Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Our parents broke our engagement – what can I do to marry her?

i have question about istakhara, I got engagement 4 yrs before and her family did istakahara it come out positive
last year things happen and due to some relatives they said some stuff both sides and than we got bad feelings for each other, in short her mom calls my dad and they broke engagement
even it was not my intention that what happened coz I love her very much. I tried to fix this problem but they never give a chance to me.
I never did istakhara and I accept her and did tawaqal to allah
but last month I did istakhara by myself and it come out positive,
in the meantime the girl who still in my contact she said her family did istakhara again and it come out negative,
plz tell me the solution, what can I do? coz I love her very much and wanna marry her


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5 Responses »


  2. OP: last year things happen and due to some relatives they said some stuff both sides and than we got bad feelings for each other

    Both of your families should clear up the misunderstanding.

  3. Assalam alaikum,

    If you did Isthikhara and it came out positive and her family did Isthikhara and it came out negative, I think that you and her (and the families) do not understand Isthikhara.

    You should read the following:

    On that page it says:

    Shaikh Nuruddin Itr says: As far as the common practice today which people aspire to uphold, that Istikharah will only be correct if it is carried out by certain persons, and that a dream is necessary, this is extremism and obstanance, and is not the command of Allah nor His Rasul (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). This all stems from such constraint among the Muslims that does not behoove of them. This led them to abandoning one great Sunnah of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam), thus they deprived themselves of the merits of this great Sunnah and it’s blessings, and from blemishing it's purity.

    Talk to your family and share this information with them and see if they will talk to her family as well. Isthikhara should only be done by you and the girl. Isthikhara is not about dream interpretation.

    It really seems that you, her, and both your families have some communication that you have to clear up and hopefully both of you can get married inn shaa Allah.

  4. Your families should butt OUT and mind their own businesses. A lot of the time this is because of jealously and hatred and no other reason.

    My advise to both of you is follow your hearts in what you want, listening to family there is only so much you can do and if you really love someone then stand your ground.

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