Islamic marriage advice and family advice

my non-muslim friend wants to have an abortion, what can I do?


asalaam alaikum brothers and sisters,

Recently my friend (who is a non-muslim) told me that she was pregnant, but was going to have an abortion. Her reason for having this abortion was because she is very busy with her studies at the moment, and also not financially stable. Her husband works full time and her parents are living on the other side of the world and are very old to look after a baby. I have spoken to her and tried to persuade her  that what she is doing wrong, and that it is like murdering someone and she should not do what she is planning to do.  I feel very guilty for knowing what I know, and not able to do anything more about it.

Can you please give me advice?

Thank you, may Allah give you all your blessing. Amen.




Tagged as: , , ,

3 Responses »

  1. Salaam sis.You've done what you could and I presume you've done your best to counsel her about the reasons why she shouldn't go ahead with this.You could try again one more time, and talk to her about it again, how abortion without a sound reason is condemned in so many religions, and is ethically wrong and also give her feasible options and alternatives about how she could manage the baby and her studies at the same time (you best know what her schedule is).Ask her to talk it over with her husband again as well, and consider every feasible option there is.If there is any other common friend who is in on this secret, you and she could talk to this friend together, and urge her to atleast reconsider.Other than that, I don't think there is really much you can do.If she still decides to go ahead with it, it's her decision, her life, and you needn't feel guilty about it, when you know you've done your best to make her think otherwise.And insha'Allah Allah will reward you for speaking up against what you felt to be wrong.

  2. Asalamu alaikum,

    I can understand your concern and i agree abortion is actually wrong unless the mothers life is at risk, but we cant tell nor force other people if they tend to do something we dislike. You raised an issue which is good but if your friend and husband are happy for abortion then you nor i can do anything.

    you can remind your friend by saying, so many people who had an abortion regretted it later on life.


  3. Assalaamualaikam

    Unfortunately, it may be that your friend does go ahead with an abortion, if she feels this is the right course of action for her. We cannot control the actions or decisions of others - we can, however, make sure that our own actions and decisions follow Islamic guidance.

    The Prophet (peace be upon him) told us "Whoever of you sees something wrong should change it with his hand; if he cannot, then with his tongue; if he cannot, then with his heart" [Muslim].

    So, while there may not be action you can take to prevent your friend doing what she thinks she wants to do, you can still speak to her about the issue (talk to her about her feelings, her fears, the options available - could she keep the baby with help and support - could she consider adoption?, how you could support her...). Even if she goes ahead with the abortion, you know in your heart that it is not right, and can make dua for the baby and for your friend to be guided to the straight path.

    Midnightmoon editor

Leave a Response