Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My parents are against my hijab, what should I do?

religion hijab hijaab abaya headscarf

salaam alaikum,

I am engaged  to my cousin as my parents wish, and my fiance was always telling me about hijab and educated me more about islam because I was kind of an outgoing girl who likes to wear western type of clothes to parties and outside. I didn't know much about Islam and the hereafter, so this Ramadan I started wearing hijab to please my God first, and then also my future husband.

I have no issue wearing hijab because I like it and I do it, but in my family no one wears hijab except my mum and me. The rest of my family are against of wearing hijab like my sisters, father, brothers in law and my brother. They always makes fun of me, and my sisters are always telling me that I can't wear this and that type of clothes- like short dresses and stuff- because I am wearing hijab.  I always say to them that's fine  and that I am happy what I am wearing now.

But I am confused here, they are saying that wearing hijab and not wearing hijab is the same thing as long as you are Muslim and practice Islam.  They are like, there is no point of wearing it and it is not necessary in islam for women to wear hijab. It hurts me so much that all my family are against me and doesn't like me anymore because I am wearing hijab. I don't know what to do, I am so lost.

I need your advices  to tell me what should I do?

-sonia69


Tagged as: , , , ,

7 Responses »

  1. assalamalaikum-
    http://ibnfarooq.tripod.com/niqaab.htm
    The Messenger (saws) said:
    “THERE IS NO OBEDIENCE TO THE CREATED IF IT INVOLVES DISOBEDIENCE TO THE CREATOR (ALLAH).”
    ITS GOOD TO HEAR YOU ARE BECOMING THE BELOVED OF ALLAH THROUGH HIJAB-
    AND FOR THAT SATAN WILL DEFINETLY LOT GO AWAY SO EASILY-
    HE WILL TAUNT THROUGH YOUR RELATIVES SO THAT YOU ARE DISCOURAGED BECAUSE ONE WOOD BE MOTHER WILL TRAIN HER DAUGHTER ALSO AND DUE TO THIS ONE LINAGE OF YOURS IS GONE FROM HIS CLUTCHES-HE WILL DO HIS BEST-U HEARD ABOUT EELEPHANT AND DOG I THINK -BARKING CONTINUES THE ELEPAHNT GOES ON AS IF NOTHING HAS HAPPENED-

    But I am confused here, they are saying that wearing hijab and not wearing hijab is the same thing as long as you are Muslim.[AND PRCATICE ISLAM] WHICH ISLAM FOREFATHERS HOME MADE OR THE ONE ALLAH PRESCRIBED?
    SELF ASSURED ASSUMPTIONS DEFIES-SHARIAH ISLAM AND THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF ALLAH SENDING 124,000 PROPHETS AND MESSENGERS- ANSWER-PLS REPLY THEN WITH THIS-GIVE A COPY MAY BE THEY WILL ALSO CHANGE-

    I am liberated from slavery to 'physical perfection'
    Society makes women desire to become 'perfect objects'. The multitudes of alluring fashion magazines and cosmetic surgeries show women's enslavement to beauty. The entertainment industry pressures teens to believe that for clothes, less is better. When we wear Hijab, we vow to liberate ourselves from such desires and serve only God.

    I don't let others judge me by my hair and curves!
    In schools and professional environments, women are often judged by their looks or bodies-characteristics they neither chose nor created. Hijab forces society to judge women for their value as human beings, with intellect, principles, and feelings. A woman in Hijab sends a message, "Deal with my brain, not my body!"

    I feel empowered and confident
    In contrast to today's teenage culture, where anorexia and suicide are on the rise, as women attempt to reach an unattainable ideal of beauty, Hijab frees a woman from the pressure to 'fit in'. She does not have to worry about wearing the right kind of jeans or the right shade of eyeshadow. She can feel secure about her appearance because she cares to please only Allah.

    I feel the bond of unity
    Hijab identifies us as Muslims and encourages other Muslim sisters to greet us with the salutation of peace, "Assalamu Alaikum". Hijab draws others to us and immerses us in good company.
    In some Arabic-speaking countries and Western countries, the word hijab primarily refers to women's head and body covering, but in Islamic scholarship, hijab is given the wider meaning of modesty, privacy, and morality. The word used in the Qur'an for a headscarf or veil is khimār.
    CXXXIX: "Make allowances for people, command what is right, and turn away from the ignorant." (7:199)

  2. Dear sister, Asalaamualaykum,

    Hijab is obligatory upon Muslim women. Whether they choose to adhere to this or not is a different matter. A true Muslim has both belief in his/her heart and also puts the commands of Allah into action. Just imagine if we all said: 'We believe, but we dont need to pray, or do anything to prove it'. What then would be the point of Allah sending us the Quran and Sunnah? Sadly some Muslims do not quite understand their faith yet and are living in ignorance or denial. But alhumdulilah Allah has guided you through your fiance. So, keep persevering with your hijab through prayer and patience.

    Remember though, practising Islam maybe strange, almost even alien to your family. Be patient with them. When they see you are confident , happy and firm in your decision, they will eventually stop bothering you. Until then, remember that Allah is testing you, perhaps to see if you are really steadfast. Allah tests all of us in different ways. One thing is for sure though, if we persevere in the path of Allah, despite the difficulties, He will reward us.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Dear Sister,

    Masha Allah, It is time that you stop worrying about what others think about wearing Hijab. Allah has sent us the criterion and advised us about what is correct way of living life. Allow me to put forth this question , who are you living your life. For your family or Allah.

    Your answer is Allah and this is exactly what Allah Azwajal asks us in the Quran :

    Say: "Truly, my prayer and my service of sacrifice, my life and my death, are (all) for Allah, the Cherisher of the Worlds: (Quran Al-'An'am, 6:162)

    Your family members may not support it, but eventually they will learn to accept your attire.

    May Allah make easy for you!

  4. Walekum Salam,

    Sister Z has given excellent response.

    I am an example who is on way to start wearing hijab. in my family no one wear hijab (my mother just covers her head with dupatta) and we daughters were not taught about wearing it or its importance. when i got 21, i had wanted to start wearing but my family rejected my idea of it, at that time i didnt have guts to go against their will so i continued without hijab. now after almost 10 years later, when i am learning about my faith and i have realized its meaning and importance and i am working to change my wardrobe complete in line with islamic dress code. now i dont feel afraid of my family/work place/people anymore.

    so i would strongly recommend you that do not pay attention to what others say be it your family or friends. if you want to wear it, you like to wear- to please Allah(swt) and your future husband, is all that matter.

    Your Sister

  5. Wa Alaikum Salaam Sister,

    First of all, Hijab wasn't something new to the early generations before Islam. However, at the time of the Prophet (s.a.w.s).The women used to wear it sometimes, but they wore it very short most of the times, and their necks and ears including the shape of their chest were apparent, which some of them used in a way of seducing men. And then Allah descended a verse saying: "And tell the believing women to restrain their looks, and to guard their privates, and not display their beauty except what is apparent thereof (like their palms and perhaps faces too which they can't do anything without it), and to draw their coverings (Khimar/Hijab) over their breasts, and not expose their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, what their right hands possess, their male attendants who have no sexual desires, or children who are not yet aware of the nakedness of women. And they should not strike their feet to draw attention to their hidden beauty. And repent to God, all of you believers, so that you may succeed." (Quran 24:31)

    The "coverings" (or Khimar) means to wear a long Hijab that could cover the neck, ears and chest together with a long dress (like Abaya), or just to wear the long Hijab that could cover from your hair till toes. (Search google to see pictures of different types of "Khimar", as that is the word used by Allah in Arabic).

    As to your family, if they do not know (May Allah forgive them), educate them. But if they deny it and continued to laugh at you or hate you, then be patient and know that: "Messengers before you were also ridiculed, but those who jeered were surrounded by what they had ridiculed." (Quran 21: 41) "So do not obey the deniers. They would like you to compromise, so they would compromise. And do not obey any vile swearer. Backbiter, spreader of slander. Preventer of good, transgressor, sinner. Rude and fake besides. (Quran 68: 8-13)

    Also, when we go it the logic way, we will see that part of the reasons why it makes sense to cover the hair today is that, the hair has become part of what makes a woman's beauty complete. And therefore many women care about their hair very much, and they take good care of it. And you can see that even some of those who cover their hair would like to add some artificial or something to their hair, to make it look as if they have a long hair and make it attractive to others. So the point is that women are capable of using their hair to seduce men even when it's covered, let alone when it's uncovered.

    However, if they want to make their hair uncovered there are two ways:

    -1-They should not make their hair look neat nor attractive at all (No washings, No creams, No oils and No whatever they may call it).

    -2-They must shave the whole hair and show only the head (as suggested in the Bible).

    I don't think any woman is ready for those two options, and the only thing they can do without them is to cover the hair, and then do whatever they do under the Hijab, as long as it's unseen.

    Hope this helps Insha'Allah.

  6. Assalamu Alaykum sister,

    Continue wearing your hijab dear sister. You cannot disobey Allah in order to please people. Do not let their taunts get to you. If they see that you are serious about it, they will eventually stop taunting you. The longer you wear the hijab, the more confident you will feel. Make dua to Allah to make it easy for you to maintain your hijab. I can relate to your experience, I received taunts from people too, but when they saw that their words had no effect on me, they gave up trying to convince me to take it off. I still get negative comments once in a while, but I just ignore it. Life is a test dear sister and it is not always easy, but try to remain steadfast and Allah will make it easy for you Inshaa Allah.

  7. Keep telling your family and make sure to wear it in front of them so they can get use to seeing you with the hjiab.

Leave a Response