Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How to perform Nikah with Christian woman?

Interactions between the engaged couple

It is only Nikah that makes a man her Mahram

Salam Alaikum

I am a Muslim male that wants to marry a Christian woman and has a specific question about Nikah. To my knowledge for a Nikah to take place both parties ( bride and groom ) have to be believers in the Islamic faith. If it is "lawful" for a Muslim male to marry a Christian woman what kinda ceremony will take place if I am a believer in the Islamic faith and she is a believer in Christianity.

She open to the idea of converting but i know it would be for the wrong reasons right now and I do not want her to convert just or the sake of getting married. I have read many post on this website and other forums with regards to this topic of Muslim males marrying Christian woman and it seems that i keep coming up with the same  answers that it is "lawful" for a Muslim male to marry a Christian woman, but no one has gone into detail with regards to if a Nikah ceremony . Can take place if the woman getting married to a Muslim male is a non-Muslim and not willing to convert for the right reasons.

If someone can please address my question specific to Nikah it would be greatly appreciated.

Eidul Hossein.


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45 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    To briefly answer your question, the nikkah of a Muslim man marrying a Christian would be no different than if he were marrying a Muslim woman. All of the obligatory components still must exist:

    1. She must have a wali. Since she is Christian, it's likely that no one in her family is Muslim to serve this purpose. Therefore, she will need a Muslim man like the imam to be her wali.

    2. You still must give her dowry (mahr).

    3. There still must be two male men present as witnesses.

    4. The nikkah must be publicized with a walimah.

    If your bride-to-be insists upon having a traditional Christian ceremony instead, then you must understand that this would be haraam for you. It also wouldn't be an Islamically valid marriage. She must agree to have the Islamic nikkah with you for the marriage to be valid.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. If you marry this khafirah in her state of disbelieve, then what religion will your children follow???..
    Even if both of you decide that the children would be brought up muslims, the children would not have the sound islamic religion upbringing because there mother is not a muslima... There would be no compatibility between you and the christian wife because of the different ideology of your faiths. There are many problems associated with interfaith marriage..

    Since you say she has no problem reverting to islam, then i suggest she convert to islam before you both get married... Your marriage may be what stimulate her to embrace islam, but this doesnt mean that she converted because she want to marry you.. If she is not considering converting to islam in her heart, then marrying you would not make her become a muslim, and she would stick to her christian beleive, or am i wrong?
    So if she convert to islam and genuinely practice the faith, then she is a muslim and Allah would judge her as a muslima.
    So no one has the right to accuse her of coverting for the wrong reasons.

    • It has been made halal by the almighty. who are we to judge differently. Please reflect accordingly before suggesting other than the maker of the world and the heavens. May allah forgive us all for our misgivings and wrongdoings.

      • Just because something is permissible, that doesn't mean that it is always wise, or is always the right choice. What the brother says - that there are many problems associated with interfaith marriage - is true. This is especially true when the surrounding culture is non-Muslim. In my opinion, a Muslim should marry a Muslim whenever possible. Marriage to a non-Muslim woman should be a last resort only.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Mr. Editor you think you are more wise than Allah? you think what Allah made Halal and Haram is not wise enough? we cant Change Islam and we should not. we should accept it and follow it. especialy when it is written in quran then there is no Need to doubt it.

          • Usman, no need for loaded questions. Of course I do not think I am more wise than Allah. Marrying cousins is halal. I never denied that. What I'm saying is that it's not healthy, especially when successive generations of cousins marriage. The risk of birth defects in the children rises significantly.

            Just because something is permissible doesn't mean it's a good idea. It's permissible to eat a dozen donuts every morning, but if you do so long enough you'll end up with blocked arteries and heart disease.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Wallah. Allah has more insight than us. He would have made it Haraam If their was no good in it for the ummah

    • Well you know nothing about Islam. I am sure that you dont read quran if then you understand quran and you dont evn try it. what you are saying is kuffr because you are saying something against Quran. i would recomend you to read surah Nissa with translatn so that you can understand this issue. Secondly you have no right to hurt someone and say kafira etc... you are not te one who decides who is kaffir and who is Momin. maybe you think you are muslim but you dont believe in Allah and Quran and Prophets and the day of judgment. because if you do believe then you wont hurt other people and judge other people and you would accept Quran and Islam the way it is. May Allah help us finding Sirat-e-Mustaqeem..

      • Usman, you don't see the irony in criticizing Mohd for calling someone kafira, while telling him that his words are kufr? Kind of funny.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Sigh...there are so many good single Muslim females waiting to get married. Now we are seeing more and more Muslim men marrying non-muslims. There's no gurantee that your children will accept Islam as they get older because this world is has become different now. Astagfarilah, I know of two interfaith couples who had problems in their marriage, and unfortunatey the kids became homosexual.

    • Ditto your comment tammi., the children would not have sound religion upbringing..
      The best thing is for this man in question to look for a beautiful, good and pious muslima and get married to her.. Or atleast, the christian girlfriend should convert to islam before he get married to her.

    • I disagree, You know two interfaith couples who had children that turned out homosexual? How is that the fault of the parents, you are not brought up as homosexual because your parents have different faiths - to think these things are related are absurd!

      It is true that interfaith marriages have problems but all marriages have problems. If you pray Allah will guide and who are we to go against Allah's guidance.

      On a separate note I have known many muslim parents who have children who are no way Muslim. They sin just as much as non-believers.

      To summarise, if you are both good loving people and bring your children up with care and with love and have Islam as the main driving force - you can't go wrong. And if it does go wrong then it is the will of Allah.

      • I may don't have enough knowledge about Islam cuz I'm not a Scholar.But so far I can say You Got the right point here brother(Abis).If Islam gives the permission so You should know there would be a strong reason behind it.As Islam is the Religion of peace ,No way it can Guide it's followers to any wrong path.So That's the most Suitable answer.May Allah guide us to the Right Path!

  4. Pls correct me if I'm wrong - though Muslim men are allowed to marry women of the book (Judaism and Christianity), the Christianity being referred to is that of the true gospel I.e. If she believed that Nabi Esaa is God, she is not a true Christian and therefore would not be eligible to marry.

    • Aniqah, you are mistaken. The "true gospel" you refer to does not exist, and did not exist at the time of the revelation of the Quran. Allah knows perfectly well how they have corrupted their deen. But they are classified nonetheless as People of the Book.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Shukran for your response. How then does this affect his Jannah? As if she doesn't believe, she can never enter. It would affect me decision on this dunya knowing my spouse would never be able to join me in the afterlife. Also what is the expectation post such a marriage? Is he supposed to encourage her to convert or should he be content to allow her to practise her religion? If so, wouldn't this affect their children's understanding of our deen?

        • Well, I'm not saying such a marriage is a good idea. Only that it's allowed.

          But yes, the factors you mentioned should certainly give someone pause. I personally would not marry a non-Muslim woman, for precisely the reasons you mentioned, especially the question of the children's faith.

          I wouldn't worry so much about what happens in Jannah. My goal is to get to Jannah, Insha'Allah. Happiness will take care of itself, I would think 🙂

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Aniqah,

          I always wondered about this. I don't know why muslim men are allowed to marry certain non muslim woman. I don't understand what benefit it would have to the muslim ummah. Instead it poses aclot of problems for the family. i.e the children spend more time with the mother and will not be able to learn much about their deen from a non muslim mother.

          I Have seen muslim men marry non muslim woman (i.e woman of the book), but they usually are not very religous so they are not worried about their kids learning about the deen. I have not seen a pius muslim men marry a non muslim women.

          Personally I would want my loved ones, my parents, siblings and spouses to be good muslims and I would help and encourage them as I would pray for them to go to jannah too. I am also worried about their afterlife. I thought these were natural human emotions which everyone had.

          So then why would you marry a spouse who does not believe in Allah. I could not live with someone and have children with them who does not believe in Allah. As muslims I thought we are supposed to strive towards Islam and bring up the kids with strong deen. Isn't marrying a non muslim a hindrence towards becoming a better muslim and bringing up rightous children ?

          But I guess it could be that some men are only marrying for enjoyment in this life with the women. Maybe marrying for their beauty and just to have fun in a halal relationship. They are not worried about the women after death. As this life is temporary, marriage to an attractive women may be a past time for some men. Have your cake and eat it too! But it is allowed in Islam so nothing wrong with that. Everybody thinks differently I guess.

          Just my thoughts.

          • Allah knows best. There are many Muslim women who became Muslim after marrying a Muslim man. It happens a lot. So there certainly can be benefits at times. It's not for us to question why Allah has allowed a certain thing. He has His reasons.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • I recently married a kitaabi woman... Good muslim women seem to be very hard to find. They stay among themselves, and are oriented mostly toward their own ethnicity. Others that I have spoken to have strange views, don't pray, or have beliefs I consider bid'ah or kufr. These are problems I had with my previous wife who was Muslim. She was extremely lazy about praying and fasting. At least with a Kitaabi woman, I need not argue with her about upholding her faith.

  5. Since muslims are still available for you to marry,why a non-muslim?The truth is there will be no unified agreement on some issues relating basically to religion and perhaps conflicts could result from children's decisions to what should be practised.Moreso,children spend more time with mother.Hence, their understanding about Islam will be minimal.

    • Why do we say, "so many muslim women are there to marry choose them" we dont choose who we fall in love with. It happens. We are not choosing a piece of clothing its a life partner and if you fall in love with a non muslim so be it. With the help of allah all will be ok, as said before, any marriage is a risk, even if you marry a muslim who says it will work perfectly, and so many children that have muslim parents are commiting sins still. We are told to spread the word of islam and who says with time after marriage this wont happen, she may revert. I myself am engaged to a non muslim and my family are supporting it. If something is allowed in our religion, nobody, and i mean nobody has the right to question what allah has said is to be allowed/ disallowed.

      • Nothing "just happens". We make choices. We choose who to spend time with, who to talk to, even who to fantasize about. And if we do fall in love unexpectedly, we choose what to do about it. There's a certain store where I shop regularly, and I find the non-Muslim cashier to be attractive and charming. I can tell that she likes me as well. However, when I deal with her I lower my gaze and do not speak about anything non-essential, because I choose not to become involved with her.

        Marrying a Christian woman is allowed, but to do so in a majority non-Muslim society is simply a bad idea. It's difficult enough to raise children as faithful Muslims even when both parents are Muslim. When one parent is Christian, it becomes almost impossible. I have seen many families with a Muslim father and non-Muslim mother, and often the family does not practice Islam at all. Sometimes the kids even grow up as Christians.

        The claim that you are doing it to "spread the word of Islam" is dishonest. No one knows the future. A non-Muslim wife may convert or may not. We guide people to Islam through da'wah and by example, not through marriage.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Yes we make choices but if everyhing was so easy to make a choice about we would have no problems in life, its easier said than done my friend. There is nothing wrong with falling in love and marrying a non muslim, if its allowed then it shouldnt be frowned upon. Full stop. we are all people of god, nobody is less or more. Yes it would be difficult to raise the children but there is still a chance and im prepared to take that with the person i love. I could go and marry a muslim and think all will be ok but it may not. As i said no marriage is perfect.

          • I think a Muslim man wanting to marry a woman of the Ahlul-kitaab for da'wah purpose, needs to first ask himself questions such as, "How many non-Muslim men have embraced Islam as a result of being impacted by his good Islamic behavior?"

        • Wael... How would you know some one is "dishonest" for speaking their opinion on an opinion-centered forum? Prophet Muhammad (upon him be peace) married a Kitaabi woman... was there anything he did that wasn't Da'wah? Sure you may disagree... but identifying what's in someone's heart or intention as "dishonest" is not the best reply.

          • Point taken. However, I do think that it's a rationalization and an excuse. The person has fallen in love, and is looking for a justification.

            The Prophet (sws) hardly needed to marry a Kitabi woman for the sake of da'wah. If marriage for da'wah was a real strategy, we would all be encouraged to marry non-Muslims. However, it's just the opposite. A man is allowed to marry a non-Muslim woman, but he is encouraged to marry the pious Muslimah.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  6. yes she must willingly convert, but as you stated it must be for the right reasons...and for the people responding with ill intent or negative personal reason, you people need to relax...yea there are alot of muslim women out there, but lets be honest, that doesn't always mean they follow the religion of our phrophet(pbuh) as they should...that being said, you're supposed to look at ones charcter, and look at the benefit, if she's willing to convert, thats a great deed in my eyes for enlightening a non-beliver with the love of the phrophet(pbup) and Allah(saw)...Allah knows best...

  7. Is it possible that a christian man can marry with a muslim lady?

    kindly answer me with detail and also send me an email.

    JAZAK ALLAH

    • Assalam O Alaikum brother Sher Khan,
      A Muslim woman is not allowed to marry a non-Muslim whether he be Christian, Jew, Athiest, Hindu, Sikh. If you need detailed answer, then please log-in and write your question as a separate post with more details and we will answer it on it's turn iA.

      Muhammad1982,
      Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

  8. @ Muhammad1982

    DEAR BROTHER ACTUALLY I WANT TO KNOW THE REASON THAT WHY A MUSLIM LADY NOT ALLOWED TO MARRY A CHRISTIAN MAN AND WHY A MUSLIM MAN ALLOWED TO MARRY A CHRISTIAN LADY..

    JAZAK ALLAH,

    • Sher Khan,
      Read what Holy Quran says on this matter;

      “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”

      [al-Baqarah 2:221]

      If you need further explanation then first search our data base to read the advice given in similar cases or else write your question as separate post and it will be answered on it's turn iA.

      Any further comments from this point forward will be deleted. May Allah guide to learn and understand Islam. Amin

      Muhammad1982,
      Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

  9. Assalamualaikum,

    I am actually having the same trouble. I am going to marry a Christian woman. After discussions with some scholars for quite some time, I've decided to carry on with the marriage. But I am quite stuck with how the ceremony could be done, as no imams seem to want to conduct the ceremony. What choice do I have? What does it mean by Islamic wedding? Do I need an imam to conduct the nikah? Or can it be anyone (including non muslim wedding celebrant)? All I know, I need a mahr, a wali, and two Muslim male witnesses to make sure that my marriage is valid, right? Can someone help me?

    P/s: Please don't argue about my choice or reasons to get married. I am not going against Islamic teaching. I've done 2 years of research before deciding. Jazakallah. May Allah bless you.

    • AJ, we do not have any official "Imam" status or class in Islam. Anyone can conduct the ceremony. It's best for this person to begin by reciting from the Quran, then give a short talk, then verify that both parties have consented, the wali is present, and the mahr has been paid.

      It's unusual for Imams to refuse to conduct a marriage ceremony just because a woman is Christian. Is there more going on here than you are telling us?

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  10. Thanks for the reply, brother.. I really appreciate it very much! At least there is someone for me to talk to now.

    My problem is this; the priest, from the woman's side, asked if he can get involved with the ceremony, and wanted to discuss about it with the imam. He (the priest), already agreed that the ceremony to be conducted in Islamic way of nikah (but wondering if he can give a blessing to the girl, as she is a Christian). I couldn't answer it, so I gave them each others' phone number. But, nothing has developed from then on. No reply, no phone calls being answered by both. And now, it seems like the future of our marriage is like on other people's hand to decide. 🙁 I don't know what to do now, and I have no one to talk to.

    • AJ, I suggest you invite the Imam and the priest to dinner, without telling them that the other is coming. Then you can discuss it with them. If that doesn't work then you can get any one of your Muslim friends to conduct the ceremony. I see no problem with the priest offering a blessing. However, if the priest offers his prayer or blessing and says, "In Christ's name," or, "In Jesus' name," then that's a problem. In Islam we only act in the name of Allah. To begin your marriage with an act of shirk would taint it. Perhaps the Imam and priest can work something out.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  11. Salam Alaikum wa Rahmatu Allahi wa Brakatu

    I thank Allah swt for all the good I have read so far but, like the question asked>>

    I am the only Muslim in my catholic family, ironically enough my "very" catholic sister will be marrying a Muslim.
    They have asked me to be her wali however, before I decide to be her wali, I would like to know:

    If she were to perform the nikkah, how would her oath be acceptable if she does not believe in Allah swt as we Muslims believe?

    • azmmjza, there is no oath required for nikah. And the Christians are Ahl-al-Kitab. It is allowed for a Muslim man to marry them.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  12. assalamoalaikum.
    first i would like to say sry for my weak english
    im from nepal and nepal is a hindu country. one year ago im falling love with a hindu girl n she is already married but we love each other very much. she had lots of problem with her husband.
    he always hurt her.
    one day we decided and runaway and living togather.
    i told her each n every thing about me n islam and she said to me that she do as islamic culture and accept islam.
    but after some time she told me that she cant accept islam and spend her rest of life as hindu culture.
    i feel so bad for her becouse if i leave her then her life become damage and i dont want to let her go from my life.if i leave her the i always siffering from the guilty and i dont wanna do this.
    i wanna marry her according to islamic law and wanna see her as a muslimah.
    as i say we live togather since last year now i feel shame on me becouse i do what islam not allow and i feel my self guilty and i wanna do write thing now so plz guide me what is right for us or me.
    i wanna nikah her can i do nikah wid her without accepting islam?
    it is possible or not?
    if u can plz reply me in hindi or urdu becouse of my poor english.

    • Faiyaz, if you like you can register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.

      However, your question is easy to answer. You cannot marry this woman. A Muslim is not allowed to marry a Hindu woman. Furthermore, your actions in this matter have been wrong and sinful from the start. You separated a married woman from her husband, and now you are living with her without marriage.

      Instead of worrying about damaging the girl's life - which you have already done - you should worry about damaging your relationship with Allah, and damaging your aakhirah.

      End your relationship with this woman, as it has no future.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • am a muslim man fell in love with a christian girl who accepted islam and she testified after we made nikkah an for some years we were happy. after she decided to start going to church again an when i told her i want to divorce you she refused. is it allowed for me to continue sleeping with her or not?but she respects islam and we have a daughter together but she doesnt take her to church with her she alays tell her she is a muslim. am confused.

        • You said she tells the daughter she is Muslim. What does she tell you? If she is still Muslim then Alhamdulillah, it's okay. It's strange that she goes to church, but be patient. However, if she now considers herself Christian then your marriage is automatically dissolved.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  13. Im a female christian and wanting the same answer. Been looking for it and also cant find it.
    If she is willing to do something for you , you must be willing to do the same for her. I see it as 50/50.
    Im catholic and his muslim, his parents want a nika and mine want a catholic wedding.
    You cant make everyone happy so you do whats best for yourself and partner.
    I respect his faith and i expect the same from him. No one should ever feel pressured into acceptance.
    Of you care/love some one you would do the right thing by them and respect their believe.
    Cant say you love some one if you expect them to change.
    Anyways we have come to the conclusion that we are combining the both.
    If anyone has a problem thats there own problem. We are now at this day and age were people have to learn to accept people for who they are regaurdless or religion and culture.

    We also have 2 children. They will learn both/ all religions and will decide for them selves which ones they want to follow as we are thier parents and where there to teach and guide them. Not force and dictate their freedom.

    Question for you. Reverse the situation. Would you do a christian ceremony and convert? It works both ways. Regaurdless who you are.

  14. I think there is no problem marry a Christian or Jew or Muslims. It's permitted. She has Christian as religion. She practice hers and he practice his Islam. What she does is her faith and yours yours. You both try to educated your children and explain what your religion is all about. Then your kids decide in future as adults what they want. You just make the best out of it. And have a health marriage.

  15. Salaams to all

    I am married to a christian woman by the laws of the land, there was a moulana that was supposed to do the nikkah on the day we got registered, however on the day the moulana cancelled & did not show up, so we continued with everything & got registered, I did speak to him after the wedding to set a date for the nikkah but he refused to do it.

    I am from durban in south africa & have struggling to find a moulana that can do our nikkah.
    My wife has moved back into her parents house bcoz I do not want to be living in zinah.

    Does any one know of a moulana that can do our nikkah

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