Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I recite Quran, Fast and wear Hijab but I don’t pray Salaah

muslim woman praying

"Guard strictly the Salah, especially the middle Salah. And stand before Allah with obedience.” (2:238)

Ok, so I fast, I read Quran and I wear a scarf but I have one thing. I dont pray. Some part of me wants to but I dont know. I try so hard to convince myself to pray, but if I pray for a day, the rest of the week or two days I don't.

I want to so badly, I just need a way to pray without struggling with myself.

~Muslim Girl 13

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28 Responses »

  1. Sister you must start a routine, much like yourself i didnt pray and didnt feel much need to, however for a month i forced myself and prayed my salah, i will tell you this, once you start a routine when you miss your salah you will feel guilty and will want to make it up whenever you can, the reason is that to begin with shaytan stops you and tells you to not bother, however once in a routine and you have become closer to Allah it is very hard for him to stop you, so i urge you to force yourself and you will feel the difference after starting a routine.
    i pray inshaAllah you develop the love of salah and reap the rewards from it.

  2. Sister Assalam Alikum,

    Prayer is a hard work and its not easy. I would start by making a list of all the ayats on prayer in the Quran and print it out. That way you will understand more about the prayer. Try reading 33 ways to attain khusu in your prayer. It will take a long time but if you make a commitment to keep reading around the topic of prayer in the Quran, read nafil salat to ask for help Allah, you will attain khusu in your prayer Inshallah. Bottom line is: It is hardwork but inshallah you will get there. Be patient and continue to learn around this topic.

  3. Salaam sister,
    the number one imp thing is even if u feel like not praying then just make wudu and stand in front of all Mighty i have sometimes observed that only struggling with wuzu makes very easy to pray,if you move one step further Allah swt will be 10 steps closer to you,even if your nafs says dont pray atleast make wuzu your mind will change InshaAllah...Even i started this way,my mom used to tell me for namaaz and i used to cry and offer salat coz i didnt like but someone explained its not b'coz of mother you are praying its for the CREATOR it shud come from the heart and one shud feel happy and pray...

    Its true what above stated that we feel guilt when we miss a single pray now when i cannot get up for fajar i feel like cryng that i missed that prayer and my whole day goes bad...Allah only helps those who really want to change and makes a step ahead just thinking and taking advices will not make a habit of praying,it is you who has to fight against yor nafs which will be tough in the starting but will be Ok soon InshaAllah.

    May Allah Guide us All and accept our Salaats.

  4. Salaam Muslim girl 13,

    I pray that Allah swt gives you the strength to keep up with your salat. MashaAllah you have already been given some good advice. (JazakAllah khair). All I will say is also try to start small as it's easier to keep up small. Start with one salat a day and nothing should make you miss that one salat. As sis Laibah said at each salat do your wudhu, even read some Qur'an. InshaAllah Allah will make you firm with that salat and you will start doing 2 a day etc and increasing.

    Another thing sis: review your intention. Think about why you want to pray and why you are making these efforts. Remind yourself it's for Allah swt and to please Him and no one else. Do this regularly my dear sister as Shaytaan tries to divert your intention to something else. And sister it will be a struggle - big changes like that are. But continue struggling and don't ever feel it's impossible - it's not. Shaytaan makes us feel like what's the point. Or he makes you feel so guilty that you think Allah won;t accept your prayers- not true.
    But that's not to say missing prayers is something light - but you need to channel that guilt and emptiness into positivity and improvement - not into despair.

    The more you struggle, the more reward you get and ultimately Allah swt will make you succeed in the end.
    So struggle sis, but dont give up.

    So make the intention to start praying all five for Allah swt. Start with one or two and be firm - do them every day. Only do your fardh - don't do sunnah at this stage. Sister when you are not praying do tasbih at the salat times instead. And ask Allah to help you - make dua to Him.

    I pray that Allah swt helps you with your salat, and accepts all of our salat from us.
    Ameen

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. sister

    One thing which could completely change you attitute towards the prayer is by knowing the one who doesnt pray is not a muslim.'iyathanbillah.

    you would rather give up reciting the qur'an and the hijab and fasting and thikr just for 5 daily prayers.

    i wish parents could just take the advice of the prophet[saww] and beat their children to pray by the age of ten and not give them any food whatsoever untill they get up to pray.and teach them by 7.
    if this was to happen, then it would become a part of daily life for the children to pray.

    • Alternately, parents could give their children such a loving and Islamically inspirational environment as the Prophet(sws) gave his children, that they would fall in love with the deen and pray salaah through their own will and desire.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Salaam'alayk

        I understand the prophet[saww] treated children kindly.
        However, when it comes to slacking in salaah, not being vigilant , there is no "loving" treatment for the kid as you said sister.
        the prophet[saww] said strike them, so it means beat, whether we like to beat children or not.

        I would beat children to memorise the quran and to fast and to wear the hijab anyday,
        because it WORKS!.
        it certainly works in my country.
        beating little children has alot of advantages including bravery in later life, courage, boldness, and alot of patience, children who face alot of hardship are worth 100s of their kind, and grow faster.
        on the other hand, children who are beaten alot do have phsycological hardships later on.

        Everyone should be carefull not to treat children with nothing but love, because wallaahi, that causes cowardice in them.

        • Abu-Az-Zubayr,

          Its interesting how so many parents like to skip the 'kindness' part and jump straight to 'harshness'. If parents employed the 'kindness, wisdom and firmness' to start with, there would be less need for the 'harshness and punishment'.

          Islam is such a beautiful religion that if we were taught it properly from a young age, we'd naturally become drawn to it - its part of our fitrah.

          SisterZ
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • every single human being has a choice to disobey, and the vast majority are natrally inclined to disobey what they are commanded to do, by their lord, ruler, parent, husband etc.
            even as young as two years old, when you give them a bottle to drink, they refuse as they desire, but when you shout at them, scare them, twist the ears then they will do as they are told.
            thats why harshness/violence is inevitable.

          • I disagree. You promote 'harshness', but don't even mention being 'gentle', almost as though you are frightened of showing any warmth to anyone.

            My nieces and nephews can be a handful as they are in their 'terrible twos', however I do not ever feel the need to shout at them, or twist their ears, or scare them - Allah forbid that I ever behave towards them like that. They are 'cheeky' which is normal, they 'resist' which is normal, they also listen - they listen and they copy good behaviour. Hence as they live in a healthy Muslim environment, they join in with Salaah and they are picking up on learning Surah Fatiha etc parrot fashion.

            My older 8 year nephew reads Salaah with me, sometimes leads the prayer and loves reading stories of the Prophet(sws). My older nephews read Salaah on time aswell, they fast their obligatory and their voluntary, they recite Quran and they learn about Islam. I have never felt the need to shout at them to do their ibaadah, they always do things themselves MaashaAllah, may they become even stronger.

            I can say without doubt that the loving, stable, firm and gentle parenting and family life they have had has contributed to their piety, maashaAllah.

            I agree that there are occasions when 'strictness' and 'enforcement' have to be used, but these should only have to be used if the above fails.

            Abu Az-Zubayr, I wonder why it is, that you come across as such a 'harsh cold' person?

            SisterZ
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Abu Az-Zubayr, I wonder why it is, that you come across as such a 'harsh cold' person?

            It is pretty obvious from the name !!

          • This is what I understand from the Question. Please correct me if I am wrong and forgive my mistakes.

            When I read the post again.. It is by a 13 year old sister who wants our help to help her pray. So her question is How can I obey Allah (swt)? or atleast thats what I think.

            Giving an answer like assume you are your dad and assume your daughter is a really bad person so force her to pray is not going to work. Just try to advise our beloved Sister.

            She says that she tries to pry but Nafs and Shatan are deciving her. So it is about training her nufs and building her knowledge, love of Allah so she can defeat Shatan. Enpower the sister with knowledge upon which she can act to get closer to Allah (SWT) which is her objective.

            Either you dont know that our deen has lots of information in training the nufs, heart, soul or you just want her get beaten up.

        • Shout at two year old children, twist their ears and scare them? Astaghfirullah. Do you imagine that this is the character of a Muslim? It's nothing more than abuse. Yes, it works, but what kind of people does it produce? It produces people who themselves are harsh and incapable of love.

          From the article, "Prophet Muhammad, a Mercy for Children". Read this and see the true character of a Muslim:

          The Prophet Muhammad ( صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم) loved to play with children. He made them stand in a straight line, then he himself stood at a distance, spread his hands and told the children, “Come running to me. Whoever touches me first will get a prize,” they would all come, running and breathless. When they reached the Prophet ( صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم), they would fall all over him. He enjoyed this sport, gave prizes of dates and sweets to the winners and hugged and kissed the participants. Ref[2]

          He used to kiss children and loved them very much. Once he was kissing children when a Bedouin came and said, "You love children very much. I have ten children and I have never kissed one of them." Muhammad replied, "What can I do if God takes away love from you?".

          The Prophet Muhammad (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم ) was always pleased to see parents loving and caressing their children. He once said, “When Allah blesses people with children, and they give their children love and meet their parental obligation, Allah keeps them safe from the fires of Hell.” Ref[2]

          Jabir bin Samra, one of his companions, reported an incident of his childhood. "Once I offered the prayer with God's Messenger. After the prayer, when he went towards his house, I went with him. We were joined by more boys, and he kissed them all and me too." When Prophet Mohammad SAW was entering the town of Medinah, after emigrating from Makkah, some young girls of the Ansar were singing with joy in front of their houses. When he passed by, he said, "O girls! You love me." All said, "Yes, O God's Messenger." Then he said, "I love you also.” Ref[3]

          Yusuf bin Abdullah said that when he was born his parents took him to God's Messenger for his blessing; he suggested the name, Yusuf, and put him in his lap. He patted him on the head and prayed for the
          Blessings of God for him.' Ref[3]

          Whenever the Prophet Muhammad (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم ) passed by children, he tried to be the first to greet them and say “Assalaamu Alaikum.” When riding he would let children sit on his camel or donkey.

          When children saw him, they came running. He greeted them warmly, picked them up, hugged them and kissed them. He loved giving them dates, fruits and sweets to eat.

          In some prayers, the Prophet (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم ) read long Surahs. But if he heard a baby crying, he would read a short Surah and say a short prayer. This helped the mother to take care of her baby.

          He used to get into the spirit of childish games in their company. He would have fun with the children who had come back from Abyssinia and tried to speak in Abyssinian with them. It was his practice to give lifts on his camel to children when he returned from journeys. Ref[4]

          Among the instructions given before the conquest of Makkah, one of the important ones was not to harm any child. Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم was worried for their safety and wellbeing even at a state of war. This shows the compassion he had towards children no matter what the situation was.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Denying anything which the prophet[saww] said, did, is major disbelief, and despising anything which the prophet[saww] came with, did, allowed, constitutes as major hypocrisy.

            so, i dont deny anything which the messenger of A l l a a h [s] brought.
            and it is good to treat children the way he did.

            i have seen that article before and the narrations are in adab al mufrad as well.

            i am not some sort of a saddist who subjugates those under him just to get a buzz out of it, that is cowardice and insecurity.
            some people like to beat children and kick them around out of impatience and anger, and others like to beat children for a purpose and in order to acheive a goal they want for the children.

            like for example Saffiah bint 'Abdulmutalib, the aunt of the propeht[saww].
            She [may A l l a a h be pleased with her] loved her son Zubair very very much.
            when her husband died, life got harder, so she thought about the best possible way to raise her baby, so he can turn out to be the best/most efficient possible person he could, she wanted him to grow up to be courageous and famously heroic, so what she did, was she treated him with such strictness roughness and toughness that it exposed her to critism from the paternal uncles of the orphan az-zubair [ra].
            his uncle went to her clan [banu hashim] and complained that saffiyah was giving the orphan a barbaric beating as if she hates her son, so they asked saffiah for the reason.
            and she who percieved that the strickness would make a gallant of a man answered with the lines of poetry:

            "To say i hate him is false and silly,
            i only beat him to be smart and witty,
            and to be ardent in wars and overcome his enemy,
            and to be generous and never hide his money,
            and not to remain hungry after eating some dates,"

            As for me, if i have children inshallah, i will be like the latter.

            and i understand the consequences of decisions.

          • Br so why are you denying the love and care Prophet had for kids. The hadith you are quoting does not say that the Prophet beat a child for not praying. If you dont know about the religion don't make if up as you go along

          • Br Abu Az-Zubair I think your advice is that Sister should join the Army. You want her to be a commando or special forces person. Below are the details regarding this incident. I don’t think Zubair was an ordinary child and this rule may not apply to every one.
            Safiyah (R.A.A.), the daughter of Abdul Muttalib, was an honorable companion of the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.). Her mother, Hala was the daughter of Waheeb and cousin of the Holy Prophet's (S.A.W.) revered mother Amina. In consanguinity, Safiyah (R.A.A.) was cousin as well as aunt of the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.), Hamza (R.A.A.) was her real brother.

            Safiyah (R.A.A.) married Haris bin Harb Umavi and a son was born out of this wedlock, Haris died after some time. Thereafter she married Awwam bin Khuwailid Qarshi Al-Asadi who was a brother of Khadija Kubra (R.A.A.) A son was born to them who was named Zubair, Awwam also died when Zubair was very young, She did not marry thereafter though young, and remained widow for the rest of her life.

            Safiyah (R.A.A.) brought up her son Zubair in a very disciplined manner. Her aim was to make him a brave and fearless soldier, very often she subjected him to hard work and sometimes beat him also, Once his uncle Naufil could not bear and asked her angrily, "Do you want tobeat him to death'!" He also requested the other members of the tribe to prevent her from beating the boy.

            Then Safiyah (R.A.A.) realized that the people had come to know of the fact that she beats her son, expressed her feeling and explained, "Whoever thinks that I beat Zubair with ill intention, he is mistaken. I beat him so that he may become wise and brave and defeat the army of the enemies and capture booty."

            Hafiz Ibn Hajar 'Aqalani in his book, "Isabah" relates that once Zubair (R.A.A.) had to fight, while he was still very young, with a very strong man. He broke his hand The people complained to Safiyah (R.A.A,), She replied, "How did you find Zubair, brave or coward?" Thus her training made her son very brave and courageous.

            When Almighty Allah chose Muhammad (S.A.W.) as his Prophet, he started preaching Islam. In the very beginning Safiyah (R.A.A.) and her sixteen year old son Zubair (R.A.A.) embraced Islam and became true companions of the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.), Safiyah (R.A.A.) was reckoned among those who were the fore-runners of the Islamic Movement , Zubair (R.A.A.) had great admiration and love for the Prophet of Islam (S.A.W.). When he was too young about 15 years old, he heard a rumor that enemies have either captured or martyred the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) he became restless, took out his sword and rushed towards the residence of the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) where he found him safe and sound. lie felt relieved of his agony and his face became cheerful. When the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) saw him with a naked sword in his hand, he (S.A.W.) asked him, "What's the matter, Zubair?" The latter replied; "0 Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.), may my parents be sacrificed upon you (S.A.W.). I heard a rumor that enemies of Islam have either captured or martyred you." The Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) smiled and asked, "Had it been so, what would have you done?" He replied zealously," O Messenger of Allah! I would have fought with Makkans till death."

            When the Prophet (S.A.W.) left Makkah for good, and migrated to Madina, Zubair was on a business tour of Syria While returning Zubair (R.A.A.) met the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) and Abu Bakr Siddiq (R.A.A.) on the way. He was very much pleased to see them and presented white dresses to the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) and Abu Bakr (R.A.A.) They put on these white clothes and went to Madina. Zubair (R.A.A.) bade them farewell and returned to Makkah,

            After a few days in Makkah, Zubair (R.A.A.) along with his mother, Safiyah (R.A.A.) and his wife Asma' (R.A.A.), daughter of Abu Bakr (R.A.A.), migrated to Madina. On the way they stayed at Quba for sometime, where his wife gave birth to a son named Abdullah bin Zubair (R.A.A.). The birth of this grandson of Safiyah (R.A.A.) has a great significance in the history of Islam, I)because the Jews claimed they had prevented the birth of any male child to the Muslims by their magical power So the Muslims were overjoyed at the birth of Abdullah (R.A.A) and chanted, 'Allah is great' very loudly.

            In Madina Safiyah (r.a.a.) lived with her son, Zubair (R.A.A.) and her daughter-in-law Asma' (R.A.A.) who looked after her very well.

            Safiyah (R.A.A.) had to face separation of her beloved son, while she was in Makkah, because when they embraced Islam, the Makkans, including Naufil became their enemies and oppressed them. Hence, under the instructions from the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.), Zubair (R.A.A.) joined a caravan of the Muslims and migrated to Habasha (Ethiopia). After three months they heard that the Makkans had embraced Islam. Therefore, they decided to return to Makkah. However, when they approached Makkah they learnt that the news was totally false. They found themselves in trouble and had no alternative but to seek the shelter of some chiefs of Quraish.

            Zubair (R.A.A.) took shelter of a Quraishi chief named Zam'aa bin al Aswad, Safiyah was pleased to sec her son again and thanked Allah for his safe return.

            Safiyah (R.A.A.) was a very brave and courageous lady In 3.A.H. when some disturbance took place in the battle of Uhud, she came out with a spear and put to shame those Muslims who were running away from the battlefield, She angrily remarked, "Are you leaving the Holy Prophet?" In that angry mood she proceeded towards the battlefield.

            Then the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) saw Safiyah (R.A.A.) coming towards the battlefield, he (S.A.W.) called Zubair (R.A.A.) and instructed him to take care of her so that she may not see the dead body of her brother Hamzah (R.A.A.).

            Hamzah (R.A.A.) got martyrdom at the hands of Wahshi bin Harb. To avenge the death of her father, Utbah who was killed during the battle of Badr by Hamzah, Hind had dropped off the nose and ears of Hamzah's (R.A,A.) dead body, She had also removed the liver after cutting open his stomach and chewed it.

            Zubair (R.A.A.) informed his mother of the decision of the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.). She at once understood the reason behind it. She said, "I know that my brother's dead body has been disfigured. It is unbearable for me, However, Allah willing, I shall have patience,"

            When the Holy Prophet became confident, he (S.A.W.) allowed Safiyah (R.A.A.) to see the corpse of her brother, Her eyes were filled with tears. On seeing the dead body in a miserable state she recited, "Inna Lillahe wa Inna Ilayhe Raje'oon", and stood stunned. After a little while she prayed for the salvation of his brother and burst into tears again. Seeing her weeping bitterly, the Holy Prophet could not control himself and his eyes too were filled with tears.

            While consoling her, he (S.A.W.) said, "I have been informed by Gabriel that in Heaven, Hamzah bin Abdul Muttalib (R.A.A.) has been called the 'Lion of Allah' and the 'Lion of the Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.)'."

            Safiyah (R.A.A.) was also a poetess, She has written interesting and lucid poems. She has also composed heart touching elegies. When she saw the dead body of her brother, Hamzah (R.A.A.), she recited an elegy, a couplet of which is rendered here in English.

            Today, you had seen day with dark sun through it was shining brilliantly before.

            She also wrote an elegy in memory of her late father, Abdul Muttalib. The English version of the same is.

            "At night a wailing woman made me cry, She was wailing at brave man; My tears came upon my cheeks like pearls I pity the death of this brave man who was not bad and his fame had spread everywhere. He hailed from a noble family and was very generous who helped people in famine Had there been a lasting life owing to his greatness But there is no way for lasting life otherwise that brave man would have lived longer owing to his nobility and gentle manliness.

            The Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) and Safiyah (R.A.A.) loved each other very much because they were brought up together in the same house, Therefore, when the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) away from this world, in 11 A.H. she was deeply shocked. The English version of a few verses of the elegy composed on the occasion is:

            "0 Messenger of Allah, thou wert our hope, Thou wert our benefactor and not ill-wisher Thou wert merciful, guide and teacher Today, every one must weep upon thy demise.

            May I, my mother, uncle, aunt and maternal uncle and my wealth be sacrificed upon thee.

            Alas! had Allah kept our master amongst us We would have been fortunate, But the commandment of Allah is final, May Allah bless thee and grant abode in Heaven.

            Safiyah (R.A.A.) hailed from a noble family. She was respected by all She was a very brave and courageous lady. Her services to the cause of Islam and the Muslims can never be forgotten.

            During the battle of Ahzab (Ditches) in 5 A.H., all infidels and Jews of Arabia had united and launched attack on the center of Islam – Madina. The rebellious Jews of Banu Quraizah were after the lives of the Muslims. It was a very critical time for the Muslims. But they lost no courage. They sacrificed their lives and wealth for the sake of Ash and were determined to fight against the enemies of Islam until death.

            At this critical situation, it was essential to protect women and children from the evil designs of the enemies within and the Jews of Banu Quraizah. Therefore they were shifted to the Fort of Fara'a by the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) and Hassan bin Sabit was appointed as their guard.

            Though the Fort was very strong, yet it was not free from danger. The Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) with all his companions was busy in defending Madina from the enemies of Islam. There was no barrier between this fort and the area of Banu Quraizah, One day a Jew happened to come this way, who tried to assess the situation in the fort. By chance, Safiyah (R.A.A.) noticed him and at once realized that he was a spy. And if he went back and informed the Jews of Banu Quraizah of the fact that there are only women and children in the fort, they might attack. Therefore, she asked the guard Hassan (R.A.A.) to kill that Jew. But he expressed his inability, perhaps owing to his physical or mental weakness caused by some disease that he had suffered from. It is also related that on this occasion he replied to her, "Had I been in a position to fight with this Jew, I would have accompanied the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) at this juncture,"

            After receiving an unfavorable reply from Hassan (R.A.A.), that bold lady came forward, pulled out a pole of the tent and hit on the head of the Jew who fell and died on the spot. After killing that Jew she ordered Hassan (R.A.A.) to chop off his head, but again he showed his reluctance Finding no alternative, Safiyah (R.A A.) herself cut off his head and threw down the fort.

            When the Jews of Banu Quraizah saw the head of their fellow, they concluded that a battalion of the Muslim army was present in the fort, Therefore, they had no courage to attack.

            According to another report, the noble lady asked Hassan to remove the belongings from the dead body of the Jew hut he replied that he did not wish to have them.

            Thus Safiyah (R.A.A.) thwarted the impending danger through her courage and valor and saved the Muslim women and children from the mischief of the Jews.

            This noble Muslim lady passed away at the age of 73 years during the caliphate of Umar Farooq (R.A.A.) and was buried in the graveyard of Baqie She will be remembered in the Muslim Ummah until the Day of Judgment.
            http://elazhar.com/encyclopedia/Chapter1-7.htm

        • It is abuse to beat your children.
          A hit if they are being extremely bad is one thing (provided it is not on the face) but beating your children! Astaghfirullah! I find your comments quite shocking to read brother.

          Furthermore, beating and harshness actually doesnt work. Its also important to note that beating and disciplining are too completely different things. Not beating your children does not mean you are over-soft or are unable to discipline your children.

          In fact I have seen this in action. I met a woman who used to be harsh with her child. She scared her, shouted at her and in a few cases hit her a few times. Her child was one of the most badly behaved children - she bullied other kids. Her mother complained about it but really it was her own fault. The child learnt that this harsh behaviour is 'normal' from her mother and treats others the same.

          So if your going to beat your children and treat them with harshness Abu Azubayr, expect them to treat others the same. Including you when you are old and weak.
          Yes it's wrong but children learn from their parents so they will imitate you, even in adulthood.

          Expect good behaviour and piety from your child and you will get it. Expect bad behaviour from your child and you will get it. The best way to teach your kids to pray is without a doubt to instill love of Allah swt in their heart from a young age. Let them see you pray and they will want to copy you. Avoid getting them any game console or such until they are much older - and have fun with them. This way they will respect you and grow to love Islam.

          But if you beat them to pray - they will resent you and resent Islam.

          As part of my course I have had to observe lessons, and generally discipline and do you know what I noticed. The teacher that had the most control over the kids was softly spoken, and kind and approachable. But he used good discipline techniques - and would show that actions have consequences. He wouldnt let bad behaviour slide. The same students in another lesson with another teacher ran riot. This teacher was harsh, shouted and he was sarcastic.

          What Im trying to say is there are lots of ways to discipline. Taking away toys, showing disappointment. The early years especially of a child's life are so important in shaping them. If they find you harsh and cold, how do you expect them to open up to you? When they're teens and struggling to stay onthe right path - they need someone to talk to. Rest assured it wont be you if you are unapproachable.

          Seen lots of adults who had parents like that - they went behind their parents back. Now they do what they like. So think very carefully how you treat your children. And follow the e.g of the Prophet SAW

          Sara
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Wael and Sara,

            Thank you for your comments here. I was getting a little of tired replying to Abu Az-Zubayr's comments, as this is not the first time he has attempted to promote harshness and violence.

            ***

            Abu Az-Zubayr,

            As for your attitude, I think its very sad. The Prophet(SWS) said: "A Muslim is one whose hands and tongue do not hurt other Muslims." (Bukhari and Muslim)

            Abu Hurairah relates that once the Prophet(sws) kissed Hasan, son of Ali and that Aqra Ibn Habis was sitting there. On noting this he said that he had ten sons yet he had never kissed any of them. The Prophet(sws) remarked: "One who is devoid of mercy is not shown any mercy." (Bukhari and Muslim)

            May Allah soften our hearts.

            SisterZ
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Salam,

          "beating little children has a lot of advantages including bravery in later life, courage, boldness''

          Thought provoking! Then we wonder why there are extremists who kill in the name of religion.

          Islam= love. Teach Islam with love not the stick and ridicule.

          Allah Yahdina,

          Reader

  6. Asalaam alaikum,

    It's not true that avoiding prayer negates you being Muslim. This is a tricky statement, because right away it affects people to respond in the negative, but bear with me for a moment. By merely reciting shadatain, you are Muslim. The issue comes in what kind of Muslim are you?

    In the practical and physical sense, you are at the first level of belief. You accept Allah (swt) and His Messenger, but you have not gone beyond this level. This level, I'm afraid to say, is a stage that involves apparent hypocrisy.

    We see this in other people who are Muslim, but eat pork and drink alcohol, people who will eat any meat without it being halal, etc., etc. They are also known to be in the state of hypocrisy, but also classified as a Muslim.

    By missing prayer, everything else loses it's purpose due to one reality: your salaat is your offer of worship and your door that you knock at when talking, begging or requesting from Allah (swt). Without this worship, you have closed the door on yourself.

    It's important to realize that just because you are a Muslim, nothing is guaranteed to you. Not heaven, for sure, but not deep belief, either. Allah (swt) says in the Qur'an, Surah Al-Ankaboot, 29:2:

    Do men imagine that they will be left (at ease) because they say, We believe, and will not be tested with affliction?

    Your trial right now is offering your prayer. And you must recognize that as each prayer that you miss goes by, you are held to account of it. You need to understand why you are Muslim and that what is asked of you is small in comparison of what you do every day in disobedience instead. For all the excuses and remorse you feel about missing prayer is actually more trouble and work than actually praying.

    Think of it this way: you get up every morning, use the bathroom, brush your teeth, shower, groom yourself and get properly dressed. Do you do it to be presentable to others? Yes. So why can't you offer your prayer to be presentable to Allah (swt) every day and the most important day of your life: the Day of Judgement?

    Understand that Allah (swt) will neither implore you to pray, but will make you understand the realities of not praying. You are beginning to realize that.

    Unlike the others, I will not say to start off slow, because your day is actually quite long and right now, you need to perform the act of obedience and achieve deeper levels on understanding later on. To do this, find some good people who pray and join them for prayer daily. Ask a friend to pray with you or to lead you in prayers. Find a few regular prayer partners and make it one of the purposes of being their friends.

    You need support and this is the best way. Talk about prayer with them, what it means to you both and how you can improve your lives by observing what Allah (swt) wants of you.

    Try this and see if it helps.

  7. AA;

    I guess you can try different things:
    - Try to keep group prayer usually that helps.
    - Try to always be ready for prayer (you r wearing Hijab already, so try to stay with Wudu) when you are alwasy ready, it makes it easier to just pray. It is for me.
    - Never give up, keep trying.
    - ALWAYS keep in mind how important prayers are and how we should do them on time. Keep reminding your self about the importance, and the connection with Allah, and inshallah it will become easier for you to do and keep on track.

    May ALLAH guide you, grant you patience and shower you with his mercy.

    If I am correct, it is from ALLAH. If I err it is from me, and I pray ALLAH forgives me.

    AA

  8. Asalamu aleykum, you should start off just praying at least one or two of the salahs a day, make wudhu and put on socks so the rest of the day you can make wudhu over those socks, you have to try and build it up from now because you're going to be growing into a full woman very soon insha Allah! 🙂

    Once you manage to at least pray once or twice a day, then start praying the third too, then the fourth then before you know it you will be praying all five salahs on time insha Allah! 😀

    keep up praying the five salahs for a while then when you're ready start adding on from the 12 sunnah prayers, start with 2 before fajir because it's better than this world and everything it contains, then pray the 4 before dhuhr then the 2 after maghrib and 2 after isha, then keep that up, these sunnah salahs act as a protection for your main salahs because its more common that somone who prays their sunnah salahs would pray their faraidh 🙂

    also pleaaase remember that the first thing Allah asks us about is the salah 😀 so keep a good record, you're young so don't waste this chance! If you can't pray the salah when your a young healthy (insha Allah) kid then why would it be any different when you become older (when you start getting busy with work, studies family etc.) 🙂 may Allah help you sister 🙂

  9. Assalamualaikum ,
    Sister try praying little by little by which I mean when it's the time for prayer and you start thinking that you don't feel like praying immediately stand up go and do Wudu and think of it as a war between you and shaytaan .
    Definitely shaytaan wants to take you away from Allah (s.w.t) and you wan to be near to your Deen . So think as if you are not planning to give way to shaytaan in your life.
    Once you do Wudu you will feel some urge and change and the desire to stand infront of your Lord .
    Start by praying the fardh only so you can concentrate and develop your habit of praying regularly and on time .
    Perform the maximum number of prayers and inshallah once you start praying and start feeling the peace in connecting with Allah you will feel like lost or lonely when you miss your prayer .
    Inshallah I'll also pray for you.
    Masalaam

  10. AsSalaamuAlaykum.. i just want you to know that Making Salah is as easy as sleeping and breathing you will see that if you stay consistent eventually you will notice your body even wakes you up in the morning for Fajr. and once you do it all the time make Salah you will see just how easy it becomes you actually get used to it...what i did to make myself pray Salah was stopped thinking Negative the more you tell your self you love it you actually hypnotize yourself into loving it that's self hypnosis if you tell yourself over and over again anything you start to believe it and what is better than that is to make your self believe you love to perform Salah?

  11. Sister, you have to look at salah; prayer as an essential part of living. You need to pray for the sake of Allah, just as you need oxygen for the sake of breathing, water to quench your thirst, and food to give your body nutrients. Your spirituality, state of mind, also needs to be maintained. You get that through your 5 daily orayers, which in actual fat also keeps you away from haram. Since you know you have to pray and you look forward to do so, it is diffivult to fill in the spaces between with something that will upset Allah from you.
    Therefore prayers, salah is one of the most important basis of the Religion.

  12. Hello i want a help from you,I have a periods problem i have periods for more then ten days so i want to know that if i am having periods for more then 10 days so tell i can do salat read quran and fast even with periods please reply on my email Thank you Asma

    • Asma, you are exempted from praying and fasting during your period and in fact you are not allowed to do so. You can still recite Quran from memory or read it without handling the text (from a computer screen, for example).

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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