Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My parents want me to marry a psychologically abusive man



I am being forced to marry someone.

I was engaged one year ago to a guy, but lately, I am having issues with him. He tells me that he will abuse me if I don't listen to him.

I have nikah in a few months. I have told my parents everything but they are still forcing me to marry him. Also, I like someone fact we both like each other a lot. I have told my parents about him, but they are still forcing me to marry that same guy!

I've tried to convinced them but they are not listening to me. In fact, they are abusing me and saying that I will get to marry that guy only.

Any help on this? What should we do?


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4 Responses »

  1. Asalamualaykum Sister,

    Yet another example of parents who are not following Islam. Honestly, your parents cannot beat Allah's rulings. I would just tell your parents that you are not marrying that guy, and that they can do whatever they want. They probably will not put you in the street. A lot of parents threaten that they will disown you, but they are really just trying to manipulate the situation. You have Allah to fear...not your parents. Stand up for your God-given rights and tell your parents that Islam doesn't allow forced marriages, and you will not comply. If they attack you physically, call law enforcement.



  2. I would record his threats and show to your parents. As they think you are lying. Gather questions that will evoke him. Do it soon. I hope he is not from oversees.

  3. If you dont feel comfortable then you have your answer and like the previous posts, record what he is saying. Remember its your life so you want to be with someone whom you feel comfortable with. Your not disrespecting your parents so don't allow that emotional blackmail to get to you, you will have to be strong.

    Well I would contact Citizen Advice bureau for help and support and explain the situation and that they your parents are trying to force you and the guy has threatened you which is TOTALY UNACCEPTABLE.

    I can't believe this mentality from parents sound like they are Asian. At the end of the day its your life and you want to be happy and content to spend the rest of your life with.

    Also with certain guys you can get some who have anger and mental health issues as well as being overly possessive (nut jobs).

    I guess this is a very challenging situation and make dua Allah helps you get out of the situation.

    Its sad parents cant be understanding.. making their children marry people whom they dont like?

  4. I don't understand how you are being forced. Are they holding a gun to your head or otherwise threatening your life or safety? If yes, then you must contact the authorities. Making the right decisions is not always easy. But you do not owe it to obey your parents in what is wrong. even in the Qur'an you are told to stand against what is wrong even of the wrong doers are your own family. Tell them they can not compel you to marry under islam, that you don't want to. If they are using emotional blackmail then you have the option to not fall for that. If they persist, then simply decline at time of nikah. This is your right. While it may cause lots of drama and anger at least you made your objection known. Parents need to stop forcing children to marry against their will. This is not how marriage is in Islam. Force of any kind is unislamic. The clash of culture and islam again.

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