Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My parents want me to have an arranged marriage

marriage islam nikah purpose of

Assalamualeikum my brother and sister im a muslim women i need an advice pls help me

The case is that i want to marry this guy he is not a muslim but he said to marry me he will be one he will follow the rules etc..but my parents will never accept him..tgey want me to arrange marriege with someone

I respect islam but i dont understand that ALL THE LIFE OUR PARENTS THOUGHT US not TO SPEAK AND COLABORATE WITH STRANGERS AND SUDDENLY THEY MAKE TO MARRY ONE OF can y mary someone when im in love with somebody else i will not keep him thinking about to run away but i love my parents to...they raised me etc i cant leave them like this...but i also love the boy and also does..its like a sucide decision for me..pls advice me

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8 Responses »

  1. salam sister this is my view, if the person is going to convert to islam there shouldnt be an issue arranged marriage is more a culture thing that parents follow.all im saying is do wot u hav to do if u want to be happy it is yor life dont ruin yor life for sumthing they want u might think yor being sellfish but yor not and they r being time they will forgive u in the future as long as they see yor happy and he is muslim and living a halal life and pray to allah 5 times a day.he makes everthing happen in this world.any way inshallah all goes well salam

  2. Don't be ridiculous and such a coward. You have the guts to commit suicide and face Allah with that grave sin on your conscience, but you don't have the guts to stand up to your parents - mere huamns? Just no. You need to woman up and decide what it is you want - and accept that maybe your parents aren't going to agree with your choice, and that's okay. There are options for you. If the man you want to marry indeed converts to Islam, and there are no valid or good reasons for why your parents won't accept this man (nationality and skin colour are NOT valid reasons to say no to someone)...then you can get married without their consent. You can ask someone else to be your guardian if your dad refuses to rise up to the occasion. Yeah, it sucks that your parents choose to not be in your life, but that's their choice in the end of the day. You shouldn't have to give up control over your own life, and your basic human rights, just to keep your parents happy. What kind of parents are they anyway if they hate seeing YOU happy so much that they'd rather cut you off than let you marry the man of your own choice? I'm not sure I'd want parents like that in my life...

  3. Your parents and Islam tells you not to speak to strangers yet you 'fall in love' with one? A non-Muslim at that? I don't see the two of you together at all honestly. You seem immature and aren't strong in faith yourself. If he converts to islam he'll need a lot of working on himself and for that he needs a strong and a religious partner. These relationships before marriages almost never work, and even if the two of you do get married in the end, chances are, your marriage won't work. I think you should listen to your parents rather than going with the relationship Shaytan has trapped you in. Make your decision wisely, will you disobey your parents for a guy you just met recently?

  4. السلام عليكم ورحمه الله وبركاته

    Ideally, it's not wise to marry a non-Muslim man or woman who would convert to Islam in order to marry you. He should convert to Islam for Allah and the betterment of his akhirah. If he does it for his own selfish desires, he won't hesitate to leave the religion he entered by marrying you.

    However, this isn't to say that there are cases where a non-Muslim man or woman have reverted in order to get married, and have had a successful marriage. Nonetheless, these cases seem to be rare.

    You seem very young, as you speak about running away in order to be with a stranger. Sister, as your fellow sister in Islam, I highly advise you NOT to do this. This is irrational thinking and will only give you the anger of Allah and your parents. If you run away with this man, who will guarantee he will treat you justly? Who will guarantee he won't leave you to fend for yourself without any family that you willingly left? Leaving with this man, then being abandoned, where will you go? You'll damage the relationship you created with your family permanently, then life will only become worse for you.

    The best way is to speak rationally with your family, have them set up a meeting. If this man is truly serious about entering Islam for Allah, your family should not deny him. However, if they find him unsuitable, you should take your parents advice. In the mean time, please cut off contact with this man. If it's impossible to be with him, why torture yourself and forge an stronger co-dependent attachment with him?

    I pray you marry the one you love, if they're the khair for you.


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