Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My parents won’t let me wear hijab?!



My parents will not let me wear hijab.

My father is not practicing and does not give me a legitimate reason as to why I am not allowed to wear hijab. He says that it's oppressive, not fard, etc. My mother is practicing, but doesn't wear the hijab (she wears modest clothes though). She tells me it's dangerous, but I understand the risks of wearing a hijab. My siblings make fun of me for wanting to wear the headscarf and say rude things to me when I talk about it. It seems that no matter what I say, or what I do will change anyone's mind. Please help.

(PS I am still in school, we are Americans and I don't want to have to sneak around wearing the hijab, although I don't have many anyways)



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13 Responses »

  1. Oh sister, I feel you on this. I was there at 16. Neither parents practicing, and told me no hijab.

    So what I did I wore hoods, everywhere I went. I just wore a hood to show I was serious about it, and then after a week they gave up. Teachers complained about me because I was wearing my hood all the time, lol, and then they finally said whatever. Just wear it.

    In summer this is hard, but do find clothing with hoods, and just wear it temporarily. Once they get used to it, just put on the hijab and see what they do.

    They can't take it off of you? It's really your decision.

    Your siblings can make all the fun they want, just look them straight in the eye and don't react. Most people who want to put you down want to see you sad or get a reaction out of you. Look them straight in the eye and say I am doing this for Allah no matter what you say and walk away.

    All the best sister, and just wear your hijab. Give them a week of hood time and just do it just to see what happens.

  2. OP: My father is not practicing and does not give me a legitimate reason as to why I am not allowed to wear hijab. He says that it's oppressive, not fard, etc. My mother is practicing, but doesn't wear the hijab (she wears modest clothes though)

    Practice of Hijab varies from country to country. In many Arab countries women are required to wear burqa while in countries like Pakistan few women wear burqa.

    Your parents should let you wear Hijab the way you want.

    • Her parents should let her wear hijab the way it doesn't show the outline of the body. Otherwise it mocks the commandment Allah revealed in the Quran about drawing the cloaks in the body when you go outside.

  3. This may be a time where going against your parents wishes is permissible, if its truly not possible then just remain patient for a bit longer and once you get your own house no one can stop you to live the way you want.

  4. Also tell your father this OP, "it says it in the Quran just go look up all the verses about hijab." Also as Jimbo_Jabroni stated, this may be a time where going against your parents wishes is permissible. May Allah help you. Also, wa'alaikum assalam.

  5. I'm currently going through the same exact situation, same! It's so sad 🙁 I wish my parents would be more understanding with this.

    • Me too. I am a Christian girl and in the Bible it specifically tells us to cover our heads especially when praying. I think the hijab is beautiful and it would help me to focus on God and not be thinking about how my hair needs to look. I wore hijab one day, and I walked out of my room and my father says, "no. Go change. That represents oppression and like you are submitting to a man. I want you to be a headstrong woman who thinks for herself" and I guess it just really hurt me. He made an assumption without doing the research, and I am stuck. In the Bible it says honor thy father and thy mother but God then says I must cover my head. Isn't Gods opinion more important than my father's? Is it permissable to disobey him in this situation? I just don't know. I am stuck.

      • It's so funny how people do not see the contradiction in this. He wants you to be a strong woman who doesn't take orders from a man, so he ORDERS you and tells you what to wear. You should tell him, "You say you want me to think for myself. Well, this is what I WANT to wear, and I will."

        Wael Editor

  6. My parents are muslim and all and my mom wears hijab but only because it looks good on her but for me, my parents say im ugly and forced me to take it off.

  7. I am Catholic, but m boyfriend is Muslim and ive always had a secret attraction and curiosity to Islam. Ive never told my parents this, but recently I really felt drawn to wear the hijab and modest dresses, and I did. But my mother disapproves each time she sees me dressed in this way, and constantly tells me im a symbol of oppression and i look 'more and more like one of them'.
    It hurts, but I feel like when im covered I feel really beautiful. as when im not. I dont feel oppressed at all, surely its not oppression because im making a choice?
    I told my mother when i get married Id cover everyday, and she cried right in front of me. I feel torn between my mothers happiness and what I feel is right. I dont really know whats best or what to do 🙁

    • sit her down and explain to her nicely the meaning of hijab. change your behaviour towards her. bring her random gifts and flowers for no reason 3 to 4 times a week and be polite with her. be patient with her. she will start realizing that islam is changing you for better and will not be strict on u when u wear hijab. if you know how to pray, pray tahajjud(pre-dawn) prayers and suplicate to Allah to soften your mother's heart towards hijab and islam. Allah accepts all dua made in tahajjud

  8. Is there a Dua I can do for my mum to so she sees she is wrong and let me wear a hijab
    She is a muslim but doesn't want me to wear it

    • Asalamualaykum Dear Sister,

      Just ask Allah to guide your mother in your own words. As long as you are sincere, Allah will respond. Remember that the truth speaks for itself. When you start wearing it, she will recognize it as the truth and will have to get used to it. My stepmother thinks that I think I'm better than her because I wear hijab! People all have their views. Just do what's right and carry on.



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