Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My mother in law embarasses me in front of my family

PMS, crazy, wife, angry, bad mood


Me and my husband had a love marriage. Where he was the one who initiated the relationship and we made it halal with nikkah.

Before marriage i knew some of the things about my husband's family. His family was complicated. There was a dispute regarding property distribution among his father, father's brothers, father's sisters and father's mother. No parents want to marry her daughter in a complicated family. That's why I gave him time to correct things and later meet my parents and ask for my hand. By the time his father's family dispersed after property distribution, his father died and he had a tough time in making things favorable because he was the eldest brother in house and eldest child. I understood his issues and gave him time. He quickly sorted things out, gave his family a reasonable living standard. Then he sent his mother to my parents for my hand. My parents knew about our relation, but had a vague idea of his father's family disputes.

When his mother met my parents, they accepted the proposal just as a good parents should do because they knew him as a good guy and they've met him on his father's death. Till yet I had hidden those past occurrences of disputes among his family with his uncles aunties and grandmother, beacuse I only meant one thing that he is living good stable life and he can keep me happy. Among his siblings he had no disputes.

But his mother time to time discussed her in-laws among family gathering before my family, my parents, father's relatives and mother's relatives as much as now everyone in my siblings, my uncles, aunties, cousins know about my husband's and his mother's relations with his father's relatives. Thus flushing off my efforts to keep things hidden for good. Because you know that no parents want yo marry her daughter in a complicated family. And she speaks everything and left nothing hidden. And that's how she embarasses me everywhere.

I have talked to my husband regarding his mother's bad habit but he thinks it's nothing wrong with it. He's not realizing what i have to face later, a flood of questions from my relatives, my parents my siblings regarding everything they come to know from my mother in law. I'm scattered inside and doubt my decision of marrying this person who is my husband now.


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2 Responses »

  1. AoA,

    Looks like your mother in law is a bit too honest and possibly lacks finesse. I think your husband should speak to her politely to make her realize the image it paints of not just you, but herself as well.

    But doubting your decision of marrying your husband based on this reason is wrong and unnecessary.

    Hope this helps.


  2. No I disagree she is not wrong for doubting her decision of marrying her husband not one bit.!!! A mother in law is always in the life of her son and she raised her son and she can make problems big for her and husband. So she is not wrong it's true when u marry your husband you marry the whole family!! I've been there and my xhusband was greatly influenced by his evil mother who embrasses me in same ways!! Things only get worse in my marriage so that ended in divorce I hope inshallah your marriage works! But you are not wrong in terms of thinking! People don't know the situation unless they actually been in it and I have. All I can say is talk with your husband and see if he can talk with his mother and go from there. If a nothing get your family involved too!! You were not born under a tree your family will help too

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