Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Not happy Marriage

sad man sitting thinking

I’ve been married with my wife for 7 months. I cheated on her already...I’ve been the worst stage of my life missing prayer too. I’ve been depressed too. She isn’t the same before. She yells a lot and gets grumpy fast even when I show her love. I’ve been thinking about divorce but I owe her family 40K and the whole community will shame me. My family would hate me.  I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I’ve never stopped so low. May Allah forgive me hopefully

 

someone can please give me advice...thank you

YusufPalestine

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4 Responses »

  1. Brother first do astagfar. And start reading namaz daily try to read in mosque. At home start reading Quran just few lines or few pages but do it on regular basics. This will bring merci, rehmat, of Allah in your house.
    Try to be best husband. Try to very better version of yourself with others specially your parents and wife.
    Try to contact with imam or good scholar and share your problems with them they will show you right path. Always pray dua anD keep hope inshaAllah Allah accept your dua. And try to seat in islamic gatherings. Live your life how our prophet (pbuh) live. Our prophet (pbuh) live very beautiful life with wifes. See how he live with family. And do charity even it is small.
    Feel free to contact. I also depressed in life and to take my life but Alhumdulillah doing this my life becoming better. inshaAllah Allah makes your life also beautiful. Be patience

  2. Why do you owe your in-laws such a massive amount of money?

    Anyway, owed money or not, you have the right to ask for a divorce if your marriage is not working. So what if people will "shame" you? Let people talk. Even talk back to them, because your personal life is none of their damn business. And I can assure you none of these losers that talk about you have perfect lives themselves. Don't worry about these nobodies.

    Ask for a divorce and come up with a plan of how to pay off your debt to your in-laws. If you have anything of value, just sell it or give it to them and move on with your life.

    • Astaghfirullah! What kind of advice are you giving him sister? I hope the man doesn't actually consider your words and act upon them.

  3. Assalaamualaikum

    Brother, I think you need to take a look at your own behaviour here. Your marriage has problems, but cheating isn't going to fix that - it's just going to make it worse. And when someone cheats, they tend to become defensive, arguments build in the marriage, and honest communication becomes even harder. Cheating on your spouse is a grave sin, and it's important to repent for this and make sure that it never happens again. If you are tempted, remember the hadiths and ayats about the fates of the adulterers in this life and the next. You should also go to a doctor or sexual health clinic to make sure you haven't caught a sexually transmitted disease. A marriage may be able to survive infidelity, but I'm not sure whether it can survive a husband giving his wife an STD he didn't have when they got married...

    Also, remember the hadiths about how shaytan is happiest when there is discord between a husband and wife. Try not to give him the satisfaction of petty arguments between you both. Brother, you married this woman for a reason. There must be something about her that you like, inshaAllah. Rather than rushing to cheat on her or divorce her, why not invest some time and effort in trying to repair your relationship? Talk with her and find things you have in common. Try to do things together - it doesn't need to be anything big and flashy, even a simple walk in the park or attending an Islamic lecture, then cooking a meal together. If the two of you are spending all your time apart and doing different things, then your differences will be emphasised, but if you do things together, then you can inshaAllah start building some common ground.

    If you and she are both miserable, talk about it. She's your wife and you're allowed to share your feelings and worries with her. Don't tell her that you've cheated on her, of course, but you can tell her that you're feeling depressed and worried about the money you owe her family. You can also ask her how she's feeling - there may be a valid reason for her being grumpy lately, and it may be that the two of you can work on fixing it together. But you'll only know if you talk about it.

    While divorce is permitted, I'd urge you to try to give your marriage a chance before writing it off.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

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