Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Parents not allowing marriage because he is Alevi

Turkish Alevis praying

Turkish Alevis praying

I want to get married with a friend I've  known for a few years now, I know he's the one and I'm in love with him. The thing is I'm Sunni and he is Alevi.  I don't want to do anything in the haram way, so I'd like to get married to him but my mother is saying no because he is Alevi and saying that my father will also not want to give me away to him.  I believe this is very unfair as he himself is a very good person.

We are both turkish, therefore turkish alevis are basically the same as us but are abit more laid back. I know we believe certain things differently in religion, but he doesn't mind and will continue learning the religion my way if thats what it takes. I don't want to have to leave home without my parents blessings in order to marry him, but if my parents keep saying no because of that reason I think I might have to. He is Muslim in the end and the same nationality as me, shouldn't that be all that matters?

What can i possibly do? My father is very strict and will not change his mind. What will happen if I leave home and marry him without my father acting as my wali..I really do NOT want to do this because i love my family very much and worry about the future sometimes..but i really do think he is compatible for me and would love a future with him, but my parents will not allow it just because he is alevi, doesn't it say that a muslim should never outcast another muslim due to these different sects? is what my parents are doing right? what can i do, convincing my parents will not really work.


- maz

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31 Responses »

  1. Dear Maz, Asalaamualaykum,

    Imam Abu Dawood (ra) concerning the division of the Muslim Ummah into 73 sects in his Sunan (3/4580, English edn) said: Abu Amir al- Hawdhani said, "Mu'awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan (ra) stood among us and said: 'Beware! The Apostle of Allah (saw) stood among us and said':

    'Beware! The People of the Book before (you) were split up into 72 sects, and this community will be split up into 73, seventy-two of them will go to Hell and one of them will go to Paradise, and it is the majority group (Jama'ah).'

    Imam al-Tirmidhi (ra) said: "The explanation of al- Jama'ah according to the people of knowledge is: They are the people of Fiqh, knowledge and Hadith." (Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 4/2167; Ahmad Shakir ed'n).


    So dear Maz, if you want to marry a Muslim, you will need to establish what your 'potential' believes in. He may be calling himself a Muslim, but un-known to him, his beliefs may fall outside of the folds of Islam. If his Alevi beliefs cause him to reject the teachings of Islam, then he is not a Muslim. What does Islam teach us to believe in:

    1) The 6 Pillars of Faith: Oneness of Allah and that Muhammed is His last Messenger, His Angels, His Books, The Day of Judgement, Qadr(destiny), Heaven and Hell and the Unseen and

    2) The 5 Pillars of Islam: Worship of Allah alone, praying 5 Salaah, Fasting during Ramadan, Paying Zakah, and Performing Hajj.

    3) Belief in the authentic Sunnah/Hadith of The Messenger of Allah.

    I do not know much about 'Alevism', but my brief internet research on has told me this:

    1] The Alevi are a religious, sub-ethnic and cultural community, primarily in Turkey, numbering in the 25 millions. Alevis are classified as a branch of Shia Islam, however there are significant differences in Alevi beliefs, traditions and rituals when compared to other orthodox sects. Alevi worship takes place in assembly houses (cemevi) rather than mosques. The ceremony (âyîn-i cem, or simply cem), features music and dance (semah) where both women and men participate. Instead of Arabic, the respective native language is predominant during rituals and praying.

    2] "Alevi" is generally explained as referring to ‘Alī ibn Abī Tālib, cousin, and son-in-law of Muhammad. The name is a Turkish pronunciation of ‘Alawī (Arabic: علوي‎) "of or pertaining to ‘Alī".

    3] Alevi beliefs are hard to define, since Alevism is a diverse movement without any central authority, and its boundaries with other groups are poorly demarcated. Many teachings are based on an orally transmitted tradition which has traditionally been kept secret from outsiders (but is now widely accessible).

    4] The basis for Alevism's most distinctive beliefs is found in the Buyruks (compiled writings and dialogues of Sheikh Safi al-Din (eponym of the Safavi order), Ja'far al-Sadiq (the Sixth Imam), and other worthies). Also included are hymns (nefes) by figures such as Shah Ismail or Pir Sultan Abdal, stories of Hajji Bektash and other lore.

    5] Alevis believe in the unity of Allah, Muhammad, and Ali, but this is not a trinity composed of God and the historical figures of Muhammad and Ali. Rather, Muhammad and Ali are representations of divine energies, the first of which is Allah. In Alevi thought there are three creative principles, the latent breath or Allah, the prototypal human which is made up of active and passive principles or Muhammad and the divine light or Ali. In Christianity these three principles are called the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Likewise, in Alevi belief the father is likened to Allah, the Son to Muhammad and the Holy Spirit to Ali. In Judaism, Crown, Queen and King. In Hinduism Brahma, Shiva and Vishnu. In ancient Egypt they took the names Osiris, Iris and Horus

    6] Festivals
    Newruz "New Day" is the Persian New Year observed on 21 March (the Spring equinox) as a celebration of newness and reconciliation. It is celebrated by many modern Turkic peoples as well. Apart from the original beliefs of the Zoroastrians regarding the New Year, Alevis also celebrate and commemorate the birth of Ali, his wedding with Fatima, the rescue of the prophet Yusuf from the well, and the creation of the world on this day. Various cems and special programs are held.

    Hıdırellez honors the mysterious figure Khidr (Turkish: Hızır) who is sometimes identified with the prophet Elijah (Ilyas), and is said to have drunk of the water of life. Some hold that Khidr comes to the rescue of those in distress on land, while Elijah helps those at sea; and that they meet at a rose tree in the evening of every 6 May. The festival is also celebrated in parts of the Balkans by the name of "Erdelez," where it falls on the same day as Đurđevdan or St. George's Day.

    Khidr is also honored with a three-day fast in mid-February called Hızır Orucu. In addition to avoiding any sort of comfort or enjoyment, Alevis also abstain from food and water for the entire day, though they do drink liquids other than water during the evening.

    Note that the dates of the Khidr holidays can differ among Alevis, most of whom use a lunar calendar, but some a solar calendar.

    The Muslim month of Muharram (Turkish: Mâtem Orucu) begins 20 days after Eid ul-Adha (Kurban Bayramı). Alevis observe a fast for the first twelve days. This culminates in the festival of Ashura (Aşure), which commemorates the martyrdom of Husayn at Karbala. The fast is broken with a special dish (also called aşure) prepared from a variety (often twelve) of fruits, nuts, and grains. Many events are associated with this celebration, including the salvation of Husayn's son Ali ibn Husayn from the massacre at Karbala, thus allowing the bloodline of the family of the prophet to continue.

    The solstice and equinox celebrations and their confusion with historical and human incarnations are very well mirrored in Christian religious, and even political, celebrations, e.g. May Day and Christmas, and more closely still with Celtic traditions.

    7] Almsgiving
    Alevis are not expected to give Zakat in the Islamic mode, and there is no set formula or prescribed amount for charity. A common method of Alevi almsgiving is through donating food (especially sacrificial animals) to be shared with worshippers and guests. Alevis also donate money to be used to help the poor, to support the religious, educational and cultural activities of Alevi centers and organizations (dergâh, vakıf, dernek), and to provide scholarships for student

    8] Sacred places
    While Alevism does not recognize an obligation to go on pilgrimage, performing ziyarat and du'a at the tombs of Alevi-Bektashi saints or pirs is quite common. Some of the most frequently visited sites are the shrines of Şahkulu and Karacaahmet (both in Istanbul), Abdal Musa (Antalya), Battal Gazi (Eskişehir), the annual celebrations held at Hacıbektaş (16 August) and Sivas (the Pir Sultan Abdal Kültür Etkinlikleri, 23–24 June). Some Alevis make pilgrimages to mountains and other natural sites believed to be imbued with holiness.


    Maz, my limited and brief search of Alevism is enough to tell me that this sect of people have deviated very far from the real teachings of Islam. No-where in their teachings have I found any reference to the Quran and Sunnah whereas these to sources of information are our fundamentals basis of Islam. Without these two - we would have no recorded guidance. My analysis shows that:

    - Concept of Allah: their concept of the Oneness of Allah is not clear and borderlines with the confused trinity of Christian belief. Islam makes things very clear that Allah is One, there is no-one worthy of worship but Him. Muhammed(saw) is the last and final Messenger of Allah, he is not divine, but a mere human being like you and I. Ali(ra) was not a Prophet or a Messenger, but he was the cousin, son in law and close companion of the Prophet Muhammed(saw), he was also not divine and was just a mere human being like you and I.

    - Almsgiving: Alevis give charity but they do not follow the Islamic guidelines. Islamically, the one who can afford to do so, giving Zakah is compulsory for a Muslim. Although the Quran does not specify the exact amount, the Sunnah of our Prophet(saw) does, and this states it is a minimum of 2.5% of your possessions yearly.

    - Pilgrimage: Alevis do not believe in performing Hajj which is again another very important pillar of Islam. Instead they give reverance to their own sites where their 'saints' are buried. This is an innovation as Allah has already instructed us that we should perform pilgrimage only to Makkah. Other sites which we as Muslims should revere are the Prophet(saw)'s Masjid in Medina and Masjid Al-Aqsa in Palestine as this is where all the Prophets congregated behind the Messenger of Allah to pray Salaah.

    - Festivals: The Alevis here aswell have made up and given importance to their own festivals which have nothing to do with Islam. One common one being in Muharram. They along with other Shi'ite people fast in Muharram in rememberance of the Karbala. They pay no significance to the fasting of the 9th and 10th of Muharram which was a Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah. It had nothing to do with Karbala and was recommended to fast only to thank Allah for saving Bani Israel from Firaoun.


    Maz, I have highlighted only a few points here, but to 'my understanding' all of them signify that Alevism is a deviant sect of Islam and infact 'in my personal opinion, I believe that their beliefs fall outside of Islam making them non-Muslim. As a Muslim woman, you are permitted to marry only a Muslim. When we are in love, everything seems fair, we become blinded. But we must remember that our purpose in life is to serve Allah alone. You are fortunate in that you already have Islam in your life. Learn what is expected of you as a Muslim and then move forward from there. I do not think that all is lost for you, so please do not resort to becoming emotional and angry with your family. They care about you and their concerns are quite frankly spot on. As things currently stand, I think your parents are right in rejecting this man.

    However, you said that this man is willing to learn Islam 'your way' - thats good. So then do the intelligent thing: Learn about your deen yourself and if your 'potential' means whats he says, then encourage him to learn the real Islam aswell. He can attend Islamic classes at a local mosque and read books or learn from your father, if he is willing to teach him.

    If this man accepts the real Islam, only then is he a halaal choice of marriage partner for you. If he becomes a Muslim, then your parents will have no reason to reject him. If your parents still reject him after he has become a practising Muslim, then I can say that your parents are being unreasonable. Only then will you have a leg to stand on when it comes to arguing your way with your father.

    If he does not accept the true Islam, then you need to make a choice. You either ignore your Islamic boundaries and marry him as he is, thereby displeasing Allah and jeopardizing your hereafter. Or you leave him and turn to Allah and hope for a better future with Allah's blessings.

    *** Being Muslim is not just lip service. There are beliefs that give us our faith and acts of worship that become our physical manifestation of that faith.

    InshaAllah one of the Editors will check through what I have written incase of any mistakes. May Allah forgive me if I have made any errors in my understanding here.

    SisterZ Editor

    • Mainstream Muslim scholars do not consider Alawis or Alevis to be Muslim. The Alawis believe Ali (RA) to have been God on earth, astaghfirullah. They are a bizarre offshoot of Ismailism, which itself is an offshoot of Shiism. It is not appropriate for a Muslim to marry an Alawi. If the Alawi converts to Islam then Alhamdulillah, but you must be sure that he/she is converting sincerely and not for show, as such sects have a history of concealing their true beliefs from the Muslim world, for their own survival.

      Wael Editor

      • Lol, had I known that one very clear fact Wael, it would have saved me alot of copying and pasting!!

        Oh, well, I know quite abit about Alevis now, haha.

        SisterZ Editor

      • convert to islam? so your saying they are not does that work. The guy im talking about fasts and everything he doing this because he is not a muslim? :s ..i can agree with all your responses about how they are not into religion as much as we are because that is in fact very true as i have seen it in a lot from alevis..but if they do fast and believe in allah then i think it does make them muslim?

        • maz, Alawis have some elements of Islam in their religion. So you may sometimes see them fasting and they may appear to be Muslims. But their religion is not Islam. For example, Alawis celebrate Christmas, Easter, and Epiphany, and use sacramental wine in some ceremonies. They believe that Ali ibn al-Khattab (RA) was God in the flesh, and that Ali created Muhammad (pbuh), who created Salman al-Farisi (RA). This is their Trinity.

          They also reject the Quran entirely.

          Another heretical belief is that men are reincarnated multiple times. Faithful Alawis believe they must undergo transformation seven times before they can return to take their place among the stars, where Ali is the prince. If not faithful enough, they can be reborn as Christians.

          Strangely, according to Alawis women do not have souls and are not reincarnated. Because of this, none of the secrets of Alawi doctrines are taught to them. So it's unlikely that this man would ever reveal true Alawi doctrine to you. He may not even know it himself, since their prayer book, Kitab al Majmu, is secret, and only selected Alawis are taught the secrets of the religion.

          It's very clear that they are not Muslim.


          • that sounds pretty scary....but the turkish alevis i know do not do any of the in celebrating christmas and believing in that whole reincarnation and womens have no soul thing. Na he believes in the quran and everything..but i think i do need to speak to him more about all of this.

      • In my opinion, you are not right brother, we do not believe Ali to be a form of Allah on earth. Also we are not Bizzare. Have some respect for your Fathers children.

        • In October 2004, the Istanbul-based, centre-right, daily newspaper Hurriyet cited Ali Dogan, the General Chairman of the United Federation of Alevi-Bektasi Oragnizations, who described the Alevi faith in the following manner:

          ... Alevism is neither a religion nor a sect ... [T]he only point (Alevism) shares with Islam is that it incorporates "the trinity of God, Mohammed, and Ali." ... Alevism [is] "a unique philosophy, a faith, a way of life, a culture, a teaching, and indeed a social formula peculiar to Anatolia that is anthropocentric and that goes beyond all these." ...


        • Fathers children?? :S

      • My Mom is alawi and she don't consder imam all as his on earth and she is Muslim and she pray and fast so open your maind we all muslim yes the some buzzer idea but they alevi and the alwi are muslim

  2. Salam Sister,

    Im glad the above actually tried to research on Alevis and Alawis. Although I dont think wikipedia is very accurate. I am half Turkish half Lebanese. My mother is Alawi and My father is Alevi.

    If I am not Muslim, neither are you. Do you see how things get mixed up in media and conversations about Islamic people in general? For example, how Islamic men are allowed to beat their women, and women have zero rights, and all muslims men engagae in polgamoy etc etc. It is a stereotype.

    This is like saying Orthodox Christians are not Christians. Yes most Alevi and Alawi people are more 'laid back' you can say. But that is a cultural thing, not from religion. You can actually find religious Alevis and Alawis.

    I will tell you now, your parents will not let you marry this brother due to a history of distatefullness between the two sectors, and that is purely the only reason. Turks and Arabs are too proud. (I know that was a generalisation, im sorry if I offend anybody)

    I was in a similar situation, I wanted to marry a Sunni Turkish boy I went to school with who was my high school sweetheart. But sadly, my parents said no, only because he was Sunni, and I am loyal to my family (I am in no way trying to say you are not, we are just a very close knit family) and AlhamdulAllah, I found a Turkish Alawi man who is my best friend and lover and we wed 3 years ago.

    Take your time in making your decision, love will always be there, especially if he is really the one. Try to explain things to your parents, in a peaceful and adult manner. They will respect you for it.

    Goodluck Sister.

    • Dear Hannan,

      Seeing as you are Alevi/Alawi and are claiming/implying that myself and Wael have given incorrect information about Alevism, can you tell us what your version of this ideology is? Wikipedia may not always be 100% accurate, but I am sure it is not 100% innaccurate either and the information I read on there regarding Alevism was not from the Quran or Sunnah.

      SisterZ Editor

    • Yeah I get you, but that's the thing that I find so stupid that my parents will not allow me to marry this man due to him being alevi ? that's unfair because this is just going back to the ancient ages about the differences between us etc and how they are not good so on and so forth. We are living in the 21st century and it upsets me that my parents will say no based on something that was brought up years ago - dividing us into our sects and stuff. Im glad that it all worked out for you in the end really, but I really love this person..and i truely think he is the one - i want to spend the rest of my life with him, ive never ever been more certain and sure about something in my entire life. Explaining things to my parents will honestly not do much as they will bring that whole sunni vs alevi thing back into it..and because of this i actually do not find him being alevi a relevant excuse for me to not marry him. i truely do not know what to do!

      • Maz. Having seen someone with the same dilemma as you who walked away from him rather than marry him i wil tell u that these differences may not affect u now. Just wait til u have kids n u both wanna pass ur views to them. How confusing for the child. I no i would want my child to have the same islamic upbringing as me. And guys say its all ok to carry on doin ur own thing after marriage. Reality is not that. If i were you i wud leave it i no its hard. But u really wil break ur parents heart they have a valid reason to say no to this. The only way if i were u that u shud marry him is if he studys the quran and sunnah and decides on this to follow as a sunni. if he does this by choice then marry him. U want someone who wil help you get to heaven maz. And u can help them.

        • Yeah i understand, but these are things that we have spoken about. Just today I had brought religion up with him again. He is no different from me, religion wise. I told him that I would want to raise my kids to be sunni, he has agreed to this. You cannot push someone into islam, islam needs to come to them. It is you alone who will face Allah on judgement day. People are brought up in different ways, but it is the individual who will choose what path they will go on within islam.

          • As salamu alaykum, maz,

            Do you realize a muslimah can marry just a muslim man?

            You are very clear about everything, I see you have pondered the consequences but even when you are so clear, you doubt.

            Have you done Istikhara to ask Allah(swt) for guidance in this situation?

            At the top of the page you have a link with all the information related to Istikhara.

            Wael wrote this in a comment, I think will help you too, insha´Allah: "The point of Istikhara is that we ask Allah to decree for us the outcome that is good for us, and to remove us from what would be harmful, then we trust Allah to do so. We trust that Allah has heard our dua', and that He will protect us from harm, and will determine a good fate for us, whatever that may be. That's all, that is the principle of Istikhara. There is nothing mentioned in the Sunnah about dreams, or colors in dreams, or birth dates and names, or an inclination of the heart. Only that you pray, then you proceed, trusting Allah.

            May Allah guide you to the best action in your case."

            I hope it helps, insha´Allah.

            All my Unconditional Love and Respect,


      • Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh!

        Dear sister Maz.

        Remember your life is short and it's a test. One day you will be laid down in your grave, deep down into the one will be there with you NO ONE!!! Not even your near and dear ones.... Only your deeds will accompany you....and then there's no more chance to rectify....

        so i want you to keep your emotions aside and think about your life....Dont you know that Allah is All Powerful... so maybe you will marry this guy and Allah S.w.t mite take away his soul few seconds after your wedding... sorry i dont want to scare you 🙁 ....but im concerned about your akhira sister....i have gone thru this phase and Alhamdulillah AllahS.w.t guided me and made me realize nothing is more important in life than Allah S.w.t...

        the funny thing is each one of us individually think "my sweet heart is a different person"... most of the sad stories had this touch of blindness....

        I hope and pray that AllahS.w.t will guide you and grant you what is best for you in this world and akhira...

        by the way....if the difference was between the 4 madhabs (shafi',hanbali,maaliki,hanafi) or salafi, wahabi it's ok.......BUT waaay sister!! 🙁 they are out of the fold of islam!!

        if you wont care about your religion everything in your life and the next life will be destroyed...!!

        how can a person think of having a happy life by not considering the do's and donts set up by the Creator who is in charge of everything (that includes granting happiness and success not just in the next life but also in this world)...

        Surah Luqman Ayah 33 - O mankind! Be afraid of your Lord (by keeping your duty to Him and avoiding all evil), and fear a Day when no father can avail aught for his son, nor a son avail aught for his father. Verily, the Promise of Allah is true, let not then this (worldly) present life deceive you, nor let the chief deceiver (Satan) deceive you about Allah.

    • im now going through this same sitaution and reading your adivce has really helped me. Its true, and it seems you found more happiness after your first love,and the way i see it is, if we are suppose to be thogether, Allah would have made us both sunni's.

      Allah huakbar!

  3. Ofcourse,

    Alevi's do have more emphasis on Ali, however, we do not believe him to be anything close to Muhammed (pbuh) or anything like God (swt).
    Alevi's are more laid back depending on who you talk to. You can find lots of Islamic people who are laid back with religion, that does not mean the religion is laid back.
    We believe and follow the Quran. We believe in the following the five pillars, we fast, we pray five times a day.
    You will definitely find Alevi people who actually drink. Again, not a religious thing, we know we are not suppose to drink. Its a culture thing.
    You will often find people celebrating the fun of christmas and easter, not celebrating the rise and death of Jesus, if that makes sense. Things like giving presents and Easter eggs are not uncommon. Although im sure it is not a sin to have fun with children. We are not actually celebrating the holiday in its rightful way.

    "They believe that Ali ibn al-Khattab (RA) was God in the flesh, and that Ali created Muhammad (pbuh), who created Salman al-Farisi (RA). This is their Trinity."
    That could not be more wrong, and Im not sure where you would find something like this. Like I said above, we put more emphasis on Ali then on for example, Abu Bakur, but that is just wrong.

    "Strangely, according to Alawis women do not have souls and are not reincarnated. Because of this, none of the secrets of Alawi doctrines are taught to them."

    Women have souls. However, what you are actually right about, is the secrets of the Alawi doctrine which are only taught to a man.

    Men in their adult years, have to visit an Immam, who teaches them the Quran answers any questions a man has about Islam, and tries to keep men on the right track when it comes to religion. They can come to this Immam about anything.

    I hope I have helped.

    • So sister Hannan, after telling us your version of Alevi beliefs, you admitted in the end that you really don't know, since only men are taught the secrets of the religion.

      If these are your personal beliefs, then Alhamdulillah. However, they are not representative of Alevi beliefs in general. Almost all sources agree that the Alevis have a trinity which consists either of Allah, Ali and Muhammad, or Ali, Muhammad and Salman. However, the question of which one is supreme is disputed.

      In the 20th century, certain powers made an effort to bring the Alawis under the fold of Islam, under the umbrella of 12 Imam Shiah. However, this was seen mostly as a political move, and the truth is that even the Shi'ah are unwilling to accept the Alawis as Muslims.

      Wael Editor

    • If i may ask a very crucial question,

      Where in the Quran or authentic hadith is it ever told about transferring "secrets" and "only" among men?

      "and tries to keep men on the right track when it comes to religion"

      what do you mean women dont have to be on track when it comes to religion????? *_*

      Check out the history and you will find great women scholars of Islam like Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). We wouldnt have had women scholars if religion was meant only for men...

    • How do we know this isn't taqiyya?

  4. Salam,

    I understand why you would all assume Alevis/Alawis are not Muslim, and each is entitled to their opinion. Im not going to argue about it actually.

    Why the Imams only tell men, is because men are assumed to tell their daughters, sisters etc. Whether they do or they do not is on the man, not the people in general. I believe if you ask most Alevis/Alawis what they are, they will say they are Muslim, and then maybe go on to tell you they are Alevi, because they believe they are. I do not know why websites or scholars would say they do not recognise the Qur'an because every single Alevi/Alawi person I know does recognise and believe.

    The things that are only taught to a man are true. As I said before. There is a story behind that. (Again you can all fall and argue and ask WHY IS IT ONLY FOR A MAN BLABLA, but im not up for arguing, its what they believe, full stop im just telling you what I know)

    Obviously, there are differences, thats why they have sectors, you don't have sectors and all sectors believe the exact same thing, then there would be no use for them.

    As for the Taqiya question. Im sorry I don't fully understand. Do you mean are the Alevi people hiding their belief and saying there is a Doctrine for theyre safety? Or they say they believe in the Qur'an for their safety?

    • So Hannah,

      You mean to say that Alevis DON"T believe that the Qur'aan was changed by Yazeed?
      You fast ramadhaan or only the 12 days of Muharram because of the comemmoration of Karbala?
      You do not hate Abu bakr(radiyallahu anhu),Umar(radiyallahu anhu) and Uthmaan (radiyallahu anhu) because you think they conspirated against Ali(radiyallahu anhu)?
      What about the alcohol 'Raki',is it not used in your Alevi-only ceromonies?
      You do not reject that Muhammad (pbuh) was the last prophet? You do not believe the last prophet was supposed to be Ali(radiyallahu anhu) (naoodhubillaah)
      What is you intention before you do something??? Do you say Bismillah,or do you say Bismishah Allah Allah? (Astaghfirullah Al-Adheem!)
      Some of you do not believe Ali (radiyallahu anhu) to be the personification of God? (Nauthu billaah!) You do not believe the ka'aba to be the symbol of Ali(radiyallahu anhu)?
      You do not believe in Shamaniasm which is infact,utter satanism?

      Takiyya,as I'm assure you know, is the element of faith amongst shias to conceal their true beliefs. Is that not what you are doing here? How can you believe something you do not know? Its like the Jaahiliyya kuffar who died upon ' upon our forefathers'

  5. I wrote much of the Wikipedia article quoted above! And found my way to this page by coincidence.

    Alevis do not completely agree on what Alevism is. Most (but not all) see it as a form of Islam, and their identity cards reflect this. However, the differences with Sunni Islam (or even mainstream 12-er Shi'ism) are rather large, since Alevis reinterpret a number of key Islamic teachings. Of course, since few Sunni Turks are very religious, it may not make a great deal of difference that Alevism allows drinking or does not practice the hajj to Mecca, for example. Your boyfriend will be a better source of information about his identity and beliefs.

    As for marriage, I am not sure what to recommend. If he is a good man, and you love him, then that is most important, but the religious and family problem is not a small one. (Perhaps you could consider emigrating to Europe, where you would be safe from reprisals and honor-killing.) Good luck to both of you.

    • Dawud,

      Amazing. You wrote the wiki article? Where did you get your information from.

      Regarding your above comment, hajj is a pillars of Islam and if anyone rejects this, they risk falling out of Islam. So its not a small matter and wouldnt recommend the sister to elope! Hmm. Its been a good long while since this post was published, so I wonder what the sister did.

      SisterZ Editor

      • I remember asking an Alevi in Syria what they thought about Gibral AS, they sent la'nat upon him because INAUDIBILLAH they think he should have given revelation to Ali RA not Muhammad PBUH.

        Apparently humans are smarter than the divine

  6. Salam,

    Laa'iqah, let me start off by saying, there is no harm in debating, correcting or even bluntly stating your opinions and beliefs. But theres a difference when all the above are just plain rude.

    I grew up in a family were religion was only a priority when it came to marriage. So Alhamdulallah, my husband and I have come a along way in religion. I have never even heard of Alevi or Alawi people believing that the Quran was ever changed. Every Alevi and Alawi person I know, fasts the full 30 days of Ramadan. EVERY person I know.
    Yeah youre right,people may hate Abu Bakr. The whole feud between sectors was that people believed Abu Bakr was not the rightful successor, and that Ali was. But dont sit here and judge, I know PLENTY of Sunni people who REFUSE to call their sons, Ali, for that matter. That does not mean I sit here and say OMG Sunni people hate Ali they are doomed for hell. Calm down.
    No, I, nor my husband, his ffamily, my family, or relatives have ever believed Muhammad (pbuh) was not the last prophet. How could we pray and say the words we say, if we thought that wasnt the case?
    Yeah we do say Bismillah, before we do things, before we eat, I say it every morning as I wake up.

    Maybe some people do believe Ali is the personification of God, (Astagferallah). But I dont. Im sure lots of Alawi's dont.

    And to be honest, I do not even know what Shamaniasm is. So I cant help you bag me out there.

    "Takiyya,as I'm assure you know, is the element of faith amongst shias to conceal their true beliefs. Is that not what you are doing here? How can you believe something you do not know? Its like the Jaahiliyya kuffar who died upon ' upon our forefathers'"

    And let me tell you something. Don't assume, anything, about anybody. You take care of yourself and others will take care of themselves. Dont accuse me or concealing anything on this site. I dont know you, you dont know me. Im not here to talk and ask and question, only to conceal.

    The Islamic faith is a beautiful one. People from all over, come altogether to pray, to love and to learn. We all try to do the very best that we can. I was actually very angered by your response because it showed a lack of patience and understanding. I live in Sydney, and I live in a suburb where the majority of people are Sunni muslim. Let me tell you, I could say a lot about these people and how they 'act' religious and pious, but when they meet me and know im Alevi truths fall out of their mouths. About drinking, clubbing, sexual activities etc. Because they think we condone these things and they feel i guess safe to tell me. If youre going to judge, judge on lifestyle, actions. Dont just blurt out what youve read. Youve never lived as a Alevi or Alawi, so you wouldnt know.

    I have lots of family who have been to Hajj, or who are waiting to be able to afford it, or who want to wait till their kids are old enough to go with them. So, no, Hajj is not foresaken in our beliefs.

    "I remember asking an Alevi in Syria what they thought about Gibral AS, they sent la'nat upon him because INAUDIBILLAH they think he should have given revelation to Ali RA not Muhammad PBUH.

    Apparently humans are smarter than the divine"
    Normal poster, you asked one person. Congratulations.

    I hope Allah will forgiven me for my tame rudeness. These posts just upset me.


  7. so mez, did you get married?

  8. Sallams all good folk .. this is so interesting - lots of differing points- I too would like to know whether the lady ' Maz' did finally reach a decision about her choice of partner? As a Sunni Muslim who is facing a similar dilema , I am intrigued. At my age ( +40) divorced a decade ago , no children , finding an opportunity to be happy for the middle age years that follow and inshallah more, a good man that believes in Allah swt and the basic tenents of Islam , does good and treats people so compassionately - as people , who will answer to Allah swt , is this not equally valuable? Any informative responses will be much appreciated! Shukran

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