Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I stopped believing in Allah (swt), please help

as salamu alaykum

Hi there my name is ameen I’m born an breed in the UK as a Muslim.

For many years I was praying the best I can, keeping my fast listen to the family “yes sir no sir crap” a good Muslim boy. But recently I have started to think that I have lost my faith in Allah I don’t believe In him any more  because I see all friends around me who have never prayed probable once in their life time, except juma pray or when someone has pasted away.

These friends off mine it’s a dream for them drink take drugs, party cheat on their wife an car, houses, girls, and the extra side dish etc...

Now I have start to what is the whole point on me praying when I have lost every thing I have prayed day after day for Allah to help me yet nothing? And I look at my friends with envy an their I am nothing to show after all these years off praying an working an calculating to nothing.

Please help me I don’t want to lose my ways

I feel I have lost the battle with in me .

Ameen666.


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13 Responses »

  1. This world is a test , there are many falastenians who are killed who are innocent and offer all oobligation prescribed in islam still they suffer , but does it mean we loose hope .

    Since the start u percieved a business relation with allah swt u prayed for urself because ur selffish and needed something in return .

    You need to first be strong on tawheed . Get back to me for more details

  2. ASSALAMALAIKUMAMEEN THE TRUST WORTHY-
    PL PONDER-
    1ST THAT THE FRIENDS YOU ARE ENVY ARE THE COMPANIONS OF THESE TYPE OF PEOPLE WHO WERE PUNISHED IN THIS WORLD-.....SEE WITH YR OWN EYES-

    http://xeniagreekmuslimah.wordpress.com/2009/10/17/adultery-and-gods-punishment/
    YOU ARE LUCKY THAT YOU ARE SAVED FROM THESE TYPE OF PEOPLES COMPANY-

    Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children, as the likeness of vegetation after rain, thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller; afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw. But in the Hereafter (there is) a severe torment (for the disbelievers, evil-doers), and (there is) Forgiveness from Allah and (His) Good Pleasure (for the believers, good-doers), whereas the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment.

    Leave alone those who take their religion to be mere play and amusement, and are deceived by the life of this world. But proclaim (to them) this (truth): that every soul delivers itself to ruin by its own acts: it will find for itself no protector or intercessor except Allah: if it offered every ransom, (or reparation), none will be accepted: such is (the end of) those who deliver themselves to ruin by their own acts: they will have for drink (only) boiling water, and for punishment, one most grievous: for they persisted in rejecting Allah.(surah vi(An-am)verse 70)
    Life should not be the Muslim's ultimate goal. Pleasing Allah Almighty should be the ultimate goal. Learning how to accept and deal with life is essential to our daily lives. Muslims must always face life with patience and perseverance no matter how high or low in wealth and power Allah Almighty grants them. The true Muslims must always be thankful to Allah Almighty and always be satisfied with everything He the Almighty gives them.
    Also, they must always watch out from becoming arrogants. Too much wealth and power can cause the person to lose faith and forget Allah Almighty and become arrogant. Accepting life as is from Allah Almighty is the key for the Muslim to maintain his goodness and gratefulness toward Allah Almighty.

  3. Assalamu alaikum, just be patient and worship allah, with goood intensions and be sincere to yourself .Alllah 9swt ] says in the qura that he love those who have patient . another version A llah says He is with those who have patient. so continue yyour worship and never loose hope.and try to worship Allah not to only have worldly gains , but to have a pleasure in the hereafter.. try to also read stories about the prophetss like, ayub, muhammad. yusuf, etc. this will teach you how to cope with your problems insha allah. try also to see an imam around your area..

    May Allah make it easy for us all
    ameen

  4. Salam Brother,

    Brother ameen, i used to take drugs, drink,clubs, women,cars..u name it. Enjoying my life maximum. I knew it wasn't right thing to do. Still i went on and on as my surroundings were all athiest's. Suddenly, one day something very bad thing happened. It was so bad that i've lost EVERYTHING in a single afternoon! Friends, girls, cars became so useless.My subconcious mind was telling me my punishment was due but i never listened, everyday my body was loaded with alchohol, hang over was a regular thing. Someitmes i came out from the club and nearly passed on grass, had to call my friend for help as i was n't able to get up.

    After the punishment, i've just asked now what? what was the point of all that? My surroundings were doing fine. They kept going on. What about me? Before committing all these sins, i used to pray, fast and was very devoted muslim. Therefore, deep inside i was a true muslim but my surroundings made me a complete different person! I was never able to leave my surroundings i guess Allah just forced me to leave them. I thought may be Allah had a different plan for me, may be ican be cured but friends cannot. I've started to to going mosque Again. Listening to islamic lectures on CD, learn how to read Quaran(completely forgot!). I didn't have any true muslim friends so mosque became my daily destination. Lost me job, no money for rent, food. Condition became worst. However, after started praying at mosque i did notice a change in me. My pocket was empty but i had peace! wow, this is something i was always seeking! spent so much money on car and others just to have fun but peace! i doubt it.

    It went on almost a year. Then i've got a nice job. Back to office again.Brother ameen, my 'surroundings' almost drag to me to hell. Now i regret so much. They are still better off in terms of money and others things. May be Allah has different plan for them. Atleast, i've been given a chance to cure myself and i consider myself a lucky one. I've what i wanted a peaceful life. Bother Ameen, may Allah bless you and return to islamic path, trust me you will leave in peace. Salam.

  5. Salamualaikum brother Ameen,

    Have you really lost the battle? I mean to ask: are you dead? That is when you actually lose the chance of reverting to the Path of Allah.

    I find myself in a situation similar to yours. Though I believe that Shaitaan has lost the battle and not me. My faith decreases to a very low level, but Alhamdulillah, my Lord Has Kept Himself in my heart.

    I am the only person who offers Salah in the place I go, and most of it in the place where cars are parked. No one even bothers to offer Jumu'ah Salah among the Muslims.

    Alcohol, girls are all common among the others. But my Lord Has Kept me in a safe position and Has Kept His Mercy on me. Alhamdulillahi 'Ala Kulli Haal.

    You should learn about Allah, His Attrbutes and Names, His Oneness, about the Aqeedah, Manhaj, etc. This would ensure you are upon the deen, and firm. Imaam Ahmad bin Hanbal Rahimahullah said:

    من كان بالله اعرف كان منه اخوف

    Which means: How much a person knows Allah, that much he will Fear Him

    So improve your knowledge about Allah and improve your Taqwa in this way. If possible, move to a diffent place where you will be amongst righteous Muslims who will help you stay upright.

    Also read the life of the Rasool Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and his Sahaabah Radiyallahu Anhum and learn from their lives.

    Do your prayers regularly and supplicate to Allah in the day and in the night (take help from the book of Duas called fortress of the Muslim:
    http://d1.islamhouse.com/data/en/ih_books/single/en_hisn_al-muslim.doc )

    Imaan increases and decreases. We need to make sure that we renew it with time. Read this book, it will be really helpful: http://islamfuture.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/causes-behind-the-increase-and-decrease-of-imaan.pdf

    Trust in Allah, that He Will always be with you and learn the Deen from yhe basics. If you know Urdu, this website is the best possible source for this: http://www.ashabulhadith.com

    May Allah help you

    Muhammad Waseem
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

      Waseem brother, you need to regularily make dua that Allah renews faith in your heart as that is from the Prophet sallalahualayhiwasalam.

      That is the solution. I used to have these problems but Alhamdulilah I recited the last three surahs of the Quran and asked Allah to renew faith in my heart and Alhamdulilah the solution worked well.

  6. Brother original poster, let me say I totally hear you and can relate. I'm not gonna tell you 'oh you are being tested, come back to Allah SWT'... all that just sounds like the same stuff ppl have been telling you for years and who needs a bunch of warnings when what you need is some good information and advice.

    Let me tell you, I was not born a muslim. I was born an American. I slept with lots of men in my life, I drank a lot, did lots of drugs, was a bartender, lived with my boyfriends, disrespected my parents, hurt my sisters feelings, said I'd never have kids and maybe never get married. My reversion story is long and drawn out, but the moral of the story is that everyone WANTS to think they believe what happens to us when we die. Oh, you go to heaven. Oh, you go to hell. Oh, nothing happens, you just rot in the ground. There are 10 gods. There is 1 god. We are god.
    So many different opinions, so many different options, so many people and cultures standing behind their beliefs with so much passion, how do you know what to believe? Why would god let children die in the ways they die here in war, suffering at the hands of abusive parents? Why would god let his followers go hungry and poor while the wicked have homes filled with amazing crap and live paradise from sun up to sleep? How does any of this make ANY sense?

    Well let me tell you were I am at this moment...

    1. We DON'T know. Nope, that's right. We do not know what will happen to us when we die. Has god ever come to you IN PERSON? Has he ever explained things to you, or made you die and taken your spirit on a tour of heaven and hell, show you your house in heaven, then send you back into your body?? Nope. But the fact of the matter is, and most people feel insulted when hearing this, but mankind NEEDS rules. Yup, that's right, even you too. You and I and everyone we need boundaries set, because our consciousness' aren't strong enough to keep us out of trouble. And we often can't desipher for ourselves the difference between what we have the right to do, and what's right. Let me say that again: Just because we have the right to do something, doesn't mean it's right. That's where religion comes in... to assist us and our consciousness' to create boundaries where the world and it's laws fall short. i.e.: abortion, intoxication, homosexuality, prostitution... all these things you will find legal in various levels in countries all around the world. If we were left to simply trust in other men to determine what's right for us, then we'd all be running around like animals. We DON'T know what's true, but ultimately we have to chose a path, and after a lot of research, Islam I've found makes the most sense. The Qur'an is the most 'common sensical' book I've read that ties in science, a higher being, and humans all in one, and explains how we should live. So even if you don't feel the inspiration in your heart, can you seriously find a better way to live? Look around at your friends... how are their marriages? How do their kids act? Is their daughter still a virgin and in high school? Is his wife cheating or pushing her boobs in that new bra so she can be oogled at when she's out to lunch with her girlfriends? Trust me... the outside is so impressive because their pacifying what they're missing on the inside. If you were in their shoes, your relationships would be untrusting, the women you'd meet at the bar like they do would be untrustworthy, your little girl would break your heart when she walked out the door in a short skirt for school at the age 16 and your little boy would be doing drugs or at the least watching porn and not have boundaries. That lifestyle is heartbraking, but your heart doesn't brake until later when you have everything to lose.

    2. Let me tell you that when you're being tested, you don't know it. Don't expect to be like 'oh, this is a test...' ... nope. And don't think it's Allah that's putting bad things into your life... Allah only steps back and lets the wolves (shaytan) do what they do for a while to see how you'll react in times like this. I've found that Allah SWT tests at various degrees according to the level of deen of those who's are strongest. What I'm saying, is that it's not like you're being tested by Allah SWT in every little aspect of your life. Allah SWT isn't taking you aside and picking your life apart and testing you by depleting every little thing in your life. He's simply standing back and letting Shaytan whisper and influence you and watching how you'll react. If you need some extra help in being happy, or if you need more material things (I don't blame you, my husband is a doctor and I'm a student and we're poor as $4!+ and it's not fun to work your butt off to have debt and no social life, but watch those around you driving fancy cars and paying mortgages on nice homes, etc), then pray for it. But more than that... brush off Shaytan and say no to that drink, say no to that oogling girl, if there's other things in your life that Shaytan has snuck into your schedule to hurt you, then you know what they are and you should say no to those things too. You know, sin is like a drug. Lots and lots of drugs is terrible... but then you stop them all except for that one that you think you'll quit later because it's 'not that bad' and it's helping you hold on... but it just happens to be that ONE that's blocking you from success and allowing your mind to clear. So anything... porn is usually a big one with single muslim men, friends that aren't muslim and dangling things in front of your face that make you feel like a failure, not praying, etc... see what's in your life and try to see the influence behind it, listen to the little whisper in your brain, way in the back that you've gotten so used to that drags your eyes to the computer and flashes images of the naughty website or chat room or whatever ... and think where those voices are coming from. Shaytan nabs you when you're bored, when you're sad, when you're feeling hopeless and you just go on auto-pilot towards those things to kill some time and fix a sad feeling for the moment. Think of where those feelings come from, hear the whispers, then get angry that you're being held back and push them from your mind, and maybe go pray to help you feel more at ease. Prayer helps ease the heart. You'll also feel a sense of accomplishment which may help you tremendously.

    3. Don't forget your muslim friends, don't forget to have a social life with good people and try not to be around those that vroom-vroom up in their vancy cars and strut like turkeys past you to the penthouse office on the 41st floor. Remember... good people are too caring to make others feel so bad about themselves, and good muslims fear Allah SWT and want the best for their brothers, and will usually share all they have to help a brother or sister out, so recognize the negative traits in those around you and lose tolerance for the things that drive others to make you jealous. That's just Shaytan in THEM.

    4. Finish college, live according to your means, pray, get the best job you can, and you'll have no problem making payments on a nice luxury car and finding a good girl. Then you can live a nice lifestyle, and try not to rooster strut. 🙂

    Salam
    Sister Stacy

  7. To all the above statements this one website and the verses mentioned it that is
    sufficient to believe in God and also the result and consequences for disobedience -

    http://xeniagreekmuslimah.wordpress.com/2009/10/17/adultery-and-gods-punishment/

  8. I know I am being blatant and not being mushy like all the rest, get a back bone!
    I am from the uk to, Birmingham to be exact, I have seen these people you envy, who have no self respect, drink & take drugs, etc, how can you say you want to be like them?
    There are people that are being tested every day, they are paying with there lives, the lives of there children, there loved ones, put the tv on and you will see! ( Palestine ) you have been given so much and yet you envy people that drink, take drugs, you are so fortunate to have the life you have, and yet you are so ungrateful to your lord, your lord has given you all yet you give nothing! Our prophet ( pbuh )gave his life for the betterment of his umma, read about the Karbala and then tell me you have something to envy! People like you make me ashamed!

    • He's not saying he wants to be like them.... He's saying they dream of sin, and they live it, and appear all the happier while he suffers in piety. It's a common problem, and maybe the strongest weapon dajal has to remind Muslims "what they're missing" by choosing the right path.

  9. Dear Ameen.. Its been 2 years since I hate My life, I have 2 other sisters and 4 brothers.. they never pray only I and my father do.. My sisters are having a very nice life my brothers aswell.. But I dont know I'am very depressed. I find my self very depressed, getting upsed of everything, start crying for no reason.. Actually everything started cause some one came in my life and ruined my dreams.. Honestly Im sure my sisters had lots of boyfriends, but I only had one and which I trusted only cause we supposed to get married.,.But It was not succesfull because of that I wanted to jump in front of a car, not cause I loved the boy but cause All my life I been careful to not have boyfriend and keep me for only one which is RIGHT but now Im not sure if I will be able to keep onl one cause It seems like we are not writed to each others destiny.... So that caused lots of problems in my life.. and Was like Allah has left me alone.. But still I never gave up on trusting him, I never stoped praying..My problems got bigger day by day but I GOT CLOSE TO ALLAH DAY BY DAY... I had to give up on that boy cause of family problems, but maybe Allah prepared something bettar for me?... I never asked WHY ALLAH I CANT BE LIKE MY SISTERS, WHY THEY LOOK SO HAPPY AND HAVING FUNN IN LIFE BUT I CANT... cause I know sometimes we jsut have to accept it and move on, ALLAH KNOWS WHAT IS BEST FOR US... and everytihng has its time.. IM WAITING FOR MY TIME..
    U SHOULD WAIT FOR UR TIME,,
    IM SURE ONE DAY U WILL SAY THANK YOU ALLAH!!!
    NEVER LOSE TRUST ON ALLAH DOESNT MATTER HOW DOWN U ARE OR U GET!

  10. Assalam wa alikum

    I am soo glad that you have posted this because I see the same and feel really sad and angry about witnessing or hearing about my muslim sisters and brothers at work committing sins openly and they seriously think it is cool or something, they are all Adults in late 20s behaving like teens thinking drinking is cool, mixing in friendship is cool, acting like boyfriend and girlfriend is ok and having a boyfriend or girlfriend is ok. I feel so angry at them and it got so bad recently that I have stopped talking and started avoiding my Muslim female colleague. I will talk to her but because she only hung out with men, I don't talk to her in fear that I would start acting like she does. The strange thing is that she really wants me to be her friend and looks sad when I don't say hi. I will try to talk to her to help her but I always say Alhamdulilah because Allah has kept me safe from committing those sins even though I feel angry or disheartened but Allah put me their to warn them or discourage them gentle, I seriously don't care if they hate me for it because it would be worse for them if they don't stop and Allah would ask me why I did nothing if I don't. If I started sinning I would be so grateful if other Muslims stopped me because I would regret it afterwards.

    My advice to you is that as you are a witness to their behavior you must warn them to change or discourage them gently. Everyone has sins and most of us regret them and try our best to avoid those sins we committed, your friends have not reached that stage yet but one day you would see them reach there. Don't stop talking to them as you can't be fighting with a brother or sister for more then 3 days. Also take the advice above from everyone else and remember this life is hard because your reward is not going to be given to you here but when you return to Allah. Hope I helped.

    Wa alikum as salam

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