Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My wife committed adultery

couple in islam, woman in islam

My wife has committed adultery. However, she says she has repented, and vows never to do it again. I have recorded her nude pictures and videos with that guy. Recently I showed her nude pictures to her parents, aunt, uncle and her grandma because they didn't believe me. I also told my parents about her adultery. Have I done anything bad by showing her nude pictures and videos to them? Am I allowed to do that in Islam? I don't want to leave her now but her parents is telling her to give me divorce just because I showed them those pictures. My wife keeps crying all day now because she thinks everyone hates her. What should I do now?


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44 Responses »

  1. Your act is very wrong. She is still your wife and you owe her respect. Every human commits mistakes. What matters is she repented for the sins she made. My advice to you is to make a stand As her husband against your family. She deserves a second chance.

  2. Why did you get other family members involved when she repented and vowed never to do it again! Your marriage is between her and you and no one really knows or will understand what's going on outside of you two. It was very very wrong to show anyone her "nude" pictures and videos!! You have shamed her, and if she has asked for forgiveness for her sin then Allah may have forgiven her, which means you've committed a big sin. How embarrassing for her. To have her pictures shown about and to so many people. You need to go and ask for her forgiveness and that of her parents!! My, it's no wonder her parents told her to divorce you. What if someone did this to your daughter or sister? Why didn't you think how she would feel!? I don't know why men think it's ok to degrade women. If you had concealed her sin maybe Allah will conceal yours on the day of judgement.

  3. Brother YOU SHOWED NUDE PICTURES OF YOUR WIFE 😮 you must have done this all in a shear anger bt still you must have thot abt before actually doing it..

    Anyhow if she cries all the time and if you are noticing a change in her like she is remorseful, crying in sujood, avoid facing her family members and keeping herself alone.. etc

    Then she must be feeling sorry.. you might give her a second chance.
    Plus please many husbands forget to give attention to their wives. try figuring out where you failed to provide any necessity, where you lacked? Be a Man accept your faults too if you feel there are any..

    Moreover take a time to talk to her and be gentle with her, ask her abt where you lacked and why she did this.Try to understand watever she says by putting urself in her shoes or you shud ask other females what can possibly be their take.

    Do not haste in giving her a divorce.

    may Allah ease your Pain
    Jazak Allah

  4. Assalam alaikum,

    Only you can be the judge of your circumstances and whether you perceive that your wife was indeed a changed woman.

    At the point that you had evidence of her cheating and doing wrong, you had the choice to warn her, tell her to stop, take actions to get her to stop including making her go to counselling and/or joining her OR let her go.

    No, you should never show a nude picture of anyone to someone else, especially your wife even if you were 110% correct. There was nothing to gain from it. If you were sure of what you did, you didn't need the support of others. Had you shown her and warned her, that would have been enough OR simply knowing that Allah knows should have been enough.

    She needs to seek forgiveness and you should also seek forgiveness by showing her nude pictures and video.

    Listen to one another openly and once the both of you thoroughly discuss what happened, don't discuss what she did or what you did again. Start from scratch. BUT, if you can't forgive and she can't let go of what happened, then the both of you should decide if staying together is right. If the both of you want to stay together, STOP involving your parents or hers. You need to draw a line and get the privacy in your marriage back.

    May Allah swt ease your pain and help you to move forward from this very difficult time, Ameen.

  5. OP:I have recorded her nude pictures and videos with that guy.

    What do you mean you have recorded her pictures with a guy? While she was committing adultery which is a sin you stand there recording her? instead of stopping her?

    Or did you use some kind of spy camera

  6. You completely shamed your wife in front of her entire family; of course she's going to be crying all day long!

    Yes she did wrong...but as a husband and a muslim you should have kept a parda on her...and instead you did the opposite...

    I don't understand ppl who do this...unless you really hate your wife...even then I wouldn't have been able to do something like that...just imagine,...would you have liked it if someone exposed your secrets to the whole world like that..??

    I don't know what to say to you...except good luck.

  7. Salam...

    She cheated, and feels bad...
    You showed haram nude pics to the world (broke your wedding vows by betraying her) but dont feel bad...
    You should be feeling shame brother... you two are equal now.
    Please repent to Allah swt and work on fixing this relationship. First thing you need to do is go to the people you showed pics and ask forgiveness. Next get yourselves into relationship counselling, because its going to take a lot more than flowers to fix this situation.

    I pray things work out,
    Shereen

    • How come Adulterous and a person who erred by showing those pictures equal ? Stop this non sense comparison .

      In some culture if he he gives divorce relatives of wife will make life hell for the husband . Even if he tells them i am divorcing because of this reason nobody will believe him .Even her family will blame him for wrong accusation as daughter can't go wrong for them .

      He might have done this error in extreme mental tension and surroundings .His fault is not as severe compare to his wife who has slept with other man .

      Her tears seems to be because of shame in society and not because of fear of Allah .

      I suggest this brother to Divorce her as it is not good to keep adulterous wife under nikah .She might sleep again . There is hadith which talks against cuckold husband as he will not have mercy on the day of judgement ...Divorce is the best solution under such cases .

      Shocked to see some sisters above who are taking her Zina as minor mistake and asking to give chance ..Zina is not a small sin ..please remember ...

      • I understand what your saying that her family may have made his life hell and pushed him to the limit making him expose her. And it's not just husbands who go through that, my husband cheated on me but my in laws despite me verbally telling them still blamed me for the mess and refused to believe me. I actually refrained from showing them the evidence I had eventhough it wasn't anything explicit because I felt bad for my husband. In fact I didn't even tell his family about him committing Zina initially, my family did and that was after his family still blamed me and continued to put me down whilst glorifying their son! But even members of my family don't know the full extent of what he got up to, they know he committed Zina because I was a mess when I found out, but I controlled myself enough to prevent exposing him fully. No one needs to know the full details, and there's absolutely no need to stoop down to the same level as the person whose cheated and show nudity to prove your point.

        About divorce, again I can understand what your saying. Once a cheater always a cheater, but everyone thinks differently. For some people it's a deal breaker, which is fine. But for others especially if the spouse is remorseful they can forgive and try to rebuild the trust. It's a personal choice. In this case we don't have many details about the marriage, so it's difficult to really advise about divorce.

        • Sister Bucks ,

          Sorry to hear your problems . I feel you should have given them back . I think you should give Tit for Tat reply .Nothing wrong Islamically also ..Eye for an Eye kind of response is the better reply in your case ..
          To initial extent it is OK to hide his actions but when water crosses the head it is always better to expose the spouse as in subcontinent culture marriage involves two families and big headache to get a divorce and you are not left with any option but to expose the sin of other guy ..

          I feel sorry for your case .I have seen your replies helping others in more sensible manner and your inclination towards the religion .I think your ex husband will be a big looser now .I wish you good in life..

          And in OP's case i think he should divorce as it is already a spoiled relationship where not only she has cheated but he has also exposed her because of her mistake ..There is no point in continuing life with Zaani ...

          • I really wish I could have the same mindset as you, i wouldn't be punishing myself the way that I am. Pls keep me in your duas.

      • You are right. We can't compare these sins and in fact, we shouldn't compare them. Neither of these sins is minor indeed.

        Allah swt could choose to forgive this woman and her husband or forgive only her or forgive only him or forgive neither of them. And IF ALLAH swt chooses to do any of those, it is His choice. After all, He is Allah. He is the One that is All-Knowing and He is the One that would be the best Judge of who is sincere and who is not.

        As for divorce, yes, it is an option for him, but it is also him that knows best under the circumstances what would be best.

        May Allah help these two people by bestowing His Mercy on them and bestowing His Mercy on us as well. We may be hopeful for His Justice, but in the end, it will be His Mercy that will save any of us.

        • Really strange that exposing the reason is made out as a biger sin than the actual sin of zina here(by some other posters here ) . ..

          What people expect him ? To get beaten up by family of girl for divorcing such a pious woman , sent him to jail , give money to her and still keep his mouth shut and not talk about actual reason ??

          If the brother is sensible he should straight away divorce her and finish this chapter from his life ...

          • Perfectly said. I have also cited hadeeth but my comment has been removed. Repent is the most abused word by women especially in western world.

          • What is really strange is that you have decided that her sin is unforgivable in the eyes of Allah swt and that his sin is forgivable. No one can say that a major sin will absolutely and irrevocably not be forgiven and that a minor sin will be. People who commit minor sins and believe that they will be forgiven have NO such guarantee. Not a single human. It is one thing to start classifying sins, but it is entirely another thing to start certifying what Allah's swt decision will be. We ARE NOT here to decide what will happen in the end.

            And there is no need to get all dramatic and say that he will be beaten up by the family--there was no indication of that. The husband doesn't want to give divorce and that is HIS choice--the hadith that people are mentioning has to do with the husband ALLOWING or PERMITTING his wife to continue in this way, not if she is changed and sincere--which only he can decide.

            About a week or two ago a woman wrote about her cheating husband and how he disclosed his numerous affairs and she didn't indicate that he was remorseful, yet there were hardly 2 or 3 replies. There was no uproar for her to divorce and in fact, there was even a suggestion that she shouldn't.

            And whether the brother is sensible or not is not going to be decided on whether he divorces but on how he deals with his affairs with justice, even in the moment that injustice was done to him. Allah swt does not say that we should fix one wrong thing by committing another wrong thing--so NO, showing her nude pictures and videos to her parents, aunt, uncle and grandmother was not just not needed, but WRONG. Yes, he can divorce her for what she did was a grave sin, but there is no way it was ok to show her nude pictures and videos to other people.

            The OP has asked regarding showing her nude pictures/video: "Am I allowed to do that in Islam?" The answer is NO, it is wrong. For those of you suggesting otherwise, you have to answer for that yourself and are solely responsible for that wrongful advice. Do not say that Islam allows this. Period.

          • Saba ,hadith is clear .a adulterous wife can not be in nikah for a good muslim ...if man is doing zina then wife has right to ask for divorce ...Zina is hated for both ..but the way it was concluded his error of exposing sin is bigger than her zina is shocking ...nobody knows allah will forgive which sin that means you will put people with worst sins on the top saying there is no guaranty for smaller sin to be forgiven ? I suggest brother to divorce n finish this chapter ..

          • Kindly read the following:

            The word dayyuth was mentioned in a number of hadiths; one of them was narrated by Imam Ahmad in which the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said: “Allah has prohibited three (kinds of) people from entering Paradise: the drunkard, the one who is ungrateful to his parents, and the dayyuth who sees sin committed by his female relatives, yet doesn’t become jealous.”

            Ammar ibn Yaser (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Three will never enter Paradise: the dayyuth, the woman who acts like men, and the drunkard.” The Companions asked, “O Allah’s Messenger, we know what is meant by the drunkard, but who is the dayyuth?” He (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Who doesn’t care to know who goes to his folk.” The Companions added, “Who is the woman that acts like men?” He (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “She is the one who imitates men.”

            According to the explanation of the hadith reported by `Abdullah Ibn `Amr, dayyuth is the one who allows his female relatives to sin. Ibn Manzur said, “The dayyuth is the one who doesn’t feel jealous towards his family.”

            You have however clearly defended the OP in showing the nude pictures and videos of his wife and you have not outright said it is wrong. He has asked a question, if you READ his post as to whether what he did was right Islamically. It would be nice if people actually focus and answer his question--but they are bent on measuring sins. So, if you do care to answer, is it right to show nude pictures/video to her mother, father, aunt, uncle and grandmother? I suppose the grandmother was going to beat him up if he didn't show those things to her either?

            The OP's questions were:
            "Have I done anything bad by showing her nude pictures and videos to them? Am I allowed to do that in Islam?"

            So please kindly inform us if this is allowed. If so, please support it with hadith the way you have supported your other arguments with the dayyuth hadith.

            And it is has been you that has repeatedly said whose sin is greater. If you read what I have, actually read it, you would see what I meant to convey, but it doesn't appear that you are interested in reading, so I will end this conversation here.

          • Saba ,I think you have problem in reading ..I have described his act as error ..read my first post in this site ..I have strongly written against comparing these two sins as her zina is biggest compare to his error ....if you go by logic zina has highest punishment in the world compare to other smaller sins ..so your defence of bigger sins saying we never know our smaller sins will be forgiven or no doesn't make any sense ..because you never knkw about allah decision ...can i tell a judge please forgive some one because his sin of raping ,murdering might have been forgiven by allah and allah
            ?only people here are using it to feel ok kind of stuff when they do the zina or similar biggest sin ...

          • No one here has denied one time that adultery is a big sin. Not one person. He did not ask for advice on adultery. He asked if what he did was wrong, and yes it was absolutely 100% wrong. he should have kept his relationship between him and his wife. If he chose to involve her parents there is no reason to show nude pictures and videos. This is also dishonorable. There was no reason to involve anyone else, period.

            Also, nawabzada sat here and said forgiveness is over used---who are you to judge that??? Allah may have forgiven her...how do we know He hasn't? did you speak with Him? don't make judgement calls. In islam we take what someone says for face value. Especially us looking in from outside in this case. If brother (the husband) here doesn't believe her, that is another story, and he can also do istikharrah to see if she is truly remorseful or not. Allah, inshaaAllah will guide him properly and to the truth.

            As for divorce, a word thrown around like its comparable to going out and buying a cupcake, that is a decision they both have to work out. It is no doubt incredibly hurtful to see a spouse cheat, and to have physical proof like videos and photos...Allah have mercy.

            but in this case you guys need counseling and preferably from a muslim mediator/imam. See what is the root of the problem. It is true that women are more willing to forgive, even adultery, than men. This is because men value physical attraction and sex and women go after the spiritual and personality. but it is a decision you guys have to make based on the deen and personal relationship.

            Good luck bro

          • Bro Lights ,

            In Islam door of repentance are always open but always there is punishment for sins .

            Just going by face value is not for every case .For example if some body declares a shahadah just go by his external declaration and don't be suspicious about that person but if some body commits heinous crimes and then say i have repented then that repentance is between him an Allah but in this world he will get Islamic punishment .

            If just repentance was enough then why islam has strict punishment for Zina ,Murder ,rape etc ? Can some body says i have repented now and escaped from punishment with the same logic like Allah might have forgiven my bigger sins compare to your smaller ones? No .Islam has punishment for zina ,murder in this world even if he has repented .

            Say if some one commits murder ,rape and then he says i have repented .Then you will say OK boss I am going by your face value and i will ask judge not to punish him for his actions .Will that logic work ?

            There will consequences for your action .

            These excessive theory of forgiveness should not be used to accept adulterous wife in the nikah ..Best reaction will be the divorce under such cases and she will remember that always there will be negative reaction for bad deeds .

          • there is no way to keep a wife committing adultery....you have no choice but divorce.... adultery is such a crime that even shakes the throne of ALLAH.A man keeping an adulterer wife is as sinful as her....in fact Hadith says that ALLAH will forgive every sin but not adultery.so he must divorce her even if they have children...cz she may lead his children to the way of immorality...u r ryt sis....once a cheater always a cheater!!!

    • Shereen your response sounds like your blaming the husband more than the wife. He's not the one who broke the marriage vows, his wife did! He reacted in a bad way, and did something he never should have, which he needs to repent for. But I don't think it makes them equal. He should apologise etc but she also needs to regain his trust and apologise sincerely for what she has done. Just because the husband exposed her it doesn't let her off the hook! She's humiliated hence the tears, remorse etc. If she wasn't commuting Zina in the first place none of this would have happened. indont know the full details of the marriage, but just based on what he has written the wife is the source of all this mess. If she hadn't committed Zina, her husband would not have fished around for evidence including videos, he would not have become hurt and angry and made the horriblr mistake of exposing her so badly to her family. The wife did this to herself, but the husband unfortunately reacted very wrongfully. I can relate to the husband, I would never stoop as low as exposing nude pictures of anyone but believe me, I did everything in my power to get as much evidence As i could of my husbands cheating. I needed to know, and some of the things were so explicit verbally not picture form that it killed me. And in my moments of weakness all I wanted to do was forward those emails to everyone including his parents, siblings, friends, work colleagues - EVERYONE! I wanted the world to see what he got up to behind my back. I wanted to humiliate him and watch him suffer just like I was. But somehow j managed to refrain from telling my family the full details, and obviously didn't forward any emails. But the funny thing is those emails still got forwarded to his brother by the woman, for compeltly different reasons, not to help me. Either way he got exposed but not because of me. But his family still didn't care, they still blamed me!!! And he and this woman (to this day I don't know how he got her to help him) managed to twist the scenario and make me look like the bad guy. He still got away with it, but at least I don't have to carry the burden of exposing his sins. It's his mess, not mine.

      • Golden,

        I'm a sister not a bro. And your being illogical. I'm pretty sure societal law is different from personal problems. Islam is just and someone who is a danger to society will not have same outcomes. Also there is no calipha to make these decisions. So shariah doesn't apply here.

        However we do know shaytan is happiest when divorce happens. You seem like a very harsh decision maker. Very black and white and that is not always the case. None the less the decision is up to them not us. Decision is his and quite frankly he didn't ask us if he should get divorced. It looks like he's staying with his wife. He asked a whole other question.

        May Allah have mercy upon us all.

  8. Salaam, sorry to hear about your situation.

    I must admit I can understand the anger and hurt you must have felt when you realised your wife was cheating on you and quite often we do or say things in these circumstances which we later regret. I do feel however that you overstepped the line by showing nude pictures of her. I think that's quite revolting and God forbid if I ever saw images of a close one like that it would scar me for life. I can't even begin to imagine the humiliation your wife must be experiencing. I don't think you should ever show nude pictures of anyone let alone your own wife. You should ask for forgiveness from Allah swt but also from her and her family,

    Having said that your wife is no angel. There is no justification for how she has behaved. From what your saying it seems she feels remorse for her behaviour, either that or she's feeling sorry for herself because she's been caught. Either way, you know your wife better than anyone so it's your decision whether you want the marriage to continue. If you do then I suggest marriage counselling just to find out why she did what she did and to prevent it happening again. You need to be able to trust her again and she needs to be able to overcome the humiliation she has faced.

    Also, if you guys do want to make your marriage work then just distance yourself for a little bit from both families, focus on each other until you have stabilised things. Her parents don't really have a right to tell her to divorce you, I understand their angry with you but your wife has also messed up.

    I pray Allah swt blocks the devil from interfering with your marriage and gives you both a lifetime of loyalty and happiness together, Ameen.

  9. Divorce her .. You should have kept the pictures with you and divorced her straightaway ..
    Only if her family were trying to trouble you because of divorce then only you should have shown it to them and not before that . Anyway ,Divorce is the best solution now .

  10. I am sorry for what you are going through and I STRGONLY think you shouldn't have involved your family or showed them the piks you should have kept the parda and DIVORCED HER. I know YOU did this because you was angry and most people in your position would have done the SAME its the betrayal and your shocked more than anything. I STILL think you should divorce her if your heart cannot take this. It is hard to rebuild a relationship especially one has cheated. Being married this behavior is not acceptable and more this is a big sin as the per QUARAN states don't know WHY some people think this is a joke or something that should be taken lightly. I feel YOU, May Allah help you and get you out of this position inshAllah.

  11. I think the brother doesn't want to divorce his wife, so it's not right for us to tell him to divorce. He's asking if the showing her images was wrong. I pray that Allah helps them reconcile and blesses their marriage if that's what they wish for.

    • He is biggest fool to say he don't want to get divorced .Never know his wife might spread sexual disease to him because of her loose character . Time for him to kick her out of life .....

      It is extremely dangerous to spend life with such spouse as they might spread HIV due to their cheating habits ..Her repentance seems to be because of her shame in society and not for the Allah ...What if she was not caught she could have continued having sex with third person .Is it not alarming for you ? Religious wise cuckold husband will not get Allah's look on day of judgement and also from world wise she might spread disease and you may die because of STD .

      • @C Islamically I agree and I for one would not even forgive my husband for doing this either. Maybe I would do the same as the OP acting out in anger and yes i would divorce. Haraam is haraam for a reason maybe people should take their marriage vows seriously before such acts YOU should NOT COMMIT in the first place.

  12. I really do feel that everyone needs to stop telling this person to divorce his wife. I repeat my earlier point he does not want to divorce her. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, it's what we do afterwards that matters. If this one mistake, as big as it is, is a means for this persons wife to repent sincerely and to become a better Muslim and wife as a result of it, don't you think she deserves a second chance? I've been there, my husband has cheated on me, it hurts, but I still tried to forgive my husband and move on from it because he's not perfect. On the contrary he uses every little thing I do wrong to put me down, he's not learning from his mistakes he's making more. But the decision to forgive him, divorce him etc etc is mine. I just don't feel that divorce is an easy step, if both husband and wife in this scenario are repenting, feel remorseful for their behaviours and both feel they won't repeat the same mistakes then I see no harm in forgiving each other and making the marriage work. If however, the husband can no longer trust his wife, or she repeats the same mistakes then he should divorce her and move on. But that decision is his.

  13. Am sooo DISGUSTED with all the negative comments against this brother, calling him a sinner b/c he exposed his "CHEATING wife"! I beg to difer but do you know what a 'wife' is? She is NOT a single woman who is freely allowed to go loose and do as she pleases with any man of her choice. She is: MARRIED! She is a "WIFE" who vowed her entire life to this man on both islamic terms & marital cultural terms to stay faithful, loyal, honest etc etc and to be in this marriage for better or for worse! I personally DO NOT think the wife repented b/c she felt SINCERE guilt for what she did to the husband at all i personally think she only feels guilt b/c she was 'caught' and 'exposed'. Had she not been caught, she would've continued committing zina with this non mahrem man and would've never given a hoot if she was sinning or not! She knew she was sinning when she was doing the act yet she continued to do it. But when her husband exposed the evidence to her family she felt guilt b/c they r probably scolding her for it!

    • @Sade THANK YOU Exactly the POINT Mas'Allah. I agree people like this who play people are very SELFISH and manipulative.

    • We never know how someone has repented. Regardless of anything er sin is between her and Allah. Don't impose your thoughts on her reality.
      What he decides to do is up to him, but he too needs to see that a cheat is always a symtop of the problem. And in a marriage not one person's is perfect so each carry equal fault. We sin everyday and yet we ask Allah to forgive us, yet when it comes to forgiveness towards others we hold it tightly. Let Allah be the judge not us.

  14. Read this verse from the Holy Qur'an
    "The woman and the man guilty of illegal sexual intercourse, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment."
    [24:2]

    • This is indeed the punishment. However, it can only be applied by the officially appointed judge or qadi in a nation that has Islamic laws. Furthermore, there must either be a freely given confession, or four witnesses to the act of copulation itself. For these reasons this punishment was almost never applied in history.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • thank you. The most repulsive thing is people taking Islam into their own hands without proper knowledge and guidance. Hence the problems of the world!

  15. i am confused people telling the guy to forgive her? in reality Islam says that she should be stoned to death for committing adultery, s it correct? I'm confused?

    her repentance seem to be more forced by circumstances where she is already disgraced, dishonored, if she gets divorce, she would find it difficult for her bad reputation to get married again. her husband has recorded proof of her adultery which will haunt her for ever? she must think that her life is over if he divorces her? she will face wrath of her own family?

    some people say that he committed a sin for exposing her wife? are you kidding me? please try to be in his shoes where he had recorded the immorality of his wife and his wife's family refusing to believe him and even still taking the girl's side by making her divorce him? shouldn't it be him divorcing her? so in short some people say he is a big sinner and he should forgiive his wife's sin? why are everybody taking her sides in this way?

    now i will not be judging on the background who treated whom bad that lead up to the adultery, maybe she was 100% wrong and had wrong desires which she couldn't control, maybe his own treatment to her was bad and maybe he realize he had some fault in this as and wants to repair the marriage he thinks he had some part in the damage and owes it to her? maybe his bad behavior lead her to her wrong doings? as i said i wont be judgmental and so should nobody, if that's not the case and it was all her own doings from the start, he deserves a lot better and to start a new life afresh.

    • Assalaamualaikam

      While sharia law does include punishments such as stoning, these have extremely stringent criteria attached to them, which must be fulfilled in order for the punishment to be passed. Such punishments were rarely used. For example, for someone to be found guilty of adultery, there would have to have been four witnesses to the actual act of adultery. When we consider such aspects of sharia law, we need to keep it in perspective - the laws regarding such punishments were even more stringent in many respects than modern laws regarding capital punishment in some Western countries.

      As Muslims, we are meant to treat each other with kindness and mercy. So, if someone wrongs us, we should do our best to forgive that person. Forgiving someone isn't the same as pretending something didn't happen, but it allows us to move forward in life without carrying bitterness and resentment towards that person.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

      • To everybody whose trying to play Allah, take a step back and look at your own selves we are no one to tell him to divorce, he does not want to divorce neither did he ask for anyone's advice on divorce, marriage is sacred its not a doll play, if she messed around with it, its between Allah and her,he will bring himself to forgive her. Any sane Muslim would never advise a brother or sister to divorce there spouse, shame on all of you who said this, and I feel sorry for the people you will marry, its very easy to walk away but it takes allot to put your foot down and accept the tests that come your way. May Allah guide each one of us and grant us patience, Ameen.

        • "Any sane Muslim would never advise a brother or sister to divorce there spouse..."

          I disagree. Divorce should indeed be a last resort, but there are certain actions that destroy a marriage irrevocably and break the trust that is necessary for marriage to continue.

          If divorce were an inherently bad or shameful thing then Allah would have prohibited it. But He did not. It's not your place to shame people or prohibit them from something that Allah has allowed.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Ayla, there is this verse in the Quran:
          http://legacy.quran.com/24/3

          "The fornicator does not marry except a [female] fornicator or polytheist, and none marries her except a fornicator or a polytheist, and that has been made unlawful to the believers."

          Different people interpret this verse differently. Would you say this verse applies to this man and his wife? I honestly don't know. If Allah has given permission for these people to remain together I would've recommended the guy try to maintain the girl as before, but if not then divorce her and allow her to marry another. But with this verse I don't know. If I was in his shoes I would get a better understanding of this verse because it may mean she is no longer lawful to believers.

          • The ayah refers to someone who is engaged in an ongoing action of adultery or fornication. It does not include someone who has repented for past actions and no longer commits such acts.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  16. OP: Recently I showed her nude pictures to her parents, aunt, uncle and her grandma because they didn't believe me. I also told my parents about her adultery. Have I done anything bad by showing her nude pictures and videos to them? Am I allowed to do that in Islam? I don't want to leave her now but her parents is telling her to give me divorce just because I showed them those pictures. My wife keeps crying all day now because she thinks everyone hates her. What should I do now?

    You don't want to leave her even after knowing she is doing it with another man. Why did you show her nude pictures and videos to her parents, aunt, uncle, grandma and your parents?

    It shows you accepted her actions but wanted to prove to others you wife is a bad woman.
    Did you have a normal sexual relationship with your wife before it happened? Who is the man involved with your wife.

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