Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Praying for the person whom I used to love

dua imploring

As Salamu Alaikum,

I loved a girl very very much and tried my best to marry her. She was a very good girl but I could not marry her. I understand this was a haram relationship but we had repented from it and wanted to get married. But as I said, I could not marry her and later she also get married to some one else. She also wanted to marry me but as some one better than me proposed her and I requested her to marry him as he was a very good man. Though it was a heart broken situation for both us, I still insisted her that she should marry some one else and finally she got married to some one else. As far as I know she is now happy, I am also looking forward to get married to some one else and move on, if I find some one.

But the thing is, I really cared for her and miss her. So I make dua for her and her family's well being at dunya and afterlife. This is the only thing I can do for her now.  I didn't get her in this worldly life, she was such a very good girl, But Can I pray to Allah that so that Allah gives me that woman in Jannah ? She is some one else's wife now and living her life happily i guess. But though I am sad, i accepted the Allah's decree and I understand Allah has kept someone better than her also for me in sha allah. But I want to pray to Allah that, may Allah give me that woman in Jannah, so that I can talk to her, I could play with her, I could do all the things that I wanted to do in this dunya with her, in Jannah. Is this okay? Can I make such dua to Allah though she is married to someone else?

We are all human being, love and care is our nature. But crossing limits in this world because of that love is not okay in dunya. So I have convinced myself that its okay I can live in this dunya with whatever Allah gives me and without her. I just want to make dua that to Allah that, Allah gives me this person in Jannah that I loved so much and forgive us all.

Fi Amanillah


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8 Responses »

  1. dear brother, you should forgive her its is very difficult but you should do because she got married and living a happy life with her husband as you said I guess. if she love you should b marriage with you and you should send propose to her home.You should live without her and get marriage to another girl which is good in seen and world .be happy and remember me in your prayers.

    • As Salamu alaikum, JazakAllahu Khair for your reply.
      I have nothing against her and i forgave her. It was my parents who didn't allow this marriage to happen with me. Yes I am living without her and will get married soon in shaa allah. It's you know, the feeling of missing someone and then I can convince myself okay it's temporary in this world and you will get what you want in Jannah in shaa allah. She and her family is always in my dua in shaa allah. And Everything is possible in Jannah in shaa allah.

  2. Aaww
    Dear brother it is totaly impossible! You can make dua for all Muslims in the world! She is now another persons wife of Allah wills if they don't get devoted in this world and they are good Muslims she will also be his wife in jennah!

  3. oa, I am v much disturbed because of problems in my family life. I started loving my husband while i was at the last stage of my education. The love was expressed firstly by him. he proposed me and i asked him to ask his family first for the marriage if they will come to my house then i can continue otherwise it's difficult. he asked from his mother and elder brother and they said no issue we are agreed, you need not not to be worry. i started my relation with him and in few days he was totally changed, not even agreeing to get married. i have been to hospital in serious condition 3 to 4 times...his brother even talked with him but he didnt respond just becoz he loves his father alot and his father's brother has set his relation with his daughter when he was born. though his uncle died few years back but still the love and emotional blackmailing forced him to get married to that girl. meanwhile i went abroad and attempted suicide but got saved. he was still loving me but because of the family didnt proceed the relation. after one week of his marriage i talked to his father and told the whole thing, at the end we got married happily with concern of bot the families. before marriage me and my husband did commitment to take care of his first wife but after our marriage it seemed impossible, even my husband used to cry that what should i do,,,,,,,i cant go near her...........i just love you. after my marriage i never allowed my husband to go near her,,,because whenever he goes away from me i get terrible sick almost near to death ...our bond is like this ...Allah is also aware of it....its natural that i got what should we do now? family is pressurizing by saying that you both have commited, so fulfil that commitment in any case otherwise you will b divorced, because she is our brother's daughter we wont give any harm to her. my husband is also worried because he is saying at the time of marriage i took oath and picked Quran even that i will fulfill my duty towards him. his first wife or father didnt say anything like this to me, but my husband himself rememberrs and he is v much worried now. we did commitment but now we are unable to fulfill that after trying alot. my husband now says that i can do it by taking as "Majbori" but in my view in this way all three lives will be destroyed rather four because i have a son as well. we never ever fought amongs each other but i cant share my husband, he is the only thing which i have in this world and most precious for me. when Allah knows my condition and my husband's as well and when everybody knows that its not an ideal relation and that girl can live more happily if she would marry someone else then y not divorce should b given for our and for her sake as well. my husband is worried that i have taked oath and picked Quran and my father will cut off from me thats y i cant do this....he is asking me to compromise which i will do for him but my life will be finished then....i will b just like an alive dead husband also cant live without me....plz tell me the solution and give islamic refferneces so that i can copy and show to my family and husband.

  4. That is very sweet of you to make prayer for her. If you love someone then you want them to be happy. She is not with you which must be hard for you but pray that she is happy in her marriage and with her husband. My ex broke up with me because his family would not accept me and would not allow us to to marry. It really hurt me but I cut all contact with him after that and moved on. I still cared about him then and still now even though it's been years but I want him to be happy and I don't want to cause problems for him. I pray all the time that he gets married to a women that will love him and make him happy. Everything in life happens for a reason. Let her go and pray that Allah will give you a loving and happy marriage. We don't own people and they all come into our lives to teach us something.

    • As Salamu alaikum, JazakAllahu Khair for your heart softening reply. You are right, Allah knows what is best for us. May Allah help you also and make things easy for you.

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