Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Please help me get out of the guillt !

regret

Assalaam-u-alaikum,

I am a boy in my mid 20's and lately i have feelings of sexual urge for my cousin sister who is 12 years old. I understand it is totally wrong and i have curbed that urge to see my cousin as one and not in any other context. But lately it so happened that her mere presence next to me arouses me although i never touched her inappropriately but once just by holding her hands and now i feel that i have done a grave sin which is disturbing me in my daily routine. Cannot focus at work and i stay depressed. Please suggest how do i repent and how do i come out of it.

Jazakallah Khair

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4 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaikam

    Firstly, Alhamdulillah you have realised that it would be wrong to act on these feelings, and you are looking for help. These are difficult steps to take and you have already taken them, and inshaAllah you can now find the help you need.

    I would recommend that you make sure you are never alone with her and never in a position of responsibility around her. And avoid all physical contact with her. Ideally, if she comes into a room, be polite but then leave the room - go somewhere else and distract yourself from thoughts of her through purposeful activity and remembrance of Allah.

    Use fasting and prayer to help control your sexual urges. Ensure that you are avoiding things like pornography, inappropriate media (eg. TV programmes with nudity and un-Islamic activities, a lot of pop music which demeans and objectifies women).

    I would advise that you should seek professional help as well. These are not healthy urges for you and if left unchecked could lead to severe harm for you and for others. A growing number of countries have support and treatment programmes for people who have unwanted sexual attractions towards children and young people - depending on where you live you may be able to access one of these.

    Remember that you cannot act on these urges. Resolve that you will not let these feelings overwhelm you and pray to Allah for strength to pass this test.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  2. I agree with everything @midnightmoon said.

    Make sure you are within your prayers as this is your protection against Shaytaan. Also, steer clear of this girl. In fact, when around any women.. You should be lowering your gaze. Islam didn't make these rulings to be hard on us, he made them to protect us. We all have to gain control over our inner desires and overtime it becomes easier to be on the path of Allah swt.

    Here is a lecture from Nouman Ali Khan:

    Sexual Desires - Nouman Ali Khan - Quran Weekly

    May Allah swt guide and protect us all Ameen

  3. SHAITAN is really working on you because your heart is not clean....here's how what you are looking at what you are listening at hat r you eating......EG if you are socializing with opposite sex looking at bad things listening to music and eating unblessed food ....You don't go to the local sunni mosque you are not praying . Praying correctly and reading quran daily what do you expect...Believe me all the muslims are in the same boat some have lost themselves....So you know your self....As I say it before...An idle man's brain is a devils workshop.

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