Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Parents are not letting their son to marry out of caste

Caste system chart

The roots of the Indian caste system can be found in the Hindu scriptures, although the caste system was adopted by other religions in India as well.

Asalam o Alikum

Respected Sir I have a matter to consult with you can u help me

my name is Hina sir I need your help my question is that i want to marry a boy his name is F even he also wants to marry me we both are from pakistan. he is 25 and i am 26 but he dont have issue with the age. He also completed his masters and doing a job as a accountant in a company he started his job last year he also gives me proper respect and care sir we do text on wattsapp like only this much good morning h r u ? did have ur breakfast then at lunch then at dinner time how r your parents and that's it we both are from same school but we started talking in 2014.

Sir the problem is his parents are not giving him permision to marry a girl out of caste. he tried to convince them alot but they are not saying yes. they have done same thing with his big brother and sir his big brother marry their where parents said but sir the result is very horrible sir. first three-years he was very happy with his wife but from last two years he started cheating his wife he was fully involve in non muslim women he was not having any concern for wife. he also have one daughter she is 3 years old sir. he also says now he is not having any relationship with that non muslim women  but he dont want more kid's he says he is ok with one no more. like all this type of things he is doing he is giving punishment to his parents by hurting that girl who is his wife.

after all this still his parents are not letting F to marry where he wants to but after all this F tried to convince them but they don't want to listen him they only say's him that you have to marry a girl of our choice. First F was not saying yes for that girl who is her uncle's daughter but he was emotionally black mailed by is parent's that they are old their all expiation are from F that he have to obey his parent's. All this things and he said ok I I'll agree but if they rejected me then you have to say yes for my choice at that his mother said ok and sir same thing happened his uncle rejected their proposal and den he again talked to his mother that you remember you said that if some thing happened like you are gona say yes for my choice. But she said I don't know ask you father about this and sir he said no that girl is not from our caste so sir he said what you are talking about caste our own caste has rejected me he said to his parents that if you are not going to say yes for her then i will never marry any other girl he also tried to convince them many but they dont want to listen.

They now says that what our other family members are going to say we can't not go against our family they also said that if you want to marry nada then ok I'll only com as a guest in you marriage and after that we are not having any relation with you any more and all this will happen after 1year not now
sir plz help me what F can do in this situation?

plz sir we both really love each other but his parents says that your big brother did not obeyed us now over all expations are from you. we know you will not do like how he did. but sir we both love each other and wants to marry his parents also said to him that you can marry any girl from the same cast but not with me coz i am not of their caste.

sir i prayed a lot, i also offer tahajjud everyday, do lots of dua, fast every monday and Thursday and also do tasbee every time sir. F  is hafiz and from ikhlak wise he is very nice person thats y my parents also give me permison to marry him but they are saying that F to come along with his parents like a proper way.

sir plz help me. he can also not live without me even i also but he can also not live without his parents and siblings plz sir help me what to? What are the limits within which parents may interfere in their son’s marriage Is he sinning if he goes against their wishes I want to marry a girl but to my family disapproved it.
Do I have the right in Islam to disobey the wishes of my family and marry her? thx waitng for your reply


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5 Responses »

  1. Bismillah
    Islam destroyed the walls of caste and race so youre free to marry who you want the rest is up to you

  2. subhaan Allaah sister Hinna

    What Ever you do, Don't marry this boy whose family is stuck in the Kafir ways of Jahiliya! They'll never let you forget that you're of a Lower caste and are likely to make life a Misery for you! There are Thousands of young Muslim men out there, who prefer Islam to Hinduism, so choose one of Them instead inshah'Allaah!

  3. WaAlaykumSalaam sister, Thing is. Yeah, you can marry him but if his parents say no. Then that is final. You prayed tahajjud but they raised him. Looked after him. Spent time and money on him. They want the best for him. I'm not saying you are not good for him but what I'm saying is. His parents have first rights. Not you. You should be strong my sister and say whatever is written is better for me because it is from Allah. Good or bad. Allah ka shukr karna chaye aur maafi bhee mangnee chaye. Don't meet this boy or keep to much chat because it will be harder to let go tomorrow. I do dua that Allah grant you what is best for you and make you prosperous and happy in life. Don't mind sister.

  4. Salamu Alaykum,

    If you look at the triangle above, you can see that they call the lowest 'caste' outcast/untouchables and to make it less worse 'children of God'. To say such thing means that their miserable life is God's choice and they have to deal with it. It really makes me mad!
    All (wo)men are equal.

    Dear sister, leave this boy, you probably love him but you are still young and I think your life is going to be very hard if you marry this man.
    His family won't accept you and probably treat you like a servant instead of a daughter in law.
    I know it's hard to leave someone you love but you should love yourself first. I mean, if you are strong and you know you are worth it, you will understand something better will be on your path.

    Head up high and be confident!
    This life is a test and we all have our burdens.
    It is up to us to show how we handle these difficulties.

    In sha Allah you find someone nice and sincere.

    May Allah give you the best in this life and the hereafter.

    • I agree with Jasmina.

      The caste system is against Islam. Do you really want to get married into a family who still cling to a haram system, and will most likely make your life hell after marriage?

      Pray Istikhara.

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