Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I Practice Islam, but am afraid of my Parents; I am even Bullied at School for my Simplicity

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Hello. I am a 13 year old girl, about to turn 14 and I have been following Islam for about 6 months.

The only problem is that my family is made up of STRICT Christians that will not accept me. I know that because they did not let my friend and her mother into the our house because they are Muslim.

I have also been extremly depressed and have been hurting myselsf. Nearly everyday since they found out my friend was muslim I have to hear my parents talk about how digusting Islam is. It just tears me apart knowing that they would think the same thing about me. They are making me want to be at my friends home more than my own.

Not only that, but the bullying at school is pretty extreme because of how I dress. I don't wear makeup, jewlery or tight fitting clothes anymore. They are making rumors that I am pregnant and trying to hide a bump because of my loose fitting shirts.

I want to be able to fast and wear FULL hijab.  I want to be able to  pray like I should and not worry about getting caught.

All in all I want to be accepted by the people I love.

Does anyone have any advice on what I should do??

~ lostandhurting

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8 Responses »

  1. Assalamualaikum sister,

    It is amazing to see so many little boys and girls like you enter Islam. Indeed, Allah Guides whoever He Wills.

    Sister, we had a similar post on our website some days ago. Please read it to see if the advises there can help you.

    My sister, Allah Has Chosen you over million others who are wandering in the darkness, led by shaitaan. So, don't feel bad. Allah Has Guided you to His Path, which is a requirement for access to His Forgiveness and His Mercy in The Hereafter.

    You need not say anything to your parents, sister. Just stay quiet and have patience. Allah Will Give Islam its Position, insha Allah, when everybody will only speak good about Islam and will intend to become a Muslim. (INSHA ALLAH)

    Is there as possibility that you report the kids who bully you bu school? This could help avoid this insha Allah. And insha Allah, you'll receive other suggestions from other readers on this, to help you get over this issue.

    Also read the post I mentioned from the link above. Insha Allah, you'll find a lot of similarity between yourself and the sister who posted that.

    You can probably offer your prayers in secret. Perhaps by locking yourself in your room when you are at home.

    Additionally, read the following two similar stories, so that you can take advise from them too.


    I pray to Allah that He takes you in His Mercy and Helps you


    If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask. We'll be more than happy to help you, insha Allah.

    Muhammad Waseem Editor

  2. Assalaamu aalaikum, little sister!

    You are so lucky, MashAllah, to be guided by Allah Taala! Alhamdulilah!

    To begin with, I sail through the same ocean as well. Of course, Mr. Waseem posted the link above and readers have given me good advice to my dilemma.

    I'm curious to know if you're under your parents' constant watch and cannot go out of the house alone freely. 'When' you can go out, sneak out to a mosque nearby with a Muslim friend in your locality when possible.

    1. About the prayers, you can tell your parents that you have important tests to prepare (consider that life is an arena of tests and battles) and ask them not to disturb you. Lock yourself up in your room, pray and study.

    2. For the bullying problem, transfer to a different school where bullying is strictly prohibited. 'When' possible, choose a school where Muslims are the majority. Looking at its name, one wouldn't (or shouldn't) know it is a Muslim school. Talk to your parents about the bullying if you find it possible to convince them with very strong reasons.

    3. I do not mean to offend your loved ones, but Christians are pretty notorious when it comes to committing many haram acts. It was wrong of them to drive away your friend and her mother, be they Muslims or Non-Muslims since they were guests. Ignore your parents if they talk bad about Islam and get out of there and do something else.

    Learn your prayers as quickly as possible and make dua everyday to Allah Taala that you want your loved ones to accept Islam forever and you'll naturally be accepted, InshAllah. Do good deeds like feeding the poor and you will be rewarded.

    Eat Halal, Wear Halal and Live Halal.

    I don't have anything left to say and this is the first time I'm providing help by giving advice to a fellow Muslimah. I hope you find it helpful.


  3. Subhaan Allah, Marsh a Allah, I'm sooo proud of you sister, be strong, Insha Allah, I will pray for you too.

    Re: bullying please speak to your teachers or even your parents, I'm sure your parents will want to help you in this matter-but if they don't or you feel you can't confide in them definately speak to your teachers ASAP

  4. Dear sister, As-salamu alaykum,

    You are very brave, ma-sha-Allah. You will receive a great reward from Allah for this struggle. Do not ever harm yourself! That is not allowed in Islam. Our bodies are gifts from Allah, given to us in trust.

    I don't have much to add to what has been written, except that you should report the bullying to the school authorities, and let your parents know as well. If the school does not take action to stop the bullying, (and you are in the USA) then you should contact CAIR and they can intervene on your behalf.

    See also a very similar question that we answered recently from another sister in almost the same position as you:

    15 Year old Muslim revert living in a strictly Christian family, and I can’t stand it.

    I could put the two of you in touch by email if you are interested.

    Wael Editor

  5. hi basically im frm hindu family but i lik to cum islam bcoz i luv islam. Im reading kalma, prayers, quran etc. Now problem is i need to change name in al my certificates, ration card, voters id, pan card, passport, community certificate,etc. It is possible to change name in al this? I live in chennai, india

    • As Salamualaikum,

      Brother Sarath, I welcome you to Islam and its beautiful teachings. Your name, per me, does not refer to any Hindu god or anything which involves Worship to other than Allah.
      If I am right, then you need not change your name. But it is preferred that you do. Have a name such as Abdur Rahmaan or Umar or Abu Bakar, etc.

      Even if you don't change, it wouldn't matter, insha Allah. But if your name points to a Hindu god or indicates something Worshipped other than Allah, you are required to change it. Having said this, you are supposed to keep your father's name or your family's name. You are not allowed by the Islamic Law to eliminate this.

      If you wish to receive help on understanding Deen, locating sources for learning Deen in Chennai or you wish to receive any further advise, then I recommend you to post a query separately on our website by logging in.

      Jazakallahu Khair

      Muhammad Waseem Editor

  6. Asalamoalaikum wa rehmatullaahi wa barakatuhu sister

    this life is a trial, everyone has some problem of his own. How we act and face those problems makes the difference.
    Allah says ask the help of Allah by Namaz and patience. Indeed Allah is with the patient ones.
    when Allah wants to benefit someone he opens the heart of that person for Islam.
    Glad tidings to you that you are selected by Allah. Allah selected you so now you will also be tested so be patient and offer namaz.
    Don't loose hope as u r chosen by none other than Allah, and struggle as you will be rewarded for that.
    As for the bullying be patient, and dont be sad, u will ask why???
    bcoz they are providing you opportunity to earn ajar. if u r patient u will get ajar, if u will forgive them u will get more ajar, you act nice with them more ajar........
    so its an opportunity for you
    every problem we face in this life is an opportunity for us to earn ajar

  7. MashaAllah..

    Many nice responses.

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