Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My sister is being rude to almost everyone!

Freaked out, scared

A.O.A Dear Brothers and Sisters of Islam. Well theres another problem.

My sister is almost rude to almost everyone in my family (except my father. she fears him) She yells at my mother. She yells at me. She Watches Porn and masturbates as well but never though of this as a sin. She listens to music all the time except the time of azaan. She doesn't pray. I mean not even once! My sister is very Sinful. sometimes me and my mother think that She is no longer muslim.

My entire family is in under alot of stress. Nothing works on her. NOTHING! We tried Taveez, Duas, Jinn Test (checking if she is possessed or not) and well thats all i think.

We even tried being nice to her. She is nice though. When not like this, She is like a rose. Soft and nice. Also talks and laughs with the whole family. but when she has this problem.

I even start to cry sometimes. I ask for forgiveness of if I have done a sin and have not asked for forgiveness. Same does my mother. I also sometimes think she has a psychological problem so does my mother.

We can't kick her out of the house because there is no place for her to live and she is only 16. Please help me and my family. I Don't want my mother and father to die before I have fully grown up and am like 30\40 years old.

I love my family. I will be suffering with this beast. She also says that she will kill herself. She also has dated a guy. He was a horrible guy. Porn and Sex addict. Drug Addict and Alchahol Addict. I NEED HELP! PLEASE! I CANT STAND THIS ANYMORE! I WANT MY SISTER TO LEAVE AFTER GETTING MARRIED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE OF HER ATTITUDE! PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE! She has also used strong language alot.

She has no Fear for Allah (S.W.T) Anymore i think so. The way she behaves, the way she commits sins is like she is eating a toffy. She is not a drug addict as Me and my family don't go anywhere. Please give me some wazifa, dua, tips, psychological tips. Anything!


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8 Responses »

  1. Salam,

    May Allah help your situation.


    She will just be someone else's problem and it would not be fair to put that burden on someone else's family- how you are feeling will be how they will feel too.

    I think you should make lots of dua for her and take to see a Psychiatrist.

  2. Salaam sis,

    I am sorry that your sister is going through this "teenage age matters". Your sister needs help for sure, try to get her to go to therapy, you need to all go together, try a muslim therapist, seek more advise. COntinue to pray for her, this is a terrible darkness and do not wish her to get married and live because she is young and need to adjust herself, continue to pray to Allah, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. This will pass and inshAllah she will become the sister you want her to be. Patient is virtue! Don't give up on her. Put the Holly Coran when she is around so she can listen.. that will help drive Satan away...

    Hang in there, do not give up, when there is problem, there is always a solution..


  3. Asalaamu Alaikum Br. Taha,
    I am sorry to hear what you are going through with your sister. Inshallah things get better. I, too, was quite a case at one point, and believe me--(this is coming from a 13 year old who also went through an emotional state)--they hate their mood swings just as much as you do. I went through a hormonal stage rather early (about 11 and 1/2 or 12 yrs of age) and I remember being happy one second, then the next moment I would be in tears, screaming at everybody and everything. Maybe her anger is her way of letting out her emotions. Give her some alone time. Believe me, one day she'll look back and realize how ridiculous it is to act like this. But the most important thing in time if calamity is the power of duaa. Turn to Allah(SWT) when you feel like there is no one else to turn to. Don't give up, the key is patience, even when that seems nearly impossible.
    P.S. nice job for turning to this helpful site when in need of help, I love posting questions whenever I need advice on anything:)
    May Allah reward you for your patience and ease you and your sister of your problem.
    Wasalaamu Alaikum,

  4. A lot of psychological issues start to show up at this age, so you should arrange to have her seen by a psychiatrist. Also, overtly sexual behavior such as your sister has exhibited (if you know she masturbates I assume she is not being discreet) can be a sign of sexual abuse. If you sister is going through something Iike that or has a mental health issue, it may be a while before her behavior starts to change or improve. You must bear with her because at the end of the day she is your sister and at 16 still a child. You cannot just push her off onto someone else. It will be hard for you and your family (and even harder if it turns out that she does not have a psychological issue, but is instead going through a particularly difficult rebellious teen phase, which is still a possibility) but it is a test from Allah and one for which you will receive good deeds inshallah. Also, if you know that she is seeing people who could be dangerous, like drug addicts, please tell your parents so that they can prevent her from doing this. It may be hard for you to see this but your sister is very young and naive and can easily be taken advantage of - you are her family and have a responsibility to protect her.

  5. Bipolar Disorder

  6. I also want to say like Lorelei Lee, it may be bipolar disorder , even worse, like may be she is in a Pre Schizophrenia stage, surely take her to a psychiatrist as soon as possible. Sometimes the inhalation of Marihuana causes mental prob, there are many other causes, u can check a family history also or check if she got rejection from her lover etc. I think proper psycho therapy including investigation will help finding out the cause and also possible cure , but do not delay to take her to doc.

  7. i became bad to my family because of my sisters who is envious of what i have that she does not have.. because of that, she convinced my mom to hate me and she succeeded because mother lover her so much. and, as a result, everything mother tells my siblings would be believed by them.. they are so rude to me and they want me to feel like i am not one of them.. what should i do?

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