Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My parents dont like my boyfriend because he’s not good looking.

Posted by • November 14, 2011 • Printer-friendly

I love my boyfriend very much he has a great personality. in short he is everything that I've always wanted in a husband. H'es not very good looking he's kinda overweight and is blind from one eye but that has never stopped him for doing anything in life he's always achieved what he wanted, anyways he came over to my house yesterday with his family to meet my parents everything went well. but when they left my parents made a big deal about his looks and him being blind from one eye and i over heard my dad saying that the guy and his family r good but he only has an issue with his eye and he said he will not be in my wedding if i marry this person he thinks im very beautiful and good looking so i should pair up with a guy who's body parts are at least not defective. they can ignore his looks but they cant get over the fact that he's blind from one eye .. now im in a very big confusion whether to listen to my parents or my heart .. i want my parents blessings as well when i get married to him i don't want them being sad or not happy at the same time i dont want to leave my boyfriend just because he has a problem after all he's a creation of Allah and when i met him i fell in love with his personality and I cant punish him for his looks he's not the one who chose to look like that it's not his fault but my parents are more concerned about what other people might think "why did our daughter marry this guy when she's so beautiful and talented and so many good proposal are lined up for her" they think that our kids might have eye problems but  a lot of healthy couple have kids with so many problems and Allah is the one who gives them the illness no body wants to be sick or unfortunate.  I feel that if i reject him because of his looks or his eye problem then Allah will never forgive me and he will bring it to me in future I believe in karma so im scared. but now im very upset i wana fight for my love but i wana respect my parents too what should i do?


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4 Responses »

  1. Amy
    November 14, 2011 • 6:03 pm

    Salaams,

    It's pretty shallow for your parents to reject his proposal only because of a condition the man can't help. I would advise you to respect your parents wishes without question if they had concerns that had some basis, but if that's the only reason they're citing it is not Islamic. I would sit down with them and talk to them about the ISLAMIC purpose of marriage, and the ISLAMIC character we are to look for in a mate, and ask them how their feelings about his blindness fits into either of those. I would even ask them how they would feel as parents if a certain young man wanted to marry you and loved you for who you were, but the marriage couldn't go forward because of his parents having a problem with a physical feature of yours. If they are truly concerned that his blindness is something that can pass on to the children, do some research on the type of blindness he has and whether or not it is hereditary. If it is hereditary, chances are the likelyhood of it being passed to the next generation are quite small. If you show them this information it may put them more at ease. All in all, it sounds like you are going to have a lot of heart to heart talks with your parents about this issue. I would even suggest having his parents come over again a few times to talk to them and discuss the concerns your parents have. It would be sad to have what otherwise might be a good marriage fall through because your intended has blindness in one eye. Insha'Allah this will have only been a small test for you and everything will work out in the end.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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  2. Abu Az-Zubayr
    November 30, 2011 • 9:43 pm

    have your parents not read the story of Julaibeeb, the companion of the messenger of Allah?

    Julaibeeb [whom Allaah is pleased with] was a black companion.
    he was described by everyone who saw him as
    poor
    short
    very unattractive
    he did not posses anything of this world.

    Reply

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