Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Negative istikhara but we still want to get married

love non muslim

i want to mary parents did istikhara . it was performed by mufti saab.. and the answer came no...but i still want to marry him..even hes craving for me...we both want to live with each other..
is there any other way to get married with parents permission...???
my mom wants me to get married but my dad hates him including his family...
Can i lie to my dad saying that i ve done istikhara and the answer came yes...??
i.know is not da right way but still i want him....i dont want to live without him...
please help me with this..

Ur Sister

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8 Responses »

  1. Sister.

    Please read how to do iistikhara. There is no mufti or sheik or anyone that can give you a yes or no. That is purely cultural made up belief that people seem to follow.

    You have to do the itikhara yourself, and see how you feel after. You have to consult Allah on this decision.

    You need to talk to your parents about this young man and how they feel about him, his character, his deen, his behaviour towards you and if he is a good spouse. Your parents have to make a decision for themselves and ignore all these ideas that you have to consult a mufti. Please educate yourself and your parents and make decision if he is a good husband,,not because you have feelings for him now.

  2. Salam,

    Sister, only you can perform Istakhara for yourself. Your parents, and no one else can perform Istikhara on your behalf.


  3. fake mufti's astugfirullah!!

  4. Salam sister,

    No one can do YOUR istikhara for YOU. Even if its a mufti praying, it does not count. He does not know your situation as well as you do. I suggest you and the boy both separately do your own istikharas for a month or so, and try to see if negative or positive things happen between two of you or in life in general. If its negative things happening, like a big fight or something, then take it as a sign and leave the boy alone. If its positive, then nothing could take that boy away from you because he was made for you!

    InshAllah it all works out,

  5. Dear Sister,

    As far as I know Istikhara in the case of marriage can only be done by you and your parents.

    You can do it because you want to get married and are seeking guidance from Allah.

    Your parents can do it because they have to make the decision whether they want you to get married to that person or not so they can seek guidance from Allah regarding that.

    Also, the result of Istikhara is not always in a dream. So please do Istikhara not once but as much as you want. Maybe for a week or so. And proceed with the marriage. If Allah does not want it to happen then you will find obstacles in your way, and if Allah wills it then your marriage will proceed smoothly.

    May Allah give you a loving spouse.

  6. assalm o alikum,
    It's been more than a week I have posted my issue and its not being answered please help!


    • Assalaamualaikam

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  7. Dear Sister

    A successful marriage does not always need istikhara but rather the suitability and sincerity of the two persons involved. You have to answer two questions

    1. Is he suitable for you? I mean can he take care of you right now or some years later? Can you wait for him?

    2. Do you love him sincerely and no one else and ready to face the hardships of life steadfastly with him?

    If you can find the answer of above questions then you really do not need to go for istikhara at all.

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