Is my nikah valid if the girl and I shared milk from the same woman, who is neither her mother nor mine?
Assalamualaykum.
I intended to marry a girl who is my relation, but I recently came to know that we might have shared milk once. From a women who is neither my mother nor girl's mother but who is related to both of us. The girl I intend to marry is younger than me by 1 and a half years. I am not certain if in fact we did share a "milk mother". Can I still marry this girl?
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Salaam the short answer to your question is if you only shared milk once, then she is not your foster sister. Please see the below Q & A for more details:
QUESTION:
I have a question regarding marriage. My mother fed her own milk to her sister's daughter (my cousin) when she was a baby.
Now my family wish to marry me to this cousin.
Can I marry to my cousin, or is she forbidden since my mother breastfed her when she was small?
Please reply as soon as possible.
- Parvez
Wael's Answer:
Dear Parvez, Wa alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullah,
The Quran is quite clear on this issue:
"Forbidden to you are your mothers and your daughters and your sisters and your paternal aunts and your maternal aunts and brothers' daughters and sisters' daughters and your mothers that have suckled you and your foster-sisters and mothers of your wives and your step-daughters who are in your guardianship, (born) of your wives to whom you have gone in, but if you have not gone in to them, there is no blame on you (in marrying them), and the wives of your sons who are of your own loins and that you should have two sisters together, except what has already passed; surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." (An-Nisa: 23)
However, there are certain conditions.
A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) reports: “Once the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) entered my house while a man was with me. He said: “O A’isha! Who is this?” I replied: “My foster-brother” He said: “O A’isha! Be careful in determining who your foster-brother is, for suckling is only valid if it takes place in the suckling period”. (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 2504 & Sahih Muslim, no. 1455)
The brief answer to your question is that if your mother breastfed your cousin more than five times when she was under the age of two, then your cousin is your milk-sister and your mahram, and she is haram for you to marry.
Here are details and proofs on this issue:
For breastfeeding to have the effect of making a mahram relationship, two conditions must be met: (1) The number of breastfeeding sessions should be five or more, and (2) this should happen within the first two years of the child’s life. If these two conditions are met, then the rulings concerning breastfeeding will apply, i.e. the child will be considered a relative and marriage will be forbidden, etc.
Sheikh M. S. Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim lecturer and author, states:
"It is permissible for you to marry the daughter of your maternal aunt in this situation, because breastfeeding (rada`ah) only makes the woman (and her daughters) themahramsof the child who nursed if it takes place five times. [Amahramis a relative whom one is forbidden to marry and with whom the rulings of hijab or covering do not apply]. The evidence for that is the hadith narrated by Muslim from `A’ishah who said: “One of the (rulings) that was revealed in the Qur’an was that ten known sessions of breastfeeding make the child a mahram, then that was abrogated and replaced with five.”
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The scholars differed concerning the number of sessions of breastfeeding for which the ruling on breastfeeding (rada`ah) applies. `A'ishah and ash-Shafi`i and his companions said that there is no proof for any number less than five. The majority of scholars said that the ruling applies if breastfeeding occurs once. This was narrated by Ibn al-Mundhir from `Ali, Ibn Mas`ud, Ibn `Umar, Ibn `Abbas, `Ata', Tawus, Ibn al-Musayyib, al-Hasan, Makhul, al-Zuhri, Qatadah, Hammad, Malik, al-Awza`i, al-Thawri and Abu Hanifah (may Allah be pleased with them). Abu Thawr, Abu `Ubayd, Ibn al-Mundhir and Dawud said: The ruling applies in the case of three sessions of breastfeeding, not less than that. Ash-Shafa`i and those who agreed with him followed the hadith of `A'ishah which mentioned five known session of breastfeeding.
Sheikh Ibn Baz was asked whether breastfeeding from a woman three times makes her a mahram.
He replied: this breastfeeding three times does not make her a mahram through breastfeeding. The ruling on becoming amahramthrough breastfeeding only applies if breastfeeding occurs five times or more. Then he quoted the hadith of `A'ishah as evidence. (Source: Fatawa Islamiyyah, 3/326)
Sheikh Ibn `Uthaymeen said:
One session of breastfeeding does not have any effect, rather it must be five sessions of breastfeeding that occur before the child is weaned and before he reaches the age of two. A person does not become the woman’s (foster) child if he breastfeeds once or twice or three or four times. It must also be five known sessions of breastfeeding; if there is some uncertainty as to whether he breastfed four or five times, the principle is that it was four, because every time we are uncertain about numbers, we take the lower number. Based on this, if a woman says, I breastfed this child but I do not know if it was once or twice, or three or four or five times, we say that this child is not her (foster) child, because it has to be five known sessions of breastfeeding without a doubt. (Source: Al-Fatawa al-Jami`ah lil-Mar'ah al-Muslimah, 2/768)"
Abd Allah ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said about Hamza’s daughter: “I am not legally permitted to marry her, as foster relations are treated like blood relations (in marital affairs). She is the daughter of my foster-brother.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 2502)
Therefore, the relationships that are unlawful through blood and lineage will also be unlawful through fosterage. As such, a foster-father (foster mother’s husband), foster-brother, foster-uncle, foster-nephew, etc will all be considered to be a woman’s Mahram, and one will be a Mahram to a foster-mother, foster sister, foster niece, etc.
And Allah knows best.
If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, feel free to post your comments below.
"(O Allah), Guide us to the straight path; The path of those whom you have favored; Not those with whom you are angry; Nor those who go astray."
Best regards,"
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor