Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Planning a pregnancy – is it allowed?

Pregnant teen

Salam-alaikum,

I think I’ve read this or heard this from an elder a few times that we, as Muslims, aren’t allowed to “plan our pregnancies” or “plan when to have a baby” (I’ve most likely read this online somewhere).

I am a bit older now and have done some research and no where has been mentioned about it being even [makruh] or [makrooh] to plan when to have a baby. Some ladies have been asking for help in conceiving also and answers have asked them to try and have sexual intercourse 3 times a week to get pregnant faster

Anyway, I just want to share that I would not want to accidentally have a baby as there would be a lot of shopping involved (nappies, baby pram, newborn clothes, crib etc.) which I feel I would need to be financially stable to be able to raise a child.

Overall, could I or could I NOT plan my pregnancy?

e.g. buy all baby items 3 months and then planning + trying to become pregnant ??

Sidenote: sorry for this long story! i really felt this was a silly question but i really want an honest simple answer and thanks for reading!

JazakAllah, take care


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5 Responses »

  1. Asalualkum

    your question is a bit unclear. Its your husband duty and your right on him to provide in his best capacity.

    The reason you have put forward for not to have a baby is concerning. Look around people from different countries and they have children as blessing and Allah provides for them. Dont stop having children for this reason as Allah is the provider and you must have tawaqul to Allah.

    secondly, its your husband right to have children and you will be sinful to avoid it if you have no Valid reason. Pregnancy can be planned but but 1st with mutual consent , and financial reason is not a valid reason as Allah clearly states that HE is the provider

    Prophet peace be upon him told us to marry and have children, so he will be proud of our numbers on the day of judgement. its your right to have children, and we are also not encouraged to marry a woman who is not fertile/able to have kids

    And no moving (living) creature is there on earth but its provision is due from Allaah” [Hood 11:6]

    “And so many a moving (living) creature carries not its own provision! Allaah provides for it and for you. And He is the All‑Hearer, the All‑Knower” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:60]

    “Verily, Allaah is the All‑Provider, Owner of Power, the Most Strong” [al-Dhaariyaat 51:58]

    “so seek your provision from Allaah (Alone), and worship Him (Alone), and be grateful to Him”

    [al-‘Ankaboot 29:17]

    Allaah condemned the people of the Jaahiliyyah who killed their children for fear of poverty, and He forbade doing what they did. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We shall provide for them as well as for you. Surely, the killing of them is a great sin” [al-Israa’ 17:31]

    Allaah has commanded His slaves to put their trust in Him in all their affairs, and He is Sufficient for those who put their trust in Him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “and put your trust in Allaah if you are believers indeed” [al-Maa’idah 5:23]

    “And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him” [al-Talaaq 65:3].

    So you have to put your trust in your Lord and believe that He will provide for you and your children. Do not let the fear of poverty prevent you from seeking to have children, for Allaah has guaranteed provision for all. By not wanting children for fear of poverty, you are imitating the people of the Jaahiliyyah.

    The most fundamental idea that a Muslim must internalise is that Rizq is in the hands of Allah. One of the beautiful names of Allah (ﷻ) is Al-Razzaaq: The Provider, The Providence, The Supplier, The Bestower of Sustenance. The One who creates all means of nourishment and subsistence. The One who provides everything that is needed.

    Allah (ﷻ) says:

    “Lo! Allah (ﷻ) is that who gives livelihood, the Lord of unbreakable might.” [TMQ Dhariyat: 58]

    “We provide for you” [TMQ Al-Anaam:151]

    now overall: think this way . Plan to have tawakul in Sllah first then time is irrelevant . You can plan if their is a geniun reason like medical reason etc .. if doctors says you cant be pragnant for what ever reason etc ... but in your case boost your iman and have trust in Allah .. Also it seems likeyou ahve more trust in yourself then the provider Allah .. do you really think 3 months planning of buying stuff is going to solve this issue ... i dont think so .. you can start planning now ..planning is a good think and try to concieve baby .. baby doesnt just happens over night .. it wil take time to come in this world and by then you will have done all the preperation you need and your husband has this responsilibity so ask him and share your concern with him " if he is not providing etc .."

    May Allah guide us all

  2. Wa alaykumsalam.

    There are evidences that delaying pregnancy is permissible in Islam. At the time of our Messenger (Salalahu alayhi wasalam), the companions used to prevent pregnancy and the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) did not forbid it. Jabir Ibn Abdullah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: "We used to engage in 'Azl (Coitus interrupts, a form of contraception by ejaculating outside the woman's vagina) at the time when the Qur'an was being revealed." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5208) and Muslim (1440).

    It is agreed upon many authentic scholars that it is indeed permissible.

    Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

    Taking contraceptive measures is permissible in principle, because the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them) used the method of ‘azl (coitus interruptus) during the time of the Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), and he did not forbid them to do that. But it is contrary to what is preferable, because having a lot of children is something that is prescribed and is desirable.

    And Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) quoted the above hadith as evidence for it being permissible to space having children in order to give them a proper Islamic upbringing, when he said:

    If a woman has a lot of children, and it is difficult for her to give them a proper Islamic upbringing because they are so many, then there is nothing wrong with her taking something to space her pregnancies in order to achieve this important purpose, so that pregnancy will not adversely affect her or her children, as Allah has permitted ‘azl for this and similar purposes.

    https://islamqa.info/en/231777

  3. Sister please use your common sense.

    How could planning for a baby which is something completely halal be Haram? And you need to understand why things are haram in the first place. God doesn't make things haram to test us , he makes things haram becomes that haram thing nothing good comes out of it.

    As long as you do everything the legitimate way then nothing is haram. If you can't get plan for a baby then it defeats the purpose of marriage why, because people get married to start a family and in a sense you could see that as planning for a child.

  4. Birth control and/or family planning is permissible in Islam. This is documented as men were instructed by the Prophet to use withdrawal if their wife agreed to this practice, to avoid pregnancy. There are different methods in the modern world that women use to avoid pregnancy. Along with prescribed medications (patch, birth control pills, diaphragm), there are also non-medical devices a woman can use determine when she is ovulating, a time when she is fertile and should avoid unprotected sex in order to avoid pregnancy.

    Avoiding pregnancy is not the same as what was referred in a previous comment referencing Quran instructing believers not to kill their children because of a fear of poverty -- the reference which is so inappropriate and ignorant. Avoiding a pregnancy means just that -- not getting pregnant. The reference of killing children is absurd, offensive and typical of limited thinking that pervade a lot of Islamic thought and teachings. How can you kill something that is not alive or in existence? That would suggest that a man who actually avoids having sex with his wife when she is fertile is somehow doing just that. Which no one ever is critical of. And again, ignorant, limited and very bad advice, which oftens leads to even more problems with couples.

    When someone decides they are ready and prepared to carry, birth and raise a child is the couple's own business, especially that of the woman since she is the one with the greatest burden. A woman may have one child and suffered a difficult pregnancy or a difficult labor and delivery and may determine it is best for her to wait one, two or more years to regain her strength in order to have another child. A man may even ask his wife to postpone getting pregnant because he want to enjoy her beauty and youthfulness for a longer period of time, knowing that pregnancy and child rearing take a toll on almost all women especially those women who are not wealthy with nannies, governesses and household help. Note that it is rare that anyone is critical of a man who has this personal preference simply because that is his desire. A very young couple may determine that they want to have more time being a married person, getting to know their mate before taking on more responsibility of being a parent. As stated, that is their own personal business. If a birth control technique or device is not harmful, it is up to the man and woman to decide if and when they choose to use them.

  5. Walikumsalam

    Sister first there is such no word in Islam makrooh you can't find in hadeeth and in Quran.Birth control is not at all permissible in islam unless in 2 cases first 2 years oif a
    baby born gap(breastfeeding) and other if there is a danger. It is completely prohibited using contraceptive. Scholars said that its an early abortion and abortion is completely haram. And Allah swt said in surah isra 31 ayah that don't kill your children of fear poverty so, He's the one who will provide who are we. Here people are giving silly ans I don't understand.

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