Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My wife thinks she has to help her family at any cost

Money roll, dollar bills, cash

Arguments about money are tearing families apart...


My wife is a doctor she earns good, im an engineer and i earn equivalent to hers. My question is - my wife thinks that it is mandatory for her to send her parents some money for there expenses every month, i appreciate that and never stop her to do so, but they also ask for separate favours apart from the monthly expenses she sends from her salary and always says since they have spent on her education a lot of money she cant even help them with some extra quids. Above all she is been humilated by her brother and sister by saying that my wife spent all the money on her education and they are not been treated the same way as her, on the other hand  the case is entirely different since i have been seeing my sister in law and brother in law have all the luxuries a common family would have. There father has fixed assets for both of them but still my wife is been asked and always looked up for more n more money. The thing is i dont stop her from doing things because if i do so the arguements start and i dont want to stop my smooth moving life, but somewhere in my heart i feel my wife is been used just because we dont need any more money as of now. Honestly i have more dreams to accomplish not on my wifes money but the extra support would always be helpful for me to fulfil my dreams. I want to have your opinions about this situation. What according to you is right ?

Jazakallah khair.


Tagged as: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 Responses »

  1. Asalam alikum brother. Although I do understand that your wife maybe taken advantage of cause I'm in a similar situation with my husband always giving his family. I was getting upset but you know what I eventually found out because of my husband's pure intentions of helping them out or thinks he has to give back, Allah subahna always gives us more blessings.. Don't forget brother that being obedient to our parents especially when they are older is a win win to Jenna and also a blessing to you and ur future family. And dont forget what goes around comes around. You too in sha Allah will have children just as loving, rsspectful and obident as your wife.. Always look at the end results brother walikum asalam

  2. I think your wife is doing the right thing in sharing her income with her parents. Don't look at what her siblings are not doing. The Quran instructs men and women to care for their parents. Your wife has a good income and it's true her parents educated her so she can have all the success in the world. If her parents want "extras" and your wife can afford it, then that's a lovely thing.

    It sounds like she's a wonderful, caring daughter and some day you may be blessed with a daughter just like her. You earn money to support the family and it doesn't sound like she makes demands on you or spends her money frivolously. Be grateful for that.

  3. Allah knows best....but it is our duty to serve our parents in anyway.They are ticket to paradise. ..Provided they are not buying haram or stopping you from practising your religion Islam....but nevertheless we have to help them and never question them for fullfilling your mother's needs would still be insignificant because she carried you in her bellie and then went through the labour pains..Fed and change your diaper and worried out of br..she is doing right...and what have you done for your parents..
    Because on the day of judgement which is going to take place...You will be asked how did you treat your parents?

  4. Aslamualaikum,
    May ALLAH bless you and your wife.

    Do you know ? Islam says what belong to your wife is all her. Husband do not have right on them either its his income or property. But if she gave you right thats her goodness.

    And what belong to husband has a part for his wife and it is mens responsibility of nan nafqa for his wife.

    It is your right to dream but thanks to ALLAH for the life you have. Many people desire that life and cant havr.. Just THANKS ALLAH .


  5. Asalamwalaikum Brother,

    You should know that in Islam a man should provide for the family. If the wife is working then that is her money, and she can do what she wishes with it. In your case, she's sending money to her parents. Subhanallah, helping our parents is an amazing deed. No matter how much money we give them, we can never repay all that they have done for us. There is nothing wrong with your wife giving them money, forget about what jer brother and sister say.

Leave a Response