Oral sex with another man’s wife, is it zinaa?
One of my married friends received oral sex from a married woman, however he did not ejaculate in the process. The man is very tense and he asked forgiveness from Almighty Allah. He is interested to know about the punishment for this on the judgement day and in the world. Is this Zina?
-farman
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Asak ,
This is sinful and he should repent and not do again ...
AH
To my best understanding its equivalent to zina, he should do sincere repent and should not repeat such sinful act ever.
yes it is zina
why does he want to make public the thing that should be private?
how would he react if it had been his wife who had sex with another man? estafurullah.
Yes it is zina and a major sin
Cut all contact with the married woman, he and that woman should be ashamed. Tell your mate to stop this haraam and go with his own wife not someone elses. How would he feel if his own wife did this disgusting sin.
Shame on them both!!! They need to be in hell for cheating that's all I gotta say.
Lolz
AsSalaamu Alaikum,
The question should be, is this a sin???
What he did in itself is really a major sin and it's in the category of Zina, and that is indeed what has been forbidden. Allah mentioned not to go near Zina, and going near Zina is a sin, and what he did is even more than just going near zina.
Also, I see what he did as even worse than a zina with unmarried woman, because he didn't just disobey Allah, but he has also gone far enough to touch the right of his fellow innocent brother, he saw her Aura and they did what they did- how sad and horrible it is!!!
I can't promise him anything but I believe if he is very sincere in his repentance and never repeated the same sin with any married or unmarried woman his entire life, Allah might forgive him and have mercy on him in the end of his life.
However, if he ever repeats the same sin again, then I do not know how angry Allah is going to be at him.
May Allah forgive him and have mercy on him!
Yes, it's terrible.
Salam,
but your friend needs to ask for forgiveness from that wife's husband, because he violeted his rights and if he is married then he must ask for his own wife's forgiveness too.
You are right D,
I thought about the same thing. It is really unfair that the husband does not know. It is whitin his right to know and then decide whether he would want to contiue with her or not.
"Whoever has done an atom's weight of good will see it. And whoever has done an atom's weight of evil will see it." (Quran 99:7-8) "...No bearer of burden can bear the burden of another. Then to your Lord is your return; and He will inform you of what you used to do. He is aware of what the hearts contain." (Quran 39:7)
The truth is hard sometimes, when you fear another fitnah, but there is really nothing beyond the truth except falsehood. May Allah save us from such evils!!!
And yes, if he is also married, then he must inform his wife about it, for her to decide whether she would want to continue with him or not. “Allah does not burden any soul beyond its capacity. To its credit is what it earns, and against it is what it commits…” (Quran 2: 286)
Salam Bro,
you are understanding me. You are the first one...
99,99% of the scolars and conselor are guiding to deception, cheating or lying, but I really don't know, what's up with them...Islam teaches us to be honest and if you wrongdo, then you must inform them and ask for the people's forgiveness. If you don't, then you will have to face them in Akhirat and you will know everything, even if two people spoke SECRETLY bad about you (GIYBAT-which is wrongdoing too).
May Allah guide you my Brother Issah
Wa Alaikum Salaam Noapologies
I really understand what you are saying. However, I don't believe our Muslim scholars are actually guiding to to deception, cheating, lying or whatever. Their work is the contrary. If this question was being asked by a qualified scholar, I don't think he would answer portion of it without the rest, he will have the time to look into the matter well and answer it correctly. As for me such matters are really strange to me, as I have seen same matters from this site but which sound differently according to each matters sources, and I am confused sometimes. I just began to learn to understand the matter very well and about how to differentiate between this and that just recently, after I read responses of other brothers and sisters to similar matters.
Ameen, may Allah guide and help me!
You need to think carefully about what you are saying. What these individuals must do is stop their sin immediately and break all contact with each other, and repent to Allah sincerely for what they have done, and never repeat it again.
However what you are suggesting - telling the spouses - would certainly destroy both families. You have said yourself that you could not forgive someone for such a thing. So exposing the sin would result in two divorces. This would create suffering for all individuals involved and for the children as well, if any exist.
Furthermore those spouses, when they learn the truth, will be heartbroken and will experience bitterness, anger and resentment, and may find it difficult to trust others in the future. Or even worse - one of them might kill his spouse, or kill the other cheating party, leaving the children as orphans.
You are not doing them a favor by telling them. You are hurting them and creating fitnah.
It is better to leave the sin in the past and never repeat it, and not to expose it. Discretion in this matter is a kindness.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As-salamu Alaykum,
This is only my opinion, but I agree with this 100 percent. I have seen a lot of posts on this site recently suggesting that one must inform the person he or she has wronged. I have also heard many people around me say this in relation to backbiting in particular. In reality, though, it is not very wise or practical to go up to every person you have backbitten and tell them the bad things you have said as this is almost sure to create enmity between you. And how exactly is a man going to approach the woman's husband and ask forgiveness? The result would be an instant bloodbath.
The first thing is obviously to refrain from backbiting and committing other sins in the first place. If you did, though, you need to stop, repent to Allah SWT, and do your best to restore any rights that have been lost through your actions. In the case of backbiting, you might, for example, tell the people you were gossiping with that you made a mistake when you said such-and-such about such-and-such person. In the case of stealing, you should do your best to return the stolen property or money, even if anonymously. You do not need to expose yourself as a thief.
Cheating on a spouse is of course a very serious issue, but you must carefully weigh all of the consequences of such a confession. In many cultures, a woman would immediately be killed, if not by her husband, then by her own family. You must also think of the kids and other people involved.
Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud r.a. (May allah be pleased with him) related, “A man came to the Prophet and said: “Ya Rasulullah! I have mingled with a woman in the far side of Madinah and I fulfilled my desire short of actually having sexual intercourse with her. So, here am I, judge me according to what you decide.’”
Umar Ibn al-Khattab r.a. (May allah be pleased with him) then said: “Allah had kept your secret, why did not you keep your secret?” [Sahih Muslim]
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "All my Community are well, except the revealers." When asked who the 'revealers' were, he replied, "Those who sinned and slept in the covering of Allah, but then tore it off and revealed their sins."
I understand you too brother Wael, and I really understand what you are saying about the many fitnahs that may occur.
However, I personally think it's better to tell the truth (between the spouses) to prevent another future fitnahs, such as blackmail, deseases etc.
The other person (or anyone like a friend who knows about the secret), may use blackmail to get the other person to commit even worse than the first sin. But if the spouses are already aware about the truth, and have forgiven, there won't be anything to worry about. However, we can't really tell if the spouses can ever forgive and forget.
Thefore, the best thing is that, people should try very hard to stay away from such sins from the begining, to prevent such future fitnahs, fitnahs that do not have any end. May Allah save us from such evil deeds!!!
Assalam alaikum,
I have to agree with Br. Wael and Sr. Amel.
Sister Amel has given an example from the life of the Prophet--to this I will add that when a person conceals their sin, they live with the guilt of knowing their sin and it burdens them--and probably this guilt can feel like a punishment. Personally, I think this can be a good thing because it can prevent them from repeating mistakes and doesn't dump baggage onto their spouse or whoever they have wronged. Sometimes people tell their sin and think that a burden has been "lifted" when in fact, they have to continue to repent and improve themselves.
Each case should be assessed individually and planned accordingly.
Allah knows best and may Allah protect all of us from these sins. Ameen.
Good point. I think this is what I really need to consider well.
Salam,
and again: If you wrong your partner, you must ask for forgiveness.
And from the Hadtith we cannot see, if the man was married or slept with a married women.
"Telling the truth would bring divorce"
What do you really expect? It will cause divorce....
I don't know, what people are thinking...they play with their partners rights and by not telling them, they make the decision for their partner as well. That can never be fair.
Even if the families will fall apart, this is not due the one, who told the true, but it's because of the cheater.
Cheating = not loving your partner and childs
not loving your partner means= divorce
divorce = new chance for both of them
I am sorry, but men and women who cheat are ugly and they will get their punishment.
And the same for backbiting...it will of course create hatred, but you must go on and must ask for forgiveness everyday, so you can get forgiveness.
The mistake is made by backbiter, cheater....
And if someone doesn't want to forgive you, this is his choice...
the best thing is to make dua and then ask Allah, that he will give you strengh for forgiveness.
I wrongdid some people too, but now I ask them for forgiveness too and I do tell them everything, what I have done wrong to them. It's hard, but this is the price for the little lucky moments I had...
Again, I will say, it depends on the situation and the person. There is no point in going on in all the possibilities because we will always be able to find another situation.
If a spouse cheats and sincerely repents and changes their way--and later reveals to their spouse what they have done--the response might be "I wish you had never told me and kept that to yourself." Also, you said yourself that the Hadith doesn't mention whether the person was married or not--that in itself shows that the marital status of a person was omitted.
Anyways, I will limit what I say in this matter as I truly believe that Allah will punish and reward in a just manner. We have to balance our fear of Allah to avoid sin and have hope in his Mercy to avoid despair. We should neither advocate of Allah's Mercy alone, nor His Wrath alone.
So, for the one who has really repented and have changed, it's better for him/her to conceal the sin, unless if there is a clear need for revealing it, such as a blackmail or anything that could affect the spouse if not told the truth. Other than that, I now agree that it's better to conceal what Allah concealed and then do better till we meet Him with a clean heart and a sincere repentance.
Salam Sister Saba,
but we know that Maize (I think, it was him) was married. People who are married or were married get stoned.
People who are unmarried get 100 lashes.
And from the point we know is, that Allah will be justiceful to all his slaves. If you have stolen 2 USD, then you will have to pay for this 2 USD in hereafter.
If you have done other bad things, than you will have to pay in hereafter, but no with usd or gossiping, just with hassant.
So repend and ask them to forgive you.
May Allah bless all of you
Wa alaikum Assalam Br. D.,
I do not see any benefit in you repeating your point and me repeating mine.
We are not supposed to argue about these matters. Allah is Just, Merciful, Compassionate, and the Knower of all. Who are we to make decisions? Let me and you focus on increasing our good deeds and begging Allah for forgiveness for our wrongdoings.
There are many other posts to write on other than the few old ones about cheating spouses. So many hurt people in the world wondering about taking their lives and in pain. Let's help them to feel loved in the Muslim Ummah.
May Allah guide me to gain more knowledge and guide you too. Ameen.
Yeah you are right. Concealing is better, since I heard the story.
Arguing on this thing brings nothing.
Oh man, if you would understand, how hard it is to stay with my hands on keyboard.
This means for me, that I cannot get married anyhow. I don't think, that I should tell all this, but now, it's impossible for me to marry.
May Allah forgive me for not marrying.
I hope he will forgive me all past sins and replies in this forum and insallah he will take me to him after 5 years. I hope, that I will die soon and Allah forgives me for all my sins.
I hope I can get married to my real love in hereafter. She is the best girl, I have known about.
Salam Brother Wael,
yes people will be heartbroken, if they know.
But do these people want to live in Lie, where they think, that the partner was loyal, but in reality the partner was not.
And the ego of cheating, lying causes this kind problems. Just for the sake of little funny moments with the lover they lose everything. This is the price and this should be the price for everybody. So everybody should stay away from zina.
Believe me Bro Wael, you or someone else would do me a GREAT, GREAT, GREAT FAVOUR in telling me, that my wife cheated on me. This would help me in any way to take my own way and not live in a lie.
And everything will be revealed soon, so what's the point of concealing....
Salam Brother Wael,
why do you trash all my replies??? I don't get it really.....
Okay then let's live in an ignorant world, where spouses can cheat and lie , decept and afterwards they will be rewarded for their actions...is this really the answer I got from all this????
Because you are saying the same thing over and over again. You came to this website with an agenda to hammer at this one issue only. You made your point. Move on.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Dear brother noaplogies
i myself got decieved by a married man whom i did not know was married and he was with his wife but just flirting with me.
But i read in Surah Yusaf
"so patience is most fitting" (12:18)
Also, Allah says that you should hide others faults if you want yours to be hidden. So, i think even if one commits a fool act the other should be patient and deal it with wisdom instead of haste in judgement. Somtimes the hidden truth has great meanings. The end is just between you and Allah.
FiammaUllah!
Conceal it and Allah will conceal it for you. You are right.
Allah's mercy is great.
The second caliph said this in one story. Now what I am suppossed to say....
Sister Saba, Sumaira, Bro Wael and Issah are right.
Just don't do it and conceal it and hopefully Allah forgives you.