Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Need urgent advice on my marriage life

muslim-woman

Peace be on to you my brothers and sisters

plz need an advice from you

I have been married for 5 years to my cousin and I have two kids for him , but things have never been alright in our marriage since day . The problem is that he's a very aggressive guy , and he has always treats me like a maid instead of a wife maybe it becoz I was raised by his mom . He always beats me up like a slave or a child and he has no respect for me , he has never visited my family, he doesn't give me sex when I want but he takes it when ever e want . After living a suffering life for five years like this  , few days ago he beats me up so I decided to leave the house . Now that I have done so and told my parents everything they still wants me to go back to him and give him a second chance, but I don't want to do that because I do not love him anymore but my family is putting pressure on me and everyone else is doing the same to me telling me that if I do not give him a second chance I will be cause by Allah for not listening to my parents and not giving him a second chance. But I don't really want to go back .

thank u all for ur good advice

Aissatou

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5 Responses »

  1. Aslaamualikum sister,

    Dont go back to him sister!!!! Ur perents and evryone alse are being selfish and crule peopel. They are sending u back to him not bcaz of islam or for ur happyness only for thier "respact" in socity. And the proof is that they are emotionaly blackmailing u by saying u will be cursed by allah for not listing to ur perents or not giving him anther chance. I dont understand how come some perents be soo selfish and crul towards their own children espicialy doughters.. 🙁 May allah show them the right path..

    5 years are alot to suffer somones abuse. If i were u i would leave in the first year. Ur a human being not an animal.. if cant respact u or give u ur rights then no point of going back to him.

    Secondly talk to ur husband and see wht does he want??? Is he ready to change?? Does he wants u back??? Is hesorry for his wrong actions??? IF NOT then please sister never ever listen to ur perents or anyone alse and put ur self back in that hell. Never let anyone blackmail u emotionaly and take advantage of u for their own selfishness not even ur perents!!!

    IF he wants u back and hes searious. Then i would say give him a secound chance. After giving him chance if he goes back to his old self and hit u or ur kids then LEAVE imiditly and never go back to him again. Even if he tell uto.. lastly sister make ur dicesions ur slef dont let anony spoil ur life by emotionaly blackmailing u. Listen to ur heart pray salatul istiskhara and ask allah to help u.

    May allah help u and give ur husband hediyath

  2. Salam,

    No one deserves to be treated and abuse in such a manner, Allah would never want you to be unhappy. Do not listen to your parents or anyone else who tells you to go back to him. Try to stand on your own feet and take care of your self. Pray and ask Allah to make this easy for you and give you a way out of the situation.

  3. I agree with the two comments fro the sisters. Please don't go back you already gave so many chances to him 5 years is long enough. You deserve better and don't allow your family to
    Blackmail you into going back. Same happened to me and at the end I got divorce which is a lot a lot. Remember Allah doesn't want to see you suffer you deserve someone who is good for you and your children. I don't believe a man like this will change!! Good women are for good bad and Vic versa

  4. Asalam alukum sister i can tell u out of personal experience i have suffered for 8 years i guess u wake up everyday thinking he will change men like this never change i have been mentally physically abused for so long i suffer from post traumatic stress disorder due to this i have a 3 year old daughter its really difficult but if he really loves u he should take responsiblity for what he does and change maybe go on a domestic violence prepartrator programme or something its really difficult because your self confidence gets shattred remember theres no barrier between u and Allah and Allah loves u i will pray for u make Allah make it easier for sisters suffering like this

  5. Dear Sister,

    Imaan12 writes "Remember there's no barrier between you and Allah."

    This is very true....please take the advice given above and remember that Allah loves you more than your parents.

    Hugs,

    Nor

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