Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Pressured into zinaa with my sister’s husband, now he is blackmailing me



im a 19 year old girl. im a good studying student.i got 95 percent marks.

my sister got married when i was 12. i have lot of love for my sister. i dont like her husband, but he likes me. my sister husband wants to ruin my life. he gifted me a phone when i was 17. he started calling me daily he manipulated me to like him, then he made me commit zina with him.

i realised the mistake i feel very guilty. but he started blackmailing me.

my parents arranged for me a marriage with another guy. i started loving my fiance with whole heart and my fiance also loves me. marriage date got fixed. my sister's husband started blackmailing me. he said everything wrong about me to my sister. he said that im interested with him to my sister.

my sister started taking revenge upon me along with her husband. my sister send my nude pics to my own brother. everyone in my family saw the photos. my sister also started blackmailing me that she is going to send all these pics to my fiance family.

finally my sister and her husband send the photos to fiance father from unknown sim. they also send a message to him that im a wrong girl i had relation with many person. so my marriage was called off.

my fiance loves me very much. my fiance had intercourse with me. he didnt say about our intercourse to his parents. but now he is ready to marry another girl. i cant forget my fiance. i truly love him. his parents would agree him to marry me if they know about our sexual relation. but my fiance wont say to his parents.

my sister and her husband is very happy that they had ruined my life. they ruined my studies, my dignity everything. what should i do? im very depressed. please help me. why only punishment is for me? not for my sister and her husband?

plz reply me. im very much depressed. many people are saying allah wont forgive me including my parents. what should i do?


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84 Responses »

  1. Sister of course Allah will forgive you, Allah is most merciful Allah is most merciful then you can imagined. Make tawbah Allah will forgive you :). don't turn Back to any of your sin you committed and make dua that Allah strengthening you and make you a better Muslims inshallah.

  2. Salam dear little sister
    Firstly I'd like to say that Allah swt forgives everyone who reaches out for his forgiveness, so pls start praying as God is very merciful.
    Secondly your brother in law is a shit head along with your sister,that's because you were young he took advantage of you and she your horrible sister has backed him up.
    This post is and has upset me badly to the point that I could slap that cruel manipulating brother in law you so call I'd slap him daft so much that he would wish he'd wish he would never have set eyes on a younger person. Who does he think he is? stopping you from getting wed!!
    It's evil cruel of what these two are doing to you, alright you made a mistake but that si called brother in law should have know better then trying it on with someone young and family too.
    Your sister is a daft idiot which has backed him up her husband, if that was me I'd kick the cra* Out of him and throw him out after all he was mature and he took advantage of you.
    Anyways what's happened as happened we can change the past but you should be able to ask your brothers to help you that you can move forward. Tell your brothers that they should knock the day lights out of your brother in law if he doesn't shut his fat gob up and not stick his oar in where it isn't wanted,
    I'm sure your brother's will understand that mistakes happen and that he your brother in law was more too blame than you, due to the fact you were a kid. He, your brother in law took advantage of the situation , he should be locked up or punished, Not you.
    I will pay for you and hopefully things will improve, you just need to pray to Allah swt and insha Allah all very soon will be okay. The marriage you wanted is a no goer as the elders know and possibly seen your nudes.
    I don't know why children do that when they are young cause nudes always come back to haunt you. You know normal people who know would think it's sad the person who made you do that, and that the person who made you do that need their butt kicking in. Anyways please don't cry about what's happened just try and be strong and carry on praying to Allah all will be okay insha Allah.
    Look after yourself and don't be depressed, you know you made a mistake and you are repenting to Allah swt.
    I will pray for your happiness and the ones who's making your life difficult will one day live to regret, please be strong and think of it as a big mistake which you did as a kid, and then think of being a better person for the future and be one.
    Good luck duas are for you dear little one. P's don't punish yourself just read and pray to Allah swt okay.

  3. You were sexually and emotionally abused by your sister's husband when you were in an vulnerable / immature age. You were tempted and manipulated by materialistic things to commit zina. I would not blame you on this act. The man is to be blamed and he is the one who committed zina.

    However, you had sex with your finance with your willingness, that is you committing zina which you should take responsibility about it.

    I would interpret and give you a credit of doubt that you had sex with your finance because you no longer understand what is right and wrong from what was happening in the past or may still happening recently with your sister's husband. For you, the line of keeping your chastity is so blurry and you do not know (or you may know, I am not sure) it is forbidden to sleep with your finance; may be you are confused or equate having sex with love. For that, sister, you should ask yourself why you are so easy? Is it because you think having sex is a casual thing? You need to ask Allah's mercy and repent from your sin. Don't do this again, DON'T DO THIS again. I am sorry to say that I do not see from your post that you feel guilty by sleeping with your finance; the only problem for you was the wedding being called off. In this aspect, I do not see you have any remorse from what you did. You need to know it was sinful and you need to repent.

    Now, moving on. You will not have your finance back and this is a fact. In terms of your sister and her husband, let Allah does the judgement or punishment, it is not in your hand or your times to see. I would strongly advice you to stay away from them. They are poisonous, they are not good nature people to be with. If they offer help in the future, stay away, period. I hope you understand and take my advice seriously. This man may tempt you again to sleep with him with another enticing offer. Your sister is not a decent person by sending your nude picture either.

    Now for your family, your parents and brothers, the damage control is to admit your mistakes and tell them how shameful you feel and you are asking Allah to forgive you. You may tell the part that you feel comfortable to tell them, for example why there is a nude picture and the inappropriate relationship with your sister's husband; how he manipulated you and tempted you to have sex. I suggest you may want to talk to your mother first. Your mother hopefully will sympathy with what you went through and accept you again as her daughter.
    You need to be honest with them. The fact that you have sex with your fiance, I think you should keep it for yourself and Allah as it will not help to bring back your fiance and will not make the parents sympathy your situation.

    This is a hard lesson but I think it is for a good reason. It reveals to you that you should not be too easy about sex and you did commit zina. It is better to ask forgiveness in this life than being punished in the afterlife. Also, now your sister's husband will not touch you anymore as he is exposed. He should not have anything to tell or show to anyone.

    Start from here sister. You can be cleaned and forgiven by Allah if you are regret from your heart about your sin and repent from it. Inshallah, your family will see you how you transform to be a better person and will arrange another marriage for you in the future. Now, keep your salat, read your Quran, do your repentance, move on with your life and focus in your study. The worse case scenario or a future plan is you earn your independent by getting a well paid job, inshallah,; move out completely from those unhealthy or non supportive environment and start from fresh.

  4. OP: my sister's husband started blackmailing me. he said everything wrong about me to my sister. he said that i'm interested with him to my sister started taking revenge upon me along with her husband. my sister send my nude pics to my own brother. everyone in my family saw the photos. my sister also started blackmailing me that she is going to send all these pics to my fiance fiance loves me very much. my fiance had intercourse with me. he didn't say about our intercourse to his parents. but now he is ready to marry another girl. i cant forget my fiance

    Your nude pics are a proof that you like your sister's husband. You also had sex with him. For how long you were having sex with your brother in law?.

    Did you tell your fiancee about your relationship with your brother in law? You had sex with your fiancee too. Did you give your nude pictures to your fiancee too. Your fiancee may be pretending that he loves you just to use you. He may have sent the pictures too.

  5. Salam sister

    i can see that you are in a very depressig situation, and I prayy that you move on inshaaAllah

    The details you have mentioned are very disturbing indeed.
    Honestly, do you think you are addicted to sex sister ? You need to think and see if that is the case, as you might need some professional help.

    A man that can have you for free will never be bothered to buy you a ring. He will only value you if you always value yourself.. keep this in your mind. so do not sell yourself short sister. No free sex again even if your fiance promised to come back to you and wanted it again... your body is a trust from Allah and you should not just be so relaxed about giving access to it to any man other than your husband.

    What you should do ...

    1. Repent to Allah immidiately and sincerely as death maight come any time might not even finish reading this lines.

    2. Make lots of istighfar and prayers ... ask for forgivness from your creater by saying " Astaghfirullahi Alazeem ".. say it as much as you can.. more than 100 times per day .. keep doing it and feel the meaning.. This will serve 2 things .... 1- you get forgiven inshaaAllah 2-Allah makes way for you to be a way from these people ..

    3. Try to move away from your sister and her husband, see what options do you have to accomplish this. Keep company of good people who remind you of Allah and the hereafter and support you in your course.

    4. You may consider to protect yourself and look for a good brother " husband"after you complete your waiting period... You are sexually active now sister and you need to fulfil that in a halal way so you will never be weak again in that regard... Let him know that you want to continue your studies and that you need his support.

    5. Put this past behind you and jus keep it for yourself. No body need to know your sexual history, and nobody should. Do not volunteer to speak about it not even to your future husband. as will only do you more harm and no good at all.

    May Allah forgive you and give you guidance and provide you with a husband with whom you can make a truely good muslim family

  6. That is an absolute betrayal of trust, both from her husband and you. Remember you might end up marrying such an immoral man or have your husband cheating on you with your sister or someone else. How would you feel?

    Secondly, what did you expect your fiancé's family reaction to be after seeing your pictures? Nonsense. You didn't want him and only him. If that were the case, you wouldn't have put yourself in that predicament, but the bottom line is that if you truly loved and respected him, you would NEVER have done ANYTHING that would hurt him. If you are so careless about another persons feelings then you don't deserve them.

    Not gonna lie, you messed up real bad. There's a reason that zina carries such a high penalty in Islam. It's not a small sin. It's a huge, huge one. With that said, this hadith always makes me feel better.

    O Son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O Son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O Son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins as great as the earth, and were you then to face Me ascribing no partners to Me, I would bring you forgiveness equal to it in measure.

    There was no reason for you to have indulged in haram with your fiancé that only takes away from the sanctity of a marriage you could have had. Speak to any sheikh or da'ee who travels, they'll tell you. Even if you don't end up committing zina, you two have gone way further than any decent Muslim should. And 90% of the time, it does not end in marriage.

    Wisen up. Repentance is a joke if it's not coupled with a sincere intention to not go back.

    You need to stop trying to solve your problems with sex. It has created more problems than you can handle. Anyways, good luck, I hope you get therapy and figure out why you stooped to such a low level, hopefully you can find peace by repenting first.

    May Allah conceal your sin and May He forgive you and all Muslims dead and alive. Ameen.

  7. Sister ,

    First and most you should realize that you have crossed the boundaries set by Allah and committed zina with fiance and also brother in law .

    Repent deeply for your action .Allah will forgive you if you repent sincerely and not to commit these sins in future .I see you have bad feeling for wedding being called off and being exposed but not because of your sins . This you need to realize seriously and repent deeply .

    You don't keep any contact with your sister and bro in law .They have done some thing which is not in your hand .Avoid them in future and don't take any help or favor from them in future .

    Regarding your brother in law How he pressurized ?? Has he raped you ? If he has raped you then i think you can report him to police . Your fiance seems to be a person with less religious inclination as he had sex before marriage which is a big sin in islam ...I think you should start building relationship with Allah and repent for all of your sins .At the age of 19 you are not too young to not to know what is good or bad so please don't fall in to the trap of shayateen by consoling your self you are too young .Just come closer to Allah and never do such sins again and be honest to your future husband .. At 19 you are not a kid but a mature girl .

  8. the brother in law had taken the advantage of me.he has ruined my life by making me a wrong girl before my brother in law doesnt know about the relation with my fiance.but my fiance doesnt disclose my relation to his parents.but my sister ,his husband and my fiance is depressed with guilt

  9. wont allah punish them for their sin

  10. everyone hates good studying student.he has ruined everything.i was thinking thinking how i became this much bad and im becoming very depressed.its so harsh that broyher in law send the pics to fiance father wont allah punish them

  11. he manipulated you to like him? how? why you engaged yourself in texting and calling, you did nt let this know to your parents are not aware that he is your sister's husband? you kept it a secret? why did you send him your nude pictures why you didnt let this know your parents when he first started this. and what did you tell your parents the day you were going to have sex with him han? which excuse did you give.
    you should be ashamed of yourself recognize your mistake as well.
    you must repent and never ever send such kind of photos to anyone.
    your fiance has gone let him go. concentrate on your studies

  12. everyone in my father and mother family know about my sin.because my fiance family is exaggerating my sin and they were publishing to everyone in more question shall i marry in future or not.but i cant forget my fiance.should i ask dua to allah to give him back or totally feeling very guilt

  13. wael plz reply

  14. im the girl who posted the question

  15. wael pls reply me

  16. Salaamu Alaikum,
    First, repent to Allah and seek his forgiveness.
    Second, you are still young and has got all your life ahead of you, Insha Allah. Don't stress out yourself. Don't over think about these issues. Pray to the Almighty. Attend religious classes. Pray a lot to ALLAH.

    You came to this ALONE and you will be back to ALLAH alone. Don't care about anyone else. Focus on your studies and education. Insha Allah, you will find a deserving husband.

    As for your sister and brother in law, leave it to Allah to deal with them.Don't disclose what had happened between you and your brother in law to anyone. Put your trust in Allah. Wake up in the night prayer. Focus on reading Qur'an and dikr. I am sure you will be fine, Insha Allah. Believe that you have a lot of good years ahead of you.

  17. everyone is blaming me y did i agree to marry to my fiance.when he give the phone i pleased to take the phone brother stopped talking with me because i accepted the phone from him.i was a good girl still mother and sister stopped talking with me.i was alone.he used this oppurtuniy.he started calling me daily.then he manipulated me.he used to talk caring words to me.then he made to commit i realise how big sin i have commited i feel so depressed.the fiance is calling me daily he is saying that he cant forget mme.he is saying that he cant marry me because his parents wont allow him.i was a good girl still 17 he changed my character i started hating everyone in my family.i have become so adament.the bro in law is a doctor and he has two daughters.he is having relation with many girls.he told me that im the one among ten girls for him.i felt so ashamed how did i commit this .but he planned to ruin my life.besides that i didnt send the pictures.he has taken it.what should i do.i dont like him still 17.i dont know what happened after 17.before saying yes to marriage i asked bro in law whether he do anything to stop the wedding.he said no.but he stopped the marriage.he also commited sin.but why the punishment is only for me

    • A few points my dear sister:

      1- The punishment is not necessarily only for you - if they are wronging you, leave them to Allah - He will punish them and recompense you InshaAllah - for what they did was wrong. It was very wrong of them to interfere and send those pictures to your fiancee.

      2 - You keep saying: "he started calling me daily.then he manipulated me.he used to talk caring words to me.then he made to commit sin." I don't know how it exactly happened but unless he actually raped you then he didn't make you commit sin. If you chose to do the sin then dear sister you must take responsibility.

      Why? Because to repent you need to accept you did wrong. I am not blaming you but you NEED this to repent.

      And we ALL need to seek forgiveness everyday anyway - The Prophet (pbuh) used to ask Allah to forgive him 100x a day and he had no sin!

      However saying this - it may have been that your bro in law groomed you - if this is the case he has broken the law and could be prosecuted so please be aware

      And Allah has promised us that if we repent No matter how big the sin - He (Swt) will forgive us. Turn to Allah now, you don't know when life can end. Make tawbah.

      - Let your brother sister, ex fiancee and his family say whatever they want - the more the wrong you, the more they are gifting you in the next life.

      - Pray lots of tahajjud and salat.

      - Stop talking to your EX fiancee - it's over, he has said he's not going to marry you so cut contact. Keep yourself away from any type of zina (talking is type of zina!)

      - You are in control of your feelings and of how you act. No one changed your character - you changed it yourself sweetheart. No matter how someone acts or what they do we make our own choices. The good news is you can choose how to act now.

      - Whatever feeling or worry or anything that you feel about this whole situation - any feeling every feeling - happy sad etc - just decide to allow it to be there sister. This will free you and you will find yourself beginning to move forward.

      Sara Editor

  18. everyone says that i wont a good husband hereafter and everyone curses performing salah it has been 4 months and 3 days after breaking of marriage.i was crying this whole year because of my shameful my life over?hereafter iwont get happiness ah?im becoming depressed day by day by thinking how i become this much bad

    • everyone says that i wont a good husband hereafter and everyone curses me."

      How do these people know? Can they see the future? Let them say what they want, it doesn't make it true.
      Why not start reading the seerah of the Prophet (pbuh) - you will see how much he struggled and it will be comfort to you InshaAllah.

      im performing salah it has been 4 months and 3 days after breaking of marriage.

      Alhumdulilah for salat - may Allah swt keep you firm upon it. Ameen. Forget about anniversaries of the past - you can move forward now and learn from this.

      i was crying this whole year because of my shameful my life over?hereafter iwont get happiness ah?im becoming depressed day by day by thinking how i become this much bad.

      Do you know sister, sometimes shaytaan likes to play with the Muslims if they have done a major sin. He makes them feel depressed and down - like their sins are too big

      PROTECT yourself from this. Have hope in Allah

      “Allah the Exalted said: “O son of Adam! As long as you invoke Me and plead to Me, I will forgive you whatever you have committed, and I will not make much of it. O son of Adam! If your evil deeds reach the borders of the sky, and then you ask Me for forgiveness, I will forgive you. O son of Adam! If you bring forth the earth full of errors, then you meet Me while you do not associate anything (or anyone) with Me, I will bring forth for you its full of forgiveness.” [At-Tirmidhee (Shaikh Albanee rendered it as Hasan)]

  19. Really is quite heartbreaking reading about your situation. Alot of damage has been done, but its never to late to rectify. Firstly, no one has the right to tell you that allah wont forgive you. This is upto allah, and him alone. Always remember, no matter how great we think our sins are, his mercy is ALWAYS greater than our sins.

    i can understand you feel alone, guilty and ashamed, but you have to rid yourself of all these negatives feelings. whats done is done and wallowing over the past will serve no good and you now need to try and move forward from this sitatuion and pick yourseld up the best you can. i know this isnt something you want to hear, but you have to let go of any attachment/feelings/hopes of your faincee returning to you. Even though you believed he would be the man you would end up marrying, ultimatly you commited zinaa with him also, this wasnt forced from what you are saying and that alone is a big sin. it speaks volumes that he didnt respect you enough to wait untill marriage and has now left you. This in itself is a blessing in disguise.

    Your brother in law is no doubt wrong forming a relationship with you, but you also played a part in this. You knew it was wrong to cross the limits with your sisters husband otherwise you wouldnt have kept it all a secret. He may have gifted you a phone, but you could have told your sister/parents and did not have to maintain communication with him let alone send him nude pictures. He has used you and places all the blame on you, which is not uncommon behavoiur. I not saying this to place blame, but to remind you that Your focus should now not be on "will allah punish him" as you have to realise you have played a part in this too instead your focus should be "how can i gain allahs forgiveness". allah is just, allah is fair, and if you believe in his words and in the quran, know that anyone who has wronged you will be punished. weather it be in this life, in the grave or the akihirah. Forget if he is happy with your sister and put the focus on you and repairing your relationship with allah swt.

    Your sister is in no doubt hurting over this betryal but this in turn did not give her the right to expose your sins in the manner that she did.

    You need to start of by repairing your relationship with allah swt and in sha allah everything witll repair itself. re establish your 5 daily prayers. ask for forgiveness and never return to this sin again. stay away from non mehrams. focus on your studies and do not let this mistake shackle you into ruining your life further. speak to your parents, and make them aware of everything that has happened between your brother in law and yourself and ask for thier forgivessness. start to piece your life back together. its best yo ustay away from your sister and brother in law.

    i know you feel your life is over, but everything that happens to us is a consequence of our actions. we are either being tested or punished. you need to accept this is all a consequence of th wrong and alhamdulliah u have acknowleged you have sinned. dont let shaitaan win twice by holding you back from repentance and making amends/.

  20. thanks for the worried whether i have to live the rest of life alone.everyone in my father and mother family is so happy that i have commited sin.they were talking this as a issue and exaggerating my sin.will my life end with sister is in anger with me not with her husband.she knew that her husband is having relation with many sister is saying that she has destroyed my life wholeheartedly and she says she is ready to go to sister had beaten my mother .because my mother said that her husband is bad

    • At least your mother supported you by saying your sister's husband is bad . Since you also took part in sinful activity so they might be upset with you .Be patient and change yourself ..With time these things will go out of mind and life will return to normal gradually .Come closer to Allah and repent sincerely .

  21. r: i have become so adament.the bro in law is a doctor and he has two daughters.he is having relation with many girls.he told me that im the one among ten girls for him.i felt so ashamed how did i commit this .but he planned to ruin my life.besides that i didnt send the pictures.he has taken it.what should i do.i dont like him still 17.i dont know what happened after 17.before saying yes to marriage i asked bro in law whether he do anything to stop the wedding.he said no.but he stopped the marriage.he also commited sin............but why the punishment is only for mer i have to live the rest of life alone.everyone in my father and mother family is so happy that i have commited sin.they were talking this as a issue and exaggerating my sin.will my life end with sister is in anger with me not with her husband.she knew that her husband is having relation with many sister is saying that she has destroyed my life wholeheartedly and she says she is ready to go to sister had beaten my mother .because my mother said that her husband is bad

    If your brother in law told you he will not mess up your wedding, it may be some one else who sent your nude pictures. It could be your fiancee. You already had sex with your fiancee. You fiancee may be playing a game with you just to use you sexually.

    You say, your brother in law had sex with many girls. He may be doing things with his woman patients also If he lives in Western country he could easily get into serious legal problems. HE HAS NO GUILT OR WORRIED ABOUT ANY SINS.

    Don't let this guilt /worry about sin stop you from getting married. You are not alone who has committed this sexual sin. Dr Shazia Nawab, a Pakistani doctor has done some research on sex among relatives in Pakistan. I was shocked to see her video on the subject on youtube.

    You are not alone who had done this. Just repent and stop sinning. Look for an educated guy and get married. Don't talk to any one about your sexual relations with any one.

  22. its my brother in law who had send pics to fiance father .he said to me after engagaement he is going to ruin my life.he is going to stop the marriage.its not my fiance who had send the pics.and my sister also said that she is going to stop my marriage

  23. its my brother in law who had send pics to fiance father .he said to me after engagaement he is going to ruin my life.he is going to stop the marriage.its not my fiance who had send the pics.and my sister also said that she is going to stop my fiance is not involved in this.the sim was registered in brother in law name.but he is not accepting it.also he blackmailedme.he tortured me.because of this stress i stopped studying.i dont know what to do.

  24. my bro in law made me cry everyday by blackmailing everyday that he would stop the marriage .finally my sister also joint him .both started blackmailing me.atlast they stopped the fiance and his family didnt stop the marriage by seeing the pics.i have confessed my fiance i had commited zina.he said this to that they called off the marriage

    • your fiancé comes across as a man with double standards. it was okay for him to commit zina with you before marriage and tell you that he loves you, yet he exposed your sin of committing zina and uses this as the reason to end the marriage proposal? if he did truly love you, he would not have told his parents. he quite frankly used you and used this as a way out.

    • r: my fiance and his family didnt stop the marriage by seeing the pics...............i have confessed my fiance i had commited zina.he said this to that they called off the marriage

      So you agree that your fiance who had sex with you told his parents that you had committed Zina (with your brother in law) and that led his parents to call off the marriage.

      Best thing is to move on. Never tell any one you had committed Zina with your brother in law, your fiance or......

  25. Assalamo alaikum.
    1) if you are sincerely repentant, and vow never to return to this sin, insha Allah, Allah will forgive you.He is Merciful. But you need to work towards that forgiveness by trying in every possible way to be closer to Him.
    2) Ofcourse your bro in law, sister and fiance have sinned greatly and will be punished, if not in this world, then in the Hereafter.Especially your bro in law, he seems like the most evil person ever. But you need to understand that by talking to him, liking him and having relations with him, you have done your sister a most grievous wrong. Although that does not justify her aiding her husband in breaking your marriage. Is it possible for you to patch up your relationship with her? If possible, tell her your side of the story and apologize.
    3) Do not contact your fiance ever, no matter what he says. Don't ever pick up his calls.if he wants to marry you, he will involve his parents and do so in an honorable way. Having relations with you, and then letting the marriage break up was not an honorable thing to do..and further communication with him will only further complicate matters.
    4) Talk to your parents, especially your mother.They might be scandalized and rightfully so, but they are your parents and your only sincere well wishers. Tell them to control your sister and brother in law.Ask them for solutions.Ask their forgiveness.Insha Allah they will cover you till the end, from every harmful element, to the best of their abilities.
    5) It might be better for your peace of mind if you were to have a change of scenery. You say you're a good student.How about applying to a college/university in a different city, with a hostel? It would give you a chance to start afresh. I would also 'recommend not letting your sister and brother in law know where you go.
    6) Concentrate on your studies, with the aim of becoming independent, and financially able to look after yourself. Remember sis, in this era, many young ladies are focusing on becoming independent and not marrying is no longer the taboo it once was.
    7) Pray, pray, pray. Allah alone has the power to mold our destinies.Best of luck, sis.

  26. Assalaamualaikam

    What's happened can't be changed, but you can move forward from this. Remember that Allah places tests and trials in our lives so that we can grow and become closer to Him - use this as a starting point for learning more about Islam and building your own self-respect so that you don't end up turning to non-mahram guys in the future. It can be hard to feel that the people who hurt you aren't being punished, but remember that they will be accountable for their actions in front of Allah; even if they seem to be 'getting away with it' just now, Allah is All-Knowing, nobody can hide anything from Him.

    With regards your brother-in-law, what he did was wrong. There's no way he should have been seducing his wife's younger sister, regardless of anything else. I don't know all the details, but from what you've said, it sounds like he may have been grooming you for this, by giving you gifts and so on, to manipulate your emotions into thinking the two of you had a romantic connection. I'm not sure where you live, but depending on your age and how far things went between the two of you, he may have broken the law if you were under the age of consent, or if he began seducing you when you were under the age of consent. I suspect he's either done this sort of thing (seducing other girls) before, or will in the future - guys like this tend not to change.

    My advice to you would be to use this as an opportunity to clear out unhelpful people from your life. Your brother-in-law... get him out your life. Your fiance (who didn't respect you enough to avoid premarital relations)... he can go too. Your family are always going to be your family, so your sister will likely remain a part of your life, but you don't have to be friends with her - be civil but don't waste your energy trying to be her friend.

    Focus on your studies, start studying Islam more (maybe join a sisters-only study class?), and observe Islamic guidance in your lifestyle. Make sure that you offer sincere tawbah - it might help you to read our articles on this subject to learn more about what this entails. And above all, remember that Allah is Most Merciful - trust that He will forgive us when we turn to Him in repentance.

    Midnightmoon editor

  27. Why are people talking about sex addition? she hasn't described herself as a sex addict just a sexually active young women? committing zina with 2 people does not equate sex addiction, and she would be rightly laughed right out of any clinic......


    At the age of 17 and 19 you understand right from wrong, you are an adult and responsible, so i don't believe you for one second, when you state you were manipulated into having sexual intercourse with your sisters husband, you were not a child, OWN WHAT YOU DID
    Its the first step to Allahs forgiveness....

    You need to focus on what you have done, rather then what has happened in response to YOUR actions, Your have lost your dignity by YOUR own actions you'll do well to realize that,

    you seem to be more concerned in chasing your ex fiance rather then releasing the wickedness of your actions, and that your behavior seems to have led to pushing your sister into behave in an inappropriate way........

    so your sisters husband commits zina with others, so you thought it would be ok for you to do too, sorry your logic is disgusting....
    Do you actually want help, or just people to feel sorry for you? i feel sorry for your sister and family not you

    you need to spend the rest of your life asking for your sisters forgiveness and the forgiveness of your parents for bringing upon them this humiliation,

    if you are sincere in your repentance Allah will forgive you, but man isn't as forgiving as Allah and you certainly don't have the right to be exasperated or impatient when the door gets slammed in your face.....

    • what kind of inhuman answer you are giving. its just because you were not at her place what if Allah places you at her place and somebody makes you feel the same .
      i did nt like the way you said things you are very rude and insulting.

      • I'd like to think that if i had slept with my sisters husband which would NOT HAPPEN, i would at least have some humility about it, from the multitude of comments following the intial post from the sister seems only concerned with how others will be punished??

        ooh that, and how she can get her ex fiance back, although he is also currently engaged with another women,

        everyone that has followed speaking of manipulation, her being used etc are failing to allow her to take responsibility for her actions, those who have posted r.e the sister, have failed to notice that the sister did NOT in fact send any pictures of this women to anyone it was in fact the brother in law.

        All humans are capable of making mistakes, that is granted, the evil ones are those who make mistakes and have no regard for them, do you know whats inhuman to hurt people including your own family members and to concern yourself with how they shall be punished in response to the evil you did to them, to commit such immorality and to complain that people are making your sin worse then it is?

        I am not free from sin but Alhamdulliah i do have a something called a conscience, something of which seems to be lacking here,

  28. i asked sorry to my sister for my mistake.but she had taken revenge on me.she is ready to forgive her husband and not not a sex ex-fiance is calling me daily and scolding me because of my sin.besides that everyone in my father and mother family is putting lot of blames upon me which i have not done.

  29. i asked sorry to my sister for my mistake.but she had taken revenge on me.she is ready to forgive her husband and not not a sex ex-fiance is calling me daily and scolding me because of my sin.besides that everyone in my father and mother family is putting lot of blames upon me which i have not done.

  30. i accept my mistakes.i feel so guilty.i made my mind that my ex-fiance should marry another girl and be happy.but he used to call me daily.he says that he cant forget me.i stopped talking with him.he lied to me that he is suffering from having brain tumour.he said that these are the last days of he is saying that he lied to me because he wants me to talk.what should i do.he wont marry me.but he needs me to talk.what should i do

    • Don't talk to him, ignore him. Let him say what he wants, he can scold you etc. If he is scolding you then let him.

      Focus on YOURSELF now, and your relationship with Allah not with these other people. He doesn't need to you talk, he is only playing with you. Free yourself of him and this rubbish.
      You deserve better sister, you've hit rock bottom - the only way is up now InshaAllah and your ex fiancee and all these people are trying to keep you at the bottom for longer.

      Choose to let it go and move upwards. Get closer to Allah - make that your goal!

      Islamic Editor

  31. im not saying my bro in law having relation with many girls so it is ok for saying my sister is forgiving him and not me.she also taken revenge on me ,she is saying that she wont let me getting married from future .she will ruin the proposals for marriage in future also.when my mother told her that husband also did wrong she had beaten my mother.she is saying to my parents that she is ready to go hell

    • It is understandable she is angry after the affair. Seek forgiveness of Allah and move on. You cant change the past. Also she can't harm you except with what is decreed. When its your time to marry eventually InshaAllah nothing can stop it, and if you want to marry and its not right for you, no one can make it happen.

      "Young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice] : Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek help of Allah. Know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried."

  32. im not saying my bro in law having relation with many girls so it is ok for saying my sister is forgiving him and not me.she also taken revenge on me ,she is saying that she wont let me getting married from future .she will ruin the proposals for marriage in future

  33. i know how are u feeling this time but somewhere you are defensive. i want you to apologize to your sister, discuss everything with her, try to discuss with your parents and brother. tell them everything. your sister was very emotional, your brother in law took benefit from it thats how the photos were leaked and sent to the family members. offcourse your sister is in great shock that his own very sister has done such kind of harm to her while the other girls are strangers , try to understand this. she is already tolerating his husband just to save his own family life she is suffering

    your brother in law is an immoral person, tell your parents the same he told you that you are among one of his ten girls
    do not visit your sister's home ever! cut off ties with your brother in law dont be bother to attend the phone if calls at home no.
    and about fiance he told everything to the parents he was nt able to keep it secret . he is not able to trust
    admit your mistake in front of all and dont try to disclose your sex event with anyone ever in the future especially bury that fiance thing.
    it is the time of your life where girls study, enjoy, groom themselves they don't involve themselves in sexual activities. you must focus on your studies
    being a good student does nt make you a pious person at the same time. it is very heartbreaking to know that your parents are suffering too, i dont know how they would face anyone in the family.

  34. sister lorelei lee i didnt understand your reply

  35. i want my ex-fiance to be happy by marrying a girl.i also accept because of my sin he left me.but i dont know why he is calling me and crying to me that he cant forget me.he is also saying that he will marry another girl but he is calling.sister muslimah i agree and i accept i have commited a huge sin.i cant escape by putting the whole blame upon bro in sister doesnt know about this sin before my engagement.after engagement he started blackmailing me daily .then he said everything wrong about me to my sister,both joined together and started revenge on asking question he made me to commit and he is punishing me now,.he and my sis will also ruin my proposal in future too.they want to me cry for full life,what my sis,bro in law is correct.?

    • Dont pick up the phone - block him

    • Your focus should be repenting for what you have done period,

      You make the CHOICE to continue to sin and ALLOW your ex fiance the time of day by repeatedly picking up his phone calls, while continuing to do so, whatever he says during the phones calls is partly your fault because you entertain him, the way forward as suggested by sister Sara is to stop, do not answer any further phone calls, have no further contact.

      I think the fact you slept with your sister's husband would be cause enough for her to hate you, rather then your brother in laws behavior, you have a lot of making up to do, and you must have mercy with her reactions to what you have done, because you have done the worst thing a sibling could do to another, i think you should give her some space and concentrate on you, if your serious, it inshallah can happen, its going to be a healing process between the two of you, and you need to allow her to be angry, mean etc etc till finally inshallah her love for you will override the anger she feels.

      I know i seem harsh, but i want you to understand this, put behind you all this business about who will be punished sister, because without true regret and repentance you are surely at the top of the list, you are young you should be enjoying you life not getting yourself into all of this nasty business, your actions could possibly destroy your dunya and your aakhira, is that what you want?

      you have choices like we all do, what is done is done you can't change that, but you can utilize this mess into a means of getting closer to Allah, stop worrying about you not getting a good man, all the while continuing to sin, stay away from zina, repent and inshallah you will have what is decreed and whatever you ask Allah for by his mercy,

      You say your sister is happy now, i truly doubt that, this kind of talk is quite immature, she has a cheating husband and a sister who slept with her husband? leave her relationship alone, at least for now, its really not your position to involve yourself in, perhaps in the future, you may be able to help your sister in regards to her marriage, but your a smart girl, its highly inappropriate for you to butt in right now,

      Your sister is going to say a loooooottt of things that aren't very nice right now, each time she does remember why? be patient and pray to Allah to rebuild your relationship, in time inshallah you will be ok,

      this situation is very sad, actions in life have consequences sister, things are going to be difficult for a long time, put your trust in Allah and lean on him for support its the only way through.

  36. Asslamoalikum
    Allah is most the mercyful and kind. muslimah u must not b so rude to her if she already feeling guilty wht she have done. she did zina if u and i didnot did zina but how we can say we r away from sins we r human we can make mistake May Allah keep us on right path plz b kind with her she know she done sin and mistake help her to seek advise and courage her to ask forgivness fem Allah In Sha Allah He will forgive.
    Sister u must listen to ur sister till u didnot get ur pics and delete them this must ur first thing to do after asking forgivness frm Allah. as u done this move on ur life till u didnot get nikkah to someone dnt give ur body to anyone u r presious ur brother in law and ur fience they r lusty. Avoide ur brother in law as much as u can inshallah u gonna have good husband in ur life. ur pics r eveidence might b ur sister kept using to blackmail just try to delete them. after this u didnnot need to tell anyone wht u done to ur futur husband or anyone if ur sister done just say no u didnot. i will pray for u.
    SVS i saw dr. shazia nawaz documentry. she mention everything can b truth but in pakistan still morals high then few sotries happen. she said she didnot sleep with her brother becoz its not in her nuture so its mean who is religous in in their nuture that women didnot sensible at all. she mention she got stories with real id. then she said its long ago then its now she reserach i dnt even felt truth in her reserach she block a person long ago then she again research on him thinking its in person nuture. it can happen but in 1000 might b one westren country dnt have its deep serect. i felt funny she said wentrn got long life. that is why childern put parents in old house where they wait for them mother's day and father's day. in million of people cant every one right. u must shock also see documentry of westrn people sex amoung relatives.

    • If you read my comments properly, my 'rude' or direct behaviour, has nothing to do with this sister committing zina,

      With respect your interpretations of what i have said, are not inline with what i have actually said......

      You have said i shouldn't be rude 'if' the sister was feeling guilty, i agree, i was only 'direct' because of the lack of guilt portrayed initially, i am also not first person to notice that the sister initially demonstrated a severe lack of remorse, repentance cannot begin without remorse,

  37. my sister is happy with his husband now .after ruining the marriage they were so happy.they were celebrating it like a victory.both my sis and her husband is still threatening me that they will destroy my life hereafter also.sister muslimah im asking what my sister and husband did is it correct?my sis is not talking to my parent and also she is not talking with my brother

  38. sister lorelei lee i apologise to my sister.she says she wont mind about his husband mistakes .she says that he is a man and he will do mistakes.she says that she know her husband is having relation with many women.but she ruined my life to make her husband happy.his husband had behaved nice at first to destroy regreting so much that i have did such a bad thing

    • Islam has equal punishment for men and women for Zina .It is wrong to say man can make mistake.Unacceptable argument .

      Your sister seems to be having mental problem .She stopping communication with her parents shows her true nature . I think obviously your parents might have argued with her as what they did was wrong and she stopped communication with them .

      Your brother in law and sister are sick minded and avoid them in future too ..

      Islam doesn't allow highlighting other's sins in front of the world .What they did was wrong and they have committed a sin .

      I am sure your parents will be still loving you but might be upset because you took part in that sinful activity .I hope after some time they will be back to normal ..insha allah..

  39. my ex-fiance is calling me and he is scolding me with so harsh words which i cannot bear

  40. my sister had said my mother to kill me.should i be killed .my sister also told me to commit suicde.

    • Assalaamualaikum Dear,

      I can understand your state of mind , your focus is on others , what they are getting after destroying your life, and concern about your future, they will repeat same if any marriage proposal comes. But why don't you think about Present - this moment - do you think will live for another x years and get proposals etc.. We do not know when we all will die and nobody on this earth can tell you about how will your sister or brother in law will get punishment from Allah (swt) in which form or will they every get. You should not even think about it. Think about yourself and your relationship with Allah (swt). You have to focus on your imaan, read istighfaar a lot, pray regularly...whenever you get a thought of "Will they be punished", ask yourself "Am I forgiven by Allah(swt)" you don't know this yet and none of the events in life can tell that. Only on the judgement day will you be able to know, so don't be hopeless but try to strive for each and every moment of life to gain Allah(swt) pleasure, to repent, to read dua's etc.

      take care.

  41. Dear sister r
    You seem very depressed and keep talking about your horrible past. You need to see a psychiatrist with your ongoing thoughtsAnd the problems you had or have. You also need to calm down and pray to Allah swt and in future keep yourself clean. STAY AWAY FROM SIN, ZINA! ASK THE ALMIGHTY TO FORGIVE YOU AND KEEP REPENTING AS WELL AS STAYING AWAY FROM THINGS LIKE ZINA! Look after yourself and keep your head down in studying and prayers only.
    What has happened will not change, only you can learn from this,by becoming a better religious person okay.
    No one can help you if you go on and on about what was to be and what happened, please see a psychiatrist and a councillor,talk to them.
    In future don't be an easy target and learn to respect yourself, people who have used you may have known that you are naive and easy. Your grown up now and need to change yourself and become a better person, if your brother in law has taken advantage of you and did take them pictures of you by forcing you, I suggest you go to the police.
    Tbh I really think let the past be buried and move away from the people who used you, try and make amends with your mother and read salah daily and stay clean always,Respect yourself r!
    Women should respect their bodies and stay away from people who try and manipulate you into having s**,it's haram before marriage.
    Don't go back to your fiance because he has used you too and you will always be used if you keep going back to people who have had s** with you. One should respect their body, your body was not made to use and abuse.
    You are young and need to learn from these lessons that before marriage we should stay clean always, no matter what. Pray daily and start fresh with a new yOu who is more respEctful by staying clEan and cOnstantly prAyiNg to Allah swt ,also ask your mother for forgiveness and become a decent person. Practice Islam and be patient God forgives everyone has long as you repent from the bottom of your heart and never do such acts again.
    Also you keep going on and on about your fiance but you need to able to understand that no one wants a easy disrespectful person, who has no self respect.
    Change your number and change your attitude and your ways become a person who prays and follows the path of Islam properly. Anyways lots of people here have given you good advice and only you can take their good advice and become a better cleaner person by letting go of the past and believing in The Almighty, things will settle down in few months if you just change your ways and become a cleaner, better,respectful, religious and a calmer person with faith and trust in Allah swt.
    Allah bless you and guide you in the right path of Islam, Ameen.

  42. Inshallah you will be ok, focus on repenting right now. I hope you find someone who accepts everything about you leaving no room for your sister to ruin anything inshallah

  43. insha allah i ll strive hard to make myself a good person.thanks for everyone for ur advices

  44. is there any dua when we feel lone and depressed.

  45. Assalamu alaikum,

    Sister! your story is a sad one. Even though you committed sin of zina, the society and even your family should not have treated you the way they did. People are hypocrites you know. So many people commit these kinds and even greater sins but seem to condemn anyone that openly admits to his guilt. Allah forgives all sins no matter how heavy the sin is.
    I expect your sister (if truly she is your sister) to at least blame her husband and you but not you alone for the act that took place. Is she also a Muslim? Why would she forgive her husband only and not the two of you and also wants to see that you don't get married. What kind of society do you have that people are happy carrying tales of wrong doings of others. which country is this. People should learn to say only good things or keep quite.

    I suggest you repent sincere as Allah is all forgiving of all sins. Continue your studies and move on with your life.
    This is a temporary disappointment which you can correct by being strong and prayerful and then move on. You can also move to another location where you have relatives so that these things will be off your mind because the more you see these people the more it pains. When you are relieved you can then come back.

    Above all have faith in Allah and pray to him fervently and in sha Allah all will be well.

  46. my parents stopped my studies.well im planning to move from my town .insha allah.

  47. the tragedic memories makes me feel so bad.its paining so much..i cant do anything.besides that sitting in the same room makes me even more worse.i know everything is happening is a consequences of my sin.but its too paining.thinking about how i became this much bad makes me feel so horrible.

    • Sister ,

      As said before if you repent sincerely to Allah and never commit those sins in life again then Allah will forgive you . With time these things will be out of memories and things will return to normal insha allah ..Foccus yourself to become a good muslimah and join some islamic courses .

  48. is there any speciality for asking dua during rain

    • yes sister.

      There is speciality for dua during rainfall.

      In fact there is an authentic Hadith that says the doors of heaven are open during rainfall and we are recommended to say '' Allahumma sayyiban nafi'an'' and make lots of dhikr and ask of anyhing from Allah and it will be answered. Which country are writing from as i know there isnt much rainfall in the middle east.

      Other best times to pray are;
      1. Just close to fajr like 1hr to 30 mins b4 salaat time as we are told that Allah descends down to the lower heavens and answers prayers at that time.
      2. After fajr before sunrise.
      3. Just before maghrib prayer.
      4. In sujud.
      5. After adhan before iqama etc.

      There are so many good times but the most important is to persist in prayer and never despair. U can write to me if you want more preferred times of prayer.

      • Brother ,

        Can you please provide reference from Quran or Hadith about your comment that doors of heaven are open during rainfall ?

  49. thankyou for the from india.its raining here

  50. Dear brother,

    This is the parayer in arabic text "اللَّهُمَّ صَيِّبًا نَافِعًا
    check the book of dua the fortress of the muslim and you will see it. Also check sahih Bukhari hadith No. 1032.

    Also see the following Hadith;
    Narrated Sahel Ibn Sa'ad (RA): that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: 'Two will not be rejected, Supplication when the Adhan (call of prayer) is being called, and at the time of the rain'. [Al-Hakim 2: 114, and Abu Dawud #2540, ibn Majah]

    May Allah guide us all.

  51. im having a doubt.forgive me if my doubt is wrong.everything is going to happen according to the fate which was already written.then why we have to ask dua

    • It would be best for you to read some articles or even a book about Qadar. I will summarize as follows: not everything is predetermined. Major events that happen to you without your choice are predetermined (time and place of your birth, natural disasters, accidents and illnesses that you cannot control, etc). As for your own deeds, those are within your own agency or choice. You have the choice whether to do good or evil. Finally, Dua' can change even that Qadar which is destined or determined. Dua' is very powerful.

      Wael Editor

    • Dear sister,

      Im surprised that you are having doubts. You have to check your iman or may be you are not versed in tauheed.
      Remember the first articles of faith in islam for muslims are tauheed and belief in Allah that He alone can do and undo. Therefore, if you truly believe in Allah then you are to turn to Him sincerely beyond any doubt and pray to only Him alone.

  52. Assalam alaikum,

    I briefly reviewed the comments after reading your post. I was very disturbed by some of the things people wrote to you.

    If your sister's husband was influencing you when you were 12, then this is abuse. This not only was him taking advantage of you and hurting you psychologically, but it was a great way to manipulate you to gain certain power over you. If people do not understand that, it is NOT your burden.

    Back to zina, it should be clear to you that any relationship outside of marriage between two people is haram. You can't change the past, but you can change your future decisions. Get counselling. You need to work through this. Even **if** you were to blame all along, you are here seeking help and that is what each and everyone of us required to do.

    Once you realize what has happened to you and with you over the last few years, you will be able to figure out what you need to do in the future. It is very difficult to decide how to fix the future when the past is still broken and harming us.

    May Allah swt guide you, ease your pain and help you and forgive you and make you better in your faith and actions, Ameen, thummah Ameen.

    • "If your sister's husband was influencing you when you were 12, then this is abuse. This not only was him taking advantage of you and hurting you psychologically, but it was a great way to manipulate you to gain certain power over you. If people do not understand that, it is NOT your burden."

      I fully agree. May Allah reward you.

      Wael Editor

  53. my ex fiance is still disturbing me .i blocked him.but he is calling in home preparing for an exam to move to ex fiancee got engaged with another girl before 1 week.but he is calling totally disturbed.i realised my mistake and i dont want to do any mistake in future.i started praying ex-fiance is a liar.because he lied to me that he is having brain tumour to gain my sympathy and concern also he is smart because he published my mistakes to everyone in my and also his family.but he hided his mistake.he didnt say that he comitted zina with me to nobody.anyway i also ask dua for him.i made my mind clear let him marry that girl and be happy.allah will show me a way for life.but i dont know why he is disturbing me now.sorry mohamed for my doubt.because im confused .thanks saba for ur advice.but i cant understand what is gaining certain power over me

  54. mohammed as u said i asked dua during rain.its still raining here.since i have done many mistakes will allah hear my dua or not.i feel so shame .because of my ex-fiance is going to get married .it pains me.but allah has punished only because of my mistakes.will allah forgive me and bless me.sometimes my mind says me i want to live a good life before the people who has cursed me and destroyed me.sometimes my mind says why should i live.i started helping my parents always cries for me and ask dua for me to give me a good and happy parents wants me to live before the persons who has destroyed my life like my sister husband and also father is a lawyer and he is so religious .he sometimes says that i disclosed my past only to my ex-fiance.i not even said anything to my parents .but my ex-fiancee published my father says if he was a good person he should not have do this you.what he did is also wrong,so forget him.allah will surely bless u my child and gives u a good for your father used to advice me like thisi need advice to overcome this hard situation.somebody help me pls

    • Dear sister,

      Yes Allah forgives all sins and accepts our prayers. Allah has desribed Himself in various parts of the Quran as most forgiving and most merciful.
      He specifically mentioned forgiveness from zina in the following Allah;

      "And those who, when they have committed Fahishah (illegal sexual intercourse etc.) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allâh and ask forgiveness for their sins; - and none can forgive sins but Allâh - And do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know." (Aali Imran 3:135)

      Allah also said about forgiveness in the following verses:

      "And whoever does evil or wrongs himself but afterwards seeks Allâh's forgiveness, he will find Allâh Oft­Forgiving, Most Merciful." (An-Nisa 4:110)

      "And seek the forgiveness of Allâh,[] certainly, Allâh is Ever Oft­Forgiving, Most Merciful". (An-Nisa 4:106)
      "Will they not repent to Allâh and ask His forgiveness? For Allâh is Oft­Forgiving, Most Merciful". (Al-Ma'idah 5:74)

      "And ask forgiveness of your Lord and turn unto Him in repentance. Verily, my Lord is Most Merciful, Most Loving." (Hud 11:90)

      There are so many verses of the Quran that shows how forgiving Allah is no matter the quantunm of sin but what is required is sincere repentance.

      So do not despair but put your trust in Allah.

  55. If I was in your shoes I would run away live far far away and loose their contact forever. I swear wallah. Because your family are never going to accept u after what they see you did. So just go and be strong there's so many support out there.

  56. after writing my problem here i changed myself a lot.i started praying .i used to read one chapter of quran with meaning father who hated me first is now very affectionate with me .i have passed the exam .now i applied for the visa to move to canada.everything was smooth till ex-fiance is going to get married next week.his father and my ex-fiance is going to all my relative house to give the cards and telling about my past to everyone.they are giving cards to mosque member and saying wrong about father is so religious he is crying always to allah to give me a good ex-fiance called me in landline and told me that he is missing me.i have scolded him and i cut the phone.i didnt say to anyone that we both had sex.he is going to marry another girl.he is not having any guilt.its ok.but why they are publishing my pAST

    • Alhamdulillah, I'm glad to be hearing that your doing better spiritually, and keeping up with your prayers, reading quran, etc. 🙂 And it's also good to hear that you are passing your exams and having a better relationship with your dad.

      About your fiance's actions: there really is nothing you can do about it. Unfortunately, this is a consequence of the previous actions which had occurred between you and him. But don't stress -- what happened happened, put the past behind you. Keep supplicating to Allah, and trust that He(swt) will cover you and not expose your sins the way this man is trying to do.

      -Good luck, and wishing you the best-

    • Dear Sister,

      Do not listen or talk to your ex-fiancee again. Just like a brother said there is nothing you can do about it. You just have to live with it. Keep ignoring him. He never really loved you. He was only interested in your body and that is what most girls construe as love.

      Sister, the next advice i have for you is to deepen your religious knowledge and be closer to Allah. If eventually you make it to Canada please maintain only Muslims as your close friends as there are lot of indecencies in that kind of country. You don't escape from your country only to find yourself in a country where indecent behaviour is the common thing there. Try to visit the local masjid (mosque) a lot there so that you keep your chastity. If not you will be carried away by their lifestyle.


      • Dear sister,

        I have read this post now around 2 years later from when it was posted, and may be you will never read my comment, after I was going through a very hard time with my break up, but reading about your story I am very much saddened by the fact that sometimes people tend to forget that Allah is watching at all times.
        It is very shameful of your brother in law to exploit you and for your sister to not take a stand, but a word goes out to your ex-fiance that he too has forgotten that he had "intercourse" with you before nikah and had committed the very same act that he left you for. If he would have been in love with you, he would have forgiven you and would have accepted you. Well it is not for me to judge or criticize anyone, but I pray for you from the bottom of my heart and all my Dua go out to you. I hope that you would one day find true eternal love happiness and peace.

        Your brother

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