Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Engaged but people are trying to stop us from marrying

jealousy, envy, jealous of couple, insecure, woman













Salam Brothers and sisters

Alhamdelillah I am engaged to a wonderful muslim brother however some of my friends and family friends have been trying to cause problems between us and prevent us from getting married. I suspect this is due to jealousy as a lot of these people complained about not being able to find the right person for marriage for themselves or their children and instead on congratulating my fiance and myself they just keep complaining and I don't feel they are happy for us.

My parents and his parents are both happy for us and we are both happy to have found each other Alhamdulillah. People have been spreading rumours about us, one of them being "they were dating beforehand and being boyfriend-girlfriend" when we both meet through our parents and have followed islamic traditions and kept everything halal. A family friend of our's even went as far as to do the following : she congratulated both our families after we got engaged then a few days later took her daughter to see my fiance at work and told him that if he wasn't sure about marrying me then her daughter would be a better option for him and then she left her daughter at his work to get to know him.

He was put in a very awkward situation and he told the lady that it was best if she and her daughter left. My fiance, his family, my family and myself are very upset about this and about other things people have been trying to do to cause problems between us. This should be a happy time for us but I'm so scared to be unhappy in case people's jealousy and trouble making stops our marriage from happening. I know if it's meant to be it will happen and it's Allah (swt) will but its just not very nice how people are being cruel, jealous toward us. Can anyone please give me some advice as to what to do about this?


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6 Responses »

  1. Asallamoalekum Sister,

    First, I would suggest you yourself do an istikhara to make sure your fiance is the right guy for you, maybe Allah swt is giving you signs in form of your familys' behavior? so it is always good to double check, even if there is a 1% chance that you might be wrong and this is the rest of your life you are talking about so please try to do an istikhara and see if you get some guidance inshallah, but im sure you know your fiance more than any of us here online so I pray that everything works out for the best for both you and your fiance inshallah.

    Furthermore, inshallah if the istakhara turns out to be a positive one, then I would try to get married asap so your family can stop chasing your fiance and accept that hes married and just be happy for the both of you inshallah.

    Finally, even though they are behaving so badly, they are still your family and you should treat them with respect. Please do not be mean to them since that will only create more problems for you and your parents. Stick to your ground as a good Muslim Sister and be nice to your family and inshallah you will be rewarded for it.

    Please keep making dua that they get their mind right soon and inshallah Allah swt will give them hadayah.


  2. Salaams flowerchild

    Firstly I am very sorry for the difficulties you are facing in this situation. Your reply really touched my heart and I feel your pain. Astagfilliah I can’t believe how cruel some people really are.

    Ulhumdiallah you have a decent husband to be. Do not start to have doubts has your finance is sincere man good for him for keeping iszaat and respect for you. I honestly believe he will marry you and inshallah this will happen for you.

    These people are jealous and because you got a rishta from a good family and everyone gets along people will find faults, jealousy and envy of what you have that they can’t get. As you know and seen masallah both families get on this is what you need to build trust and respect I sincerely believe you got this ulhumdiallah. Cut ties with your friends they are not friends sister they are just using you emotionally and abusing your trust. Your family friends are no good either yes welcome to the real world sister it is cruel every single person like this is unappreciated that’s why ristha never come to them plus they have flaws. Allah gave you this risha for a reason what you now need to do is be strong, have sabr and limit what you say to these people. Open your eyes these people don’t have good intentions for you they are even playing with your izsaat that’s not a friend, a friend is someone who really never doubts the kind of person you are and always be there for you.

    What really makes me angry is that people do gossip when they have flaws in themselves already and these vile people never admit or see it for what it is that’s why they are so fake and nice to your face until they get what they want out of you in terms of your private life. These are the kind of people sister you do not want to mix in with. Stay away from them and from there nasty comments there hearts are not pure. Obviously they don’t have good intentions for you that’s why they doing what they doing but these people fail to realise is if you try to wreck another daughters life and make a mockery you soon have what’s coming to you maybe not now but in later life they will.

    I am ashamed people in Islam are becoming so selfish and greed get the better of them that they no longer realise or see a good thing until it is gone. I am very disappointed that a muslim person would go to extreme lengths to ruin another persons life. May this never ever happen to you, may allah protect you and your dreams come true ameen.

    I will strongly advice you to get married asap and limit telling about your marriage keep it simple and straight. Only invite your close family members who you can trust and I believe outsiders are interfering especially the women and they are the ones causing problems for you.

    I wish you all the very best and that inshallah you become whole without these people making it difficult for you amen w/salaams.

  3. This is why there is a famous saying, conceal the engagement but reveal the marriage. Isn't it wonderful how apt the Prophet PBUH and his quotes are for all generations in all Ummah?

    You've learnt 4 things I believe.

    1. Keep away from those vivous people ready to stab you in the back at any time.
    2. Marry your husband and do IT NOW. Not in a month, not in a year, do it NOW. You can do something more fancy later on, all you need is a simple Islamic Nikah and Waleema.
    3. Thank Allah for showing you how easy it is to lose something if you follow the way of the Kuffar. They hold off marriage for unneccessarily long period.
    4. Your husband is a good man, one whom you can trust, make sure you repay him with the same level as well.

    • John why do you always make assumptions that all man are good with good intentions. And what this thing about "repaying at this same leve". Don't burden other people with your own ego issues!!

  4. Sister I advise you to make an Istikhara (if u havent) because maybe this is a sign from Allah that this person might not be good for you, he might seem real nice now but we dont know how he will be on the long run, only Allah knows, Sister make an istikara, also make lots and lots of douas to Allah, ask him " if this person is good for me let us get married if not then keep him away from me and give me a better person" one of my friends was in the same position as you, and at the end they did break up beacuse he ended up beign a real bad person not as she expected him to be.

  5. thank you so much guys for all the advice and support!!! its been so helpful to come to this website and turn to everyone here!! hamdellah!! We both want to get nikah done as soon as possible but due to some circumstances we are having we have to wait 4 months but inshallah it will wok out!!

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