Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Online “Lovers”

internet relationship

Salams!

I am a Filipina who's working here in Malaysia and I met this Pakistani guy on social media (FB). So far our communications is just thru Whatsapp for he has deactivated his fb account on reasons of some intelligence trying to look for lawyers like him. We have been talking about meeting in person and plans to move in either Pakistan or Malaysia once we have settled matters like work, family and most of all religion. But this one thing I am having doubts about his real intentions on me and every time I'm asking him he's angry.. At his age of 35, is it possible that he has a wife already..? I am still trying to fathom that a Pakistani and Muslim man with the highest education in his country can be a bachelor..? I am ready to embrace Islam if this will make us live a happier life.. Please make my heavy heart see the beauty and future of online love affair..

Thank you all..

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6 Responses »

  1. I'm sorry to tell you that it's very easy for someone to deceive you and tell you many things if you don't know him in real life and you both live in different countries. Allah knows best and he might be honest and have his reasons for not contacting you. But I'll share my experience with you. I've met many people on Facebook, whatsapp...... never met them in my life and it was only friendship. Many of them were completely honest and real friends but I managed as well to get the attention of deceiving people who made me believe that they're friends and they're living an easy simple life. With time I discovered that they'll chase foreign girls who are living in western countries for many reasons. Many of them will make you feel like they're friends and start asking for money later, others will convince you that they're meant to be your other half....... just be careful

  2. First of all, you shouldn't inbrase Islam just for sake of being with him, this should come from your heart and for your self not for anyone else.

    I'm not saying is imposible but it is very unlikely he is still single.
    Have you talked to his family?
    Do they know about you?
    If he has good intentions with you then he most likely already told his family (since you guys are talking about marrying and deciding where to live)

    Please be cautious!

    Tell him you want to settle in Pakistan rather than anywhere else and see how he reacts to that, are you younger or older than him?

    There are a lot of great Pakistani men, but the ones I know of who have approached someone over fb or online haven't been so, so please do be careful and if your not sure and your doubting him is for a reason, always listen to your inner self.

    Good luck

  3. Please please be extra careful and vigilant. I have personally been heavily lied to by Pakistani men.

    "deactivated his fb account on reasons of some intelligence trying to look for lawyers like him". Sounds fishy to me. Probably hiding from his wife.

  4. There's no way for us to know whether this man is already married. But it'd be very wise of you to do your research on him before you decide to marry him. It is suspicious that he has deleted his Facebook account, but it's not right to assume what his reasons for doing this might be.

    Please don't marry him until you have travelled to where he lives (don't go alone!) and seen with your own eyes what his life is all about. Where does he live? Who does he live with? Where is his family? Who are his friends? Where does he work? What does he spend money on? What does he do when he's not at work?

  5. Sis, having a online love affair is not lawful in Islam, i understand that at present your not Muslim yourself, but this man apparently IS, so he knows the rules of his religion, the reality is, if this man is happy to chat to women online and send them text messages etc knowing full well this is not a lawful way of conducting yourself prior to marriage ( according to Islam) he is most likely, actually almost certainly a bad egg, that said most of these these relationships ( online) do not end well anyway, because you are unable to ascertain who the person really is, if he is already losing his temper with you, how do you see that things will get better, that their will be a happily ever after here? Sister, how do you plan on embracing the religion of Islam to make things more 'harmonious' while taking a life companion that already does not practice his religion properly?

    Your an intelligent woman, which is why you are second guessing this yourself, why on earth would a man look to meet a woman online from another country, to look for her to convert to Islam to marry, while he is breaking the rules of his religion and when he already comes from a country that is majority Muslim?
    Woman to woman, please let this go, you will almost certainly be saving yourself from a great deal of sorrow and hardship, not to mention you could possibly be getting yourself into a potentially dangerous situation,

    Sister, Practicing Muslim men, are the best men a girl could wish for, why? because they realise that their every action will be accountable for, and that women are held in high esteem in Islam and given certain right and privileges, please understand that a man who does not fear his lord, in respect to obeying his commandments will not make a good husband,
    I'm sorry if i offend anybody here, but Pakistani men are known for having wives in different countries, how do you expect to be able to verify this his bachelor status, when you do not come from the same country?
    if we for a moment pretend that this man is a great catch, moving to another country, embracing another culture etc is an enormous undertaking, you would at least expect that at the very beginning there would be no issues, but clearly as you highlight you are already uneasy,

    Sister in Islam, men and women who are interested in marrying each other are allowed to converse, but only when the women has a male from her family in her company, this is to protect the welfare of the women and to ward off any men who have bad intentions, chatting online over Facebook etc and over text is strictly forbidden,

    my dear sister i beg you to trust your instincts, what would you say to a dear friend if she was in this position?, what would you say to your daughter?, many many women would have saved themselves so much heartache and grief if they trusted their instincts prior to getting involved with certain men,

    Sister i hope you give this a good think, and i pray that God 'Allah' protects you from evil, i would also like to invite you to the religion of Islam, a religion that has honored women, and serves to protect women and their interests, my sister please never think of converting 'For' somebody rather please research Islam, as it will enrich your life and happiness eternally, my mother herself is a convert to Islam, and has had her life enriched greatly, i have posted below some links to youtube channels of some brothers in Islam who discuss Islam with non Muslims, perhaps if you have some spare time you could look into these to familiarize yourself with the religion

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHDFNoOk8WOXtHo8DIc8efQ
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx420FfPBbEboBvnYjIemzw
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnZPtuya_yUUqGZGHk1nEOA

    Sister in certain situations god gives us the initiative to realise when something is bad for us, if we choose to ignore this, then we lead ourselves down a path of ruin,

    i wish you all the best and all that is good, and i will be thinking about you.....

  6. Be very careful to not be blinded by his sweet talk. Meeting someone in person is so much different, you can sense what type of person he is if you are smart. Another way to know if this person is not a scam is to get a guardian/ male protector to talk with him or meet. This will tell you if his intentions are true or not. Some guys will want to avoid getting parents involve and manipulate the girl.

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