Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Nikah advice

Performing Nikkah

I am wanting to get married I'm over 35 and never married before. Both my parents have passed away and I have no uncles or grandparents. My brother does not approve of the person I wish to marry. I have spoken to three different Imams the last one said that he would perform the nikha if I have 3 male witnesses. I do not have any witnesses and all my cousins have taken my familys side and will not support me.

I understand the requirements of a nikha (read previous posts) I want my marriage to be legal in every sense. I understand that family is important for a women when entering into marrige but I have to consider what's best for me and my future.
I have duties and obligations as a muslim women the person I've chosen is able to support me, practices his faith.
I do not want a secret nikha, do I just tell my family and go ahead with the nikha?
I want to protect my rights, I don't believe my future husband would take advantage he knows my situation and wants my family to be involved.

I have refer to the Hanafi ruling concerning marriage for a mature women.

My question is if I marry without family present or aware is that classed as a "secret nikha"?

Amber123


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3 Responses »

  1. Asalaamu Alaikum,

    Although I am not a scholar, I believe you need a scholarly verdict on whether this is allowed or not from the Hanafi School of thought. You can pose your questions on the SeekersHub website http://seekershub.org/form/view.php?id=31 which has a very reliable Q&A section answered by qualified scholars from various different schools.

    You most certainly will get a reliable answer from a knowledgeable person there and view some of the previous answers that may relate to your scenario. http://seekershub.org/ans-blog/

    Make dua, perfrom the prayer of need, and ask Allah to change the hearts of your remaining family members for the better. InshaAllah

  2. As Salaamu Alaykum

    The problem is your Brother is your Wali and why is your Brother against the marriage?
    What did he says,what is the reason that he is against the marriage?
    and does the man who you want to marry pray 5 Times and follow the Islamic rules?
    and one thing.Your Brother is your Wali but he have not the right allways to block the marriage,if there is a Islamic reason ,than he is right but if it is now because of the Man(who you want to marry) his status(because he is not Rich or not the same caste) than he make a sin and is definelly wrong and he have to let you marry,because he can not make Halal to Haram and best ist try to talk to your Brother again and if he still dont want to let you marry you have to go to a Mufti,that he give a Fatwa,but only if there is no other way.
    (but that you know,I dont belong now to that site,but a Muslim have to help a other Muslim and Iam from the Hanafi -fiqh/madhab.

  3. The answer to your question differs based on whether your family is Muslim or not. If they refuse to on the basis that they don't want you marrying a muslim then it's not really a secret marriage.

    If they refuse on the basis that they don't think this man is good for your Islamic future then you are going against what a wali/guardian would have done for you. If they don't really wish you well and aren't a good wali then you should seek out another wali and tell the imam that you don't have one.

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