Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Need answers to questions about Islam

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Salam brothers and sisters

 

I a muslim women who is 20 years old and practice my  and love my religion.

Islam brings me peace and calmness im my mind and i try to avoid sins.

Please don't judge me or be angered with me with my question, i just really need the answer. I just have questions that i havent found the answer to.  I had been researching about islam and its laws i found something that put me into doubted, plz forgive me Allah. I cant get it off my head.

question1

Is music haram in religion, im so confused some ppl say it is and some say it isnt. I know music that is against Allah is bad, but i dont understand why music is haram. Im not talking about any music such as; rock, metal or etc. I mean like cultural music and etc. Some music brings calmness to the mind when someone is in stress.

Surah Luqman 31:6 “And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks (i.e. music, singing, etc.) to mislead (men) from the Path of Allah without knowledge, and takes it (the Path of Allah, the Verses of the Qur'an) by way of mockery. For such there will be a humiliating torment (in the Hell-Fire).”

This is one of the surahs that say music is haram, but it says "idle talks to mislead men from path of Allah without knowledge". That doesnt mean all music is haram, it just means that music that speaks against Allah is haram. Idle talk doesnt necessary mean music does it, doesnt it mean like if the music is preaching about praying to other god then its haram?. forgive me  if im wrong im really confused and allah forgive me. And music doesnt really change my mind of my religion

question 2

I understand why polygamy marriage is allowed and everything. But I dont understand the fact that the husband cant have the first wife permission for him to have a second wife wife. Should the first wife be told before he gets married to a second wife?

question 3

It says men are allowed to get married to 4 wives. But prophet solomon married 700 wives and 300 were concubines. That makes me confused and prophet mohammed (pbuh) married 9 wives and and some were concubines, when in islam only 4 is allowed.

question 4

Prophet mohammed married zainab and she was the wife of his adopted son. She divorced his adopted son and married prophet mohammed pbuh.  I dont understand there story correct me if im wrong.

question 5

I don't understand the term women as slaves if your right hand possess and what islam says about women who are concubines. Isn't that consider as adulterer?

Please dont judge me or be angry at me im just trying to find answers to my religion and these question has been going through my head many times. I really wish i find the answers here. I hope im not doing something haram for asking these question plz god forgive me if im doing something haram

Thank you brothers and sisters for your time.
- MUSLIMGIRL 10


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36 Responses »

  1. Salaam Sister,
    A'oudhou Billahi minash shaytanir radjim. Surely, those types of questions that cross the mind at times are waswasa(whispering) from the accursed shaytan; we seek refuge in Allah from the accursed one. I am not a scholar, nor a student of knowledge but I feel like I must reply to this post to the best of my ability to help a sister out, and surely some people will answer your questions better;
    To begin, there is a hadith in which in the meaning the Prophet Alaihi swalatu wa salaam said: it will be a time when some people in my ummah will make the haraam things (musical insrtruments, zinaa and wearing silk(for men)) halaal, and from this hadith we know that musical instruments are haraam therefore their use to make music is also haraam which make music also haraam, and Allah knows best.
    I do not know anything about Prophet Solomon marrying 700 wives, but I know Prophet Muhammad Swalallahu alaihi wa salaam married had 9 wives before the law of up to 4 wives was revealed, and after the revelation of that verse he let the rest of them go, and had only kept 4 of them.
    Regarding to Swalallahu Alaihi wa salaam marrying his adoptive son ex-wife, before islam the quraish used to consider their adoptive son as their own son and blood, so as to clarify that issue that the adoptive child cannot be like their own, Allah revealed to his Messenger Alaihi swalatu wa salaam, to marry zainab after his adoptive son has divorced her and stopped any contact with her.
    I am sure the brothers and sisters out there can give you more clarified answers with proofs, and I also pray that Allah give you the understanding and protect you against the waswasa of the shaytan and the evil of your own nafs.
    Salaam Alaykum, Barakallahu Fika!

    • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

      No sister, he Prophet sallahualayhiwasalam did not abandon all his wives except the four, Allah gave him different rules. Please read Surah Al-Ahzab.

  2. Muslim girl, As-salamu alaykum,

    1. As you said, there are differing opinions about music. Many of the scholars have said as you said, that it is not forbidden unless the content is un-Islamic, or if it leads to un-Islamic activities. A good book to read to answer such basic fiqh questions is "The Lawful and the Prohibited in Islam" by Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi.

    2. Lying and deception is haram, and husbands are commanded in Islam to treat their wives with love and compassion. Also, any husband with an ounce of intelligence would not want to jeopardize his first marriage by going behind his wife's back. Unless he is simply tired of the first wife and doesn't care what she thinks, in which case he is violating the commandment to treat all wives equally.

    I'm not saying that the husband must get the first wife's permission before marrying another, but it's hard to see how he could maintain the character of a believer unless he is honest with her and consults her. The sad fact is that polygamy is an institution that is often abused. It has a purpose in Islam, but many husbands misuse it.

    3. Prophet Sulaiman (as) is not for us to judge. He lived in a time before the revelation of the Quran, and was not subject to the same rules as the Muslims of the post-Quranic era. When it comes to the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) you are mistaken, he had no concubines. He did purchase slaves, but only to free them. He never kept any slaves. His 9 wives were married before the Quranic revelation that limited the number to four. Those who had already married more than four before the verses were revealed, were not required to divorce them. However, they were not allowed to marry any additional wives. Also, I would like to point out that all of his wives except for Aisha were previously married. Many of them were elderly or widows. And some were married in order to strengthen relationships with certain tribes.

    4. Islam abolished adoption. That's why the adopted son of the Prophet changed his name from Zaid bin Muhammad, back to Zaid bin Haritha. Islam allows and encourages all Muslims to care for orphans and raise them, but as caretakers and guardians. The true biological parental relationship must be preserved. So when Zainab divorced Zaid, there was no harm in the Prophet (pbuh) marrying her. Zainab was not divorced in order to marry the Prophet (pbuh). She and Zaid had problems from day one, and never were able to live together happily.

    5. There are differing opinions about the term, "Those whom your right hands possess." Some say it means your wives, in other words those women you have married lawfully. In this case the Arabic word "aw" would not mean "or" as an alternative, but "or" as an explanation, similar to "i.e." or "in other words". This is a valid interpretation of the word. I personally favor this interpretation.

    Others interpret it as those women who were captured in war and were made into concubines as you said. However, it's important to note that this practice no longer exists. Islam came to abolish slavery, and no modern Muslim scholar considers slavery to be a valid institution in these days and times.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Assalamu alaykum Sister Muslima,

    Insha Allah, I shall answer your questions one by one:

    Answer 1
    You may refer to a couple of posts I wrote on this page: http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/special-talent-is-it-haraam/

    If you go through my both replies, Insha Allah, you will be able to grasp firmness in this matter.

    Answer 2

    Islamic marriage is a bond where a man and woman enjoy each other's company, produce children together, raise up a family and act as "raiments" for each other giving comfort to each other of what is good and guarding each other against what is evil.

    Second marriage should be for Islamic reasons and not for lust. This is clear from the verses of the Qur'an which speak of this system. If a person transgresses the limits of Allah, following his lust, the case is between him and Allah.

    Any God fearing Muslim would not follow lusts, destroy one family's establishment to set up another. Only a fool would do so.

    If a person is very much God fearing and sees that his marrying a woman will fulfill the purpose of Allah as mentioned in the Qur'an, am sure Insha Allah, his wife with strong iimaan will accept the decision, but there are few husbands and wives like that visible to us today in this world.

    As a better way of approach the first wife should be told about thought of second marriage, why it comes and she should be consulted and only then a decision should be taken so that no injustice is done to her.

    If she disagrees for unIslamic reasons, Allah has more right to be obeyed than a wife. To improve the state of society and woman of the umman if a man takes such a step, it should be encouraged and he and his first wife should be appreciated for that. If a man does it to satsify his lust without caring for family and doing injustice, he should be discouraged and criticized for acting in a manner that ruins a family.

    Answer 3
    If you read the Qur'an, you would not speak such thing about Prophet Solomon (peace be upon him) or Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) or about any other Prophet. You should read the Qur'an again and find for yourself what Allah says.

    38. And verity We sent messengers (to mankind) before thee, and We appointed for them wives and offspring, and it was not (given) to any messenger that he should bring a portent save by Allah's leave. For everything there is a time prescribed.

    Subhaan Allah, Allah Himself testifies to the Truth that Messengers before the Prophet were given "wives and offspring. No where in the Qur'an will you find Messengers having concubines. Islam was the religion for mankind, always, and was the religion for all Prophets. The concubine theory is not Islamic and Islam does not permit such things.

    This is a Judeo - Christian material introduced sometimes in to Islam by these forces and also in their own scriptures they many stories of Prophets and concubines. Are the Prophets to guide people or to send people astray? Are they examples of goodness and upright characters for an ummah or examples of fun and enjoyment managing 1000 concubines at a time? Astagfirullaah. Those who put forward concubine theories: They utter lies.

    And when there cometh unto them a messenger from Allah, confirming that which they possess, a party of those who have received the Scripture fling the Scripture of Allah behind their backs as if they knew not, And follow that which the devils falsely related against the kingdom of Solomon. Solomon disbelieved not; but the devils disbelieved, teaching mankind magic and that which was revealed to the two angels in Babel, Harut and Marut. ( 101-102, Surah Al Baqarah).

    So do not believe any story that reaches you, until you verify it with the Qur'an, lest chances are you may go astray from the truth which Allah has revealed.

    Answer 4

    37. And when thou saidst unto him on whom Allah hath conferred favour and thou hast conferred favour: Keep thy wife to thyself, and fear Allah. And thou didst hide in thy mind that which Allah was to bring to light, and thou didst fear mankind whereas Allah had a better right that thou shouldst fear Him. So when Zeyd had performed the necessary formality (of divorce) from her, We gave her unto thee in marriage, so that (henceforth) there may be no sin for believers in respect of wives of their adopted sons, when the latter have performed the necessary formality (of release) from them. The commandment of Allah must be fulfilled.
    38. There is no reproach for the Prophet in that which Allah maketh his due. That was Allah's way with those who passed away of old and the commandment of Allah is certain destiny.
    39. Who delivered the messages of Allah and feared Him, and feared none save Allah. Allah keepeth good account.
    40. Muhammad is not the father of any man among you, but he is the messenger of Allah and the Seal of the Prophets; and Allah is Aware of all things.

    As clear from the above verses, this incident was meant to pass on a legislation where by a believer may marry the wife of his adopted son, of whom he is guardian and shown favor, if he divorces her and the formality is complete, the believer may marry this divorced woman.

    Further to this, Allah says what Allah makes due for the Prophets, it is their right and this was Allah's way with the Prophets of old who delivered the Messages of Allah and feared none but allah.

    And the other verse clearly states, Muhammad (peace be upon him) is not the father of any man, a proclamation that after him no one may stake a claim to the Prophethood or should say he was my father and I am now in his place. Also a message which says he is the seal of Prophets, meaning the way shown by Allah through him is Final. No more "revelations" to come for mankind.

    Answer 5

    Also if you read the Qur'an, you would Insha Allah find an answer to this question. Allah says in Surah An Nuur:

    32. And marry such of you as are solitary and the pious of your slaves and maid servants. If they be poor; Allah will enrich them of His bounty. Allah is of ample means, Aware.
    33. And let those who cannot find a match keep chaste till Allah give them independence by His grace. And such of your slaves as seek a writing (of emancipation), write it for them if ye are aware of aught of good in them, and bestow upon them of the wealth of Allah which He hath bestowed upon you. Force not your slave girls to whoredom that ye may seek enjoyment of the life of the world, if they would preserve their chastity. And if one force them, then (unto them), after their compulsion, Lo! Allah will be Forgiving, Merciful.
    34. And verily We have sent down for you revelations that make plain, and the example of those who passed away before you. An admonition unto those who ward off (evil).

    The beautiful preachings of the Qur'an, endowed with wisdom touch the heart and makes one sure, this could not come from anyone else except Allah.

    You should note an important point here, Allah says, marry the pious slaves, not push them in to whoredom, ut marry them so that they may be lawful wives and enjoy the rights of a wife.

    Even 1400 years back, Islamic way of treatment of slaves, those who were not freed yet, has been excellent and unmatched to date and also there is always encouragement to free slaves, as slavery should only be to Allah. We may have a boss and work for him if he pays us wages, but we are slaves of Allah and our devotion and time and efforts should be directed to please Allah and these efforts may not necessarily please our boss. So we are slaves of Allah and to Him we show our servitude.

    My advice: Read the Qur'an and ponder upon it's verses. Islam was a revolution, a change bringer, from darkness to light, it is a journey, so the begining of journey begins with leaving comforts, freeing slaves and the end of the journey is a person himself becoming a slave of Allah.

    Brother Wael made some good points and I hope from all posts you will choose the more seeming truth and will also take up the Qur'an and ponder upon its verses and know for yourself " the fariness and justice" system of Allah for human beings and how He makes provision for all (poor to rich and rich to poor) by His beautiful laws of Sharia.

    Try to see the beauty of Islam, Insha Allah you will see it. Those who try to show you some ugliness, it is nothing but their lack of knowledge and wisdom which their comrade Shaytaan inspires in them to relate falsely against Allah.

    islam is there, Qur'an is there for all to see. If anyone shows a single point of Injustice in this sytem, I would be grateful to such person and welcome it as an open challenge.

    Salaam,
    Your brother.

  4. Thank you so much, you have answered my question.
    I was searching on the internet about islam and i got these information, maybe they arent reliable sources. But i still don't know if music is haram or not. If it is then ill will stop listening to it, im really confused about it.

    • Assalamu alaykum Muslimgirl.

      Did you read the post for which I gave the link to you? The one about music?

      Haraam means unlawful. A Muslim should not do it because it is not lawful for him to do anything which is haraam.

      Music is something that does not befit a Muslim. It is by self understanding, not by someone imposing a ban upon you.

      If music was haraam, you would not be able to keep ring tone on mobile, else it would be haram, even a telephone ring is music, that too would become haraam act by you, then blowing horn of your car or "tring tring " of bicycle would be unlawful action too and so would be many other things.

      So you should know that it is something " that does not befit a Muslim" and from the Qur'an "vain conversations" are shunned by believers.

      So as you can see, apart from the Qur'an, zikr of Allah and sufficient and neccessary matters of life which we discuss, learn in for studies, etc, most other things are vain conversations having little to do with improvement on our Islamic side of life.

      So it is best if you avoid music and concentrate on listening and learning the Qur'an.

      This is my personal view. I stopped listening to music, because I thought it does not befit a Prophet nor does it befit his followers to enjoy songs instead of fearing Allah with creeping flesh and seeking His forgiveness and doing duties a Muslim should do.

      Other people may have other opinions, this is mine and Alhamdulillaah I keep away from songs and music as much as Allah wills by His leave.

      Salaam,
      Your brother.

    • Thank you for replying, Wael gave you his view about it, the same as Brother Munib, I believe if scholars have different ideas about it, it is normal we can be confused, but you will have to think about which kind of music you listen at, and what kind of energy brings to your life, if you rather listen music to do your salat, then think about it, if you rather listen music than read the Quran, think about it, but if you are balanced you can have time for everything, nature itself has a special rythm and tune, you can make an experiment, be one week without music and see how it affects you, experience it by yourself and take your own decisions.

      Have your heard about the experiments that Masaru Emoto has done with ice crystals and the effect certain words and music has on water?

      Confusions and doubts will dissapear once you know which is the role music plays in your life, if it plays any. Investigate it by yourself, I will be happy to know about your results, insha´Allah.

      María
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. Here are my two cents:

    Question 1:

    I follow the opinion that says music is Haram. In our time, the content of most music is outright lewd. If not lewd, they are accompanied by musical instruments which are clearly haram. Like you will now a days find nasheed being sung in female voice, accompanied by haram instruments.

    I will not go into the fiqhi detail; I will rather explain from my personal experience. I believe that music and Quran simply cannot live in someone's heart simultaneously. Either your heart will remain immersed in music, or it will remain immersed in music. When I was a kid, I was very much into listening the Quran and reciting it. Making umrah at a young age and listening to the recitation of Sheikh Shuraim and Sheikh Sudais had a profound impact upon me. Then during my high school years, I got into listening to music, and by Allah, within years, I lost my beautiful voice of reciting the Quran. At the same time, the way I used to appreciate the words of Allah like I used to do when I was kid, had also been perished. It was a matter of great remorse for me. Since that realization, by the blessing of Allah of course, I have abandoned music completely. Nonetheless, I had to work extremely hard to regain my voice of reciting the Quran.

    Another thing that you need to remember in mind: if you always listen to Qurra, in your subconscious mind, Quran will always resonate. However, if you listen to music, the same will be vibrating in your subconscious mind. If you look at people who are always listening to music, you will find that they also murmur music lyrics all the time. Now, do we know when we will die? We don't. What a sad incident it will be for a Muslim if he or she dies while uttering a music lyrics? This alone should be enough deterrent for us to refrain away from music.

    Question 2:

    It will be against the spirit of Islam if the first wife is not told about taking second wife. A good Muslim husband must consult with his first wife about this issue. However, the permission of the first wife is not necessary. If after consultation the first wife disagrees with second marriage, the husband can still proceed and take a second wife. What will happen to his family happiness is a different issue all together.

    Question 3:

    The sharia during the time of Prophet Solomon (May Allah's peace be upon him) was different than that of ours. May be during his time it was allowed to have so many wives. May be he did not have so many wives. We do not find anything about his number of wives from authentic narration like the Quran and the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). The number that you have mentioned has been reported from the People of Book. Regarding their sayings, we neither believe it, not reject it, we rather remain silent, and say, "Allah knows best". But be assured that he was a Prophet of Allah, and thus he would not do anything even remotely wrong. All the Prophets and the Messengers of Allah divinely infallible.

    Question 4:

    In Islam, adopted son is different from biological son. Zaid (RA) was not a biological son of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), and thus there was no problem for him marrying Zaynab (RA) after Zaid (RA) divorced her.

    See brother Wael's answer.

    Question 5:

    http://islamqa.com/en/ref/10382/right%20hand%20possess
    http://islamqa.com/en/ref/45645/right%20hand%20possess

  6. The Messenger of Allah (sws) never owned slaves or concubines. He bought slaves but only to free them, never to keep them. I do not believe that Islam allows either slavery, or concubines. It is not consistent with the Islamic mission or spirit. I believe in Islam and the Quran fully and I have no doubt of them. What I have doubt in is the interpretations that some people give to the Quran. I think the traditional interpretations that allow slavery are totally flawed.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • And other scholars say different. For example Dr. Muzzammil Siddiqui, former president of ISNA and member of the fiqh council of North America, who says that Islam's intention from the beginning was to abolish slavery. Many modern scholars only know what they learned in university, and often what they learned is wrong. For example many modern scholars interpret a particular verse in the Quran to mean that men can beat their wives. But the classical scholars never understood it this way. The word "daraba" also means to separate or to travel, and that is the way it was understood by the classical scholars. That's another issue I know, but the point is that just because certain conservative modern scholars say a certain thing, doesn't make it true. I will do some research and write something on this Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Assalaam Walekum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu Sister,

      Your queries regarding marriages of our beloved Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam,slavery, concubines are well addressed in the book titled:

      The Wives of the Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) By Faridah Masood Debah
      Publisher: International Islamic Publishing House IIPH; 1ST edition (2006)
      ASIN: 9960850277

      Please go through the book which has authentic references of Hadiths, and lifetimes Of our Mothers( May Allah be well pleased with them All).

      In it its clearly mentioned that One priest had offered a woman called Mariyah to serve Our beloved Prophet sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam,Who was later raised to status of Wife after She gave birth to Hazrat Ibrahim Radiallahu Taalla Anhu.

      Also if you talk about Rights, one of the wives of prophet Sallalahu Alaihi Wa Sallam was actually a prisoner of war.But when demanded a treatment as daughter of rival king and to be given freedom.She was offered proposal to marry Our beloved prophet sallalahu Alaihi Wa Sallam,and which she accepted.This is totally in contrast with present day dealing of war prisoners.

      As per the author of Book Kususul Ambiya: The decision of allowing intimacy with slaves is Allah subhaanwataala's decision.Which was revealed in times of Prophet Isaac Alaihi salaam and Ismail Alaihi Salaam,two sons of Prophet Ibrahim Alaihi Salaam.After the Intikaal of Prophet Ibrahim Alaihi Salaam ,Isaac Alaihi Salaam denied the rights of Ismail Alaihi over their Father's belonging.On which Gabriel Alaihi Salaam was sent down to Isaac Alaihi Salaam By Allah subhaanwataala to Inform him that Just because of denial to property by Isaac Alaihi Salaam, It was decided by Allah Subhaanwataala that His beloved will be born in generation of Ismail Alaihi Salaam, and the people who follow His religion will have right to be intimate with their slaves apart from wives.

      Sister in Quran and Hadiths there are clear guidelines as to how a slave is to be treated, inorder to protect her and also to nurture her to become a good muslimah.Also rights are given for them to work.Willful Prostitution or forcefully engaging them into prostitution is banned.Even in one Hadiths the act of marrying a slave girl after teaching her good islamic values are applauded.

      Sister I do not know about others ,but I am quite sure that Our Beloved Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam used to always take a path which is better,if at any time there were two options.This is clearly shown in his action where He (May Allah Bless Him, and shower peace upon him) prayed for Abdullah who was a Hypocrite.

      May Allah Guide you, and your husband and strengthen your faith.

      Aameen

      Allah Hafiz Wa Nasir

      • Assalaam Walekum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu Sister ,

        The reference pertaining to guide lines of how to deal with slaves is there in Quran and Hadiths, as mentioned in my earlier comment .But as per my knowledge there is not a single verse in quran which says to take up a slave and behave in this manner.Perhaps if this practice would have not existed from ages then maybe If Allah wished then there would be no reference for that also which came.In today's time Imaam's find it hard to explain to parents to let their children get married before they accomplish their careers, although Islam says so.So how can we assume that it would have been easy in that dark age 1400 years ago to tell people to give up slaves and expect them to oblige?

        Remember onething Sister, Quran and Islam is presented by ALMIGHTY to us in such a way that it is compatible with our lives, and not to make our lives difficult.As Allah knows , for he says: MAN IS QUARRELSOME.There are people in this world who believe and lead life thinking that had it not been the mercy of the most merciful then they would have not got Quran and Imaan because it is far bigger than what we deserve.

        For your information,one slave of our prophet sallalahu alaihi wa sallam was so impressed by good treatment of our beloved prophet that he choose His master over his father and family, at a time when he had choice.And that slave Our beloved prophet had got as a gift from His first wife and he did not acquire him on his own.

        Not only this The most powerful Khalifa of Islam(Hazrat Umar Radiallahutaala Anhu) when he came to a country which was under his control, people took him to be slave and his slave to be Khalifa.That is the kind of slave treatment Quran talks about.

        Sister, I cannot help but telling you this verse of Quran in which Allah subhaanwataala says:

        Tell them who consider that they have done favor upon you by accepting Islam that it is Allah who has done favor upon them by gifting them Islam.

        May Allah have mercy upon all of us and guide us to right path.
        Aameen

        ALLAH HAFIZ WA NASIR

      • I did some research on Mariyah (RA). Some Muslim historical sources indicated that she was a concubine; the enemies of Islam have certainly pushed this viewpoint forward. However many other Islamic sources indicate that she was the wife of the Prophet (sws). There is no indication that she was a concubine first, then a wife later, or a slave first, then freed later. To me it's very clear that she was a free woman and a wife from the beginning.

        Islam came to elevate human beings, and to free them from all bondage except the bondage to Allah.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Assalaam walekum wa rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu Sister,

        I and perhaps if Allah Subhaanwataala wills all of us will surely pray for your heart to open up to Islam's true essence: Submitting to will of Allah Subhaanwataala, as He considers both men and women equal, although He Exalted is HE says Men are appointed as officers over women.

        One verse in Quran always quizzed me for sometime but sense prevailed later and I accepted that as decree of Allah which was well explained in another verse of QURAN.

        First verse which quizzed me was related with Iblees the accursed not doing prostration infront of Adam.I was wondering what he must have thought of himself to be to have that logic that he is better?Is it not that we all have mind to think?

        Second verse which guided me on right path was:
        There are verses in Quran of different types, some are clear straightforward to understand, and some have two or more meanings to them.Those who have Faith believe in all of them by believing that every verse is from Allah and have no doubt about it.And those who do not have faith keep themself busy with other meanings of verses and go astray.

        Second verse helped me, so I choose to be a believer on whatever is sent to us through his messenger Mohammed sallalahu Alaihi Wa sallam.

        This goes in line with :PERFECTION OF ONE'S FAITH CAN BE DETERMINED FROM THE FACT THAT HOW MUCH A PERSON GETS INVOVLED IN MATTERS NOT RELATED TO HIM/HER.THE LESSER THE INVOLVEMENT BETTER IS THE FAITH.

        Sister,You are free to believe what you like.Thats all I had in my bag for you.For if I say something further than that would be out of my knowledge, and one day I will have to answer Almighty as to why I used his religion for my whims and fancies( just to win a debate, which is not my concern). You asked advice,so it was bound on any knowing muslim to answer you with advice.May Allah Paak know my intentions.For The one who He leads astray no one can correct, and for the one who leads correct no one can guide.

        Allah Hafiz wa Nasir

    • wa alaykumusalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

      Akhi Wael, this new idea that slavery is abolished and that the Prophet sallahualayhiwasalam had no concubines was not something you will find among the Muslims before this. It is only now that they come up with these interpretations. SubhanAllah, I know you better than to follow something which goes against the apparent meaning of the Quran and the vast corpus of hadith which confirm that slave girls were and are lawful to Muslim men.

      There is the ayah in Surah Al-Ahzab that confirms that Allah made lawful to the Prophet sallahualayhiwasalam his wives and what his right hands possesed and also the ayat in Surah Nisaa "Walmuhsaanaati ila ma malakat aymanukum."

      "As Ibn Kathir rightfully states,

      Allah said,

      ﴿وَالْمُحْصَنَـتُ مِنَ النِّسَآءِ إِلاَّ مَا مَلَكْتَ أَيْمَـنُكُمْ﴾

      (Also (forbidden are) women already married, except those whom your right hands possess.) The Ayah means, you are prohibited from marrying women who are already married,

      ﴿إِلاَّ مَا مَلَكْتَ أَيْمَـنُكُمْ﴾

      (except those whom your right hands possess) except those whom you acquire through war, for you are allowed such women after making sure they are not pregnant. Imam Ahmad recorded that Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri said, "We captured some women from the area of Awtas who were already married, and we disliked having sexual relations with them because they already had husbands. So, we asked the Prophet about this matter, and this Ayah was revealed, e

      ﴿وَالْمُحْصَنَـتُ مِنَ النِّسَآءِ إِلاَّ مَا مَلَكْتَ أَيْمَـنُكُمْ﴾

      (Also (forbidden are) women already married, except those whom your right hands possess). Consequently, we had sexual relations with these women.'' This is the wording collected by At-Tirmidhi An-Nasa'i, Ibn Jarir and Muslim in his Sahih."

      If slavery was abolished, what about the slaves of the Prophet sallahualayhiwasalam, his concubines other than Maria RA who some apparently say was married to him, and the slaves of the Sahaba, and the slaves of the Salaf, and the generations since them? This whole ummah was united upon error until now?

      Ya Akhi Wael, I know you better than that. You do not shy away from the truth right? This deen is not based on what we are convinced was right but what Allah and His Messenger have made clear.

      As for convincing our confused brothers and sisters, a dose of gentleness and dua for them is what we need. We are not allowed to succumb to the pressure to try to make things different out of fear they might leave Islam and turn on their heels or lose their love of Allah and His Messenger(trust me, I know this pressure-however guidance is with Allah. We are no more than slaves and we must do our duty and fulfill our obligation to give the truth.)

      I understand Muhammad Asad's interpretation was quite convincing, however it is not the apparent meaning of the ayat. I love you for the sake of Allah-ya akhi, in light of all the evidence you know have, please reconsider this. I fear for you what I fear for myself and I don't absolve myself from falling into this mistake. As Allah subhana wa ta'ala says,

      "It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error."

      وَمَا كَانَ لِمُؤْمِنٍ وَلَا مُؤْمِنَةٍ إِذَا قَضَى اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَمْرًا أَن يَكُونَ لَهُمُ الْخِيَرَةُ مِنْ أَمْرِهِمْ ۗ وَمَن يَعْصِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ فَقَدْ ضَلَّ ضَلَالًا مُّبِينًا

  7. Assalaam Walekum Wa Rahmatullahi Barakatuhu Sister,

    My mistake: and for the one who leads correct no one can guide.

    For the one who He leads astray no one can guide.

    Sister, what you are facing is an irony of every learned man.I will tell you one real life story of a learned scholar in Islam.He was great debater for Islam in terms of producing daleels for imaan.He had won many of them through his profound knowledge about deen.It is known through sources that at the time of death, he was unable to recite Tayyibah, for He found Iblees infront of Him asking this question :Tell me one daleel by which you would prove that Allah tabarakwataala is One and only to be worshiped?
    While he was in his last breaths, people around him were concerned as to why he is not able to recite tayyibah.That is when ,he was guided by source of knowledge Allah knows better of it to say: I need no daleel or proof to prove and accept that Allah is one and only to be worshiped.Then He said: La Ilaha Illallaha Mohammad-ur-RasulAllah.and bid goodbye to this world.

    Sister, No offense to you or your faith, For I believe myself to be dirtiest among all of us.At least you are trying to understand Quran, which Allah adores to see in a believer the most.May Allah Subhaanwataalla have mercy upon me and all of us.

    Our prophet sallalahu alaihi wa sallam hated it t to see Hazrat Umar radiallah taala anhu once confronting another sahaba Ikram radiallahutaala anhu over pronunciation of a verse in Quran.To which Our beloved Prophet said: Quranic verses have been sent down in seven different types.Allah Knows better what he meant.

    All I will say sister every time I read Quran I feel as though I am reading it for first time,so that keeps me attracted to it , its a ocean of knowledge, and a lifetime is very short to traverse it.That is only possible to realize if one comes above his/her barriers .

    FiAmanillaha,

    ALLAH HAFIZ WA NASIR

    Allah Hafiz wa Nasir.

  8. Assalaam walekum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu Sister,

    Narrated Sahl bin Sad As-Sa'idi: A woman came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I have come to give you myself in marriage (without Mahr)." Allah's Apostle looked at her. He looked at her carefully and fixed his glance on her and then lowered his head. When the lady saw that he did not say anything, she sat down. A man from his companions got up and said, "O Allah's Apostle! If you are not in need of her, then marry her to me." The Prophet said, "Have you got anything to offer?" The man said, "No, by Allah, O Allah's Apostle!" The Prophet said (to him), "Go to your family and see if you have something." The man went and returned, saying, "No, by Allah, I have not found anything." Allah's Apostle said, "(Go again) and look for something, even if it is an iron ring." He went again and returned, saying, "No, by Allah, O Allah's Apostle! I could not find even an iron ring, but this is my Izar (waist sheet)." He had no rida. He added, "I give half of it to her." Allah's Apostle said, "What will she do with your Izar? If you wear it, she will be naked, and if she wears it, you will be naked." So that man sat down for a long while and then got up (to depart). When Allah's Apostle saw him going, he ordered that he be called back. When he came, the Prophet said, "How much of the Quran do you know?" He said, "I know such Sura and such Sura," counting them. The Prophet said, "Do you know them by heart?" He replied, "Yes." The Prophet said, "Go, I marry her to you for that much of the Quran which you have."

    Narrated Hisham's father: Khaula bint Hakim was one of those ladies who presented themselves to the Prophet for marriage. 'Aisha said, "Doesn't a lady feel ashamed for presenting herself to a man?" But when the Verse: "(O Muhammad) You may postpone (the turn of) any of them (your wives) that you please,' (33.51) was revealed, " 'Aisha said, 'O Allah's Apostle! I do not see, but, that your Lord hurries in pleasing you.' "

    Narrated Um Habiba: (daughter of Abu Sufyan) I said, "O Allah's Apostle! Marry my sister. the daughter of Abu Sufyan." The Prophet said, "Do you like that?" I replied, "Yes, for even now I am not your only wife and I like that my sister should share the good with me." The Prophet said, "But that is not lawful for me." I said, We have heard that you want to marry the daughter of Abu Salama." He said, "(You mean) the daughter of Um Salama?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Even if she were not my step-daughter, she would be unlawful for me to marry as she is my foster niece. I and Abu Salama were suckled by Thuwaiba. So you should not present to me your daughters or your sisters (in marriage)." Narrated 'Ursa; Thuwaiba was the freed slave girl of Abu Lahb whom he had manumitted, and then she suckled the Prophet. When Abu Lahb died, one of his relatives saw him in a dream in a very bad state and asked him, "What have you encountered?" Abu Lahb said, "I have not found any rest since I left you, except that I have been given water to drink in this (the space between his thumb and other fingers) and that is because of my manumitting Thuwaiba."

    Allah Hafiz Wa Nasir

  9. I deleted the remainder of your comment and your following comments. It took me this long to realize that you are not "confused and upset" or genuinely seeking knowledge, you are a troll, here to push a certain point of view and argue against Islam.

    By the way, regarding the ayah you mentioned, Muhammad Asad argues that "aw maa malakat aymanukum" should be interpreted as a clarification, "in other words, those whom your right hands possess." Not slaves or captives of war. The pre-Islamic Arabs often took companions without marrying them properly, just as we see in Western society today, where people live together as "partners" without marrying. So the Quran was saying, "your wives, in other words those whom your right hands possess", meaning those to whom you are legally married. This is one of the meanings of "aw", just as we use "or" in the same way in English.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  10. Assalaam Walekum Wa rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu Sister,

    As Allah Subhaanwataala has mentioned in Quran : THERE IS DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE FAITH OF THOSE WHO EMBRACED ISLAM BEFORE FATAH MAKKAH AND THOSE WHO ACCEPTED AFTER FATAH MAKKAH.

    Indeed it is.For what we know about them, their sacrifices ?Now its pretty easy to sit in a comfortable house, with lots of data around us to do post mortem of their actions only after 1400 odd years.Sometimes I wonder , would it be possible for me to accept Islam if I had been born in the shoes of Hazrat Bilal Radiallahutaala Anhu( May ALLAH the most forgiving have mercy on me for I thought this),Definitely not.

    I cannot stand the torture which He radiallahutaala Anhu had to go through even for one day.Thanks and praises to be Allah alone for he sent me in this age.Atleast I have a hope that I would be eligible for Shafahat of Our beloved Prophet Sallalahu Alaihi wa Sallam, for the reason that I am so far from HiM, and also so far from His era.

    I feel very ashamed forasking anything for my efforts iin practising Islam ,when I hear that, how much torture they had to bear before and after Hizrat.Not only that tantrums of from Mushrikins in medina for not able to produce a child immediately after Hizrat.I do not think my faith could withstand that test.

    Not only that I could not stand being away from my own family and friends just because of Tawheed.Definitely I could not have passed that test for almost 10 odd years after Hizrat.How can I think of settling in an unfamiliar place without any means, with all my status and respect to ground zero in the new society just for the sake of Islam.

    Also I would have fled the Battle of Badr, where there was less hope of winning.I would have not partcipated in Battle of Uhud for there were only casualties.Also I would have not lasted expeditions where the Companions of Beloved Prophet Sallalahu Alaihi wa aalihi, wa ashabihi Wa sallam had only to eat green leaves so many days that their throats turned green, All this for the sake that Islam should reach others who would sit at Home and make post mortem afterwards in name of rights.Forgetting about the biggest and most important right of being allowed to embrace Islam for nothing.

    Some of them died then and then and some survived to accomplish the task of spreading Islam.May Allah be well pleased with them all and rest them in abundant peace.What a big deal, if for these and many more countless sacrifices they made in the times which mattered the most , if they are given what Allah willed?How many women went and died in Battles?

    It was a reward decreed by someone who was well versed with what these initial Patrons of Islam had lost.There is no questioning for his will , for the people who proved that they were content with Allah and Allah was content with them.As they had forsaken world for the Almighty.And it is said, the first thing Allah Subhaanwataala gives to someone who claims to be content with him is pleasures of world.Which is to test the gravity of their Faith and claim about content in Allah.Just to test them one more time .I do not think I would have survived this test as well.

    Its the legacy of The Beloved Prophet and his great Companions which continues till this date.Similar to Royalty rights which people get for their families on certain things owned by them when they sell it.What we have as rights is first all part of Test which ALLAH has put forward to check who among us goes for pleasures and who among forsakes everything to just have sight Of Him from as close as 14th day moon.Sorry I am not eligible for that .What to say about those companions and others who believed in Our beloved prophet that they managed to survive these tests of Bounties from wars.This league does not involve everyone in their respective period ,Only limited numbers managed to survive these tests of women, without any loss of their faith.May Allah be well pleased with Them ALL who passed and who did not, ( He knows better), for I am not even eligible to be settled as dust on their toes..

    Its only a test my sister.The rewards are test to see who among us seeks what In here.Just as the free available knowledge in this age is a test to see who among us stays on path and who follows His/her own desire and will.A hadith says: After people are done with judgement. all will wait for their god.And those who seeked only Allah will not follow what is presented to them as God.So they will remain till end and the The ALMIGHTY HIMSELF WILL come to them and ask about as to why they did not follow the God they were all presented.They will say That was nothing like Allah we are seeking for.So they will be asked what are signs of your ALLAH?And after they tell the signs, they will be taken by the ALmighty Himself.Subhaanallah.Inna Lillahi wa Inna Ilaihi Raziyun.

    As goes one of the verses of Quran e paak:

    THERE IS NO PLACE FOR SUSPICION IN MATTERS RELATED TO BELIEF.

    Allah Hafiz Wa Nasir.

  11. Hello ''cofused and upset''.. I would like to use another different approach to answer you question in case you are non muslim. I read in one of your post and you said you can't beleive a prophet of God having sex with a slave girl.. I dont really think you are a muslim, but if you are a christian, then according to your bible in the old testement; prophet solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines (slave women) and he does have sex with all of them.. According to 1chronicles1:32, prophet abraham (ibrahim) had a concubine called keturah and he had six children with her. The name of the children are zimran, jokshan, medan, midian, ishbak, and shuah.. Apart from this keturah, hagar was also considered by the christians as a slave girl to abraham, abraham had sex with her many many times and she gave birth to ishmeal, who is considered as a prophet.. So 'confuseandlost', if you are a christian, i know you consider abraham and solomon to be real massanger and prophets of God. Why don't you go and ask your pope or your pastor or any of your christian leader, that why would abraham have a sex with his slave girl called keturah and had six sons with her?? Why would he have sex with his slave hagar and had a son with her who every one consider as a prophet (ie ishmeal)??? Go and as your pope or pastor that why would prophet solomon possess 300 slave girls and had sex with them all.. Any answer they give you, you should as well apply it to the prophet of islam...

    • Assalaam Walekum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu Brother Mohd,

      As a brother of yours I would like to remind you of something which you must be well aware of: As Our beloved Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam has told:

      A muslim is more correct and authorized in following Musa Alaihi Salaam, as compared to a christian or a jew. So that leaves us with the task of believing and also respecting Ibrahim Alaihi Salaam as one of the Prophet.Also Quran says Prophet Ibrahim Alaihi Salaam was more of a muslim than anything else, as He remained clear of polytheism.

      Remember we are the people who are blessed with QURAN, and Quran teaches to be patient and have mercy. So its our duty to try doing that.And also we cannot expect the same level of etiquette from someone else.

      The poster we are dealing with seems to be a knowledgeable person but unfortunately He/She has its own problem of trying to absorb everything through one eye of knowledge.Questions the person is asking is not for laymen like us to answer.But still the person is not able to cross the first line of defence, which if assumed we are.Imagine what will be its state if he /she happens to argue with our classical scholars.

      Its only the Hadith which was there in poster of recent post (parents-dont-understand-me-i-might-commit-suicide) that stops atleast me to strike this person as a disbeliever.Remember how our beloved prophet dealt with people who stoned him.

      So all I am trying is to stick with this:

      ARGUE WITH THEM IN BETTER WAYS, AND ASK THEM TO COME TO TERMS WHICH ARE COMMON IN BOTH OF US FIRST, THAT WE WORSHIP NONE OTHER THAN ONE AND ONLY ALLAH.Who is our lord and their lord.

      It does not necessarily mean that if a muslim brother of ours does not prefer to talk much on some issue like this, He is unaware about facts which can help strengthen his ground.Its quite possible that He thinks that he would be accountable for whatever he utters,although correct, as he is not practising his words.Some prefer to lose all judegments here to win one which matters the most in Aakhirah.So lets do it together to Please Allah The All Knowing and His Beloved Prophet. History is withness that whenever Muslims stand together, all a dis believer is left with is to Turn back and runaway.

      Allah Hafiz Wa Nasir

      • Mohammad ali,, i think you dont really understand me., usually if you see comments of people trying to confuse things after all the convincing answers they recieve,, such comment usually come from non muslims or doubtful muslims who dont have faith in islam.. So if the questioner is a christian, i decided to qout from there scripture. In other word let him/her answer the question in there own religion before trying to criticize islam.. Of curse as a muslim, i respect prophet ibrahim and solomon and i do beleive in what the koran said about them.. So pls try to understand me

        • I am a muslim woman Alhamdolillah. I asked sincere questions and wanted help in understanding the material from the Quran and Hadith and from scholars. I was not arguing or trying to confuse anyone. What is the point of this site if you can't discuss issues with an open mind. I genuinely am plagued by horrible thoughts and question everything. I don't trust my own judgement most of the time. I don't enjoy it.

          I think you are being confrontational and a bit rude. If I had been a christian you are not representing Islam as peaceful and you are not being an inviting muslim.

          This whole thread has turned into a dispute. I just wanted someone to try and help me improve my faith.

          • Ohh! Am so sorry for taking you as a non muslim. You know i alway get upset when am browsing and seeing what this kufars (mostly christians) do say against prophet muhammad (SAW) and islam. So i was thinking you were one of them and u decided to come and attack here.. Oh am sorry 'consufeandupset' pls forgive me... My sister, you 've to understand that this issue of slavery is something that is considered purely normal in societies of the past, Ie am talking about 1000 and above years ago.. . The prophet would by slaves and free them but he does'nt keep them for him self.. And by then those that have slave girls and going into them, God almighty informed the prophet to tell them that there will be no sin on them if they have sex with there slave girls ''provided the slave girls agree to do it willingly''.. Then anybody that has sex with any woman apart from his legal wife or the slave girl that his right hand possess, the does have trespass the limit set by Allah and they are sinners.. But there is no more slavely these days and all this things have gone into extinction and no more... So i think you should be cleared by now.

  12. How dare you say I'm a troll. I am genuinely distraught due to questions and doubts that I have been experiencing on and off for years now. I stay awake all night looking into my faith and trying to understand it better. Just because I was frank in my comments doesn't make me a troublemaker. I came on this site seeking guifance. This is what I hate about fellow muslims. Just because they are firm in their conviction anyone who questions it has to be a troll and therefore censored and ignored. Wael deleted my heartfelt comments. My words were not offensive and I only quoted authentic material from the hadith etc.. and commentary from other islamic q&a sites. I am hurt and my eyes burning with tears. I believe in Allah wholeheartedly and I want desoerately to be a good muslim and have some sakina. I want to bring my baby up as a good muslim Inshallah. idIn fact I should be changing his nappy right now but I had to say something first because I am preoccupied with these issues. I came here hoping for some insight and help from fellow believers but you get upset by someone posing genuine questions. I can't prove my sincerity. I just have to try and get through this on my own.

    • I tried to steer you in the right direction, but instead of taking the cue you played the devil's advocate, quoting extensive material to prove that slavery and concubinage is allowed in Islam, while turning it into an attack on Islam and Muslim men. In all your research did you not find any opposing opinions? I did only a short search and I found plenty of material to indicate that slavery and concubinage are not permitted in Islam. From the volume of material you quoted, and the way you posted several comments one after another, it seemed that you were spamming the site and trolling.

      If you are truly seeking the truth then open your mind and search for opposing opinions, instead of blindly accepting conservative interpretations that you find upsetting.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Thank you. I am sorry if it appeared that I was attacking Islam and muslim men because that was not my intention. I honestly did not find material saying that concubinage was not allowed in Islam but instead there was lots and lots saying that it was. I posted all of that material because I wanted help in understanding it. None of my posts breached any site guidelines and I wasn't being offensive. I wrote candidly and from my heart so that people could understand my issues and perhaps provide some insight and help me through them. I am not blindly accepting interpretations. I am refusing to blindly accept anything and that is why I am posting on this site. I want to accept the evidence you have given but how comes there is so much written to the contrary by other islamic sites?

        I get a bit fixated on issues and am very thorough in my trying to resolve them. It is past 2am heree and I really need to sleep but I can't because I am thinking about this! I can't help myself, it's one thing after another ( faith related and otherwise) playing on my mind. It may be hard for people to understand but I think having OCD and depression makes it worse.

        In any case thank you to everyone who responded to my comments; I really appreciate it.

        • "how comes there is so much written to the contrary..."

          All I can tell you is that there is often a difference between what the text of the Quran (or hadith) says, and how people have traditionally interpreted it. Traditional interpretations often stem from cultural biases. Try to look beyond someone's interpretation to see what the text actually says, then look further for alternative interpretations of the text.

          This is not picking and choosing what you want to believe, nor is it rejecting anything from Quran or Sunnah. This is sifting through the various interpretations until you find the one that you know in your heart is right, and is consistent with everything else that Islam has taught.

          And Allah knows best.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Assalaam Walekum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu Sister,

      Please be aware that when a muslim says salaam to someone, it means that He is asking The Almighty to bless him/her with His Rahmat.And it is also bound on muslims to trust the words of their brothers and sisters , by accepting that Allah knows better. Our heart is the biggest Mufti.

      Frankly speaking, your comments reminded me of my past, when I approached one of my local Scholar with regards to good and bad remarks found on net about our Beloved Prohet Sallalahu Alaihi Wa Sallam.And His one reply that those all bad comments are wrong was enough for me.I believed My Imam's word,but still my mind was restless.So I prayed two rakat Nawafil and begged to Almighty to bring sakina in my mind.And so it was.Such is the Mercy and beneficence of our Lord is that not only He granted me the sakina I was looking for, but He also provided me with right means to settle my boiling mind.I was gifted by my mother a urdu translation of Quran by Hazrat Ahmed Raza Rahmatullahi Alaihi.Also at the same time one Imam asked me to buy Three volumes of Bukhari Shareef with Urdu translations.This book was there with me for 7 months before I was able to handover to its Owner.In that 7 months Allah Subhaanwataala blessed me with the knowledge of whats written in those books.This eventually cooled my mind.Maybe Allah Subhaanwataala liked that I accepted His prophets True Virtues without any proof and thats why He not only granted me sakina but also pearls of knowledge.

      When I say pearls and Ocean ,everytime I refer to Quran and Hadiths I imply to its vastness.Such is the vastness that more you cover the more belittle you feel.All the good advices and analogies brought to you in these comments are pearls.Pearls which we got through second hand knowledge.But people who got these pearls of knowledge had to actually do the work of Divers looking for pearls on ocean bed.That is extremely difficult task.Like how a diver has to hold his breath and go to bottom of sea bed and look for pearls, similarly these people hold their desires, carnal apetites and wills to get knowledge of Almighty and His works.And when a diver is inside water , he has to always hold his breath and exhale in controlled fashion , and keep on moving his limbs.Similarly Human beings, who wish to have sakina have to constantly keep their flame of Faith burning by giving it flame of belief without reasoning.They have to stick to Practices of Sunnah in a way that they dont get too much involved in pleasures nor stay clear of them.This is what is called Jihaad.
      Imagine what happens to a diver who looses his control when he is deep inside ocean, He perishes instantly and never comes back to surface.Similarly those people who take pleasures to extreme end cannot get close to Allah.How can we take pride in something which is granted to us, which temporarily belongs to us?Any Intelligent man/woman would go for something which is more lasting That is our Lord.

      Your questions regarding rights of woman to intimacy, feelings of jealousy in wives if their husbands get another wive or woman, are not incorrect.Right of man to have more than one wife as you questioned is acceptable till the limit that it has nothing to do with Allah, His Prophet and His companions.I would remind you once again by allowing this privilege to men, and asking women to be sincere to their other halves, Allah Rabbil Izzat tests the faith of those among the men and women who claim like us that we love Practices of Islam for ALLAH' SAKE.

      Jealousy ,craving for more,and inability to bear misfortune graceful are the traits which mostly women have.While attraction to opposite sex and wanting to mate is the basic instinct of men.Even our great great father Adam Alaihi Salaam was attracted towards the beauty of Eve Alaihi Salaam.there is no mention of Eve Alaihi Salaam having attraction for Adam alaihi Salaam in Akhbaars.It was only after Adam Alaihi Salaam went close to her ,that Allah ordered Him to pay Mehr by offering 10 Darud On Prophet Mohammed Sallallahu Aliahi Wa Sallam to ALLAH.And then Only Both could get Married in presence of Angels.

      Likewise we find that Eve Alaihi salaam was the major factor both of tehm being sent to Earth.You are a woman too.And you know that not many women are satisfied with what they have.

      I would say, I was created from nothing by Allah Subhaanwataala.It was His will that He made me a man and you a woman.And none of us Asked to be that.So if someone argues that men have such rights then tell me , first of all did that man had any right to choose and become Man on his own?That is all our Lord's will.And what commandments, prohibitions and decrees we are to accept and follow are only because I and You are casted as opposites.

      Sister, In Islam the amount of knowledge one can get is immense.how many of us would accept that Our beloved Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam ascended to Throne with His whole Body and soul.Our Faith is not Like Hazrat Abubakra Siddique RadiallahuTaala Anhu ,who accepted this fact the moment he heard it,his reply was: "Thats not a big deal for someone to whom heavenly verses come daily , that one day He Himself goes to heaven and comes back in split of a second."

      Sister you must understand the fact, that when a argument among scholar reaches the lines of common people it can have devastating impact. Our attempt to help you , by writing all this may help you and I am sure you will be going each of comment posted here.But there are people among us who come over here for a short while and if they do not read the whole post for some reasons then They will be in danger of having half knowledge which is extremely dangerous.Not all people stay awake whole night thinking about their faith, nobody has that much patience.So in a way its not wrong on editor's part to do away with which can be in his/her view dangerous.I personally would not mind my comments to be deleted after you have read it.

      May Allah subhaanwataala bless you with sakina , and may your child grow up as good muslim.Aameen.

      ALLAH Hafiz wa Nasir.

      • Walaikum assalam. I was distressed at reading negative things about the prophet pbuh and I did not want to think anything bad about him. That is why I posted my concerns so that someone could explain these things to me and help me understand and not think or feel bad. Like you I too have dealth with negativity and criticism of Islam by believing that Allah knows best and his prophet pbuh would not do wrong. However when I come across something in the Quran and Hadith itself or said by a knowledgeable muslim that makes me uncomfortable I want to learn more, understand it and hopefully eradicate my doubt and bad feeling. Your comments have been much appreciated. May Allah guide us all and forgive us our sins and mistakes.

        • Assalaam Walekum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu Sister,

          Your mentioning of "Walaikum assalam" in your reply pleases me more than anything else.As I know for sure that The words of our beloved Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam must have already acted in your favour: When someone greets you, greet Him /her back in words better than what you got.Make it a practice to greet with Salaam to people you know and you do not know.For whoever breaks the ice gets more closer to Allah Subhaanwataala than the one who replies back."

          Sister, advice given to you :

          "Try to look beyond someone's interpretation to see what the text actually says, then look further for alternative interpretations of the text.This is not picking and choosing what you want to believe, nor is it rejecting anything from Quran or Sunnah. This is sifting through the various interpretations until you find the one that you know in your heart is right, and is consistent with everything else that Islam has taught."

          I would say is a foundation stone required for anyone who is in pursuit of Allah Subhaanwataala' s closeness.

          I would like to share an example of my life with you in this matter:

          My elder brother is a daayee, and Alhumdulillaha he is sincere and dedicated to his task( Allah Knows Better). But only problem is that he belongs to a group who are not majority in my place and are considered wrong. As a concern I asked with regards to this to one of the Imaams .He replied by saying that my brother is on a doomed path. His reply was hard for me to accept as For last 10 years I was seeing my brother practising Islam( with not a bit of complacency) and also his dealing in day to day affairs and with others was in accordance with Quran and Sunnah( Allah knows Better). So I believed my brother more than the reply of my Imaam in this case.As our beloved Prophet sallalahu Alaihi Wa Sallam Has said that: "He would always prefer to take a path better of the two available."

          Once while I was at an airport , I happened to withdraw money from an ATM and the cash amount which I got was 5 times greater than what was debited from my account.On reaching home I consulted my Imaam , who replied:" If its a non muslim bank then there is no harm in using that money for my own purpose".I thanked him, and came out and donated that excess amount to someone needy, and asked to Allah Subhaanwataala to give the Sawaab of it to the rightful owner of that money. For my heart this was more appropriate to do and a better path.

          Sister in both instances I got verdict from Imaam which was right as per Shariah, and it would have been very much put into action by me if I had a dead heart, for I know I would have not been questioned by Allah Subhaanwataala as I followed His Saying:
          IF YOU ARE NOT SURE, ASK THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE KNOWLEDGE.

          I also respect My Imaam's verdict following reasons:

          1.Like in my brother's case if I was suppose to be Gifted with weak faith and knowledge( Alhumdulillaha for whatever it is I have got) ,one day in future I might ignore wrong doings of my brother , if at all he does something against Sunnah and Quran. Secondly, being with him endangers my own sticking to right path, If ALLAH DOES NOT HELP ME.Thirdly, Imaam must have thought me to be having less knowledge of Sunnah and Quran, as this is common among Muslim brothers and sisters at my place

          2.In ATM cash's case, he is not wrong as well as I had told him that its difficult for me to deposit money into that bank as there is no branch in my state. Also he must have been kind enough to think that every person is always in need of money , so if I was granted permission to spend it by him, that would help me to do away with guilt feeling.

          This is in line with the verse of Quran which says:

          THERE IS A KNOWLEDGEABLE PERSON ABOVE EVERY KNOWLEDGEABLE PERSON.

          ALLAH LOVES THOSE WHO ARE JUST, AND ARE MORE REFRAINING.

          So its a practice I follow that, everytime I have a issue which is putting me into dilemma Firstly, I ask the scholars and others for their advice.Then I scan the same with the whatever little good knowledge I have by the Grace of Allah.Then I act upon and believe on path which is better.

          As some Righteous man once said:

          Its easier to choose between right and wrong things.But its extremely hard to choose a better of two things which are good.Like wise its difficult to choose less bad thing of two which are bad.

          Sister, our fellow brothers and sisters and ourselves part of each others like gems in a necklace.If one gem comes out then necklace become marred.Perhaps that would be one of the reasons Our beloved Prophet advised us to stick with Congregation no matter how much indifferent one feels.For He said, If there is a space between SAFS of salaat, satan tends to occupy that and divide us.So we have to stand shoulder touching to other's shoulder.Also it is said, thoughts from Allah subhaanwataala and his inspiration have nothing to do with specific time.Its satan's work if one finds that he/she is occupied with certain thoughts in only a limited condition and times.As Allah subhaanwataala is free from all bindings, and is not limited, to inspire a person at any time of day and night.His ( Exalted is he) divine thoughts raise the level of sakina in a person, also his( Glorius is He) inspirations are repetitive and not stereotype.

          Sister no matter how much knowledge we common muslims acquire, but we cannot do without our Scholars, who know things in much depth.No matter what scholars are presently, and how contradictory their opinions are , this should not stop a common muslim to approach them and consult them.Or at the least we can respect them as our scholars for they know Quran by heart, which atleast I do not know.But nothing stops us from following opinion of only those ,who are more appealing to our hearts, in the light of Quran and Prophetic Traditions.And those who do not appeal nothing stops us except our own favoritism and ego to respect them for they hold lamp of Quran, although the density of illumination from their lamps is less. Isnt it that a lamp will illuminate a space depending on the amount of oil it has and quality of its burner?

          May Allah subhaanwataala the most knowledgeable of all Illuminate the lamps of heart in everyone of us.Aameen

          Allah Hafiz wa Nasir

          • As salamu alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh, Brother Mohammad Ali,

            Masha´Allah, I cannot say which one of your comments has got deeper on my Heart, I cannot stop crying when I see so much love and respect involved in all your answers, may Allah(swt) bless all your steps and guide you to what is the best for you. Ameen.

            As you say there is always someone more knowleadgable than us, thank you very much for bringing Light to my life. Jazak Allah Khair.

            All my unconditional Respect,
            María
            IslamicAnswer.com Editor

  13. i got married about a month ago after 10 years of engagement with my cousin for the sake of my family, we never talked much before as he said he was shy and hesitant. but even after a month he has not established any relationship with me. Being a girl I am still shy enough to ask him directly anything, i told my mother in law when she asked. His family says he is shy and confused. i don't have any way except to be patient and wait. besides i don't like him but i behave well with him. What should i do?

  14. IS ALEY RASOOL SAW NOT INCLUDED IN UMMAT

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