Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I had negative Istikhara and want to see it again

Muslim man sitting in prayer

Assalam Alaikum...

I want to know that, if istikhara comes negative then how much time is required to see the istikhara again?

Actually I like a girl who is the niece of my friend. The girl and I like each other very much, and fallen in love but did not go beyond the limits of shariyah, both the families are also agree to make the relation.

In this concern, first of all my friend brought a proposal of his niece to me, then the same night he saw a nightmare. Then he discussed to me and I said go through Istikhara and make discussions with your senior members of family. Then they did Istikhara in which they found the negative results.  Not exactly they got the points of refusal but only they had some hints like bad smell, or fireball.

Please let me know how much time is required to see the Istikhara again as already its been over 100 days passed. I love her very much and I don’t want to lose her and also refer me some dua’s or wazaif which can make a difference, as Allah’s says only dua can change one’s fate nothing else. So please do something for me.

- ahmedsoloman

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12 Responses »

  1. Praise be to Allaah.

    The basic principle is that if a woman receives a marriage proposal from a man whose religious commitment, attitude and trustworthiness are satisfactory, then she should accept, so long as there is not another offer from one whose attitude and religious commitment are better. So if the one who has proposed marriage to you meets these criteria, and he is keen to learn more about Islam as you say, then this is a good sign. But if the shortcomings to which you refer in your question are major sins or sins in which he is persisting or committing openly, then we advise you to wait for someone better, so long as there is no risk of you doing something haraam or exposing yourself to greater fitnah (temptation).

    It is not necessary in the case of istikhaarah to feel something specific afterwards. Rather if you consult people and think deeply about the matter, and it becomes clear to you that this matter will be beneficial both in religious and worldly terms, then you should pray istikhaarah and go ahead, and not wait for a sign or a dream or a feeling. You should rather put your trust in Allaah and go ahead after praying istikhaarah
    Beware of being alone or of uncovering in front of this man who is still a non-mahram to you.

    Allah knows best

  2. Brother, please understand that Allah (swt) has not told us to make our decision on base of dreams but he has given us brain to think and logic to understand. U like her and she likes u and ur families are agree that is important not
    the dreams they have seen. Istikhara is not only seeing dreams its not always the case to see a dream
    after doing istikhara. Istikhara means to seek goodness from Allah(swt) when one intends to do an important task and one request Allah(swt) to guide him if this task is better for hem or not? And if its for ur goodness then Allah(swt) makes it easy for u to happen.

    Don't belief in these dreams they are just dreams and everyons sees dreams. No one can say that their dreams are the answear to their istikhara they may have nothing to do with the istikhara. Don't depend on others istikhara and dreams but u should self do istikhara and also ask the girl to do it and u can repeat it up to 7 times and after that if u still dont have any
    dream follow ur heart. If the family of the girl still reject u because of their dreams don't give up but give them
    logical reasons. Forexample, ask them that how can they claim that their dreams are the answer to their istikhara? can they prove it?

    • Very good points Ayesha. You've been hitting them out of the park (umm, that's an American baseball reference meaning you've been doing great, lol) with your answers lately.

      Wael Editor

    • Salaam Sr. Ayesha,
      I asked a scholar yesterday and he mentioned that we can do istikhara as many times as we want. There is no limitation of 7 times.

  3. Assalamu Aalaikum..according this question and sister Ayesha mention 7 there a prove from our beloved Muhammad(pbuh) that He(pbuh) did it seven times as well

    • There is nothing from Quran or Sunnah that says 7 times specifically, or a limit of 7 times. The scholars have simply pointed out that if you are praying istikhara repeatedly for the same issue, that might indicate a lack of faith and trust in Allah's guidance. So they suggested a limit of 7. But it is not mandatory.

      There is no need to pray istikhara again and again for the same issue. Pray, then choose your course of action, and trust that Allah is guiding you in response to your dua'.

      Wael Editor

  4. main ny istikhara kiya 5year phaly to ans no mai aya main ny khawb wala ni kiya tha and na dua pari the.........wo ya tariqa tha 7 small page par ni likha tha and 7 par han likha tha.... and phr mix kr di..... then 14 nafal pary 2 nafal k bad 1 parchi side par rakhti jb 14 nafal k bad 7 page ho gy phr opn ki .......... nai k page zeyada thy..... kia ya tariqa tk ha......................................mj samj ni ari kia karn bz us wakt main FA ki student the atni samjdar ni the warna na karti 5 year yei dua ki usy mery haq main best bana dy ....... i m very confused ......... bz I love her very much and I don’t want to lose her and also refer me some dua’s or wazaif which can make a difference, as Allah’s says only dua can change one’s fate nothing else. So please do something for me.

    • Hira,

      Your comment was unclear. But from whatever I could make out, the method you mention is wrong. For performing Istikhaarah, you will need to perform two Rakaa'aat of Nawafil and then recite the du'a of Istikhaah. You can refer to the links on top of this page.

      For further advise, please login and submit a separate post.

      Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  5. i had a proposal from a religious man i did istikhara it was negative but so how my parents accepted the proposal because of his attitude and satisfied character.NOw its been three months of my engagemnt.. Days ago due to some personal issues and family problems my parents realized that i will not be able to live happily afterwards (after marriage).I am really confused is it because my istikhara came out negative?? or i shud done it again ??
    i heared from some where that if istikhara comes negative than their would be cmplications in the task following the istikhara.....
    i need guidence from some scholar its urgent pleaseee repond me ...
    jazaakALLAH KHAIR

    • sana, what does this mean that your istikhara "came out negative"? What caused you to make this determination. You have not said how you feel. Do you wish to marry this man? Do you feel good about it? Does he seem like a good man?

      There is a lot of ignorance and superstition regarding Istikhara. Please read our articles to understand it better.

      Wael Editor

    My Problem Is I love one girl and Her family are from different village and we are in a relationship with 3 yrs and we both want to get marry. But she is scared to tell her parents Coz they hurt her so much. Now she is Saying it's Impossible to marry each other. So we decided to pray ishtekaara and she got negative results nd i also did but i cant sleep plzz brother help me i love her so much nd I don't want to loose her...plzz guide me what to do or should we broke our relationship or I will see that any other is getting married with my Love..plzzz help me brother plzzzz,

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