My wife is away from me and I don’t know what to do
As salam alaikum,
How are u sir. I have a question. My wife is away from me since 1 year. She was having cancer and was taking treatment and the whole expenses I had paid for it. Now she is in her mothers house and not coming back to me. Doctors had already confirmed that she is fine and can a normal life. But now her mother and my wife is not willing to come back to me. I am the only child of my parents and nobody is there to look after me and my parents. And now from 3 months she is not talking to me. Can you suggests what I have to do in this situation.
sajjad
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What do you mean "nobody is there to look after you and your parents" How old are you??? You are a grown up man, cant you look after yourself? Why dont you look after your parents yourself? Or pay someone to help to look after them??? Do you need your wife to come back so you can use her as a slave or a house maid to look after your parents? ?? You should know it's not her responsibility at all to look after them, your parents your responsibility. You sound like someone who wants to bring his wife back because he needs a house maid not a wife. I understand why your wife doesn't want to come back. Well you can't force her. Talk to her, see why she doesn't want to come back.
I agree with you.
SAJJAD WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK.ALL SOLUTIONS CAN BE ANSWERED THROUGH DUA.PROVIDED YOU ARE OBEYING THE COMMANDMENTS OF ALLAH AND TEACHINGS OF MUHAMMAD PBUH. THAT IS THE QUESTION!LIFE WILL GO ON YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOUR DESTINY.MUST ATTEND MOSQUE AND START READ QURAN DAILY.HAVE A SCHEDULE.ONE WHO MAKES TIME FOR ALLAH.ALLAH WILL MAKE TIME FOR YOU. YOU MUST GO AND SEE HER .TAKE FLOWERS AND ASK HER I REALLY DO LOVE YOU AND MSS YOU WHAT CAN I DO?BUT IF YOU ARE FEELING THAT SHE DOESN'T WAN O BE WITH YOU.THEN DIVORCE HER AND MOVE ON.THERE ARE PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA BUT THE BEST FISH ARE THE ONES WHO HAVE IMAN...THIS THE KEY TO A SUCCESSFULL LIFE.MY FRIEND IT IS NOT WORTH TO SIT BACK AND START THINKING ABOUT THIS THAT....SATAN IS A MASTER OF WHISPERING THOUGHTS AND PLAYING PEOPLE....SO BEWARE......ONLY QURAN AND ZIKR AT ALL TIMES WHEN IDLE......AN IDLE MAN'S BRAIN IS A DEVIL WORKSHOP...BUT MY ADVICE IS CORRECT YOURSELF.....SALAH IS THE KEY TO PARADISE IS A LIGHT OF A BELIEVER. ...THE VIRTUES GO ON...LEARN PATIENCE. ...AND SILENCE.....KNOW THAT EVERYONE IS TESTED RIGHT TILL HIS LAST BREATH.
Salaam,
The most you can do is to speak with her via the internet or phone or by any other means. Basically, try and contact her and if not you should go to her house and find out why she has not been replying.
If she is severely ill, I suggest you don't trouble her as she has cancer (and I pray to Allah she remains in good health) and it is not a good thing to.
It also seem like you want her back to look after your parents, as you are not old enough to? Brother, she is ill and has cancer, can't you be so grateful she has someone to look after her? Someone she knows better?
Cancer treatment leaves people weak. 3 months is not enough time for her to regain her strength even though Alhamdulillah she is cured. She will still need regular check ups for a while too.
She needs your support to bring her back to life and health. You cannot expect her to look after household chores and take responsibility for 3 more adults.
As salam o alaikum
Brother , why doesnt she wants to come back at your home ? WHAT REASON /REASONS is she or her mother giving ?
Secondly you being the only son and she being your only wife, is it her just duty to look after you and your parents? I agree its her responsibility but understand she has just come out from a life threatning disease. How can you expect her to be back just to do all your chores ?
Cancer no matter however it is cured, it doesnt completely goes off. All you can do is prevent it from relapsing ( that is by taking regular treatments and visits to the doctors ). And in case like that its not advisable for someone to do work which requires HARDWORK immediately. It takes hell lots of time to heal
Am sure she must have given you some reason for not coming back. Which you havent mentioned here. May be over and over again you or your family must be taking out the topic of you making the PAYMENTS of her treatment which is not good. You havent done any FAVOUR, it was your responsibility which you did. But making your wife or your in laws hear that same thing would certainly embarrass and make them furious. And also if you are making it public by telling every other person the same thing is not really decent enough. So obviously why would she want to return back to you. Dont test someones patience so much, because if they lose that and if there self respect is hurt they definately will return back your money which you spend on her Treatment.
"Nobody is there to look after me and my parents".
Your wife just went through what must have been gruelling cancer treatments. Poor girl!
Maybe she has wisdom through that process and has realized that you were immature. I don't think you are ready for marriage. As a man, YOU have to take care of your parents. YOU have to take care of your wife. YOU have to take care of yourself.
Your attitude and perpective are weak. I'm sorry to sound harsh but you really do sound like a young child. Your wife need some tender loving care and you want her back because there is no one to take care of you and your parents? I'm sorry no one takes care of me either, and I'm a woman. And I take care of my parents. Life is difficult. Be grateful you didn't have cancer, and perhaps you are better off if your wife does not talk to you -- some break-ups can be very acrimonious and it sounds like she just wanted to go away quietly without making a fuss.