Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Please Help me!

My age is 21 and i try my level best to lower my gaze when ever i see girl... Alhumdillah due to my beard i feel shame on doing wrong acts ... But from past month i can't control my feelings... I am want someone who takecare of me i feeling alone i need a girl in my life .. I belong to a middle class family so i can't afford marriage .. But i want to marry someone... Because of this when ever i see girl i try to impress her... Sometime i stare at girls sometime not i know its a sin .... I dont know what to doo ..... I can't live like that ... I want to marry but its studies will complete after 3year but how long i have to wait ???? Feelings are bouncing like a ball ... Please pray for me...
Allah has saved me from many big problem i had never even touch any girl in my entire life alhumduillah but i love someone but we never meet …we talk with each other on sms,whatsapp ….but then Allah blessed me with his guidence so i left her humbly (2 year has been passed).. n promise my self that ill never see any girl again…and nowww i completed my 1 year alim course in madarsa and also studying in institute doing bachelors …

islamic question

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4 Responses »

  1. First, all thanks and praises be to allah. And blessings be on the prophet muhammad and his family and companions. I advice you to lower your gaze as much as possible, stop masterbation of you are doing so. You could visit the mosque every time and have strong will like i once did. Don’t let satan trick you for he is a liar and a deciever. Ask allah for protection and busy yourself with something, don’t have free time. Like be busy, it’s free time that makes someone think these absurd and cruel thoughts. Also read books written by prominent muslim scholars and also read the saheeh hadith. Watch a youtube video of hell or read a description of hell for it will help and make umrah and ask allah for guidance. May allah help you.

  2. Dear brother

    MashaAllah you are doing your best.may Alllah subhana talla protect you.
    As per brother Abdulaziz's good advice, continue with your gaze lowered,offer extra salaH and keep fast- that will help you.keep yourself busy not just with prayers but do outdoor activities like climb the mountains if possible, go walking/ trecking etc..And pray and look forward for a pious wife, inshAllah it will happen sooner then you think . Time do pass by...remember the doa of Hazrat Musa?
    "Rabbi Inni Lima anzalta illaeYye min khaireN Faqeer."
    May Allah keep you safe child.

  3. Assalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaathu.

    You're gonna have to keep raising your emaan consistently, and when you do that, Allah strengthens your heart with forbearance and tranquility that you would have no difficulty at all lowering your gaze. If your heart isn't given such strength, then you simply don't have enough emaan. That's the beauty of Islam. If you're failing to raise your emaan consistently, then you have a flaw somewhere.

    Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "O people, Allah (the Mighty and the Majestic) commanded me that I should teach you which you do not know and which He has taught me today. (He has instructed thus): The property which I have conferred upon a servant of Mine is lawful for him. I have created My servants as one having a natural inclination to the worship of Allah but it is the devils who turn them away from the right religion, and makes unlawful what has been declared lawful for them. He commands them to ascribe partnership with Me, although he has no justification for that. And verily, Allah (the Mighty and the Majestic) looked towards the people of the world and He showed hatred for the Arabs and the non- Arabs, except for some remnants from the People of the Book." - Muslim.

    Imagine your emaan inside your heart - your spiritual heart - and the Shaytan always tries to enter it, but you have to protect it from Shaytan entering it, but if the Shaytan enters it, he makes you commit sins, causes you depression, anxiety, fear etc. and eventually makes you lose hope in Allah.

    “There is a piece of flesh in the body if it becomes good (reformed) the whole body becomes good but if it gets spoiled, the whole body gets spoiled – and that is the heart.” (Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 2, Number 49)

    What causes the Shaytan to enter your heart? Well, failing to do any obligatory things in Islam. They are, simply put, Salah and Character, and in character, it's just mainly Anger, protecting your Gaze, and avoiding music.
    So let's say, for example, you miss salah or listen to music, then Shaytan gets inside your heart and makes you sin!
    (Iblis) said: "Because you misled me, I shall indeed adorn the path of error for them (mankind) on the earth, and I shall mislead them all. Except Your SINCERE, (guided) slaves among them" (Quran, al-Hijr: 39:40).

    So ALL YOU HAVE TO DO is protect your emaan in your heart consistently from Shaytaan and that's it!

    And finally, how do you raise your emaan consistently? Well, the best way is gaining knowledge from lectures and acting on it. So all you have to do is watch a lecture of, let's say, Yusha Evans every day consistently and take care of your 5 salah and character, which mainly includes anger, protecting your gaze from looking at haram things, and avoiding music. Do this for JUST FOR 5 DAYS and I challenge you, you would have no feelings for this girl again.


  4. Dear young brother,
    After having read the previous noble advices in details your question still need 42yrs means twice older than you.I know its vry hard to pass through this stage.Fighting temptations is like continuously battling with nafs and shaytan on the other hand suppressing physical needs keeps person under pressure.Man without woman and woman without man in this world are like fish without water specially in this modern age.
    So in my opinion you look for Nikah at earliest with help of your family and close friends.
    As you are a young aalim so its very much necessary for you to have nikah at earliest.
    If your parents can't afford just don't bring the bride in your home let her stay with her parents house till both of you complete your education.
    But meet at weekends and can talk on phone any time but don't plan for kids at this time.
    In the meantime complete studies ,plan for your job and wedding.
    It may take 3 to 5yrs but you will be not alone.
    Surely this will save you from Sinning.
    Discuss your situation with your best trusted teacher/brother/cousin/mother/father/uncle and make them understand your some part of Pakistan ,Afghanistan and india there are. Still some caring families do this early nikah.

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