Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My sex life is ruining my life

Sexless marriage, lack of intimacy, no sex

Aselam alykum..

I'm married two years ago. From early days of marriage I was not satisfied with the sex I'm having with my wife. I don't know why.

I have made dua many times and tried to make things under control and be satisfied with it. I don't want to divorce my wife because I'm happy with lot other things - her iman, behaviour and her family too are good for me.

I never have sexual experiences with other woman anytime before. But whenever I think/desire about having sex it becomes undesirable and not satisfying with her. I'm struggling to keep my nefs under control not to stare or think about other women..

Please I need your brotherly advice on how to deal with this in an Islamic manner.

Jezakum allah kheyr.

ahmedethiopia


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9 Responses »

  1. Have u spoken about this with your wife? Maybe she can do things you like? Some times it's good to discuss how u feel, although it can be embarrassing or upsetting, but that convo can change your relationship. Are you attracted to ur wife

  2. Dear Brother,
    Salaam,

    Lemme make a guess and I'm sorry if I'm wrong.

    The solution to your problem is, stop watching porn and masturbating, in a few months you will be cured.

    Inshallah.

    May Allah give you satisfaction in life.

  3. BETTER CONSULT A DOCTOR RATHER THAN DISCUSSING HERE .....YOU'VE MAN POWER PROBLEM AND ITS AN ADVICE CONSULT DOCTOR, I AM SURE DOCTOR KNOWS ....
    IT HAPPENS, ONE OF MY FRIEND HAD .SAME PROBLEM, I GAVE HIM ADVISED, HE CONSULTED HIS FAMILY DOCTOR ....NOW HIS WIFE CARES FOR HIM, HE HAVE TWO KIDS IN SHORT HAPPY FAMILY....

    REGARDS

    SAYEED

    • Please do not type in all caps, and do not write your email address in the website field.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Dear Wael

        Can you guys add a discussion forum to this advice forum, where we can discuss how to give advices. We can devise common strategies to help the people seeking help.

        Regards

  4. Oh yeah it's always the wife. It's always the women's fault. Men are so perfect! Well hey guess what what if she's not satisfied with you either. Stop thinking of other women and look at how beautiful your wife is. Other women won't do you any good.

    • You obviously have some issues. Brother Ahmed never said that it was his wife's fault, or that he is perfect. The brother is sincerely asking for advice. Responding with anger or sarcasm is not helpful.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. OP: From early days of marriage I was not satisfied with the sex I'm having with my wife. I don't know why.

    In your view what satisfactory sex should be like?

    If you don't know why you are not satisfied with the sex you are having with your wife, you need to see a sex therapist.

    In my opinion most men get satisfaction if they can have sexual intercourse followed by Orgasm. Orgasm is the
    key. Real sex is very different then sex in porn movies where a man can go on and on........

    You may have some unrealistic expectations or not good enough erections.
    How thinking about other women is going to help you?

  6. Brother ,
    The best way to deal with this is to contact the person who has the best knowledge .
    Discuss with your wife this situation you are going through.

    Tk care.

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