Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Not Praying Salah – 14 Year Old

prayer beads


This is my first time using this website sorry for any mistakes.

I desperately need help with salah. I don't pray at all but I want to however I'm not 100% sure how to do it because my mother couldn't teach me when I was little as she was mentally unstable and ill. My dad never taught me and neither has any of my relatives. My parents are divorced and my dad works all the time and he always shouts at me for not praying. I don't know what to do I'm so upset because I probably have a lot of sin because I've never prayed and I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone because they will make fun of me. Also am I a kaffir for not praying? I really want to but in the right way.

Please help needed desperately I'm honesty so lost right now my mind is tearing me apart.


Tagged as: , , , , , , ,

2 Responses »

  1. Waleikum assalam!

    First of all no you are not a kaffir and dont ever think of yourself as one. Kaffir is basically someone who dont believe in Allah and goes against him. However you are not in that category.

    Your parents should have teached you how to pray and since youre not 15 yet it is their responsibility to make sure you learn it and pray.

    I would recommend you to search on the internet how to pray or learn how to pray and there are a lot of islamic sites and forums that describes how you pray and theres also pictures in the descriptions to show what to say doing the different movements.

  2. Walaikumassalaam.

    So let's start with conditions of Salaat:

    1. Acceptance of Islamic Faith - disbelievers are not
    required to perform Salaat until they believe in Allah (SWT)
    and bear witness that there is no God but Allah and bear
    witness that Muhammad (Peace be upon him) is His

    2. An-Niyyah - In Arabic, it means intention by heart to
    perform the particular prayer.

    3. Cleanliness - This includes cleanliness of the body, the
    worn cloth and the place where the prayer is performed.

    4. Purification - this refers to the performance of Wudhu
    (or Ghusl as the case maybe) prior to undertaking the

    5. Clothes and concealing of the ‘Awrah - For man, it is
    essential that he be covered at least from navel to the knees
    all around, while in the case of a woman, her body should
    be totally covered except for the face and hands up to the
    wrists. But if there are men around, she should cover her
    body totally including the face and wrists.

    6. Facing the “Qiblah” - A person who prays, must face
    towards the direction of the sacred mosque in Makkah. If a
    person is in a strange place, and is not in a position to find
    out the right direction of Qiblah, he/she can make the best
    guess of the Qiblah and perform the prayer.

    7. Timing - prayers are to be observed at the prescribed

    Now let's see how to perform Wudhu:

    1. Making the intention (Niyyah) to perform wudhu as an act of
    sincere homage and worship for the pleasure of Allah
    (SWT). The intention is not to be uttered but it should be
    kept in mind during the wudhu.

    2. Invoking Allah (SWT) at the start of the wudhu by saying
    “Bismillah” (In the Name of Allah).

    3. Washing the hands up to the wrists three times, while
    rubbing them and allowing the water to reach between the

    4. Rinsing the mouth with water thrice, preferably using
    “Miswak” - (tooth stick), tooth brush or fingers to brush the
    teeth and the gums. Regarding the importance of miswak,
    the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said, “ If it had not been a
    great burden on my Ummah, I would have ordered them to
    use the miswak at every wudhu.” Narrated by Imam Malik.

    5. Cleaning the nostrils by sniffing water in and out three times.

    6. Washing the entire face thrice using both hands from the top
    of the forehead down to the bottom of the chin and from ear
    to ear.

    7. Washing the arms three times up to the upper end of
    elbows, right arm first and then the left. Arms should be
    rubbed while being washed.

    8. Moistening both hands and passing them over the head
    starting from above the forehead down to the nape (the back
    of the head) and from there bringing the hands forward up to
    the forehead. Do not wet the neck.

    Now the pillars of salaat:

    The prayer has obligatory pillars which must be fulfilled for its
    validity, and these are as follows:

    1. Al-Qiyaam - prayer is to be performed in a standing position
    if a person is physically capable.

    2. Takbeerat-ul-Ihraam, that is saying “ALLAHU AKBAR”, at
    the commencement of the prayer.

    3. Al-Fatihah – The recital of the opening chapter of the Holy
    Quran in every Raka’a.

    4. Rukuu’ - this is the bowing posture wherein the head and
    back are positioned on the same level and both hands are
    rested on the knees with the fingers spread apart.

    5. Raising up from rukuu’ position.

    6. It is required to stand up from the rukuu’ position in such a
    way that the person feels that all his/her backbones are

    7. Sujuud - Prostrating oneself in such a way that the following
    seven parts of the body are firmly placed on the ground. i.e.
    forehead together with the tip of the nose, both palms, both
    knees, the bottom surface of toes of both feet.

    8. Raising the head from the Sujuud position.

    9. It is required to sit upright during the pause between the two

    10. Taking a sitting position for the recitation of “At-Tashahud”.

    11. Recitation of “At-Tashahud” - words of witness.

    12. Reciting the words of supplication for the Prophet (Peace be
    upon him)

    13. Conclude the prayer with the words of peace “Tasleem”.
    i.e. “Assalamu Aleykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuhu.”

    In addition to the proceeding 13 pillars of prayer, there are also
    certain necessary duties, which need to be fulfilled in the course
    of the salaat. They are as follows:

    1. All Takbeers except Takbeerat ul-Ihram.

    2. Saying “ SUBHANAA RABBIYAL ATHEEM”, (once) in
    Rukuu position.

    3. Saying “SAMI ALLAHU LIMAN HAMIDAH”(once) while
    resuming standing position from the Rukuu, whether the
    person is an “Imam” - leading the prayer or is praying alone.

    4. Saying “RABBANA WALAKAL HAMD” (once) after resuming
    the standing position from the Rukuu. This is required from
    the Imam, from the congregation and also when the person
    is praying alone.

    5. Saying “SUBHANA RABBIYAL A’LAA” (once) when in
    Sujuud (Prostration) position.

    6. Saying “RABB IGHFIR LEE” in the sitting lull between the
    two prostrations of every unit of the prayer.

    7. Taking a sitting position on the recitation of the first
    Tashahhud at the end of first two rakaats (units) of Dhuhr,
    Asr, Maghrib and Isha prayers.

    8. Reciting the Al-Tashahhud (words of witness) after the end
    of first two rakaats of Dhuhr, Asr, Maghrib and Isha prayers.

    The above 8 acts constitute the necessary duties of the prayer
    and if one of them is missed unintentionally, then the person is
    required to correct the mistake by performing two prostrations of
    forgetfulness at the end of the prayer. However, if any of these
    duties is left out deliberately, then the whole prayer is nullified
    and shall require a repetition.

    “Al-tahiyatu lillahi wasalawaatu watayyibaatu, Assalaamu alayka
    ayyuha-n-nabiyyu wa rah-mat- ullahi wa barakaatuhu.
    Assalaamu alayna wa ‘alaa ibadi-l-laahi-s-saalihiyn. Ash-hadu
    al-laa-ilaaha ill-allahu wa ashahadu anna Muhammadan abdoho
    wa rasooluhu. Allahumma salli ala Muhammad wa ala aali
    Muhammad, kama sallayta ala Ibrahima wa aali Ibrahim. Innaka
    Hameedon Majid. Wa baarik ala Muhammad wa ala aali
    Muhammad kama baarakta ala Ibrahima was ala aali Ibrahima.
    Innaka Hameedon Majid.”

    “Greetings, prayers and the good things of life belong to Allah.
    Peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be on you, O Prophet.
    May peace be upon us and on the devout slaves of Allah. I
    testify that there is no god but Allah and I testify that Muhammad
    is His slave and messenger.
    O Allah, bless Muhammad and his family as You blessed
    Ibrahim and his family. You are the Most Praised, the Most


    1. Saying the opening supplication (Dua al Istiftah) -
    “Subhaanaka Allahumma Wabe Hamdika Watabarak
    Ismaka Wata’ala jadduka Wala Ilaha Ghairuka” The
    meaning is: Praise and Glory be to Allah, Blessed be your
    name, Exalted be your Majesty and Glory. There is no God
    but you.

    2. Put one’s right hand over his left hand and put them both
    over his chest while standing.

    3. Raise one’s hands up to the level of shoulders or near the
    lobes of his ears in the following cases:
    i. Declaring: Takbeer al Ihram”
    ii. Bows in Rukuu.
    iii. Raising from the position of Rukuu.
    iv. Standing up after reciting the first Tashahud.

    4. Saying more than one time “Subhana Rabbi al Atheem” in
    the Rukuu.

    5. Stating “Ameen” upon concluding the recitation of “Al-

    6. Remarking “Aoothu billahi Mi-nas-Shaytani-r-rajeem.
    Bismillahi-r- Rahmani-r- Raheem.”

    7. Proclaiming more than one time “Rabbi ighfir li”, while taking
    a pause between the two prostrations. (Sujuud)

    8. Keeping one’s head and back level while bowing for Rukuu.

    9. Should neither bring his hands close to his sides, nor stick
    his abdomen to his thighs, in the prostration position.

    10. Elbows should be raised from the ground, while in
    prostration. Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said
    “and stretch not your hands on the ground as dogs.”

    11. Laying one’s left foot flat on the ground and sitting upon it
    keeping his right foot erect while,
    a. Reciting first Tashahhud;
    b. Pausing between two prostrations;
    c. in the last Tashahhud if the prayer consists of Two
    rakaa e.g. Dawn prayer

    12. ATTAWARRUK - It is position of sitting, wherein the person
    protrudes out his left foot from underneath his right leg, in such
    way that the person rests the left buttock on the floor. It is
    preferred to practise this, when sitting for the final Tashahud in
    the Dhuhr, Asr, Maghrib and Isha prayers.

    Finally, actions that invalidate prayer:

    1. Talking intentionally and deliberately (If are aware that your
    prayer will be invalidated if you talk).
    2. Laughing
    3. Eating
    4. Drinking
    5. Uncover one’s body. (‘Awrah )
    6. To shift position from the direction of Ka’aba.
    7. To do any noticeable act or more outside the acts and
    movements of prayer
    8. To do anything that invalidates the ablution.
    9. To fail in observing any of the pillars of prayer, such as
    standing when capable, reciting al Fatiha etc.,

Leave a Response