Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My parents are not agreeing to marriage with the one I love!

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ASSALAMO ALAIKUM.DEAR BROTHERS AND SISTERS

I AM A 25 YEARS ADULT BOY AND DOING A GOOD JOB ALHMDULILAH AND I AM HERE TO ASK SOME GUIDANCE

THE PRoblem is i love a girl and this has been going since last three years when i was in univeristy . I first told my mother about her and she agrees to meet her and her family and then everything goes good'my father does not know that. After sometime i told everything about us to my father and he said if your mother is agree on that then its a yes.from me.the girl family totally likes me and respect me very much. THE THING IS FROM LAST 1 YEAR MY MOTHER THINKS THAT THE GIRL I LOVE IS BAD FOR ME , SHE ABUSES HER ON PHONE SHE CALLED HER WITH BAD NAMES,AND THIS IS CONTINOULSY GOING ON TILL NOW AND FEW DAYS BACK I TALK TO MY FATHER ABOUT THIS AND HE TAKE SIDE OF MOTHER ETC
ME AND MY GIRLFRIENd are waiting for two years to talk to her parents regarding marriage and they are agree on that and they want to do marriage. My mother keep thinking wrong of her and due to which a fight is done regularly in my home. I am taking stand 110% as i dont want to leave her and i love her so much. The thing is my mother and father are now saying we dont want you to get married to that girl. I am mentally weak.now listening to their bad and ugly talkings.
My girlfriend is good and she loves them.so much but my parents are getting selfish bcz we have our own house and they are on rent etc

CAN I LEAVE MY HOUSE TO GET MARRIED AS I DONT WANT TO DO SIN FOR MORE TIME AND I WANT EVERYTHING IN SHRIAH.PLEASE GUIDE ME IN THE LIGHT OF ISLAM
JAZAK ALLAH

Fahadyaseen1

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4 Responses »

  1. walaikum assalam brother, i suggest you listen to what your heart tells you as your the one who's future and happiness it is not your parents. If you think she's the right one for you the go for it. Marry her, make her your bride. My duas are with you. I hope for you to get all the happiness in the world. Take care xx

  2. Ws. Firstly brother, you and your friend must make sincere taubah as bf/gf are forbidden in our religion. May Allah forgive
    us all as we are all sinners except whom He forgives and guides.
    Secondly, why are your parents against her? There is nothing wrong with living in a rented house. If financial status is their concern and you say you have a good job, remember jobs can come and go. That is no reason for refusal.
    As you say you have taken a stand, explain to your parents respectfully that you have been committed to this girl for the last two years and things were initially done with their permission and agreement. You cannot walk out on her like that just because of their financial status and you must marry her. If, unfortunately, they do not come around, go ahead with the alliance if you think she is the one for you. Make sure to include your parents as much as possible even if you have to go against them eventually. But, pray for them to come around and pray hard.

  3. Yes, you may get married to the girl on your own without the presence or acceptance of your parents. The issue appears to be mainly your mother and her behavior towards the girl is not Islamic. Believing somebody is suddenly bad is not a justification. Maybe she is afraid of letting go of you as you are her son.

    If you do decide to honor the commitment you made with your gf, then you should go to a mosque or contact an imam. In addition you will need 2 witnesses to complete the nikah process. As your gfs family are supportive they should be present too. You can have the nikah at their home. A friends place. Where ever you both feel comfortable. It does not have to be a mosque. There will be a nikah contract and a mahr, both of you must sign. You give the mahr to her, which can be anything you can as afford.

    I am sure your family will accept it with time. But on the off chance they don't, I do hope you will be loyal and committed to your wife to be. Not fall for the usual emotional blackmail and traps like divorce etc. Be kind to her. Respect her. If your mother talks badly then get up and leave the room or defend your wife. You may also choose to not tell your parents about the nikah just yet. Some people have the nikah but continue to live at their own parents home. This will at least make your relationship halal. Moving out may not be an option if you have no savings or income right now. So maybe wait. Also there is no need to create further tension in your home by informing them. This is something you must evaluate and decide upon.

    I wish both of you the best and a blessed union and the protection of Allah. Stay strong.

  4. Thanks my dear sisters!!
    I am married now Alhmdulilah.its a long story how it happened but I got her and I am so happy.Thanks to Allah subhan wa Tallah . 🙂

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