Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Parents not happy with Son’s marriage to a married woman…

islam nikah

Salam wailaikum...

I have a query, can you please assist me with...

A male friend single has an affair with the neighbors wife.
The neighbors wife is married and has 2 children aged 5years and 2years at the time of the incident.
When news broke out of this relationship, both familes called a meeting to resolve the issue.
Both side of the families wanted to stop this unlawful relationship.
During the course of this meeting the male friend and neighbors wife walked out to start their own life.
The neighbors wife filed for divorce. The divorce went through and then the male friend married the neighbors wife.

Now, the male friend plus his wife after years (5years) have one child.

They are now renting a flat and living in the same building, a floor below to the male friends Parent's flat.

They now want to come back and live with the male friends Parent's as a joint family.

The male friend has thought after many years my parents anger would have gone and they will accept them back.

The male friend keeps in touch with his brothers and sisters. They all want to be back together.

However, because of the situation that happened the Parent's have not forgiven the male friend and do not want to accept him and his family back.

The male friend has attempted to see the Parent's but the Parent's have refused to see them or talk to them even the grandchild.

Deep inside the Parent's are suffering as their son is living with them very close but cannot accept the fact what he has done.

What is the best way of resolving this issue islamically. That the Parent's will understand and accept them back. I believe if an islamic resolution is given in front of the parents, referencing from the Hadith, they will accept them. Please advice & assist.

Anonymous Muslim

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2 Responses »

  1. He has done the worst and broken families and sinned .

    If a person turns a woman against her husband and spoils her for him so that she leaves him, then he marries her, his marriage is not valid and they must be separated, according to the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allah have mercy on him). This is also the view of the Maalikis. For more information on the ruling on this issue and what is meant by turning a woman against her husband, please see the answer to question no. 84849

    Based on the above, if this man is the one who turned the woman against her husband, so that she would get divorced for his sake, it is not permissible for him to marry her, especially when he has committed zina with her. There is a difference of opinion concerning marriage of the zaani to the woman with whom he committed zina. In this case he has combined two evils: turning a woman against her husband and zina.

    It is not permissible for a Muslim to turn a woman against her husband because that leads to the breakup of families, even if there was a bitter dispute between the spouses. Some scholars regarded this as a major sin. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “He is not one of us who turns a woman against her husband.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2175; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

    Abu Dawood (5170) also narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever turns a man’s wife or slave against him is not one of us.”

    Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

    Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeem Abaadi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

    “Whoever turns a woman against her husband” (means) by mentioning the husband’s bad qualities to his wife, or mentioning the good qualities of another man to her.

    ‘Awn al-Ma‘bood, 6/159

    And he said “Whoever turns a man’s wife” means: he deceives her and corrupts her, or makes the idea of divorce attractive to her so that he or someone else can marry her, and so on.

    ‘Awn al-Ma‘bood, 14/52

    Al-Mannaawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Our shaykh, ash-Sha‘raawi, said: That also includes the case where a woman who is angry with her husband comes to him so that he can reconcile between them, for example, so he offers her abundant food and wants to spend on her and honour her, even if that is in order to honour her husband, then her heart may be inclined to someone else and she starts to look down on her husband. This is also included in this hadeeth. The wise man should be careful with regard to such matters, even if his intention is good.

    He said: I did this several times; I put pressure on the woman who was angry with her husband, and I advised my family to leave her hungry, so that she would go back and would appreciate how blessed she was with her husband.

    End quote from Fayd al-Qadeer Sharh al-Jaami‘ al-Kabeer, 6/159

    • How does your reply help this man?

      They are married now and have a child MashaAllah. They are a family AlhamdoLillah and their past is the past. May Allah bless them with goodness.

      To the original poster, brother... you have duties towards your wife AND your parents. Please keep trying to win their love and trust while taking care of and loving your wife and child.

      Seek forgiveness from parents but dont let them force you to ignore your wife and child. Be a man and try your best to find a good balance.

      They are your parents, they will InshaAllah forgive you. I wish and pray for your wonderful life InshaAllah with your parents and your family.

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