Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My life is falling apart and I don’t know what to do

mercy forgiveness repentance tawbah

AOA my dear brothers and sisters. I'm 17 years old and i live in pakistan. I'm really fed up with my life as i have done almost every kind of sinful act and the worst part is my parents have found out. i really plan to change myself this time. I have apologised to my parents several times but i always return back to these sinful acts. My faith n belief have also weakened. I have a boy friend and my parents want to me to leave but he loves me alot and i love him too. what should i do? i know that i should listen to my parents as they always say what's best, but i don't know what to do. My parents even put restrictions on me but i still go back.

i really want to follow the true path of islam. Please help me as i'm having suicidal thoughts.


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4 Responses »

  1. Assalam alaikum,
    Dear Sister,

    You have chosen to love, be loved, disobey, transgress and all these things have helped you to arrive at the most unpeaceful place. I do not think you have any other choice, but to stop meeting the boy and start listening to your parents and begin returning to Allah - this is how to avoid the distress and pain and suicidal feelings that you have.

    How are you going to do this? You said that your parents already know. Is it possible to ask them for help? Perhaps you can tell your mother that you are struggling and can't cope and need her...would she understand? You need to start spending quality time with your family and keeping yourself busy enough to avoid having enough time for this boy.

    You sound like a very educated young girl and living in Pakistan, you could use your skills to help so many people - could you tutor other children? Volunteer somewhere? Be creative and use your expertise to spend your time wisely.

    Until you don't change your course of path, you will remain feeling how you are and you don't have to. You have the power to make it better. Spend time doing dhikr, pray, seek forgiveness through words and actions and inn shaa Allah, you will start to feel better. May Allah bestow His many blessings upon you and remove your sorrows, Ameen.

  2. Sisterbtry and find middle way have regular dialogue with your parentd u can come closer in thought ....
    Ell him to send his parents then to ask for ur hand sis u knw u r sinning
    . Always ask frgiveness and help guidencr and strength....

    I feeel distance ur self frm.him and tell him to send parent and convince them..
    And to ask for forgivesness from Allah and ur parents and tell him.t hat he wants a halal relationship with family.and halal relationship with u....
    Dialogue and small steps cn resolve this inshalllah..

  3. Why don't you marry him? Your boyfriend. This way it won't be sinful anymore.

  4. Salam, may Allah bless you. I know first hand it is not easy what so ever to get over your love so i wont advise you do that. Don't think suicidal you are young and do have so much to live for. Talk to your boyfriend about this, you say he loves you, let him know if you cant see him as much and that you want to wait for marriage before doing certain things try to find understanding in him as that's what seems to be the problem revolving around. If you and him can make it work where you don't have to commit harem then you wouldn't feel so guilty but also talk about marriage to him this would allow you two to be together much sooner. Things will get better believe in Almighty Allah.

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