Islamic marriage advice and family advice

No one is ready to marry a father of 5 kids

Assalaamualikum, i am single father with 5 kids. Was advised to marry new to carry on life. I went all places to search a lady who can accept me and kids, even i said the women who marry me she have no responsibility for my kids, i will do everything for them.. no one agreed to marry me, even i went to yateem trusts to search any orphan or widow women, but i was surprised no one agreed since i have 5 kids.. its like there is no way for a man who is single father.


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7 Responses »

  1. Assalam u alykum.

    Please don't lose hope, dear Brother.
    Carry on searching. You never know when and where you may meet Someone.

    And carry on praying. Allah's Plans are always the Best ones. You never know, you may be getting all these rejections because there is something or someone better planned for you!

    There are girls who would love to raise 5 children and don't have a problem with it. Not everyone has the same viewpoint. Sharing my own view- I know that I would not reject a proposal simply looking at the fact that the person has children. There are many girls who probably share the same view.

    I pray everything goes well for you.

    Your sis in Islam

  2. If you are in karachi then plz contact. We may be able to find you a suitable match.

  3. You are funny. Realistically speaking, there's no way a woman can live with a man his 5 children that he has with other women without having responsibilities towards these children. If you live in the same household, you are forced to have something to do with one another. So you lying to women and telling them they won't have to lift a finger for your children...women know it's unrealistic, so that's why they reject you. Just like men don't necessarily want to deal with another man's children, a lot of women feel the same way: They don't want to deal with another woman's children.

    It sounds to me like you are actively looking for a woman that, herself, are free from children - maybe even a virgin. Which, if that's the case, makes you a bit of a hypocrite. Why would a child-free woman, or a virgin, want a man with 5 children? As a woman, I'd not be willing to share my husband's attention with children that aren't even mine.

    I think you'll have better luck with pursuing women that, like yourself, is divorced and have children. They are facing the same struggles as you, so they are not going to care that you have children.

  4. You did not state your educational or professional background. Let's face it. If you are struggling financially, or having trouble making ends meet that might be the main reason why the average woman shys away from considering marriage with you. If you are a MD or successful businessman with five children in a six or seven bedroom home, a woman might look at you differently. Welcome to the real world. A widowed or divorced woman with one child has problems finding a husband. So just imagine what a woman with 5 has to go through. If you are expecting to marry a young woman who has never been married, or a woman with no children, think twice about your expectations also.

    You did not state how long you have been looking to remarry. It does not take weeks. For most people, it can take months or years before they find someone compatible. So be patient. And don't be so desperate. Realize that although your new wife might not have to care for five children, she will have to live with them, interact with them and socialize with them.

  5. Salam,

    Try looking for a woman that has kids already. Even if you tell women that they don't have to take care of your kids there are still 5 kids. You're not going to have much time left for a woman after doing things for them.

  6. Assalaamualaikum

    It can be difficult for a single parent to find a spouse, but you are not alone in your situation, and many people in your situation do find someone who loves both them and their children.

    If I were in your situation, I would start by thinking about the reality of your situation and what you would be bringing to a marriage. You need to think as well about how you would feel about marrying a woman who already has children, or who wants children of her own - I think it's likely that most women who would be interested in becoming a stepmother to your chldren will fit into one of these two categories.

    Realistically, a woman who marries you will need to take a role in your children's lives - and to be honest, if I were a parent and looking for a spouse, I would also want whoever I married to want to be part of my children's lives. Your children are wonderful human beings who can be a blessing in your wife's life, even if they are not her own biological children, so be clear when you are talking about them that whoever marries you will also get to share in the joy of raising your children! Women also know that they will have to be involved in caring for your children - what happens when you're unwell or busy, or two of them need different thinkgs at the same time? - so be open and honest about this, as not being is a sure way to put women off.

    Midnightmoon editor

  7. How old are you? I know it's hard for a single dad/widow to stay single too long. I don't know which country you live in but you can patiently wait until they are 18. Then you'll have no responsibility over them to some extent.

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