Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Parents don’t want me to get married because his family is non-Muslim

Does it really matter if he is a revert, so long as he is pious?

Does it really matter if he is a revert, so long as he is pious?

Assalamu'alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

I have a good friend who just accepted Islam alhamdulillah. For a few months, I have taught him about the Qur'an and Islam. After 6 months being a mualaf, we feel that we are very much connected and decided to get married.

The problem now is that my mom doesn't accept him because his family is non-Muslim. She said that she believes he's a good guy, but she will only accept the marriage after his parents accept Islam. Although he is always doing da'wah to his family, we know that this will take time. My mom mentions about a hadith that says that we must make sure the family is a good family and that includes being a Muslim. She also concerns about me having a kid and the fact that my child will have a non-muslim grandmother.

How does Islam view this? What hadith is she talking about? How am I supposed to "counter" her argument? I need a strong religious evidence that I can point it out to her for discussion. Thank you. Jazakallah.


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2 Responses »

  1. Salam sister, as far as my understanding goes Theres no such hadith - the man you marry must be Muslim and have good morals but I haven't heard anything about the family . Having said that if the man comes from a good family it's ideal because your mum is right your children will have interactions with their grandparents, uncles, aunts etc. Personally I don't feel that in laws have to be Muslim to be good to you. Read the 100s of stories on this site which reflect the destructive behaviour of so called Muslim in laws! I think whoever you marry it's important to meet and try to get to know his family too and you should do the same in this case. Find out if their good people, are they accepting of islam, do they have good morals etc etc.
    It must be difficult for parents to marrY their daughters becsuse there is always an anxiety about how their future spouse will treat them etc, and naturally if the spouse is from a different background it will increase that anxiety. Introduce your mum to his parents too so she can investigate for herself. Ask your friend to talk to your mum as well so he can reassure her. If they are people of good character and their son is a good person then I don't see why this marrisge cant go ahead. Give your mum some time and use gentle persuasion to convince her, but also use the time to get to know his family a little better too.

  2. Assalam alaikum,

    Your parents don't want you to marry him because of his parents - this is an unfair decision, if it is like this.

    You want to marry him, after being his good friend and then teaching him Quran - this is unfair as well because you must know that this was not Islamically sound.

    I suggest that you and him stop talking *alone* without anyone's knowledge. If you and him truly want to marry and this is sincere, and it seems it is, then you should have no problem in waiting, involving an Imam and giving time to your parents as well. Try harder to convince them and he should also try to understand your parents situation. If the future was today and his daughter also had a friend, who became Muslim and then wanted to marry her, I think he could understand why there is hesitation.

    May Allah make your trial easier and make you successful if it is best for you. May Allah swt allow understanding between you, your family and him, Ameen.

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