Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My world fell apart after a negative Istikhara

Exploding planet, world fell apart

Assalam O Alaikum

I had been engaged to the love of my life for two years. Everything was going well and we were about to get married in 3 months. All of a sudden some really minor issues came up and the engagement was broken by the boy's side over a phone call.

In a couple of days they realized that was wrong and did istikhara. He got a dream tht no-one could interpret. Then his mother did it for a day and no dream, then they asked a maulvi to do it. The maulvi asked our names and the names of our parents and gave the answer about a day later that its negative.

The rings have not yet been returned. We both still love each other and he does believe that I'm right for him for we understand each other well but his family cant go against that istikhara.

I have left alot of proposals and opportunities for him now im 27.  I cant' go back to my life.  I'm desperate to fix this. I always believed that istikhara is asking God for help and before accepting his proposal or him proposing we both prayed and cried that make this possible if it is in our favor or separate our ways which at time was easy he was leaving for dxb.

Everything went super smoothly after that but this was the only problem that has left me distraught.  I did istikhara too after that I thought my mind would be at peace bcoz God would help me this clearly, did it for 5 days, no dreams but i got a good inclination and feeling everytime and a solution to this problem but the other side still considers maulvi's istikhara valid. Plz guide me anyone.

- ST

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5 Responses »

  1. assalamualaikum. .

    i do not know who bought this thing about dreams coming after istikhara salaat is done. .

    I do not think there is any hadees reference also for this that after istikhara dreams have to come. .

    Just do istikhara salaat. . pray 2 rakath nafil namaaz and read the istikhara dua

    "Allaahumma 'innee 'astakheeruka bi'ilmika, wa 'astaqdiruka biqudratika, wa 'as'aluka min fadhtikal-'Adheemi, fa'innaka taqdiru wa laa 'aqdiru, wa ta'lamu, wa laa 'a'lamu, wa 'Anta 'Allaamul-Ghuyoobi, Allaahumma 'in kunta ta'lamu 'anna haathal-'amra-[then mention the thing to be decided] Khayrun lee fee deenee wa ma'aashee wa 'aaqibati 'amree - [or say] 'Aajilihi wa 'aajilihi - Faqdurhu lee wa yassirhu lee thumma baarik lee feehi, wa 'in kunta ta'lamu 'anna haathal-'amra sharrun lee fee deenee wa ma'aashee wa 'aaqibati 'amree - [or say] 'Aajilihi wa 'aajilihi - Fasrifhu 'annee wasrifnee 'anhu waqdur liyal-khayra haythu kaana thumma 'ardhinee bihi."


    Thats it; and then inshaALLAH you will get signs from ALLAH. . Just follow what ALLAH wants..

    ALLAH knows the best. .

  2. @ST : walaikumassalam warahmatulahi wabarakatuhu

  3. sister u r wrong if u think u wil see anythg. Isthakara mean dua asking for better option.
    U cant pretend anythg from it , its just that Allah wil giv u dis proposel if it is gud for u or better partner

    it a sign from Allah that u botth are positive. Inshallah u wil get best person, this guy or some one else.
    It in our fate with whom we wil get married, if he is the one noone can stop this marriage if he is not the one, what ever u do u wil not get him
    just pray and ask Allah to make easy for u in both condition
    the best dua is
    rabbana ateena wid dunya hasana, wal akhira hasana, wa keena azabin naar

  4. sorry its
    rabbana ateena fid dunya hasana wal akhiratu hasana wa keena azabin naar

  5. Istikhara is about seeking the guidance from Allah in deciding a matter. Because only Allah has the complete and perfect knowledge about everything. Only Allah knows if a thing is beneficial or harmful for us. Something may seem beneficial in our eyes, but it may seem harmful according to the judgment of Allah. When someone does istikhara, then it means he is ready to accept the qadr of Allah. If someone does istikhara with a premeditated result, then is there any need for doing istikhara? Does such istikhrara truly represents submission to Allah and acceptance of His infinite/perfect wisdom and divine decree?

    When it comes to marriage decision, it is my understanding that istikhara should be performed before the boy or the girl develops an emotional feeling for the other person. After you have done your full research with a rational mind, not with an emotional mind, then you should do your istikhara. In that case, it is very likely that the feeling you will get will be from Allah, instead of from your emotion.

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