Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Pornography and masturbation are ruining my life!

Confused

Assalam-o-alaikum dear brothers and sisters,
I am 23 years old. I am staying alone at my flat for the past two years. I am away from my family, preparing for higher studies. For most part of the time, I have to remain at my flat and I'm supposed to study. I have put myself in such a worse situation, where the Shayateen commands me to do shamelessness and then I can't really help myself. I ve given him so much authority over myself, that when I raise my hands for repenting, I dont get the tears down and I am not able to do the sincere repenting. I ve killed the inner fear that I used to have For Allah (SWT).

It's all due to watching more and more of porn and then compulsively masturbating. And from the past two weeks, it has a taken a great toll and its happening on a regular basis. I ve lost all the impulse control. I always see myself suffering and also feel so much disturbed (it takes away the peace of my heart) after I commit this sin, and yet when it haunts me the next time, or when an pornographic image captured deep inside my memory comes drooling over my mind, I impulsively watch the filth again. I ve crossed all the lines, and I dont seem to forget even the oldest of the porn movies, that I had watched. They still linger on my mind and haunt me all of a sudden.

Because of the excess filth I watch, I ve forgotten a lot of good things that I learnt strivingly. I seem to have forgotten a plenty of them. When I put myself under the devil's control, i think, "what if I simply masturbate without watching porn?", but I'm never able to do this at the least. It is actually the pornographic content that I desperately long to see. It has affected my Dua, loosened my connection with Allah, affected my salah (I dont have the khushu and khudu in my prayer anymore) and it has even affected my studies to a great extent (my academic failure, as this is only the thing that consumes most of my time ). Its a biggest hindrance in my scoring in the competitive exams, for which I need to rigorously prepare remaining at my flat.

Once I used to be the mua'zin of my hostel masjid, i used to say the azan during the days of my high school, my heart used to be stuck in the masjid and now seven years from thereon, I find myself in a serious mess now.

Please I require a very serious counselling and Dua. I ve gotten totally hopeless about myself, my dunia and my akhira. Everything is endangered and in a position to get extinct now. Please help me out.

Jazakallahu khair

Anas

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11 Responses »

  1. Brother ,

    You said you stay alone in the flat and this is very important factor .
    First step you need to do is "Not to stay alone" .See if you can stay with your friends for some time till your family is back or any other arrangement .

    When we are alone it is easy to fall for those filth . You try to stay with people to max .

    It is battle between good and evil .You need to keep trying stopping this habit till the time you don't win and stop it completely .

    Pray namaz on time and read quran daily .

  2. You need medical help.Try antidepressants from you're G.P. He may start you on a low dose and slowly take you off, it's the best thing also stay busy get out the house if possible but do seek medical Help it Helps!!!

  3. Assalamwalekum brother
    I agree that you shouldnt be alone in your flat too much. You said your studies are suffering, is there a way you can find a public library or something similar where you can study instead of doing so alone at your place? Also if possible use your computer smart phone etc as least possible. For example if you do join a library to study see if you can rely on physical books than the laptop. It will help keep temptation away.
    Is it possible for you to get involved in sports or join a gym or take martial arts classes or even meditation? Something that will get you so ttired when you return gome that you just want to sleep? Physical activity will also help in getting out some of the frustration you feel?
    But most importantly dont be alone. Join a club if necessary. Try staying with your family for some time.
    You clearly know the importance of prayer but perhaps reading the Quran too will help. Just 15 mins or so a day. And hete is a tip i use when i feel tempted to do something wrong. I loudly say that by doing so i am letting Shaitan win in the battke between him and Allah and that i will NOT let that happen. And i know you feel that you are too out of control for something like that to stop you but trust a little wake up call to the concious can go a long way.
    May Allah help you

  4. Assalam alaikum An as
    If u r asking for help then Allah is making connection with u....u love Allah...and the solution is one that u have heard a hadith when prophet tells a young man to fast if he can't marry the legal way..reduce it seeing and fast at least three days a month n offer the morning prayer after sunrise with ur daily namaz. ..n if u feel u can contact doctor. ..but it only when u feel. It's not hard and do not be alone find a room partner. .my prayers will be there With you Brother

  5. Salaam alaykum, ..
    Bismillah

    Brother ,.holy Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gave us the remedy for lusts and desires. But I Will also include remedy from shuyukh

    #1 from this day foreward you need to throw your self at the feet of holy Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and devote your spare time to reciting salat and Salam upon him sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. This will help you slowly slowly to give up your addiction to this sin.
    Also you must understand you have an addiction ,that all sins are an addiction and require effort to give them up. You must strive 40 days with all your effort to not look at any portn at all . After 40 days InshaAllah your addiction will be broken. In your situation it is better if you can't take it anymore to master bate alone but no porn at all , none. This society is exposing men to pornography on such mass it's becoming virtually impossible for men to not see it. Salawatunnabi prayers on Prophet will strengthen your faith and help you to stay away from haram . Not many know this secret.

    #2 you must get married,.....this is the Prophets saws. Remedy. I don't care your in school or not,...ask your self is school more important or your hereafter . Now according to the scholars both you and the girl will still study and live with your parents but you will be able to be with one another legally halal.

    Wassalaam

  6. asalamualeykum brother every think is said but i will add another important one is fasting will help yo a lot.
    i mean its realy another good way to avoid every bad think and please come out of that flat its just another satanic jail for you join sport groups or come to masjid for prayer and you find out your self tired and only want to ssleep when you come home. may Allah guide us all

  7. Assalam-u-alaikum.
    Dear sisters & brothers.
    I am a having a problem of having loneliness such as above.
    I am 22 years old, I was energetic, healthy, athelete, sharp minded, genius, naughty & totally fond of all sorts of game early in my teenage.
    But for the past 4 years I addicted to as a common we use HP(Hand practice). I am using net but not fond of pornography but after a period I may watch, but in a week (sory to say) I must do the shamefull act.
    I can't avoid myself, due to this am not regular in my prayers.
    Anyhow Whenever I totally get rid off my this bad habbit suddenly it comes again & involved me again.
    After Two to three days I become free,but suddenly it repeats again.
    I need ur prayers support me plz.
    I wanna go back to my childhood.

  8. Don't think of explicit things. That's what ticks you off. If you can try train your mind you will succeed because you wont feel tempted as much.

  9. PLS DONT WATCH THEM. OK

    • To all brothers I stay in Europe but I am from Muslim family Pakistan so I came to work here I stay alone since many years around 6 years I became addict of porn and masturbation I lost my health I really need cure and I don't have courage to get marry if i go back to my country or here I am around 28 now need advise to stop masturbation addiction film

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