Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My Unforgiven Sins

path door heaven hell

Assalamualikum my dear brothers and sisters. I'm an 18 year old Muslim guy from a big city in the USA. So, throughout my teenage years, I have been committing major sins. I been in Haram relationships and it was mostly involved with physical relations as well but no intercourse. As I'm growing older, my sexual temptation is becoming stronger. I'm pretty much drowned in my despair. I feel ashamed and guilty for my sins that I have been committing repeatedly. I pray 5 times a day but I still commit major sexual sins and I feel like I should be punished for everytime I sin. Therefore, when I go to bed, I punish myself by putting my hands into the heater. I know I'm not going to be forgiven for my same repeated sins. There is no hope for me, not anymore...I might have a chance to go in the hell fire.


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7 Responses »

  1. Wa 'alaikum as-salaam warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh my dear little Brother,

    Please take it easy on yourself. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is our Creator, and He is very well aware of our weaknesses, as He says in the Holy Quran:

    ''Allah intends to lighten your burden, for the human being was created weak.''
    (Quran 4: 28)

    Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says again:

    "..."O My servants who have transgressed against themselves: do not despair of Allah's mercy, for Allah forgives all sins. He is indeed the Forgiver, the Clement." And turn to your Lord, and submit to Him, before the retribution comes upon you. Then you will not be helped.''
    (Quran 39: 53-54)

    Again when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala mentioned the punishments for the wrong-doers, He went further to say:

    ''Except for those who repent, and believe, and do good deeds. These--Allah will replace their bad deeds with good deeds. Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful. Whoever repents and acts righteously--has inclined towards Allah with repentance.''
    (Quran 25:70-71)

    So my Brother, do not despair of Allah's mercy, for Allah forgives all sins. He is indeed the Forgiver, the Clement.

    It's true that sins are difficult to be avoided at once, however, one can be successful if they practice to avoid them gradually. Examine yourself and find out the things that motivate you to fall into the sins and then make a schedule to avoid those things step by step while you continue to ask forgiveness, mercy, and guidance of Allah each time.

    Also, spend all your days in learning and practicing the deen (such as reading the Holy Quran and Ahaadith, learning a new Sunnah, fasting-Sunnah on Mondays and Thursdays, listening to Islamic lectures, and being in the company of good Muslim friends--plus praying at the masjid and making good friends over there), and doing things that are meant for creating your successful future (such as studying, reading, and working). As you may also explore new hobbies to occupy your free times with.

    Hope this helps inshaAllah, and Allah knows best.

  2. Asalaam Walaikum Brother please stop punishing yourself as Self Harm is haraam and it achieves nothing as you clearly still feel hopeless.

    As Muslims we are taught never to lose hope in the Mercy of Allah SWT, Allah Forgives everything if you repent with Sincerity and make intention to never commit the sin again. And if you commit the sin again, Repent once again and keep repenting this is the cycle of life, we all slip but we must never forget the Mercy of Allah.

    The fact you feel so low shows you still have love for Allah in your heart so don't lose hope brother as this is all that the Shaytaan wants And never give up on praying Salah either.

    Repent and move onto greater things Insha'Allah. May Allah guide You, I and the Ummah to Goodness.

  3. Start doing some important work , like involve urself with ur study very well, try to be famous, just engage urself in a very important issue. Don't watch bad or porno movie, or try to develop/build your personality very strong so that u don't look at girls , do not engage ur self with useless talks etc. This is a teaching that once learnt by anyone can change that person totally. Remember Almighty has said in Quran that if a human prays 5 times , perform Hajj or fulfill all Islamic rituals by completing the 5 pillars of Islam , his all religious activities will not be accepted by Allah if he does not do Jihad. Now this Jihad is the real Jihad , that is to strive against your eveil desire and doings... So always think about logic and socialize ur self . And most important ,,, Always recite Auzubillah himinashshaytanir rajim..... because Shaytan is the number one culprit to misguide muslims , don't follow Shaytaan's path .. Always follow Allah's path who has been so kind to u.. If He wished He could punish u at once , after every sin u committed , immediately He could punish u severely , but He din't . So be patient about ur desire and lust.

  4. there's worse people and evil people in this world.

    STOP being hard on yourself. Repent and inshAllah it will get better. You should fast and keep yourself busy maybe even join the gym. The other thing I could say is maybe consider getting married once you have dealt with the inner problem with yourself.

  5. Wa'alaikumusalam!

    Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) Is the Forgiver of sins. Don't underestimate Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala). Repent and insha'Allaah you will be forgiven. Amen!

    Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) knows the best.

  6. Salatul Tasbih

    For forgiveness of All Sins

    Benefits of Salat-Ul-Tasbih
    Our Beloved Prophet Mohammed (Sallallaho Alihiwassallam) said to his uncle (father’s brother) Sayyiduna Abbass (may Allah be pleased with him) Oh uncle shall I not give you Shall I not grant you Shall I not award you Shall I not do mercy on you When you do 10 things Allah will forgive your sins: of the future and of the past; new and old; those you have forgotten and those you did knowingly; big and small; hidden and revealed. Then he (Sallallaho Alihiwassallam) explained the taught the way to pray Salatul Tasbih and then said if you can pray this salah once a day, if you can not pray once a day then every Friday, and even if this is not possible then once a month and even if this is not possible then once a year and even if this is not possible then at least once in a lifetime (Abu’Dawood & Tirimzi)

    How to perform Salatul Tasbih?
    This salaat (namaz) is offered in four rakat at a time and can be read in any part of the day and night besides Zawal and Sunrise and Sunset makrooh times, keeping in mind the forbidden times for performing Salat (namaaz). But is is preferred before Zuhr (Fatawa Alamgeeri)

    The Tasbih to be read in Salaat-Ul-Tasbeeh:
    " Subhaan Allahi Wal Hamdulillahi Wa Laa ilaha illal Laahu Wallahu Akbar "

    Goal is to recite above Tasbih 300 times in Four Rakah with the following method.
    In the first rakaat, after reading Sana "Subhaana Kallahumma...", read the above tasbih 15 times.
    Now recite Aaoz "Aoozubillah...", Bismillah "Bismillah...", Then read sura Fatiha and a Surah or minimum of three small Ayayhs then read the tasbih 10 times again.
    Go to ruku saying Takbeer (Allah Hoo Akbar), after reciting "Subhaana Rabbiyal Azeem" minimum of three times read the tasbih 10 times in Ruku.
    Saying "Samee Allahu Liman Hamidah Rabbana Lakal Hamdh" get up from ruku to qiyam position.
    Now read the tasbih 10 times.
    Go to Sajdah saying Takbeer (Allah Hoo Akbar) and after reciting "Subhaana Rabbiyal A'la" minimum of three times read the tasbih 10 times in Sajdah.
    Now go after first Sajdah go to Jalsa (sitting position) saying Takbeer (Allah Hoo Akbar). Sitting in Jalsa read tasbih 10 times.
    Go to sajda again saying Takbeer (Allah Hoo Akbar) and after reciting "Subhaana Rabbiyal A'la" minimum of three times read the tasbih 10 times in Sajdah again.
    Get up to begin 2nd rakat saying Takbeer (Allah Hoo Akbar).
    Do rakah #2 in same fashion, but before reading Bismillah "Bismillah...", and Surah Fatiha, read the tasbih 15 times. Follow the rest as you did in first Rakat.
    After second Sajdah of Second Rakat sit in Qaidah Oola (first sitting) read Attahiyat, Durood and Dua then get up for 3rd rakaat without saying Salam.
    Begin third Rakat, just like the first Rakat, with Sana "Subhaana Kallahumma...", read the above tasbih 15 times. Follow the rest as you did in first Rakat untill you sit for Qaidah Akihra (last sitting) after second sajdah of fourth Rakah.
    In Qaidah Akihra Attahiyat, Durood, Dua finish Salah with Salam.

    Special notes for Salat-Ul-Tasbih:
    1) Do not count loudly. It will break Salah
    2) Do not count on fingers or by holding a Bead Tasbih in hand. It is Makruh.
    3) You may count by pressing the fingers as a reminder. For example if you are in Ruku. You me press pinky of your right hand first for the first count, then the finger next to it for second count, then the middle finger for third count, following this method untill you reach the pinky of left hand will give you an exact count of ten. Use the same method in Qayam, Sajdah and Jalsa.
    4) If missed a count then make it up in the next posture. For example if forgot to recite Tasbih after Surah in Qayam. Then you may recite Tasbish 20 times instead of 10 in Rukuh after "Subhaana Rabbiyal Azeem". Missed Tasbih cannot be recited in Qayam after ruku and Jalsa between Sajdah. If you missed the Tasbih in Ruku then recite 20 in the first Sajdah instead of the Qayam after rukuh. Similarly if missed the Tasbih in first Sajdah then do not make it up in Jalsa. Instead recite missed tasbih in the second Sajdah. If Tasbih has been missed in last sajdah of second or fourth Rakah then you can recite the missed ones before Attahiyat in Qaidah.
    5) If you miss a wajib in Salah and have to do Sajdah Sahaw. You dont have to recite Tasbih in Sajdah sahoo, since the 300 count has been estalished. But if you had missed Tasbih in any of the postures and remeber it now. Then you may recite the missed Tasbih in Sajdah Sahaw now.
    6) It is preferable to recite after Surah Fatiha Sura Takathuur in the first raka’, Surah Wal A’sr in the second raka’, Surah Kaferoon (qul ya aiyuhal Kafiroon) in the third and Surah Akhlas (Qul hu Allah-hu ahd) in the fourth raka’. If one does not remember these surah they can recite the ones they prefer.

    May Allah accept this dua’ (supplication) for the sake of the trustworthy PROPHET MOHAMMED (Allah’s Grace & Peace be upon him)

  7. A.O.A Brother
    I read this and I am also suffering from this problem but alhumdillah I have not kept an illegal relationship nor had any sexual contact. one of the best ways is to:

    1: Don't stay alone. try to be in public more often
    2: Whenever you have an erection, go do ghusl. Erections mostly increase the need to masturbate
    3: Don't be in an area with more females then lessno males
    4: Whenever you feel like watching something haram like pornography, Think that what would you feel if you had a wifedaughterboth and someone is looking at them naked. You will feel angry now will you?
    5: Try to be in the state of ghusl (Clean and able to start prayer) Most of the time
    6: Whenever there is a female crossing by with her parts exposed, lower your gaze. dont look at her at all. look at something else and ignore her.

    There are many more tips i don't know of but these are the best i know
    hope this helps.

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