Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Negative Istekhara

English Translation of the Dua for Istikhaarah

Dua for Istikhaarah

Asslamoalaikum

I am a 30 year old single Pakistani woman. My match was fixed with a decent man (nephew of my uncle's wife) last month and due to some family problems , our wedding was called off.

I have been praying istekhara , i did it twice. I was doubtful and confused about the marriage, and I wasn't physically attracted to my fiance. I prayed istekhara and in my dream i saw the faces of my parents- sad and ashamed,, i was asking them the question -"why", i also saw three boxes in which lay 3 babies, (i am not sure they were dead or alive- but since they were in closed boxes- it felt like a bad sign) Next morning I woke up scared, and tensed- i asked my parents to do a background check of the man i was going to marry.

Everything came out to be good. I put my fears to rest, and started preparing for the wedding. But at the back of my mind, I was restless. Even though they are practising muslims, God-fearing people, I was not sure. I prayed again- this time I dreamt of a bride in Red and a woman in Burqa (black). As iv read istekhara is not about the signs/colors but about the feeling that we get to go ahead , so I didn't rely in the colors. But I was scared about the wedding, I felt I couldn't connect with my fiancé, i felt this marriage would be doomed. Some family issues rose between senior members, and the wedding was called off.

Was it right? I sometimes feel that dreams that I saw could also be an influence of Shaitan. I feel ashamed for turning down the proposal of humble muslims.or is it the path shown by Allah swt himself. Maybe I was not right for him or he was for me. I pray to Allah for forgiveness , for I was crowded by doubts regarding the rishta. Please give guidance.

Suraiya Sheikh

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2 Responses »

  1. seems like you donot want to marry

    istekhara is to remove your doubts and concerns, not to become more confused.

  2. Salam sister, i advise you to visit a sheikh or to pray istikhara one more time and this time tellhim. Also, if the groom is religious and of good conduct or character then marry him, but if he looks shady or bad or have immense doubt then postpone the marriage till you find the perfect time or one and also looks aren’t everything.

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