IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice

Asalam-U-Alikum

I have been suffering from mental trauma for last many days so much so that the world seems cacophonous to me. Reason being love and marriage concern. Let me describe that I am a good guy, offering prayers five times, stuck to Islamic rules, keep myself away from sins, considerate about humans and work for the welfare of the people of my community .

I would always thought of marrying with someone who is close in my relation for the reason she would be aware of my nature and my family. Our whole family prioritizes to marry in relation and that too simple marriage even if our relative is very poor.

Finding no alternative, my mind stuck for my one of my cousin sisters of my maternal uncle who is at No 4. I am ten years elder to her. I would always take care of her when she was a child. I had been her teacher also. I guided her in matters of studies. As Cousin I have good love for her but would never preferred her as my life partner.

Since there was no alternative in my relation and was committed to marry in my own relation, I was compelled by the circumstances to think about my about this cousin. Because she is last possible good girl in my relation. I started to develop liking about her. I made lot of efforts and worked hard to fell in love with her. Thanks to Almighty, I succeeded and fell in love with her finally. I could not express my love to her for the reason; she might take it otherwise as she respects me very much.

In a fit of frustration I started to hint her about my love for her by texting like building strong relationship with you, holding your hand for ever etc etc.But she would never reply for the reason I do not know. She might not because of her shyness or there can be some other reason. But whenever we meet, we would try to behave normally as if nothing has happened.

I had been the part of the corporate world and have come across many good girls in my life, but I never paid attention to them. I got many proposals from the girls who are more pious, more beautiful, more educated, more earner and even some more young to my cousin .I always answered no to them for I am committed now to marry my cousin. Now I guess she too has some feeling for me; but I am not sure.

My cousin whom I love is at No 4 in the daughters. Her eldest sister is married, 3rd one engaged to my brother and No 2nd was in nuptial knot with her cousin from maternal side. Unfortunately she was deceived by her cousin and married to someone else. Her age is growing now and she has already crossed 31 but does not get a perfect match. I am very considerate about her personally and pray for her to get a good man in her life. Even I have to pay lot of nazar for her when she gets a good match. To describe her she is more beautiful, good structured and better lady than No 4 cousin whom I love.

My parents, our common relatives, elderly people and social pressure insists me to marry this No 2 cousin. Had they known about my love, They would not have insisted me to marry her. I cannot marry her for the reason I am already in love with her younger sister. I cannot deceive her now. But I do not know if she (no 2) has feeling for me. If I get to know somehow about her positive feeling for me, I will never deceive her, come what may. I have loved her only for good intentions and want to marry her now.

I am frustrated; I do not know what to do now to know her feelings. Shall I talk her directly? What should be her answer? If her answer in No. Should I for for No 2. But I fear I might not keep her happy even if I marry her(No.2). I do not want to be a deceptive man for no 4 whom I love, if she has some positive feelings for me. Please suggest me what should I do.

azhair.zaidi