Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My mother is confused about a proposal for me


Salam guys

I am in a very confusing dilemma. I have had a proposal come for me recently from pakistan and is a very good one, as he has studied engineering and is doing work in the army. He is also a good muslim, reads his namaz and all and seems to have a good nature, through positive reports from close family members and communication with family through whatsap etc.

I really like him but due to a few dilemmas I'm not too sure if this proposal will happen. One of the main reasons is because it is hard to call people from overseas, but however is not impossible as I have had other family members come quick after marriage.

Second is a few bad habits his mum has such as love for money and him having slight ego. I honestly believe mum is overthinking the situation, as he is religious, educated, intelligent and mature which I believe are good enough qualities in any man. One day she is agreeing to it next she isn't, and if anything it is messing with my mind and emotions.....please do help me guys! Jazakallah x


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5 Responses »

  1. Salam I believe you should talk to your mom and actually let her know uour opinions because it is a big deal to think about, help out your mom, she is your mom she wants the best for you that's why she is thinking about it a lot give her time don't rush your mum let her think through it In'sha'allah it will work out and the guy sounds like a pretty good suitable guy 🙂

  2. Mothers always want their children's good. So they are always confused. But , you don't be confused. Take your time and think the best one for you.

    • Asalam Alekum sister

      what I don't understand is..
      why is your father not involving himself since you haven't mentioned your father.

      • Wasalam,

        Thanks for your responses guys. I have spoken to her regarding this in the past but I think I will speak to her again following your advice. My dad is also confused and is unsure but is more on the no side due to believing all overseas people are greedy and selfish, I really can't imagine a life with just anyone other than him to be honest plz do keep me in your duas guys. Jazakallah.

        • Salaam Sister,

          I agree with the opinion of your father. We can't judge everyone by the same opinion but I think most men who marry a woman who lives in a western country do it only to migrate to the west. If he is such a good person why doesn't he call you there and live in his own country.

          Also, there is the issue of cultural differences. You both were brought up in different cultures and as such your way of thinking and living will be very different. If you think you will be able to suppress your feelings and wishes to please his commands then go ahead else find someone else from your own country.

          Also, please do Istikhara and then take the decision. The correct Islamic way to do the Istikhara is mentioned on this site, so please look into it.

          May Allah grant you a righteous spouse.

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