Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Please advise me how to perform i’tikaaf


Assalamu alaikum... first of all a big thanks to you guys... you doing a brilliant job... may allah reward you all...

Actually I just wanted to know something... I was thinking to perform ittekaaf in this beautiful month of ramadan for one day of maybe 5 days. Can you please kindly tell me the benefit of performing ittekaaf? And what we should do in ittekaaf? And what not? And what to recite? I mean can you provide a full detail? That will be so much help to me.

And can by performing ittekaaf will allah forgive my sins...? A major sins... like zina?

I'm really ashamed of this. I am scared that if allah won't forgive me... what if he will throw me in hell...? I read somewhere that allah won't forgive the one who commit zina. I'm really scared of this and trying to be a better muslima. I perform tahajuud and I cried and beg to allah to forgive me for such a major sin. I also perform saratul tauba and now I'm planning to sit for ittekaaf so that allah will forgive me and have mercy on me.

Please brothers and sisters help me out... I don't want to go to hell... I don't want to spoil my akhirat... I don't want allah to punish me in my grave or in my akhirat.

I don't know but why I think that allah won't forgive me for this. Please help me out... And how can someone know that allah forgives us???

Please help me... I really need some advice.
Jazakallah khair.


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6 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaikam

    I'tikaaf is a period of seclusion for the sole purpose of worshipping Allah. There are differing opinions over whether a woman should do this in the mosque or at home, so if you follow a particular school it's worth looking into what they say about this. It can be for a short or a long time, and my understanding is that so long as your focus is entirely on worship, what you recite is a personal decision. A woman shouldn't perform i'tikaaf if she is menstruating, and should stop her i'tikaaf if she starts her menses during it.

    It sounds like your main worry, though, is about the sin you committed, and your fear that it might not be forgiven. Remember that Allah is Most Merciful. There are many ayahs in the Quran that reassure us of His Mercy for any of us who offer sincere repentance. Repent, change the parts of your life that contributed to you committing the sin, and move forward with your life - focus on strengthening your eman and following Allah's guidance from now on.

    Midnightmoon editor

  2. thank you so much for your advice...i was waiting eagerly to perform itikaaf..but cant perform now..(because of monthly period)i m so sad...i was thinking to please my allah by performing itikaaf..(i never make my allah happy..always did wrong n sinfull things)but in ramadan I had a pure intention to perform strengthen my worship allah..n masha allah now I pray daily 5 I can fell close to my I can fell that allah is listening to me...alhamdulillah..but m sad that I cant perform itikaaf..cant perform at shabe-qadar..:-(..hope allah will forgive me n in sha allah next year will perform itikaaf..ameen.

  3. Asalaam Walaikum Sister In Islam.

    Yesterday I watched this lecture and trust me it speaks to us all directly and more so to you as in the way you describe your situation and lack of hope ypu have for the sin you have commited.

    Forward the Video to 1Hr55mins and listen to the sheikhs short true story and the story will give you hope I promise.

    Watch "Time for change by Shaikh Hassan Ali" on YouTube

    May Allah forgive us all for our sins big or small and guide us to the right path ... A'meen.

  4. As Salaam Alaikum my dear sister in Islam,

    May Allah accept your ibaadah, your repentance and may he make you among the women of jannah. Firstly, you feel ashamed for your sin, that is a good thing. You feel the pain in your heart, it is better. Now you want to repent, and you have been thinking of itikaaf, which is another good thing. You stated, that due to the monthly limitations you cannot perform itikaaf. Please understand you do not have to be sorry for that, it is not in your control and remember Allah states "Laa nukallifullahu nafasan illa wusaaha" in many places in the Quran i.e. Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capability.

    However, that does not stop you from observing Laylat al Qadr. Yes, you cannot enter a masjid and are not required to pray during your menses. However, there are many other things you can do, Firstly, if you are parents are alive, especially your mother, serve her, there is no bigger Jihaad in these times than serving your parents. I do remember reading some texts from earlier generation of muslim scholars, ( I need to get a reference, but am unable to recollect), a man came to this scholar and informed that he had committed the sin of zina. The sinner asked the scholar as to how he can repent, the scholar asked him if his mother is alive. Indicating that one of the best ways to please Allah is by pleasing your parents. So, serve your parents, be a reason for their smile, their happiness and their pleasure. In shaa Allah you will find the forgiveness from Allah as well as Ridha in your heart.

    Additionally our mother Aisha Radi Allaha Anha stated that best supplication to make when you catch laylat al qadr is "Allah huma innka affooun. Tuhibbul Afwa, fa afooanni", Oh Allah you are the pardoner, you love to pardon, so pardon me. Feed the miskeen, and even those who are fasting. If you do not have money cook food for the poor, help your mom cook suhoor and iftaar, send the meals at the local masjid, at the local shelter for homeless, give in sadaqa not just through money but through your actions by keeping a smile on your face. Learn and understand the Quran through tafseer after you are done with your menses. Listen to lectures. Finally, continue to have hope in Allah.

    May Allah forgive your sins, make you among the slaves he loves, raise you among the women of jannah and make you a means of forgiveness for your parents and rest of your family.

    Wa As Salaam Alaikum,

  5. jazak allah khair brother Abd'Allah for your kind n very helpfull sha allah will do what u said...m so thankfull that I came over these site..people over here are so helpfull n kind.they dont judge u for your past mistakes but rather help you out..makes u underestand what is right n what is wrong.thank u so much..n thanks to you too jazz..may allah blessed us all n have mercy on us..n may reward you all for helping people.Ameen.

    • Asalaam Walaikim

      Just incase you didnt click to view the video ...

      This is the story as narrated by Imam Muslim in his Saheeh, in Kitaab al-Tawbah (2766): “It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri that the Prophet of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Among the people who came before you there was a man who killed ninety-nine people, then he asked about the most knowledgeable person in the land. He was told about a monk, so he went to him and said, ‘I have killed ninety-nine people, can I repent?’ The monk said, ‘No.’ So he killed him, thus making the number one hundred. Then he asked about the most knowledgeable person in the land, and he was told about a scholar, so he (went to him and) said: ‘I have killed one hundred people. Can I repent?’ He said, ‘Yes, who could stop you from repenting? Go to such and such a land, where there are people who worship Allaah. Worship Allaah with them and do not go back to your own land, for it is a bad land.’ So he set out, and when he was halfway there, death came upon him. The angels of mercy and the angels of punishment argued over him. The angels of mercy said, ‘He was coming repentant, turning with his heart towards Allaah.’ The angels of punishment said, ‘He never did anything good.’ Then an angel came to them in human form and they accepted him as a mediator. He said, ‘Measure the distance between the two lands, and whichever he is closer to is where be belongs.’ So they measured the distance and found that he was closer to the land to which he was headed, so the angels of mercy took him.”

      Subhan'Allah I love that story ... May Allah have mercy on us All....Ameen!

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