Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Need your Help!!!

Asalamo alikum!!

after completing my education my father wants me to marry my cousin. i dont  like him and he also dont likes me infect he likes my sister. he was uneducated. he said no t his parents once my aunty told me about his refusal. i also said no to my father. but he waited 4 years nd used to say me that they have no other rishta or option for me.

 meanwhile i started talking to my school fellow. just general discussions after 1 year i started fallen for him he too. but we never talked about it we were just friends , good friends. after waiting 4 years when my family pressurized me that you have to marry your cousin i told them that i love someone. i also talked to my friend he said he is in love with me too but he needs sometime for his good job then he will send his parents.

my cousin got married with another girl. my father refused to talk with my friend or anyone related to him because his caste is different. its been 2 years he got very handsome job  & finally told his parents about me his parents came to my house and after meeting they have the same issue "Caste".

we both don't know what to do now ,we could not marry without our parents will. plus we have deep feeling about each others even i can't think about any one else i know its haram but i am unable to control myself, so worried and depressed my younger sister got married last year. in my whole family all my cousins , friends colleagues re married. i can not think my life without him but i love my father too he is the best-est father on planet. please help me 🙁


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3 Responses »

  1. its very simple..
    You asked your parents before you make me marry with my cousin please meet him or his family once.
    and when he will come tell him every details how your parents prefer a guy for u ok?
    then while he will gone then you asked your parents one question that abbu and ammi i dont know if you found anything wrong about him but one thing i am clearing you that if you force me to marry with my cousin i may do it for you who gave birth me or who raised me in this world after ALLAH and our Rasool it is your place (no doubt) but, if i won't be happy with myself with my cousin that you chosen will you be happy with my unhappiness too? whenever u will ask me about my happiness i will tell you i m not happy with him and it will appear on my face clearly but if you perhaps force me to marry him who's also does't like me as well. there will be nothing but 3 lifes will be like hell.. my cousin who will be my husband won't be happy with me. neither i and neither whom i love. that's it.. if you want to understand now then please reconsider it or you may will understand it later but after when 3 life will be ruined. thats it sister.. In sha ALLAH ...

  2. Salamu Alaykum

    In islam there is no such thing like 'caste'.
    We are all brothers and sisters and we are all equal.

    Best of luck.


  3. Assalamo alaikum. You both need to stop contact with each other. If you are both meant for each other then this marriage will happen, despite all hurdles. If not, you both need time to mentally adjust to the reality of living life without each other. I'd say to part ways with him in an amiable way. Definitely it will take time for you to recover, but time is the best healer. Try to keep your self busy in your career and move forward. Remember Allah at all times and count your blessings. Also remember that life after marriage is completely different, even if you feel you know and love a person from before, after marriage you have to completely re know a person again, and at that time his family plays a great part in your adjustment ( not saying it should be this way) if they have a grudge against you , it could have been very hard for you to adjust in married life. Think of it this way, perhaps Allah is saving you from a thorny path that just seems rosy.

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