Islamic marriage advice and family advice

We had a nikah on the phone and will marry next year. Can we continue our physical relationship?


Assalam u alaikum

I am in a relationship. We both love each other a lot. At the start of our relationship, I didn't want to be in a unlawful relationship so I told her that we should be in nikkah, then on the phone we both had a verbal nikkah, but there isn't any paperwork yet. Our intentions were fair for each other, we both respect each other a lot. After that we acknowledged our parents about our feelings and both families agreed for the marriage...

Our marriage will be held after 1 year as soon as I will get a job after my training is complete but after that verbal nikkah we both have given every husband wife rights to each other. We had physical and are still having it as our thinking are fair and we will be in a legal marriage soon.

As Our Holy Prophet P.B.U.H said That "Actions are judged by intentions"

Our intentions were not bad nor they are now. We just love each other a lot and will marry as soon as possible, so is our relationship unlawful?


Tagged as: , , ,

12 Responses »

  1. Br.
    Nikah IS marriage and Allah does not need a paper for Him to see.

    I am not sure how this nikah was done based on your comment: "after that verbal nikkah we both have given every husband wife rights to each other". Who did the nikah? Where were the witnesses?

    Seems like you have a very flawed view of Islam/Nikah and are cherry picking what suits your physical needs for the time being

  2. Brother,

    When you use the term "physical", I am assuming that the two of you have sexual relations. If that is the case, what happens if she ends up pregnant? If you are not married does that work? Sounds to me like you are putting the cart in front of the horse in this situation!


  3. Assalamualaikum,

    Brother, from my opinion I think you should stop what you are doing now. Be patient your family is also agreed so I think when you get married in proper way then both of you will be happy. Untill you get proper reception or nikha I think you both should not have physical relation, you never know what will happen. Allah forgive you if anything happen then you won't be able to forgive yourself. May Allah bless you , may Allah make your marriage.

    I am also a married girl I know it feel peace when you with your husband , be patient and if you have faith in Allah then you should stop that physical relation it will be good for you both and the families. Allah always told us to be patient and if you can do that Allah will reward you will full of happiness and blessing.

    Best wishes


    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman may conduct the marriage contract of another woman, and no woman can conduct the marriage contract on behalf of her own self, because the zaaniyah (fornicatress, adulteress) IS THE ONE WHO ARRANGES THINGS ON HER OWN BEHALF.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah, 1782; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7298)

    "There is no marriage except with a wali." Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2085; al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Ibn Maajah, 1881, from the hadeeth of Abu Moosa al-Ash'ari; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

    And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Any woman who gets married without her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.... "Narrated by Ahmad, 24417; Abu Dawood, 2083; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 2709.



    In Islam, a Wali definition is that of a person, who is responsible for the bride's life before she is married. As a Wali, it is also his duty to ensure that the proposed groom is a reliable and a trustworthy person who will continue to carry on his role and responsibility towards the Bride after her marriage-
    Listed in the proper hierarchy, a Wali can be the Bride's birth father, her paternal grandfather, brother, paternal uncle or any male relative from her paternal side. If there is none available, then the Kadi will assume the role as a Wali.All marriage must be consented by the Wali. The Wali must accompany the Bride when she makes her registration at the Registry.

  5. Salamu'alaikum,

    So brother, where was the Wali of the girl? Where was the Qadhi? Nikaah on phone can be deceptive because one who says 'I accept' wouldn't be seen. Or if Qadhi was with the you, then where is the Wali? If the Wali was with you and the Qadhi, then that was a Nikah wahich was complete. Because the acceptance by a Wali is enough to be called acceptance by the girl.

    Was this the case? If yes, then congratulations on your Nikaah. But if it was not the case, the I doubt your Nikaah is valid. If no Wali was there, your Nikaah is invvalid to the face of it.

    And if the Nikaah was invalid, any physical/sexual relation you had was Zina.

    Actions do depend on the intention, but when the base of the intention is itself from Shaitaan, then the 'Amal would be a Sin. Good intention is good, as long as it is based on the deen and is invalid, the moment it detracts itself. You have, perhaps, been deceived by the Shaitaan by one of his dangerous weapons namely love of a girl. And the dangers of this are not a secret.

    If you have done Zinaa, then ask for Allah's forgiveness for what you have done, keep away from the girl until you are ready to marry her and then approach her Wali to ask for her in marriage. If you haven't commited Zinaa, still keep away from her until you are ready. But if your Nikaah was valid based on what I said above, then Alhamdulillah, your relation can NEVER be termed Zina. So, decide what is was, and fear Allah, Who Is The Creator and to Him we all will return.

    May Allah forgive us all
    Muhammad Waseem

  6. Also, please read the following:

  7. Salam,
    Dear brother nikah can be verbal on the phn but only when both the families witness are present
    ,for a girl wali is better mushtahab.But paper work is compulsory even then.Others should know
    about the physical relationship you r having coz it may create probems in the future.
    Surely Allah sees the intensions as long as it doesnt conflict with a sin.If u dont get married properly
    You will doing gunnah-e-kabira means be careful.
    May Allah guide you to the straight path ameen

  8. Your marriage would be valid if these criteira are met;

    1. If there was two withness who listened both of you saying Kobul or accepting each other
    2. If two accepted each other as husband and wife

    Different have different view as they follow different hanifi or scholar but if these criteria are met then the marriage is valid with no excuse however if you think i am wrong do explain why

  9. Salaams,

    Let's not forget the mahr or dowry. Even if there was a wali and witnesses present, and they accepted the contract, if she has not received a dowry from the husband then the marriage is still arguably invalid.

    Honestly, if this nikkah was not valid by phone because it was missing one or more of the needed components, it can still be redone easily as the requirements for a valid nikkah are not hard to put together. I would suggest that the brother conduct a proper and complete nikkah as soon as possible regardless of what type of walimah or ceremony you are planning for later, because it's better to have something done that is truly valid than to carry on in sin waiting for something with certificates and flowers.

    -Amy Editor

    -Amy Editor

  10. Yeah i forgot to mention about mahr but anyway we cannot really say whether it was vaild or not as its not stated clearly but if there gurdian dont wait more time and marry them front of everyone then everything will be fine as couple dont have to keep it secret or anything

    • Asalaam alaykum,

      I would say that the nikkah is not correct/valid because there was no paperwork and that implied that the young woman had no one looking out for her interests, and of course, the parents did not know about it. It is probable that they still do not about this "phone nikkah." For if they had known, the father would have naturally been the wali or would have assigned another male to be her wali, but was informed of the feelings afterwards and not before.

      The witnesses, as per a fatwa released in Indonesia regarding this topic also included a video portion so that witnesses could see the people on the other end. Mere verbal words over a phone without video was deemed invalid because identities could not be ascertained.

      Due to the fact that the poster did not have the proper intention to approach the father forthrightly, then his claims of purity is tainted, and I find this to be contradictory to seeking her due rights. For if there was no concern as to what he did was wrong, they would have simply showed up to the parents and said, "we're married!"

      Nikkah is simple as per the instructions of Allah (swt). Submit to Allah (swt) and there is no mistake, but 'cherry pick' as was mentioned by Sister Serendipity and a mess ensues. A fixable mess, but an avoidable one nonetheless.

  11. This marriage might not be valid because there were no witnesses from either side, no qazi and most important no mehr.
    Allah knows best!

Leave a Response