Islamic marriage advice and family advice

No desire to move forward in life after I lost my wife and my job

sad man sitting thinking

My dearest of all wife has rejected me and is asking for divorce and I have lost my job as well. I don"t have any desire in my life left... but I fear losing my life. I don't want to die but I don't have any desire in my life left.....

Sometimes I think of praying for some illness as well...in which I will neither die nor live.... I am very disappointed when my all fulfilled dreams have turned into a disastrous dream.

I prayed a lot from Allah to revert back all the problems but they are increasing.

What should I do?

- lonelysoul


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15 Responses »

  1. SubhanAllah.
    Turn to Allah brother and recite Quran In Shaa Allah.
    Quran will ease the pain and burden in your heart.
    Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace.
    You will be okay, time is a great healer.
    You will definitely move on from this and recover
    In Shaa Allah.

  2. Why did she leave u? And life is not gonna end when u want it to end. It always keeps going and u should too. Maybe life is hiding something better for u. I wish u all the best keep ur hopes up and believe in Allah always.

  3. Assalamualaikum,

    What is the reason, brother? Why does she want to part from you? Is it a misunderstanding or something wrong on your part (or her's)?

    Regardless of the result, brother, what happens in life is for your own good. Trust in Allah and pray to Him. Remember Him always and accept His Decision.

    Muhammad Waseem
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Thanks Brother for the advise!! Everybody asks me about the reason but the cruelty of the situation is that I have to face everything without any reason.
      Even my wife has no answer to that she says our mental frequency does not match, although we were living very happy life in first 6 months. But her mother was not happy with me from 7th month onward as I asked her not to inter-fair in our house unnecessarily (which she used to). She then polluted my wife's mind against me and mastermind this separation.

      Please advise me way forward as I am ready for anything they ask for return but now they are not ready for anything except divorce (which I don't want at any cost)..

      Why this was in my fate without any fault??

      • I would ask you to sit down with her without anyone's presence and ask what makes her feel that you both are incompatible. Let her mention the reason and then you can decide how you can handle the clarification of misunderstanding (if any).

        Knowing what the problem is, solves half the problem. Actually it is difficult to patch things when a partner does not intend to stay together for no obvious reason. But brother, Allah Is The All Merciful, He Is As Samee' ad Du'aa (The Listener of Du'as), His Mercy overpowers His Wrath. So keep your hopes alive and if mistake is on your part, leave no chance to say sorry and try to patch things up. But before all, you need to find out what makes her say what she says.

        May Allah Help you, Aameen

        Muhammad Waseem
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • She is not ready to sit with me to discuss the problem so that it can be resolved (if any). Her parents are not ready for this and have disgraced my elders when they asked for it. We have tried all that we can do even involved the elder most person of the family but they are not ready for patch up. Its been 3 months that we are trying.

          I have prayed to Allah... me and my mother have preformed several wazaif but things are not reverting.....

          Pathway is pitch dark!!!

          • I do not see a solution, except in discussion. In person, on phone, by email, however possible... Otherwise, there seems to be no other way, except if Allah turns her heart to you. He Is The Controller of hearts and our hearts are between His Fingers.

            Other than this, I am afraid, nothing seems possible

            Muhammad Waseem
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. Salaams,

    I think one of the most enduring challenges for all of us is not to get caught in one particular belief. What is that belief? That belief is that when things get difficult or very painful, that it will always be that way. I know I struggle with that idea quite a bit when things are at their worst. Just this morning, I made dua to Allah to help me not feel that way about my current situation.

    I think Shaytan likes to trap us in those types of belief because despair is a powerful state. Like you mentioned, when we despair we lose all motivation for life. We've settled into some acceptance of the lie that things could never change or get better so we don't bother trying. We become apathetic, and the wasted hours become days, months, and even sometimes years. Allah never made us for such things.

    Sometimes, when you feel like giving up, that's the best time NOT to. That's the time to prove to yourself, against every seeming evidence, that even this situation has a purpose to improve your life. I think what's made your circumstance especially hard for you is facing two losses at once, but taken separately they are both common events in life that can be over come.

    You can get a new job, and you can move on from this heartbreak. You can use this time to examine yourself how you can be a better Muslim, a better husband for a potential new wife, or perhaps insha'Allah you may have the opportunity to reunite with your first wife. You can find ways to become a better employee for your next job, with more knowledge and skills. These are all things you can do, and all it takes is your decision that, in spite of the tremendous difficulty involved, you WILL do them.

    Dreams are like any created thing, brother. Allah can create or erase them as He likes. He can replace old ones with new ones, good ones for better ones. The will of Allah for us is dynamic, not stagnant. He didn't set up our lives as events to fall down one by one like a series of dominos. No, our lives are masterpieces in the making. Don't let this one corner of gray from a fallen tree keep you from seeing the beautiful mountains ahead, because they are there even when the forest blocks your view.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. Wow Masha'allaah Sister Amy, I couldn't help it but to sign in and say Jazakallahu Kheyran Alfa Marrah... The piece of advice you gave will not only help the brother but many of us that take a minute to read it...
    Masha'allah,, Allah blessed you with so much wisdom,, i really admire you for that..
    I always wished to have my mother with me when things fall apart,, but Subhanallaah,, Allah brings people like you on earth to be a mother or a sister not only to her kids or siblings but to everyone around them that's in need of a simple advice.... Jzk kheyr again for giving the beautiful advice to our brother....

    Brother Please take all this advice to heart and help yourself move forward,, Allah will be with you,, put your full trust in him.... and Insha'allah you will see yourself smiling again

  6. Brother when you get time read this article, hope it will help you to move forward in your life.

    http://ifirdous.hubpages.com/hub/howduachangedmylife

    • Thanks Sister!! My Allah make me that lucky....

      • Don't worry Allah surely will help you if you sincerely make dua. Above what you said it seems like her parents not interested and do not care in their daughter happiness and married life. I suggest you to move forward even if she come back won't last long as long she listen to her parents. What ever her parents doing it's not Islam teaches. Anyways move forward make dua ask forgiveness and I pray that may Allah give you right partner soon.

  7. Allah is rehmaan pls trust life

  8. Asalama Aleykum brother,

    I know you are hurting and you feel like your world crashed and no one feels your pain, but brother remembere there are so many of us that are being tested by Allah.
    Your situation is hard and hearbreaking, but in times like this turn to Allah submit all yourself to him and walaahi you will find all the happiness. Du'a is a powerful weapon many of us forget to use but if you sincerely pray to Allah in every sujud you will see a change in your situation. Pray that Allah changes her heart and she comes back to you and brother know that if she doesn't maybe Allah wants to exchange for you better wife. Insha Allah i hope you find peace and please don't despair.

  9. salaam brother,its very easy to feel sorry foryourself ,i know because my partner of 30 years has just left no reason no explaination but im taking it in my stride,you find that the more you chase the sitution the further it goes,when something is out of your hands except it with dignity and trust in Almighty Al-Baseero,Al-Khabeero in the long run you will look back and say to yourself what all the fuss was about,for me i thank Allah for my health ,people fall in love again and again untill you find your soulmate inshallah brother i pray to Allah to take your despair away and give it to me and whatever happy times i have to let you have some of them,and i pray to Allah to give me strength to deal with the extra burden....take care brother....iftikhar

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